CHAPTER IX : THE LIFE I'VE NEVER HAD

Elsa had written to Anna asking her to come join her here, in this village, with Kristoff. She hadn't received a response yet, but she though it wouldn't be long before she get one. For the time being, she carelessly enjoyed her life. She was catching up – so to speak – the time she had lost, confined in her room at her castle for all of those years by fear of hurting anyone. Her powers had always constituted a part of her but no having them anymore afforded her a feeling of freedom she had never experienced before. She could touch things without them turning instantly into ice, she could feel whatever surrounding her directly with her bare hands and not through gloves anymore, and she could even feel the pleasant warmth emanating from Hans's torso when she gently stroked him with her fingers.

She made a habit of sleeping beside him. Since the night she dreamt about Anna and he came to comfort her, she hadn't been able to find sleep, alone, in her bed. Then, a night, she got up and walked over to the man lying in the sofa. He wasn't sleeping either for his eyes were still opened, staring at the ceiling. When she advanced toward him, he just moved aside to make room for her without saying a word. He eventually wrapped his arm around her waist and she fell asleep. She didn't know why, but she felt comfortable and safe in his arms. He made her calm. Serene. He made her feel something she couldn't feel with anyone else. She loved the warmth, she loved his hot breath on her neck, she loved the feeling of his arms protectively wrapped around her. Elsa had got up in the middle of the night to join Hans on the sofa a few more times before he made up his mind to settle in her bed for good.

That morning, Hans woke up first as usual. Then, she got down to meet him and drink her hot chocolate while reading the newspaper. But, today, what Hans had in his hands wasn't a newspaper but a poster instead.

"Today is Klamårr Day," he said, welcoming her with a large grin.

Elsa, however, gave him a questioning look. She had no idea of what he was talking about. She repeated, an eyebrow raised: "Klamårr Day?"

Hans motioned for her to sit down next to him and explained to her: "it's a traditional festival here, in the Southern Isles, celebrating the unification of the Kingdom. I didn't know small villages celebrated it as well but, when I went out earlier, I saw that they were beginning to set up stalls like everywhere. Traditionally, merchants from neighboring towns come to sell the products of their region, there are parades and dances, and the festival ends up with fireworks."

"Fireworks?" Elsa's eyes lit up. She hadn't seen fireworks since her parents thrown a party for Anna's birth.

Hans gently looked at her. He loved when she had this amazed expression on her face. He loved it so much he took her in his arms and whispered in her ear: "let's buy some clothes for the occasion," before leaving a slight kiss on her cheek which made Elsa blush.

And even though she knew he tried to kill her several times, she couldn't help but to feel happy and free with him. It seemed like she had been right about giving him a chance, about leaving the past in the past. And deep down she knew that he wasn't deceiving her for what would be the point for him to manipulate her now? There was absolutely nothing to gain. Elsa was convinced he was genuine with his feelings for her. Hadn't she felt his heart beat at a breakneck pace whenever she got too close to him at night, in the bed? No one could have control over these things, not even him.

Elsa had asked Olga to help her dress and do her hair. She had bought a night blue dress fitted at the waist with a white ribbon matching her shoes. Olga was doing her hair. She wanted something kind of sophisticated, like a chignon.

"You're gorgeous, Elsa," the innkeeper said. "Your husband must be proud of having such a beautiful wife. And, tonight, I'll personally make sure no one bothers you, I promise," she added, winking.

"Tonight?" Elsa didn't get the point. "What's happening tonight?" she asked.

Olga gently laughed. "Oh my! Don't act innocent. It's totally normal for couples to do this kind of thing."

Elsa suddenly became as red as a tomato. Olga still believed Hans and her were married. She replied, stammering: "No… It's not like that… Nothing will happen…"

Olga's mouth dropped; she looked shocked. "You haven't done it yet?!" she uttered. Elsa glanced furtively at the door for she was anxious someone could hear them.

She tried to catch this up. "It's just… well, no…" She was staring at the floor. What lie could she make up? "I'm not ready," she finally said, hoping the innkeeper would change the subject.

Olga let out a "ah" of understanding. "He's respectful. These kinds of men are difficult to find these days," she added thoughtfully, "anyway, if you need some advice, I'm here for you." She winked again while tying the last ribbon in Elsa's hair.

"I don't dance," she firmly replied to him.

"Oh, come on! It's just for tonight," he insisted with supplicating eyes that didn't match his large mischievous smile.

"I can't dance," Elsa confessed, "or rather… I've never learned to dance." She has always been ashamed of it. A queen who couldn't dance?! One has never heard of such a thing! This was one of the reasons why she didn't like organizing receptions in her castle. She would eventually leave all the dances to Anna and spend the evening sitting at her table, alone, watching people twirling in front of her. It was too late for her to learn now.

"I'll teach you," he said, smiling encouragingly at her.

"No, it's not worth it," she replied, looking anxiously around her, wrapping her arms around herself.

Hans caught her eyes and sighed. "I know the reason why you don't want to dance," he came closer to her and gently stroked her cheek with his hand, "you're ashamed and you're scared people will judge you and mock you. But, look around you: no one here can dance and yet they're dancing anyway. And, no one here knows you're a queen. Come on, what happened to the beautiful woman who told me to let go of fear?"

He was right, she was scared of being judged. She glanced around her once again and saw that, indeed, nobody could dance. A smile appeared on her face as she looked back at Hans and she grabbed his hands. She would let go of fear. Lucky her, Hans knew what he was doing and skillfully led the dance. After a while, Elsa stopped and curled in his arms. "I'm feeling dizzy," she said.

"Let's sit down for a moment." Hans led her to the nearest bench and made her sit on it. He leaved for a while to come back holding cups in his hands. He sat next to her and said: "drink this, it will help you feel better." Hans handed her a cup and, while she drank the contents – which was sweet and made her suddenly feel much better – he was playing with the ribbons in her hair, and it irritated Elsa who glowered at him. He pouted a moment before getting up from the bench and disappearing again. Some time later, he came back with a small box in his hands he gave to Elsa who opened it up. Inside were silver snowflake shaped earrings. The same earrings she's been ogling at when they had looked around the stalls earlier. She thanked him and let him put them on her ears. She really was sublime.

People started to gather at the same place and it didn't take long before they heard the first firework burst. Hans helped Elsa rise up and they looked for a place from where they'd have a good view of the show. "The fireworks begin at the castle you see there then, once it's finished, it's the turn of all the surrounding cities and towns to throw their fireworks in the air at the same time," he explained to her. He used to love this festival when he was younger. He used to escape from the castle and take a ride with Sitron until he reached a hill from where he could contemplate the show as a whole. He was now excited about the fact that he could share this moment with someone. He grabbed her hand and stared at her for a moment: she was amazed by the fireworks, each of them more stunning than the one before. Soon, it was the turn of the cities and the villages to throw their fireworks. Elsa had the impression that the colorful lights were falling right on her with each burst of fireworks so, the first few times, she put her hands on her head as if to protect herself while Hans laughed and pulled her closer to him. Then, she became used to it and reveled in watching the show with the eyes of the child and a large smile on her lips.

Their first night together hadn't followed the fireworks festival. No. It happened about a couple of weeks later. Elsa had no longer been able to find sleep while lying next to Hans. Her body demanded more than strokes in her hair or chaste kisses on her forehead, therefore, she resolved to ask for advice from Olga. She hoped she would tell her how to behave for Hans to get the point about what she wanted. First, Olga encouraged her to purchase a new nightgown shorter than the one she already had. Much, much shorter. Then, she advised her to use essential oils as perfume and to make her hair more sensual. A sensual hairstyle? How did that look like? She would improvise in due time, she thought. That's how she ended up with large strands of hair escaping from the messy bun she had attempted to do.

When Hans entered the room, he didn't notice anything for it was dark and she was heavily wrapped in the blankets up to her neck, unable to move. She was like paralyzed by fear and yet Olga had told her she would take pleasure from this little game. He walked toward the bed and, lying down on it, paid her a compliment on how she smelled good before beginning to fall asleep. That's when she started kissing his neck, his jawline and then, his lips. He responded to her kiss and opened his eyes. "Whoa whoa, slow down… are you drunk or something?" he asked her, dazed and smirking at the same time. No. She couldn't have been more sober than she was right now. She lifted up and resumed kissing him passionately. His hands slid down to her waist and he moaned as she started to unbutton his shirt. She wasn't afraid anymore, she knew what she wanted. But Hans placed his hands on hers and asked her if she knew what she was doing; if she was aware of the fact that, if they went on, there would be no turning back; and finally if that was what she truly wanted. She nodded and torn out his shirt. Oh how he loved this confident and determined woman. She never knew how or even when, but he ended up on top of her, devouring her with kisses and inflicting her so many caresses. This time, she was the one moaning with pleasure.

They did it a couple of times before falling asleep, completely exhausted. Hans had tortured her with strokes and kisses literally for hours before giving her what she wanted. It was her first time ever, but the movements had seemed so instinctive to her. She could still feel his lips on her skin, his warm and panting breath, but especially the kisses he had covered her naked body with and that had left love bites almost everywhere.

In the morning, they were literally intertwined together. She woke up before him. He was still sleeping, lying on his back. She run her hand on his torso and came closer to him, replacing a strand of hair that had fallen on his eye before dropping light kisses along his jaw line. A smile appeared on his lips and she went on this way until he opened his eyes. Elsa was radiant, and her hair was a mess. "One more time?" she said with a mischievous glare. He grabbed her by her forearms and pulled her to him, capturing her lips with his mouth. It was not until the afternoon that they went down to eat their breakfast, clearly red-faced with embarrassment, under the amused gaze of Olga.

One evening, as they were about to sleep, Elsa asked him a question, or rather, asked him a favor she had in mind for a long time: "can you swim?" She could see he was staring at her with an amused look on his face thanks to the oil lamp set on the table next to the bed.

"Of course I can. I can do anything," he replied, almost boasting. "You can even say I'm perfect," he added putting on a smirk when he met her skeptical glance. He loved to brag just to see this look on her face.

"If that's the case, then I'd like you to teach me." Swimming was something she had always dreamt of doing but never had the possibility to experience. Even when she bathed, she would always end up freezing the water and it wasn't really possible to swim in frozen water. As a child, she used to watch from her window Anna playing in the lake with her parents, and she had always felt sad about not being able to join them. Hans nodded in approval. He would teach her how to swim in the river which ran through the village. She would easily be able to touch the bottom of the river with her feet for it wasn't too deep. "But, are you sure you can swim?" she teased him even though she already knew the answer having seen him swim to the shore that time when Anna punched him in the nose with such strength he had been projected overboard.

"Yes. Why?"

"I highly doubt it," she replied, mocking him.

Hans took offense of her comment. "Ah yes? What makes you think that way?" he asked her, still pouting.

"Well… to begin with, you're not that perfect…" She had spoken in a seductive voice full of innuendoes.

"Am I?" he replied, looking surprised and intrigued to know more about what she thought of him. He turned to face her, on a side lying position. "I'd certainly like to know what you could possibly reproach me with?"

She lifted up and ran her hand on his torso while saying: "you are… pretty. Lordly. Shrewd."

Hans smiled and replied, amused: "these are not flaws. On the contrary, these are qualities."

Elsa frowned at him, putting on a fake upset look. "I'm not done yet... Sometimes, you act really childishly."

"Pfff…" was all he found to retort.

She, however, didn't stop here. "And, you have a really poor sense of humor. Really," she said, looking at him playfully.

"Glad to hear it," he said ironically, yet believing her. He had never been skilled at making jokes for he never had an audience to hear him out. He gestured her to resume her description of him. It amused him all things considered.

"And… you snore at night…" Elsa looked serious this time.

"Wait, what?" he exclaimed, blinking his eyes several times, literally shaken by her remark. He snored at night? He had never noticed it. He stayed speechless for a moment, still shocked.

"It's true! I barely get some sleep!" she added as if to justify herself. She may have upset him but his confused look and his adorable rosy freckled cheeks entertained her so much.

Hans recovered from his emotion and smoothly slid a hand under her chin, getting dangerously closer to her. "Well, in that case…," he said, his face mere inches away from hers, "I guess I just have to make love to you so hard you'll fall asleep from exhaustion." He stared at her, a slight smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.

"Fair enough," she chuckled before capturing his lips with hers. The remedy to her insomnia would definitely please her.

Author's note: So Elsa finally got to dance! Hurray! And Hans snores at night... Don't know why I came up with this idea, but I guessed he needed to have a perceptible flaw... ^^

Also, Klamårr Day doesn't exist (or so I think), I invented it, but it is inspired by the Kalmar Union which happened from the 14th to the 16th century between Scandinavian countries, long before the story actually...

Hope you liked this chapter as much as I liked writing it :)