A/N: Sorry for the three weeks of no updates. First it was exams. Then it was Christmas. And the next thing I knew it had been far too long. I have up to 10 finished, so there's really no excuse, but sometimes life just happens. If you read closely, there's a pretty big hint as to what Caroline really is in this chapter. Please enjoy!

Seven. Shake Hands With The Devil

The voice has been annoyed with Caroline since she spoke with Katherine three days ago.

It wanted Caroline to rip Katherine's head off, to show her that messing with them only brought you pain and death. Caroline kind of wanted to do that herself. But Katherine was no idiot, and she had made sure that hadn't been an option.

"You should take better care of your boyfriend, Caroline. I have him compelled. If he doesn't hear back from me within the next hour, he's going to kill himself. So let's talk."

And talk they had. Katherine had been very clear in what she wanted Caroline to do. Elena and Stefan were breaking up, or at least that's what Katherine had ordered them to do. It was Caroline's job to make sure they stayed broken up, and didn't try to play Katherine for a fool.

Caroline had listened to Katherine's plans with only half an ear. The other half was too busy listening to exactly what the voice had thought of the situation. The use of the word "scurvy" made Caroline wonder exactly what this voice was, because that wasn't part of her vocabulary.

Now, Caroline sits in the Grill watching Matt clear off tables far away from hers while she waits for Elena and Bonnie to join her. She had gotten a call from Elena that morning, telling her that it was time to bring Bonnie into the know about Caroline's… situation. Caroline wasn't sure she agreed with the decree at the time, and still isn't sure as she sits and waits for her friends, but Elena had promised that she would set the stage for the whole story, and would only bring Bonnie if she seemed open minded.

Part of Caroline hopes Bonnie won't come. Maybe then one friend will be safe from this monster she's becoming, because Caroline's gaze has wandered away from Matt and over to a pair of guys playing pool that Caroline recognizes from the football team. Once, Caroline would have been admiring their very admirable physiques, but now she's contemplating how very easy it would be to saunter over to them and create some tension.

She could have them coming to blows in minutes…

Caroline shakes her head and turns away.

This has been happening more and more often since the day she saved the Salvatore brothers. She's been having these thoughts that she's never had before, but she knows she can't blame them on the voice. The voice is actually somewhat impressed with the thoughts she's been having. In between fits over Katherine, it's been telling her what a quick student she is.

It's why she's been avoiding Elena, Stefan, and pretty much anyone else she considers herself close to. She's tried to tell herself it's because of Katherine's plot, but the truth is that Caroline is afraid of hurting her friends. She's afraid of what she'll do if she can't fight off the temptation that chaos offers.

Come and see. Take peace from the earth and make men slay each other, Caroline my dear.

The words, spoken in that silky smooth voice that is hers yet not, sound important to Caroline. As if all the questions she has are right in front of her, but she is too blind to see them.

Her thoughts are derailed when Elena and Bonnie sit down across from her. She's been so lost in her contemplation of the football players and her thoughts of Katherine and chaos that Caroline didn't realize her friends had entered the Grill, so she startles.

"Woah, are you okay?" Elena asks, her hand reaching out as if to soothe Caroline.

Caroline gives a nervous laugh and tries to shake away the chills that the voice has given her.

"I'm fine. Perfect as I can possibly be when I'm going insane. So. Elena told you all about my… situation?"

The words are addressed to Bonnie, but it is Elena to answers the question.

"I gave her the basic outline. We don't know what you are, but it's not a vampire or a werewolf, and that we could use her help in figuring out how to fix it."

"Caroline doesn't want to be fixed, Elena," Bonnie replies, her voice cool. Her eyes are scrutinizing Caroline, who feels naked under the gaze. Bonnie looks suspicious and so very distant from Caroline that it causes her a pang. This used to be her best friend. Now she is her judge and jury.

"Bonnie, you said you'd give her a-"

"You're right, Bonnie," Caroline replies, interrupting Elena. "I don't want to be fixed. I just found out I live in a town full of vampire, werewolves, and witches. I was used, abused, and discarded like yesterday's garbage by Damon Salvatore. I was smothered by Katherine in some sick game she's decided to play. So no, I don't want to go back to being helpless little Caroline. As I am now, I actually stand a fighting chance against the creatures here."

"Elena said you've been feeling violent urges. Vampire or not, you're still a monster if you go around killing humans," Bonnie retorts, her voice still cold.

"Because humans are the only creatures that matter, right Bonnie? Humans never kill each other, wage war, destroy the innocent. No, it's all vampires. Get over yourself. Vampires are no more monsters than the humans they feed on or the girl who would have killed every vampire in this town if given a chance."

Caroline isn't sure where the rant came from. When she first learned about vampires, and remembered what Damon had done to her, she had thought much the same as Bonnie. Vampires bad, voice worse, humanity the state to which she aspired.

Now, though, she knows differently. She's still not sure about herself. Bonnie may be very right when she calls Caroline a monster, but she is sure that Stefan is a good guy. Even Damon, who Caroline still cannot stand, doesn't deserve to die because he's a vampire. He deserves to get his ass kicked every chance Caroline gets for what he did to her, but he doesn't deserve to die.

And Bonnie sure as hell doesn't deserve to sit on a high horse and be their executioner.

"You don't have to accept me, Bonnie," Caroline says. "Elena and Stefan have. If you choose to write me off, then go ahead. But don't act like you have a moral high ground here. Human life isn't the only life worth saving. I don't want to give up the powers I have"—Caroline sees Elena's shocked expression and feels that she, at least, deserves an explanation—"I can fight back now, Elena. I'll never be a victim again. I don't want to be a victim again. So, I don't want to be fixed, but I do want to understand what I am." Caroline looks Bonnie straight in the eye. "I don't want to be a monster, Bonnie. I don't want to kill or hurt anyone. I just want to be able to protect myself and the people I love. Help me find out what I've become, so I can learn to control it."

Bonnie and Caroline stare at each other for several minutes, neither willing to back down, until Bonnie finally breaks eye contact first.

"Fine. I'll see if I can find anything… but," Bonnie cuts off and looks down at her hands, obviously unable to come up with the words.

"I don't want to lose you as a friend, Bonnie," Caroline says softly. "But I get it if you need time. I was kind of pissed when I found out you were a witch and didn't tell me about any of this. You deserve that right, too."

Bonnie nods her head once, and then stands.

"I have to go. I'll think about what you said, Care… and I'll see if I can learn anything."

Caroline and Elena both watch Bonnie leave. They sit in silence for a while before Elena finally breaks it.

"Are you sure that you're okay with what you've become? I saw you that day in the forest… and you scared me, Care."

"I scared myself, Elena," Caroline replies softly, tracing the pattern in the tabletop. "But I'm sure. Being a human in this town isn't exactly safe anymore, and the Salvatores can't keep you alive and watch over Matt and Tyler and Jeremy and every other human out there. They need help, and I'm able, willing, to supply that help."

"Speaking of Matt…" Elena trails off and looks over to where he is putting away clean glasses behind the bar. "Have you spoken to him?"

"Not since that day Katherine attacked me. That boats sunk, I'm afraid. Until I know more about me, it wouldn't be safe or fair to him. And speaking of sunk boats, I heard about you and Stefan. I'm sorry."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. That… It was pretty horrible. I hate Katherine."

The words were right, but the tone was wrong, and once again Caroline has flashbacks to Elena-as-Ophelia and she cursed, causing Elena's eyes to widen in surprise.

"Please tell me that the two of you aren't doing something stupid like faking it," Caroline growls.

"Look, you can't tell anyo-"

"I have to!" Caroline almost shouts. She lowers her voice when she sees half the bar staring at them. "Katherine threatened Matt, Elena. I'm her little spy on you and Stefan. If you guys are faking, and she finds out I didn't tell her…"

Caroline trails off with raised brows and Elena's breath catches.

"She'll kill Matt?"

The two girls look at their friend once more. He glances up and sees them staring, and raises his eyebrows in question. Caroline quickly looks away, and kicks Elena to get her to do the same.

"You have to tell her," Elena says. "Stefan and I… we'll deal with it. We'll figure something out."

"I hate this," Caroline hisses, her hands gripping her water glass so tightly that fine cracks begin to develop along the glass edges. "I want to rip Katherine's head off, Elena. I want to hunt her down and kill her, for good."

"I get that, Care," Elena replies, reaching out and pulling Caroline's hands off the glass. "But you have to calm down. Your eyes are changing again."

Caroline closes her eyes tightly, willing the power at the edge of her conscious away. The voice grumbles angrily. It wants Caroline to hunt down Caroline and do all the things Caroline is imagining doing. Caroline hisses at it angrily, the noise actually coming out her mouth, and Elena looks at her in surprise.

"Sorry. It's… it's the voice. It likes to ah… it likes it when I get angry."

"Did you ever try talking to it?" Elena asks. "Stefan mentioned that he told you that might be the best way to get answers. Everything's been so crazy with Katherine and Mason that I haven't had the chance to talk to you. To try and help you."

Elena looks incredibly guilty, and Caroline reaches out for her hand.

"You have helped, Elena. You set up this meeting with Bonnie. And you and Stefan were the only things that kept me sane at first. I feel like crap that I'll be repaying you by betraying you to Katherine."

"It's okay, Care. I totally get-"

Caroline holds up a hand to cut off Elena off.

"It's not okay," she says firmly. "Don't pretend it is. I'm sorry I let it happen. As for the voice… it said that… it's so confusing, Elena. It says that it's me, but that it can't tell me anything because of a witch's curse. It makes no sense, but at the same time I can tell it's telling the truth. It's like there's two mes in my head; the me I always was, and the voice, and they're so completely different, yet so similar."

Elena blows out a deep breath.

"Bonnie will look and see if there's anything. And I'm here for you, Care. I swear, starting now, we'll make you our first priority. We'll figure this out."

"No," Caroline replies. "Right now, Katherine is the first priority, for all of us. Once this thing with her is done, then we'll figure out what to do about me. I have it under control right now."

"Are you sure?" Elena's brown eyes are worried, and Caroline feels guilty that she's put that look there when her friend already has so much to deal with.

"Positive. Now go. I can hold off telling Katherine anything for an hour or two. Go and talk to the Salvatores. Figure something out."

Elena nods, and grabs her purse, standing up.

"I'll call you later," she promises, and Caroline nods.

Katerina will kill everyone she loves, the voice murmurs.

"I know," Caroline murmurs, so quietly she hardly hears her own voice.

You love her.

"What is your point?"

I loved like that once, Caroline receives a flash, flashing green eyes and a wicked smile, and she feels a pang in her heart. There is nothing romantic about her feelings, but she would die for the owner of those eyes, that smile.

"Who is that?"

You'll know, someday. We'll be with him again. You have to stop Katerina.

"If this is some crazy plan to make me like you, forget it. You don't even like Elena."

You love her. I am you. I love her, too.

Caroline realizes the voice is speaking nothing but the truth. It hates Katherine and would love to see her dead. But Elena? There is nothing but love for the human brunette.

For the first time, Caroline faces a very frightening truth. One she's been avoiding since her "death."

The voice is no longer a thing to her. It is her.

AN: So, the voice is Caroline, which is kind of freaking her out because it means that she's the one with all these violent urges. Next chapter, we go to the masquerade ball, and the chapter after that we meet Elijah. The story starts to get a little more AU after that meeting because of reasons you will discover when I put up chapter 10. As always, please review. I love to hear what everyone thinks.