June 14th

I had my spar with Fiora at her manor today. It was fun, yes, but my mind is jumbled after seeing her again. I might be mad with alergies right now; I think there's something between Fiora and I, something magnetic. We're giving each other these pulling looks of the eye. Or not, I don't know.

Manor Laurent hosts a giant gymnasium with an arched ceiling, deep purple walls, and enormous golden stained glass windows that fill the space with light. It had a church-like atmosphere, grand and imposing. Dumbbells sat on a rack near the entrance, high bars stood over a padded section of the floor, and a raised platform ran down the center of the room for fencing matches. A display of swords and padded suits lined the entire back wall.

Fiora showed me around before breaking out the fencing gear. We got ready in a jiff. She's a master of the foil for sure: I got my arse whooped in every bout but one. The protective gear and masks were heavy, but Fiora moved unhindered by them, as if she were fighting stark naked!

Against all odds, I managed to disarm her on our last match. I found an opening after she jumped at me with a lunge, gliding my blade down hers and twisting it out of her hand! She had a brief look of disbelief the moment the blade left her hand, but it quickly turned into a sly smile. "No wonder you came out of the Freljord in one piece."

I had to say a rebuttal, through lots of tired panting. "It takes more than that to survive a tour in the Freljord."

We stopped, removed our gear, and sat on a nearby bench.

"What makes a leader, Captain Amatea?"

I had to think for a second. I had so many people ask me this same question, but I give out different answers every time.

"Well, I got the stripes. Therefore my men are obligated to follow orders. That's the logic of things, isn't it?"

"To a soldier beneath your rank, that is the logic. But you are more than a soldier. You are a captain. On the frontier, the higher ranks recognized your valor and deemed you their equal...all of them men. How dreadful."

"Do these men see me as nothing but a woman, you know? Like my accomplishments come second in their eyes."

"I know them personally. Yes, they are men. Don't hold it against them. But they are also competent judges of valor and character. Trust me in this."

I almost laughed. My face let out a big stupid grin.

"Huh. If you say so."

The dressing room glowed in mahogany. Wooden sliding doors surrounded us, with small closets behind them. Our clothes hung on bronze hangars. Burgundy screens stood everywhere. We undressed out of sight of each other.

Speaking through the screen, Fiora started another inquiry. "I know your accomplishments. I know you earned your stripes. But I want you to tell me, from the heart, what makes you a leader of men. How do you stir soldiers to action?"

I just got out of my fencing trousers. All I had on were my undergarments. As I worked my mind around an answer, the cold didn't bother me. I was warm.

"I think it's because I focus on the task in front of the company. If danger shows itself, it's up to me to have a plan. Doesn't have to be the best plan, but it must be fair and just. Every decision I make has a moral foundation. My men are very receptive of that. They respect my integrity, even when they don't agree with my methods."

I heard Fiora mutter to herself "Surely..." while I donned my undershirt. She replied as I got my head through. "It invigorates me, to this side of you, Amatea. The captain side of you. Did that feel good, explaining it?"

"Yeah. It did." I said while straightening my hair. "It really did! Like I pushed something off my chest."

"You did precisely that. Leading men is a heavy burden."

I pulled up my regular trousers as I asked "What about your leadership style? How do you make your magic happen?"

"I expect as much of my men as I do of myself. That is my way of being honest. I endeavour to surround myself with honest people. Like you."

I stuck my head out from behind the screen to giggle "You flatter me!"

"And you flatter me more" Fiora replied, laughing. "I am not flattered easily!"

Through a strange angle between the hinges on the screen, I accidentally saw Fiora bent over with her rear to me, adjusting her black tights. I quickky retreated my head out of sight, but the image of her pronounced butt lingered in my head. She has a nice butt! I will not deny that!

We both emerged at the same time. She wore a bright yellow dress, light and airy. Fiora shifted her weight on her right leg and put her hands on her hips as she looked at me. I realize how different she is around me. Her demeanor was relatively easy and casual. I almost forgot she has an ego the size of a whale. Her eyes darted up and down my body in a quick scan. She lingered her gaze on my chest for a moment before leveling back to my eyelevel. I can't believe I caught all this...

Fiora and I parted ways after a quick spot of tea. She had a meeting with a League emissary to prepare for, and I have to work on her sword. Progress on the project is steady and on schedule. I'm glad I still haven't lost my touch with blade crafting.

What does Fiora find so fascinating about me?

Does she look at my body the same way I do hers?

Are we both...?

I'm going to sleep RIGHT NOW.