Chapter 10 – Unexpected turbulence

The following day they traveled through space dock to the Surak. It was time to return to Earth. After stowing the few belongings that they had carried aboard, the couple settled in the ship's common area to catch up on messages and work.

Amanda was reading messages on her comm when she smiled suddenly, exhaling with a small noise of pleasure. Sarek's head rose from his own PADD to observe her, curious. Sensing her husband's eyes upon her, she raised her own to his as her smile broadened.

"What pleases you at this moment, my wife?"

"Marcia commed me. She and some of my friends want to know when we're returning so that they can throw me a bachelorette party."

"Indeed." Sarek tilted his head. He had met Amanda's close friend Marcia briefly at their wedding. "What sort of event is this?"

Amanda laughed, caught between once again explaining a thoroughly illogical Human custom and feeling a bit embarrassed about this particular one as it related to herself. "It's a… celebration, for either a bride- or a groom-to-be, hosted by their close friends. Traditionally, it's held the night before the wedding, although that is often no longer the case for a variety of reasons." Massive hangovers, for one, she thought, but decided to leave that out of her description to Sarek. She continued, "It was considered to be one last chance to behave wildly, to 'sow one's wild oats,' as it were, and originally, it was something only done for grooms. Now it's just another excuse for a rambunctious party." Her smile broadened, recalling the friends she'd seen for only a brief time at their wedding and looking forward to spending a fun, if silly, evening with them.

Sarek was still looking at her, but she could see a cloud of confusion forming in his eyes.

By way of explanation, she added, "My friends are asking me to give them a suitable date for the party. They want to hold it in a private club, closed for just this event."

Sarek paused for a moment, then stated, as if for clarification, "You say this… activity is performed prior to the wedding."

"Yes…?"

"Then there is no need for it to be scheduled."

"Oh, Sarek, it doesn't have to happen before the wedding. That's just how it originated, ages ago."

"But we are already bonded, married."

"Yes, of course, but I can still have a party with my friends."

"No." Sarek's voice was firm.

"What?" Amanda was sure she misheard.

"You will not," he replied, as if he were stating the obvious.

"What?" Amanda's voice rose in a combination of surprise and disbelief. She took a deep breath. They were sitting in the Surak's open common area with crew about, and she had no wish to draw attention to their discussion, but –

"To repeat- " Sarek began, wondering if his Human wife was actually suffering from some sudden hearing impairment, but Amanda cut him off before he could continue.

"I heard you!" she hissed. "Just what do you mean I 'will not' have a party with my friends?" she challenged.

"It is inappropriate." Surely this is obvious? He thought.

"'Inappropriate?' Why?" Amanda found her anger rising as her calm rapidly dissolved, a cold fear abruptly gripping her stomach. Did my husband just forbid me from having a celebration with my own friends? Forbid a celebration of my wedding, of all things? Just who does he think— Just what does he think? She stared at Sarek, wondering who was sitting across from her. This was a complete and unforeseen change from all she knew about how he regarded her.

Sarek straightened, himself concerned. Could Amanda actually wish to engage in such behavior as she described? He had read of occasions such as these and the comportment of the participants did indeed seem both quite archaic and unacceptable. To hear his bondmate speak of doing such nowwas unnerving. He addressed her stiffly. "You describe this event as a last opportunity to 'sow one's wild oat's.' I am familiar with this Human idiom. It implies improper behavior, does it not, including intimate behavior, specifically outside of bonding?" He paused for a moment, re-gathering his control. "Is this something that you… wish to do?"

Amanda was dumbfounded. "Wha- ? Oh no, no, no, Sarek!" she exclaimed. Now there were Vulcan eyes staring at them, before discretely looking away. Amanda fought between relief that Sarek had mis-understood the party's modern, harmless interpretation and hurt that he would think that she would be unfaithful in even the smallest way. She had neither the need nor the desire to ogle male strippers or the like, and even less inclination to consider anything more.

"That kind of thing," she said as she blew out a breath, exasperated, "is just not done anymore. My friends just want to have a little fun." Then the hurt did come through. "I can't believe you would think that of me."

Sarek worked to quell his growing irritation. First his wife describes a Human custom comprised of behavior he found repellant – behavior he had thought she would eschew as well, but then her words appeared to cast doubt on this assumption, a disturbing development. And now she was reacting with anger when asked to clarify her intent. Disturbing and confusing.

"Perhaps," he stated slowly, "We have mistaken each other somewhat. However, participation in a 'rambunctious party,' as you describe, is still most likely inappropriate for an Ambassador's wife."

Amanda prepared to take a relieved breath when Sarek began to speak, only to clamp her mouth quickly shut at his conclusion. Her anger flared, the tension of a week of holding herself from appearing too Human in front of potentially judging Vulcan eyes adding weight to the avalanche of hurt she felt.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this. 'Rambunctious' in this context simply means friends enjoying one another. I'm sure the usual substances will get consumed, sure, but not much more than what I've seen at diplomatic events you've attended. I've just assured you that there won't be any… 'intimate activity' at this get-together, and you still don't trust me to simply join some friends for the evening. Sarek, I am not some sort of irresponsible child to be ordered around this way!"

Seeing her eyes flash in hurt and anger and seeking to calm his own rattled control, it was now Sarek who took a deep breath. "I do not consider you a child, Amanda," he began, "but I must consider the context of your activities in my position, from the perspective of Vulcan."

"So you care little for what my people may think of you at times, but my actions must be dictated by what Vulcans might mistakenly think of me?" Her retort came low and dangerous now.

"You misconstrue my meaning," he returned, frowning.

"Do I?" she challenged again.

Sarek blinked slowly. Not since well before their bonding had she directed this much anger toward him, and he was dismayed by the apparently large gap in their understanding of the situation at hand. Vulcan propriety, and in particular, the need for security, were foremost in his mind, yet Amanda seemed to have dismissed all of this. He considered, refusing to react to the charged emotion between them. Perhaps I can achieve my objectives without constraining her activity so.

He met her angry eyes, confident he had identified a satisfactory compromise for the time being. "Perhaps I can consider an alternative approach that will allow you to celebrate with your friends."

He did not receive the reaction he was expecting.

Oh, really? Amanda thought, thoroughly fed up with his peremptory attitude. Without thinking further, she snapped, "You can consider all you want. I'll tell you how the party was afterward." She turned sharply back to her PADD, as if to respond to Marcia's invitation right then.

Sarek's expression closed abruptly, showing nothing. But not only was he surprised by her rebuff, he was shocked that she would so openly disregard him. She is my wife; this is most improper. And what if she fails to heed a directive necessary for her safety? Most disturbing. He did not trust himself to respond at that moment. This requires additional thought.

"I shall meditate. You will excuse me," he said in Vulcan, his words clipped. He arose and strode briskly from the common area before Amanda had a chance to speak. The remaining crew who had not already departed now bent their heads assiduously to their tasks.

Instead, she sat blinking back tears, well aware that the Vulcans within earshot had heard their entire exchange, and that they all spoke fluent Standard. Not an exchange, an argument, she realized, and the first one they hadn't immediately resolved. How did we misinterpret one another so? The tears stung.

Amanda was nothing if not determined, however, and she was resolved not to leave things this way between them. A couple of deep breaths later, she arose and walked as calmly as possible in the direction of their cabin.

Immediately when the door slid open a thick, fragrant cloud of incense smoke assaulted her. He's burning the expensive stuff, she thought, and a lot of it. He apparently hadn't expected her to return so soon, for he'd laid his meditation mat out right in the middle of the living area. That was where he was now, bent forward in the traditional contemplation pose. His side of the bond closed off to her, she wasn't sure if this was merely due to his meditation or if he was that perturbed at her.

Amanda paused for a moment, considering. She knew she shouldn't interrupt him, but neither did she wish to wait for hours to try to reach him. He couldn't be that deep in trance already…

She knelt in front of him, silent, but knowing he would recognize her presence sooner or later. Sure enough, after a few moments, his eyes opened and he raised his dark head.

"Sarek," she said quietly.

"My wife," came his reply. His eyes unreadable, he would not yield any hint of his thoughts as he studied her.

"I love you."

An elegant eyebrow raised, he remained silent for a long moment before answering, "Indeed."

Amanda willed herself not to give in to frustration. Fence-mending with a Vulcan husband was more difficult than it seemed. 'I'm sorry for hurting your feelings' just wasn't the right thing to say. Besides, she wasn't the only one at fault.

"We're both stubborn, you know."

"'Strong-willed' is more accurate."

"We have very different histories."

He gave her an expression as if to indicate, 'tell me something I don't know.'

She plunged in. "Sarek, when you said those things about the party my friends want to throw – about whether I could go – they made me afraid about what kind of marriage we'll have, about how you think about me. I thought that we were equals, not that you make my decisions for me. What do you think?"

Sarek blinked, then responded. "We are equals, Amanda. Our katras are equal. However, in a Vulcan marriage, it is the male's responsibility to ensure the safety of his bond-mate, and to provide for her and their offspring. In modern times, this duty is merely symbolic, but it is nonetheless observed. And I find…" now his voice became raspier as he worked to mask the emotion underlying it, "that in my occupation, in our lives, this responsibility is far more literal. I must keep you safe."

"But how does a silly party," she fought to keep her own voice level, "threaten my safety?" Amanda implored.

Sarek stared into the space above her head. "Such things are not done on Vulcan. For you to attend unaccompanied, the unsecured location, the… uncertain nature of the activities, the potential behavior of others…" He trailed off, unwilling and unable to fully articulate the level of vulnerability he felt over her. "To not take proper precautions would be most disrespectful of me toward you," he finished, returning his gaze to her. "I will not allow that."

Amanda sat back on her heels, considering. "I understand you, I think – well, sort of. Not entirely." She looked at him, eyes wide and searching his. "But I need to live as a Human, too. How can we acknowledge both of our needs?"

"It appears we will need to compromise," Sarek allowed after a moment.

Amanda's heart lifted at his words, even though she didn't yet know what he had in mind. Perhaps we can work through this…

"So, how do we negotiate this… Ambassador?" Her eyes twinkled hopefully, and Sarek was struck again by how beautiful she was, how innocent, his fragile, utterly Human wife. I must keep her safe, but I must also provide for her happiness – a challenging balance, at times…

"If I were satisfied with the security arrangements surrounding this event, I could perhaps… see the logic… of you attending," he offered, wondering even as he spoke if he had not grievously erred by capitulating this much.

Before he could think further, however, he was nearly knocked over as Amanda enthusiastically flung her arms around his neck, peppering his cheek with kisses, relieved that they had reached an agreement. "Oh, I love you, my husband!" She pulled back slightly to look at him. "And if you send undercover security, I don't want to know about it," she told him, only partly joking.

"I cherish thee, Amanda," he replied, bringing his arms up around her and ignoring her last comment as he silently cataloged the security measures he would put in place.

Later that night, Sarek held her even closer to him while they both slept.