CHAPTER TEN
It's been a couple of hours since Dr. Carlson's interview proved to be a bust.
Despite disliking the man, she and Frost were convinced he was telling the truth. And unable to disprove his ridiculous story, they had sent him on his way.
Frost had disappeared back into BRIC afterwards, swearing up and down that he was going to find another clue if it killed him. And she's been, well… mostly staring off into space.
"Everything okay?" Korsak enquires from behind his desk.
"Just thinking about this case," she breathes as she swivels her chair to face him. Decides to give voice to the developing theory that swirls in her mind. Use Korsak as a sounding board. "What if there's a psychological element at play here? The housecoat and slippers feel like part of a fantasy, you know. Like he forced her to wear them. Tried to create a nice domestic life for himself. She could have broken the fantasy."
He gives her a nod, confirms the plausibility of her theory. "She does something that upsets him, he snaps, he hangs her."
And spelled out like that, in his typical no-nonsense way, it feels like no other theory would fit so well.
"It is textbook psychopathic behavior," she crows, levels a hand at her computer. "But I couldn't find any similar cases in VICAP. Maybe that was his first and only attempt to fulfil his fantasy. We know something went wrong because he killed her."
Korsak doesn't get a chance to respond because Frost comes dashing out of BRIC, screeches to a halt between their desks. "I just found a woman who went missing last week that matches the physical profile of our first victim. I think we should check it out!"
She glances at Korsak, gets a stiff nod of approval before she turns back to her partner. "Alright. Let's go."
Stay optimistic, she reminds herself, as they collect their keys and jackets. Ignoring the sense that, without anything else to go on at this point, they might well be just clutching at straws.
With a graceful sidestep, she allows a waitress carrying a huge tray of food to pass as she approaches the bar. The delicious smell assaults her nostrils. Makes her stomach grumble. And she tries not to drool at the sight of juicy burgers with all the trimmings.
It's been a while since she fled from her barely-touched lunch and she curses under her breath. Manages to drag her eyes from the food and comes to a stop beside Frost. Promises her gurgling belly a hearty dinner whenever she makes it home.
"Why did you report Sarah Harrison missing?" Frost asks the restaurant manager.
"Well, Sarah didn't show up to work for two days," the man explains, "and when I called to check on her, her phone was disconnected. But I shouldn't have made the report. It was all a big mistake."
Jane frowns, confused. "She came back to work?"
"No," he insists with a headshake, gives a small shrug. "But I got her letter of resignation in the mail a day later."
Her eyebrows shoot up at the coincidence. "Do you still have that letter?" she asks, gets a firm nod in return. "Could I see it?"
He reaches under the bar, drags up and flicks through a messy pile of paperwork as she reaches for her phone. She uses the speed dial and turns, sees Frost's face has clouded over with the same dreaded suspicion she feels brewing in her gut.
"Korsak!" she rushes when he picks up, mouths a thank you as the manager hands over a piece of paper. Her eyes rush over the words and her stomach drops as she says, "Do you still have Charlotte Milson's letter of resignation that her sister gave you?"
"Sure. I have it right here."
She lowers the phone, flicks it onto speakerphone for Frost's benefit. "Can you read it to me?"
"Yeah. Uh… 'Dear Mr. Phillips, I regret to inform you that I am resigning from my position at Barney's Diner, effective immediately. Thank you for the support and the amazing opportunities you've provided me –'"
"'- I have enjoyed my time with the company so much, but I've decided to leave Boston.'"
"Wait. How did you know that?"
She looks up from the letter, regards Frost with his hands on his hips as he gives her a resigned headshake. They're already too late.
"Because our killer wrote both letters. And it looks like he took Sarah Harrison."
It's just before 9pm. A bullpen full of empty desks surround them and most of the lights are out, as if they need the extra contrast to tell them exactly how late it is.
"Forget this!" Frost snaps all of a sudden, shoves his keyboard across the desk. "We're going round in circles."
"Go home," she yawns, plants her elbows on the desk and rubs hands over her tired face. Lack of sleep is fast catching up with her. But she'd put money on him feeling just as tired, having worked two full days on this case compared to her one.
"I don't get it… What did we miss?"
The missing link. That something - or someone - that connects Charlotte Milson to Sarah Harrison.
They have the almost identical resignation letters but there's something else. She knows it exists. It has to exist. But they've driven themselves crazy for the last few hours, and come up empty.
She shrugs, shakes her head. Feels the frustration they share. "I honestly don't know. Just… go get some rest." Easier said than done, she knows, given that they have another missing girl. "Tomorrow, we - we start over. Give it fresh eyes."
As far as suggestions go, it's pretty poor. Sounds lame to her own ears. Obvious.
She has the same niggling feeling that he does. That the clue they are desperate for lies buried somewhere in their case file. But she started losing the will to work over an hour ago. Would fall asleep in a heartbeat if she put her head down on the desk.
He stands abruptly, growls as he pushes in his chair. Grumbles as he shucks on his suit jacket, "This better not turn into a damn cold case."
"It won't," she smiles kindly, tips her head back to look up at him as he moves around to her side of the desk. "We'll find her," she promises.
"You going home?"
"Right behind you," she nods, flicks off her monitor to prove the point.
"No, I meant…" he pauses, pins her with a look, "are you going home?"
"Aw, man," she huffs. Whines, "Are you ever gonna let that go?"
"Nope," he chuckles as he turns and walks away. "Not while I'm alive to see how you look at her."
She feels her face pale, grateful that he can't see it. Steadies herself with a deep breath. "And I told you a long time ago, it doesn't matter how I look at her. If -"
"Psh," he scoffs, waves a dismissive hand behind him. Raises his voice so that it echoes across the bullpen. "Keep telling yourself that." His tone brighter than both the room and her mood. "Have a nice night!"
"Frost?" she calls without thinking, makes him turn at the door.
"Yeah?" he frowns when she doesn't speak.
She smiles, tilts her head in a way that says thank you. "You're a good friend, you know that?"
His blinding grin warms her insides before he ducks through the doorway. "See you tomorrow, Jane."
"Yeah," she breathes, the noise barely a word. Watches him disappear down the hall, lets her eyebrows fall together in a frown. "Maybe."
She turns back to her desk, flicks on the monitor. Changes the screen with one click of her mouse and stares at a pop up message.
It's a search result. The same quick search she ran earlier, ten times today in fact. Just wanting to be sure.
But, as she sags back into her chair with a heavy sigh, it provides little relief. Just an empty, nagging feeling that bubbles away in the pit of her stomach.
Kelsey Mills: Case Not Found
She strides barefoot from the bedroom wearing her scraggliest sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt. Grabs a beer from the fridge. Finds her pizza still pleasantly warm in its box on the coffee table where she left it.
Just like the rest of her apartment, actually. There's a closet full of clean clothes where several freshly laundered suits hang covered in Maura's brand of dry cleaning bags. And any mess consists only of her own belongings, nothing of Frankie's.
It's all just the way she left it. And it provides relief and confirmation. She doesn't need a brain scan, but she has somehow stumbled upon another reality. An alternate universe. And, weirdly, she has inhabited both.
With a huge sigh and one leg curled beneath her, she settles into the couch and flicks on the TV.
She's tired and physically sore. Has more bruises on her skin now than were visible this morning. Rubs at the remainder of the tender, shrunken lump on the back of her head.
Crossing over clearly isn't free. Like needing a coin for the ferryman. And even though she remembers it hurt like a son of a bitch, she considers it a small price to pay for what she found on the other side.
Leaning forward, she swipes a piece of pizza. Closes her eyes and moans in pleasure as she fills her mouth. It feels like a lifetime since she ate. A decade since she swore she'd fill her stomach.
It is delicious, and she finishes the first piece in short order. Is about to pick up a second when her cellphone starts to ring.
"You have got to be kidding me," she groans. Drops her head back and curses silently to the heavens. At whoever or whatever made the universe conspire against her today.
But Maura's ID is flashing on the screen when she picks it up and she deflates just as quickly as she blew up.
"Hey, Maura. What's up?"
"Hi, Jane!"
"Ma?" She checks the screen again. "Why are you calling me on Maura's phone?"
"Oh, well… I seem to have misplaced mine -"
"Mm-hm," Jane murmurs, unconvinced. Her mother is a smart woman. Smart enough to know that Jane is more likely to pick up the phone to Maura. The only reasons she doesn't address the manipulation is because she just wants to wind down.
"Are you doing okay honey? I haven't seen you in a few days."
"Yeah, I'm good."
"Are you eating enough? Maura mentioned you skipped lunch. I can bring you some lasagna or -"
"No, no. Don't do that," she rushes, frowning at the thought of Maura discussing her behavior. "Thank you, though… I'm trying to eat dinner right now actually," she hints. A comment that flies right over Angela's head, oblivious to the irony that is her ill-timed phone call. "Is Maura there?"
"No, she's upstairs meditating… I think she misses you."
She scoffs, wonders where the hell that thought came from. "You can't miss someone you see every day," she reasons, trying to convince herself as well as Angela perhaps. "And I stayed over there last night."
"I know, but -"
She cuts her mother off with a sigh. "Not to mention she has Jack. People don't want their friends hanging around when they could be…" It's not a thought she wants to complete.
"He's not there half as much as you think he is y'know. Keeps cancelling their -"
"I don't need to know," she cuts in, firm and final. Rubs her fingertips hard into her temple. "Leave Maura's private life alone, Ma. It's not our - your business."
"Mm-hm… If you say so."
The way Angela murmurs sounds familiar. Sounds just as unconvinced as she did over the missing phone. It's unsettling.
Jane has always had a need to know, felt a push to dig for answers. It's a part of her nature. She's a born investigator for a reason. And though she might call that same trait 'nosey' in others – or in her mother specifically – she can't deny that at their root they share the same deep curiosity.
Damn genetics.
"I promise I won't skip lunch tomorrow, okay?" she offers, moves onto a subject that is much safer ground. "I'll even come and eat in the café if I get chance."
"I'll hold you to that, Janie."
"I know you will," she chuckles, expects to have her whereabouts checked by mid-morning at least. "Goodnight, Ma."
"Night, honey. I love you."
"I love you, too," she says and promptly ends the call, unable to account for the burgeoning tears she can feel welling up. "Well, shit," she breathes, sniffs sharply before tucking into another slice of pizza.
If she was hoping to get through the rest of the night without thinking about Maura – not just this Maura, but her Maura, too - it is effectively ruined now. As is the pizza, which she dumps back into the box. Stone cold thank you very much.
Trust Angela to mention Jack, to speculate about Maura missing her, as if that would make her feel better. As if she's not torn up enough already.
It's part of the reason she stopped going over there so much, stopped accepting Maura's invitations before all this portal-to-another-dimension nonsense happened. Nobody likes being a third wheel.
She gets up in a huff, retrieves a plate from the kitchen and loads it up with pizza. Slumps against the kitchen countertop as she slams the microwave door shut. Lets her head fall back against the wall cabinet with a clunk and a wince as she waits for it to reheat.
The fact is this life comes complete with unrequited love. And despite whatever Angela thinks she knows, however misguided she might consider Jane's choice to take a backseat, she'll have to accept it. Just like Jane accepted it a long time ago.
Except…
She pulls her head forward. Mulls it over with a tightly scrunched brow.
An alternative exists. Or it did. Is it still there? Could she - should she go through again?
The microwave pings and she slides the plate onto the breakfast bar. Retrieves her beer from the coffee table and her phone from the couch.
She could go through, go get her Maura back. It doesn't seem like it would cause any harm. So, she sneaks around a little in the middle of the night. So what? Nobody needs to know.
But she does need to know what she's dealing with, and so she makes another trip around the couch, brings her sleeping laptop over from the armchair and sets it up next to her plate. Pulls up a stool and grabs a slice.
There doesn't appear to be a clear place to start and, anticipating a lengthy research session, she sets her phone alarm for 3am. Whether to ensure sleep, or to try and catch the doorway again, she's undecided.
She sucks the grease from her fingers, still manages to smear a shiny residue on the keys as she types.
'Alternate Reality' returns almost 8,000,000 results, and she exhales a lungful of air at the screen with her eyebrows high and her cheeks puffed out.
Definitions. Movie synopses. News articles. Scientific Papers.
The amount of information to trawl through is overwhelming. But she simply downs her beer, rolls up her sleeves, and wades right in.
A\N: Got real busy with yard work last weekend because the weather was so nice, so apologies for the delay. There might be a few more gaps coming up because I have family coming to visit next week and am going on vacation for a couple weeks after that. I'll update when I can so please bear with me and thanks for still tagging along if you made it this far! :)