"Growth in love comes from a place of absence, where the imagination is left to it's own devices and creates you to be much more then reality would ever allow."

Coco J. Ginger

Looking at him did nothing but send sharp spikes of rage through me, pulsing beams of red hot anger that urged me to do nothing more than spit in his face. A childish reaction stemmed from hurt feelings. I waited patiently for him to acknowledge me as I stood just inside the threshold of his office - a neat square of space located almost exactly under my bedroom.

It only took a minute for him to put his pen down with a sigh, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose. "What, Toki?"

I stepped forward and placed my carefully written note before him. He skimmed it with tired eyes before scrutinizing my expression as if searching for something. If he found it or not I don't know. He simply shook his head and said, quietly, "We'll see." He leaned back in his chair. "If I see a major improvement… we'll see."

I left before he could change his mind.

My butt had gone numb a good twenty minutes ago and Noriko was staring me down with the intensity of a hungry predator. I ignored her, face buried in my knees, arms wrapped tight to keep in the warmth I'd managed to build up. It was a bit chilly in the mornings, but in a way I was thankful. The only way to hide my injury was to wear hoodies or jackets with hoods. I'd have to think of an alternative solution when the heat started to get too much. Turtlenecks? Collared shirts?

Anteiku was closed - I'd arrived too early, much to my chaperone's irritation. But I hadn't known for sure when they opened and I didn't want to give myself the opportunity to chicken out and miss him.

Kaneki, that is.

It had been a total of five days since Kaneki had found Anteiku and started working there. It had been approximately five days since Noriko had become my chaperone. It had been nearly two days since I had seen Hide last. It had been five days since Kaneki had spoken to me. More like six. In about eleven days I would be boarding a plane out of Tokyo.

If I didn't see Kaneki within those eleven days I would lose my freaking mind.

Because after that it would be a month without him. A month without the sun. I could just not go, I reasoned with myself. That is, if I wanted to give up the shelter and food I was being provided for free and hunted down by the police. Not to mention that the age of majority in Japan was 20. Toki was 17. 18? I think we might have missed a birthday. Elliott and Akane had complete legal control over my life. They would just call the cops on me and then I would be really restricted - Chaperone? No, more like I would be chained to my bed. I could hide out with Kaneki, but I didn't think he had enough money, not to mention that would be one of the first places the cops looked. I doubted I would survive long on the streets.

After all, an underaged girl out on her own in ghoul infested Tokyo? Yeah. Sounded perfectly safe.

It was beyond frustrating. I sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly through my nose. Kaneki would be fine. I would be fine. It would just suck major ass.

Maybe it would be good. This dependence that I had on him was rather ridiculous. I knew what was going to happen and he survived. I would be back in time before shit hit the fan.

I had to be.

I could just… not go. The thought returned and I began to nibble on my cuticles as my brain spun round and round.

There was a sparkle of hope in the terrible situation - a slim chance. I just had to do as they said. I had to 'improve'.

A chance was all I needed.

There was the click of a lock and a jingle of a bell, welcoming and familiar. I looked up over my shoulder to see Touka staring down at me. Her eyes were cold, distant, body stiff. After a moment of staring and a curious yet hateful glance towards Noriko, she jerked her head to beckon me inside.

I took just a second to stretch as I stood, back popping disconcertingly, and followed her into the dimly lit cafe. Noriko went to follow, and it was with something akin to pleasure that I shut the door in her face, locking it behind me with a cheerful waggle of my fingers. Noriko tugged on the door and scowled.

"Toki," she warned.

I typed out a message on my phone and held it against the window in the door for her to read. 'I need to talk to her privately for a minute or two. Wait here.'

"Toki, no -"

Ignoring her was practically instinct as I went deeper into the lion's den, noting the chairs just beginning to be taken off the tables and flipped right side up. Enji was behind the counter, a damp rag in his hand as he cleaned the wood. Irimi was beside him, polishing glasses. Both looked up as we entered the room.

No one said a word and my hands fisted in the pocket of my hoodie. Enji did not greet me as normal - he simply stared, hands frozen on the counter. Irimi did not nod sagely and continue with her polishing. She too stopped and stared. Touka glanced between the three of us and trotted on up the stairs with a small smirk gracing her features, leaving us to our solemn silence.

I sucked in a deep breath of air and stalked to the bar with false bravado, sticking out my chest and plopping into a seat. The man's face twisted as he attempted to refrain from showing his amusement. I typed a quick message and smacked it down on the wood between us, sliding it over with a finger.

'How many fingers does a girl got to chop off to get a white chocolate mocha around here?'

Enji dropped his face into his hands and made a choked, wheezing noise. Irimi peaked over his shoulder and, after staring for a good thirty seconds, turned around and walked out of the room. I think the noise was her laughing, but I couldn't really tell.

"Oh my God, Toki," Enji rasped, shoulders shaking as he chuckled. "You're such an idiot. Really? Really?"

I pulled my phone back to type out a response, giving a sour pout as I let him read it. 'What am I supposed to do? I'm trying to break the ice here.'

"You suck at breaking the ice."

'Bite me.'

"If the grapevine has been honest, which is normally is, someone has beaten me to it."

I slapped his hand where it lingered on the counter. 'Jealousy is an ugly look for you.'

He put his hands over his heart and pouted dramatically. "I can't help it, Toki! I don't like sharing my things." His wink was playful and my smile couldn't be dimmed as we bantered back and forth like normal. And it was like normal - as if I didn't know he was a ghoul, and he didn't know that I knew. He attempted to poke at my shoulder to which I again smacked his hands, resulting in a promise for an exceptionally bitter coffee. Irimi came back in after a couple of minutes, face clean of emotion as Enji leaned over the counter to invade my personal bubble.

"So," he drawled, a smile slowly creeping over his face. "I'm sure you've heard of the great Devil Ape?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I glanced at Irimi and decided to test the waters, replying, 'Only that he got his ass kicked a lot by the Black Dog.'

Enji gasped, affronted. "Not true! I am way stronger than her! Irimi, tell her."

The woman in question raised a brow, read the message on my phone, and cracked a small smile. "Hmm, I believe Toki has a good point." She sent me a wink as she returned a cup to its proper place on one of the shelves. I smiled in return. So it seemed like she wasn't going to eat me alive. Alright, two down.

"Mutiny," he scowled. "This is mutiny."

At that moment Touka returned. Her smirk melted as she assessed the situation and her hands balled into fist. "You're fine with her knowing?" she drawled, looking between her two coworkers. The three looked calmly at each other. I fidgeted in my seat and looked down at the bar. To my surprise it was Irimi who spoke first.

"Yoshimura trusts her. So will I." The fact that the moment Yoshimura stopped trusting me would be the moment she ended my life went unspoken, but I heard the message loud and clear.

Enji grinned and waved a hand. "Toki's cool. I don't know any chick who would let a ghoul take a bite out of her and not go running to the Doves."

I smiled. It wasn't necessarily something to be proud of, but proud I was.

Touka snarled and shot me a look full of anger and frustration. I did my best not to flinch, but they all probably heard the scratch of my nails on wood as I clutched at the bar. She kicked at a chair, which cracked from the force. Then she whirled around and back up the stairs. Irimi went after her.

I stared after them with dread infecting my pores, anxiety making itself known from the trembles that radiated through my chest. Despite the fact Enji waved the incident off with grace, I couldn't stand sitting there with a furious ghoul on the floor above me. I paid for a coffee for myself and Noriko, took Enji's reassurances that I wasn't going to die anytime soon, and exited the shop. The chaperone was mildly placated at the treat and reduced her lecture to a minute speech on manners.

I took off down the street, Kaneki forgotten, sipping at my coffee to hide the minute shakes.

I didn't need everyone to like me. I didn't have any illusions of being everyone's best friend. But having Touka after my throat wasn't how I wanted things to go.

To: Aibu Toki [aibutoki7 at gmail . com]

From: Kamon Masako [kamon . masako at cox . net]

Subject: California

Dear Toki,

I hear that you are going to California with your father. How exciting! I expect you to keep up with our conversations since we won't be able to meet in person. Your parents tell me that you enjoyed the States the last time you stayed with your aunt and they hope this will help. I must say I agree, but you need to be accepting of change.

Keep your chin up. It will be hard, but I know you can do it! Just remember to try. You parents love you and this is what is best for you. Just remember your manners, and don't forget what I told you about respect. It will take you a long way.

Sincerely,

Dr. Kamon

To: Kamon Masako [kamon . masako at cox . net]

From: Aibu Toki [aibutoki7 at gmail . com]

Subject: RE: California

Dr. Kamon,

Hey, would you prefer to be burned alive or just asphyxiated? Both methods are quite clean, I swear. I've done some research into the matter and it will be as if you never existed.

Sincerely,

Aibu Toki

The page was a mismatched collection of random things - people, trees, animals. In the center was my current project, a profile of Kaneki. I was trying to recreate a wallpaper I had seen a lifetime ago and found myself struggling. His kagune wasn't quite right. I had never seen it for real, only the manga, anime, and fanart representations. Who knew whether or not any of them would match up? Some drew them slim and smooth, others thick and scaled. Perhaps it was all and none? I had seen Touka's kagune, a wonderful mirage of color, but so fantastic that no art could fully portray it. I couldn't help but imagine how Kaneki's would look.

If he ever talked to me again.

As the thought crossed my mind I checked my phone to see if he had responded to any of my multiple text messages. He hadn't - but I had a text from Hide, a silly emoticon of a cat cooking bacon. My lips quirked into a grin and I found myself doodling it in the margin with Hide's hair. After a moment of contemplation I gave it an eyepatch.

There.

It was hidekane in a nutshell.

I snorted, drawing Noriko's attention away from her phone. Upon seeing that I hadn't moved and wasn't doing anything obviously suspicious she settled back against the bench, fingers tapping away at the screen. I drew a heart around the cat and went back to my sketch. The only thing I really liked about it was how I had drawn the arch of his back and the curve of his jaw as he glanced over his shoulder. His hair was decent. His hands were totally wrong.

I pulled and stretched my kneaded eraser as I frowned at the image. I had made a lot of progress and could say I was almost at Toki's level - but I found that I was still never happy with the result of my work. Practice was key and I told myself that every time I wanted to shred a piece into fragments. I pulled my scarf up over my mouth and blew a gust of hot air into the fabric, finding comfort in the heat that spread across my cheeks.

Art really… it was helpful, despite how I struggled with it. It was a pleasant distraction from reality, from how crappy life was.

Nope, I thought to myself, dragging my pencil across the page before erasing half of the line where it had gone astray. Not gonna think about it. Not gonna think about anything except how to draw these Goddamn hands -

"Toki," Noriko called, rising from the bench. "Are you ready to go?"

I lifted my head, pulling my bangs from my eyes and, after glancing about at the brightly lit and mostly empty park, nodded.

"I'm going to go get the car." She stalked off, already putting her phone to her ear. Given her current job, she'd been having issues with her boyfriend. Her going to get the car was more an excuse to call him up and have another argument - except this time where I couldn't hear it.

I dropped my eraser to hold my hand up to the light, thumb crossing over my ring finger as if I were cracking my knuckles Jason style. It didn't quite look right. Kaneki's hands were larger, and I couldn't quite figure out where the hell my pinky was supposed to go. I scribbled down another rough sketch and found myself pleased with the result regardless. It would turn to shit again as soon as I added details, though.

He could have been standing above me for an hour and I wouldn't have noticed - it was only after he spoke that I realized he had been there at all.

"I didn't know you could draw," Uta hummed. I jumped with a small squeak, immediately clutching my book to my chest and looking up. He hovered above me with a sly grin on his face, sunglasses firmly in place.

Drat.

I heaved a sigh (I couldn't think of anything at the moment that would make him leave) and patted the grass next to me. The ghoul plopped down beside me with grace that made me envious - but the bag he carried with him distracted me and I pointed to it curiously.

"Making a delivery," he hummed. "Do you want to see it?"

I gave a nod after a moment. I wondered if it was Kaneki's mask - I had no idea when it was, but the chance that it might be his was too great a temptation. The ghoul dug around in the bag for a second before pulling out a wrapped parcel, making quick work of the paper and holding up his masterpiece for me to see.

It was a clown.

I was hyper aware of the fact he was studying my expression, but I couldn't help the distaste that filtered through my features. There were two reasons for the semi-extreme reaction. The first was obvious. Uta was a member, if not the leader, of the Clowns. A ghoul organization that loved to laugh at the misfortune of others and generally stick their nose where it doesn't belong. Knowing Uta, this could be an elaborate test to see if I knew about him or the clowns and then he would kill me somehow. Unlikely, but possible. I wouldn't be too surprised.

The second reason - I fucking hated clowns. They were terrifying. Oh, yes, please laugh, but they were traumatizing. I first saw Stephen King's It when I was 9 and I had never looked at clowns the same way again. They were fine at a distance but if they got within arms reach I was booking it in the other direction.

I flipped to a clean page in my sketchbook, careful to keep the profile of Kaneki hidden, and wrote, 'Clowns are fucking creepy.'

He laughed. Good sign.

"Do you think so? I think that means I achieved my goal." He flipped the mask in his hands and stared intently at the material. "The customer wanted something a bit on the scary side." The small smile on his face was cute. It bothered me.

'So what are you doing here? A bit far from the studio.' As an afterthought I added, 'Are you stalking me?'

Another laugh. Damn, I was good at this 'making the villain laugh' thing. "No," he replied, "I have a delivery nearby. I thought I recognized you and wanted to stop by and say hello." Uta wrapped the mask back up and slipped it into his bag before leaning back on his hands with a sigh. "What about you?"

'Avoiding life and all its responsibilities,' I wrote. Then I frowned. 'It isn't working.'

"Hmm, avoiding the problem tends to make things worse."

'Nobody asked you.'

A grin. "No, you didn't." He didn't return the sketchbook for me to write, instead flipping to a page that was (thankfully) blank. He dragged the pencil across the page absently, a form slowly coming into shape. A head. Eyes. Lips. Nose. I leaned closer and pointedly ignored the heat he put off as our arms touched, instead focusing on the fact that he was effortlessly creating a portrait without using the eraser once.

That motherfucker.

I reached over to tilt the sketchbook so I could see better, causing a chuckle from the man beside me. "I could teach you, if you want," he offered.

I rolled my eyes, snatching the pencil and scribbling, 'You can't teach someone how to draw. It's about practice.'

Uta's response was typical and in character, a twitch of his lips into a smirk before purring, "Or can you?"

'You just want me to visit HySy again.'

"Perhaps."

A horn honked and we jerked away from each other to peer at the road. Noriko waved and I waggled my fingers in acknowledgement. I grabbed my bag and stood, holding out a hand for Uta to take. He did, and I struggled to pull him up to his feet - he was twice my size. I nabbed my sketchbook back in the process. 'Maybe I will. Later.'

He tilted his head to the side and leaned against the tree. His bangs looked a little longer than the last I had seen them - my fingers itched and I clenched them into a fist. "You keep saying later, but so far you haven't kept your word. Will there really be a later?"

What a sly dog. I couldn't think of any reason as to why he would want to see me, a human, a plain Jane nobody. I stared at him hard, debating, reasoning, thinking, weighing the risks - before setting my stuff down and unwrapping my scarf. The fabric was soft and warm from use, the color a mesh of grey and black. I stepped forward and looped it around his neck once, twice, before tucking in the ends. He watched me from behind his sunglasses and if I looked hard enough maybe I could see the gleam of red. I picked my sketchbook back up, scribbled my message, and held it out for him to see.

'I like that scarf. I'll come back for it.'

I didn't linger to see his expression, or hear his response - my cheeks were too hot and it felt as though my stomach had just dropped through a black hole and was now drifting the cosmos. I practically leaped into the vehicle, going to pull my scarf up to cover my face only to realize that Uta now had it. And I really did like that scarf. Fuck.

Noriko slipped easily into the driver's seat, glancing at me from the corner of her eye. "Who was that?" she asked, acting discrete as she put the car into gear. I ignored her, turning sideways in the seat to stare out the window. She shook her head and pulled away from the curb with a muttered, "You always find the weird ones."

I took her question and twisted it in my mind, flipping it over and under as I debated and pondered. I tried to find an answer that satisfied my fatal curiosity.

He was a distraction.

To: Aibu Toki [aibutoki7 at gmail . com]

From: Kamon Masako [kamon . masako at cox . net]

Subject: RE: RE: California

Toki,

Your attempt at humor once again fails to take. It is incredibly immature to speak of death in such a manner, let alone threaten to kill someone, no matter how 'clean' it is. Your interest in death is very concerning. It isn't healthy to focus on it with such relish, and we will discuss it more at your next session.

Sincerely,

Dr. Kamon

To: Kamon Masako [kamon . masako at cox . net]

From: Aibu Toki [aibutoki7 at gmail . com]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: California

Burned alive it is.

Sincerely,

Aibu Toki

I met the CCG's Jason unexpectedly and not quite how you would think.

He didn't weigh all that much, but when we collided it was with enough force to knock us both on our asses. Despite all future claims that it was purely an accident and in no way on purpose, I hadn't missed the flash of one of his many blades. "Ow," he sang.

I stared at him curiously, noting the fine white hair in a disarray, a couple of red bobby pins keeping haphazard strands of his hair away from his face. His suit jacket was oversized, matching the equally large white button up beneath it. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, exposing lean arms, one with red stitches all the way up to his ring finger. I focused on his face. Large eyes popped out from pale skin, the red stitches in his lip and under his eye a bright contrast, matching the thread in his arm. He was feminine for sure; if I hadn't known any better I would have thought he was a girl at first.

But I knew better.

"That hurt!" he hummed, though I knew for a fact he hadn't felt a thing. "I'm all cut up! You need to help me now." He shoved his bleeding hand in my face, a line slanting across his palm. It bled red rapidly and dripped onto the cement beneath us. He cut too deep, I thought vacantly with a tilt of my head, still absorbing who exactly had just rammed into me on the sidewalk. Was this even real? Was I dreaming? I looked down and absently tugged on the skin of my stomach through my shirt. It seemed real enough.

"Toki!" Noriko jogged up to my side, kneeling beside me to look me over. "Are you alright?" She shot the boy a nasty glare.

He pushed his hand forward further, wagging the fingers. "I'm hurt," he repeated. "You have to help me. Please apologize right away."

"You ran into her - I saw. You're the one who owes the apology."

"You're rude. You should apologize too."

Noriko bristled. "You should show some respect for your elders," she scolded.

He stared at her for a moment before smiling brightly. "You are definitely my elder."

"You - !"

They went back and forth like that for a few seconds and I blew my bangs out of my face, scratching at my cheek aimlessly. His voice was masculine, but the way he spoke with almost feminine lilts and tones was a bit confusing. He wasn't using any honorifics either which was probably one of the reasons Noriko was so upset, besides the fact she was always spoiling for a fight.

She had dropped our shopping bags as she'd approached. I had wanted a new pair of boots, an(other) expensive distraction from real life.

It had been a week, seven days, since Kaneki had started working at Anteiku. It had been approximately seven days since Noriko started babysitting me, six if you don't count the day she had off. It had been a bit over four days since I had seen Hide last, though he had texted me the other day about visiting the shop together. It had between seven and eight days since I had heard from Kaneki. I had seen Uta yesterday. In about nine days I would be boarding a plane headed for California.

I had wanted to talk to Kaneki, not meet Suzuya of all people. I hadn't planned on meeting him at all to be honest. He was an adorable character and for sure one of my favorites. He was also unstable and unpredictable. He'd sucked a cop's eardrum out because he wouldn't apologize. Suzuya was up there with Uta on the badass scale.

The vague idea of what it must have felt like to be removed with something belonging in your skull made me shiver.

As interesting as it was to watch Noriko and the ghoul investigator duke it out I was sitting on my ass with blood dripping from Suzuya's hand all over my converse, not to mention the daunting fact he could snap at any second and do something terrible (though probably super cool). My legs ached as I got to my feet and brushed the dust off. I reached my hand out, gaining both of their attention, and waved it about.

"No," he said with a pout. "I'm hurt."

I shook my head and wagged my fingers again. "She wants you to grab her hand," Noriko stated with an air of authority, pushing herself up to her feet. She brushed at her pencil skirt and crossed her arms.

"Oh," he said, and put his hand in mine. It was his bloody hand, which didn't seem odd to him but felt warm and wet on my skin. I could feel the pulse of his blood between our palms as I pulled him up to his feet. I stared at my bloody hand when I let go, wondering how many insane fanatics would buy it if I bottled it up and sold it on ebay.

"Well, we need to be going now." Noriko smiled and began to pull me away, offering me her handkerchief. I took it and started to clean between my fingers.

Suzuya stepped in front of us. "But I'm hurt," he whined. "You have to help me now."

"And how are we suppose to do that?" Noriko was exasperated, hand going to her hip. "Go to the hospital or the ER."

"I don't have enough money to go to the hospital."

"Well, how much would you need then?" She was getting impatient, tapping a staccato rhythm on the concrete. All she wanted was to get him out of here.

The answer was prompt. "10,000 yen," he said cheerfully.

Noriko began an outraged rant, telling off the youth for being rude and deluded while I mentally converted. That was about… 85 dollars? A bit expensive, yeah. But I rather pay him than have him suck out my eardrum. I pulled out my phone to type him a message, holding it out for him to read. 'You should go to the ER, unless you can stitch it yourself.'

It took a second for him to notice it, and when he did he came close enough to kiss the screen. Large eyes blinked at me. After a moment of tense contemplation he grinned and patted my head. "You're short, like me. We're the same height!"

I nodded, noting that he was right - we were at eye level with each other, though his hair added a centimeter or two.

God this experience was trippy. All we needed now was -

"Juuzou!"

- Shinohara.

The teen stiffened and adopted something resembling a smile. He twirled about on his heels and waved at the oncoming CCG officer. "Mr. Shinohara," he laughed. "You found me!"

The investigator came to a stop and put his hands on his knees, taking in a few gusts of air. "I'm so terribly sorry, ladies," he started. "I hope he hasn't been causing any trouble." He shot a look at Suzuya who simply whistled, looking off in the opposite direction. I thought that he might have been pouting.

Shinohara was exactly how the manga depicted - formidable, a bit intimidating, but his face was kind. A large chin with a square jaw, hair closely cropped along the sides of his head. Goatee. A black suite with a red tie completed the image. He was tall; I craned my head back to observe him clearly, blowing my bangs from my face with a small breath.

Wow.

This really must be a dream.

My chaperone, upon seeing a figure resembling something of authority, straightened. "Why, actually -" she started, only to pause abruptly, leaning forward with narrowed eyes. "Shino... hara?" She inquired.

The man furrowed his brows. "Yes? Do I know you?"

I turned to Noriko with a curious frown. Yes, you inconvenient stalker of mine, do you happen to know this hunk of a plot device?

The woman suddenly smiled, white teeth bright in the sunlight as her hand shot out to shake. "Mr. Shinohara, it's Takahashi Noriko. We worked on the Red Scorpion case together."

They what?!

It was like a light bulb went off in the man's head for he eagerly took her hand with a large grin. "Noriko! Wow, it's been… what, two years? How have you been?"

She was practically glowing. "I've been good! How about yourself? How are the wife and kids?"

"Good, good! Still got the same boyfriend or have you gone and snagged another poor sap?"

"Oh, you flatter me. Still the same guy."

I looked back and forth between them as they chatted away like birds, chirping and tweeting as they gushed over each other. Unbelievable - this was unfucking believable.

My chaperone knew Shinohara. This really was a dream.

No, I was fucking tripping.

Suzuya was looking more than a little irritated. He glanced periodically between his palm and Shinohara as if irked that the attention of his mentor had shifted. I mimicked his expression before deciding it probably looked a lot cuter on the other teen. I looked back to Noriko. She was just pleased as punch - You would have thought she had won the lottery meeting up with Shinohara again.

It was difficult to imagine the woman as an investigator, which apparently she had been.

God, this was insane!

I interrupted with a neatly typed message on my phone, handing the device to my chaperone with a suspicious glance towards the investigator. As much as I liked him I was on Team Ghoul. Kind of.

"How rude of me!" Noriko chimed with a laugh. "This is my charge, Aibu Toki. I'm her bodyguard, of sorts."

I sniffed. Chaperone sounded much more degrading to me.

Shinohara seemed surprised by the information, eyebrows going up on his forehead. "Bodyguard? But I thought you…?"

The woman sobered, fidgeting with the buttons on her shirt. "Oh, yeah, I… well, I decided to go through with the surgery." She eased the tension a bit with a careless laugh. "I'll never be at my prime again but this is much easier than being an investigator."

"The scars…?"

"Not as bad as they said they would be. They just ache a bit when it's cold."

The man smiled, as if relieved. "I'm glad," he murmured. Suddenly he brightened, his gaze unwavering as he focused on me. I suddenly felt very small. "Ah, forgive me! My name is Shinohara Yukinori, Special Class Investigator with the CCG. This here," he continued, with a gesture towards the disgruntled Suzuya, "Is Suzuya Juuzou, Rank Three Investigator." He gave a short bow and, with some encouraging, Suzuya dipped his head.

"Hello," he sang, but the voice was full of obvious disdain. He almost seemed bored now.

Noriko crossed her arms. "Oh really," she drawled. "What a tune you're singing now."

Shinohara frowned. "Suzuya, have you been causing trouble again?" He bowed and Noriko and I, together, fidgeted like we'd seen something weird. Which, seeing such a hulking man bow, was. Weird, that is. Combined with the fact that Noriko had been an investigator, had worked with Shinohara, and had apparently received life threatening injuries that ended her career suddenly being revealed like a bad soap opera, all I wanted was to sit down and put my head between my knees. "Please, allow me to get you guys some coffee as reparations for whatever he may have done."

"No, no, that isn't necessary," she panicked, waving her hands. Who was singing a different tune now? "Really, they just bumped into each other -"

"I insist."

And that was how I found myself squished into a small booth of a nearby cafe, our bags reclaimed and at our feet from where they had been dropped, watching Suzuya fiddle with his utensils instead of sipping the steaming drink in front of him while Noriko and Shinohara caught up.

It wasn't the weirdest thing I'd seen or done since coming here, but it was pretty damn close.

I tuned the adults out in exchange for doodling in my sketchbook, attempting to catch the bags beneath Suzuya's eyes without making him look like the dead. His eyes were really round, the color changing between red and black, his skin so pale that sometimes his hair faded away into the flesh. It was interesting to attempt to draw and attempt I did - the results weren't quite what I wanted.

I was a bit preoccupied with the ex-investigator sitting beside me, happily chatting over her cup of coffee.

It wasn't even good coffee - Shinohara obviously hadn't been to Anteiku yet.

I tried to figure out how this new information would impact me. Given how surprised she was to see an old comrade, I was assuming that she didn't keep in touch with old contacts. Beneficial, since if she did suspect something she might not be able to tell anyone. The key was to keep her from being suspicious at all, however difficult that may be. I was careful to keep distant from the woman but she was following me around every day - perhaps I let something slip on accident. Maybe she went through my things?

After about half an hour of conversing Noriko got a phone call from Akane, requesting my (and by proxy, her) presence.

"I'm so very sorry," she apologized, rising from the booth. I slowly began to rip out the page I had been working on. "Duty calls."

Shinohara smiled, also rising from his seat to shake her hand once again. "No problem - we'll have to catch up some other time."

I pulled off all the end bits until the edge was clean and slid the piece of paper across the table to Suzuya. He blinked at the page and picked it up with his fingertips, studying his likeness. The adults were still chattering away, unaware of our interaction, which was exactly how I liked it. I slid out of the booth and started towards the exit, too embarrassed to stick around and see how he reacted.

I told myself it was because, without prompting, Noriko wouldn't leave on her own.

Sure enough she went scuttling after me, and it was as we went outside into the sunlight, my chaperone whining in my ear about a sweet reunion, that I breathed out a sigh of relief. No one was dead. The plot probably hadn't changed. In fact, this might work to my advantage.

Most importantly, I mused, looking down at the bags in my hand, I had gotten my new boots.

I swallowed a small shriek when the skin of my knuckles finally broke against the wood of the door. The fingers jerked sporadically before curling slightly, the position that hurt the least. He wouldn't open the door.

I know that he's here.

He had to be.

I switched hands, knocking again before smacking it with my palm. The hour had passed from late to early and he still hadn't answered the door. I swallowed a sob, somehow managing to contain my anger and sadness to a small sniffle. One more smack before I slid down to the ground, silently pleading, praying, that he would open the door.

He didn't.

It had been eight days since Kaneki had joined at Anteiku. It had been over eight days since I had heard from Kaneki - heard his voice, heard his breathing. I would be gone in eight days.

Hide found me by some kind of magic. He crouched before me, a somber smile on his lips, his hands gentle on my arms as he coaxed me to my feet. He led me away and I found myself on the handlebars of his bike, wind rushing through my hair and pushing my tears down my cheeks and neck. He never said a word - he didn't have to. I could feel his hands on my hips to balance me, the occasional warmth of his breath against my back when he panted.

Hide took me home. His goodbye was a sweet peck on my cheek and a salute, his figure standing by as he waited for me to go into the house. I got upstairs and fell into my bed with no trouble.

The trouble came in the morning, when blue eyes studied my raw knuckles and took in the clothes from the day before. Elliott, Toki's father, shook his head as he left my room.

"Be ready to leave. We have seven days."

Hey guys!

Sorry about that wait. School has started up and it took a lot out of me to get ready for it. Sophomore year of college, anybody? I'm so ecstatic to see so many of you guys reviewing and favoriting, and please don't feel shy to send me a message! I love to hear from you guys, your thoughts, your predictions. I might not always respond because I'm a terrible human being but I squeal every time I see an email pop up on my screen.

School has started, so I can't guarantee fast updates. I'll do my best for you guys though. If not fast than I'll do my best to make them long - like this one. God, this beast is 16 full pages. That's insane! I really hope you guys like it. Tell me what parts were your favorite, what surprised you, what you would have done, etc. I wanna hear it all~

Oh! Also! I made a deviantart account so I could upload the drawings I do of Toki & co. I only have two up right now, but you guys should go check it out! I'll put a link in my profile, but I'll put on here as well. Just take out the spaces.

phantumhive . deviantart . com

Hope you guys like the chapter!

Lotsa Love,

Calloniel