I really enjoyed writing 'Dean's Confession' I really hope you like it too! I can totally imagine Dean saying it! Tell me what you think :D

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Dean turned up at Bobby's house the day after the phone call. He was tentative about including those two in his plan, convinced that they would could cause more trouble than they were worth, or worse try to stop him. But he knew that if they tried, he would just leave. He reached into the back seat for the file and film reel, took a swig from his hipflask and opened the car door. He walked into the house without knocking and made his way to the kitchen.

'Hey Sammy.' He growled 'Come on then, lefts do this thing.'

They spread out the files on the table

'So it turns out father Thompson recorded most of his experiments. This one here is the last one, two days before he died.' Said Sam.

They turned on the recorder and Father Thomas's voice boomed out of it.

August 3rd 1968 trial 19

Hour one, my subject is Peter Kent. Mr Kent is the father of two young sons, and three weeks ago, he was possessed by a demon, I'm going to ask you a question now. When you crawled into Mr Kent and ate his children, how did it feel?

Orgasmic

The first dose has been administered

'What was that scream?' Bobby asked.

'Well, according to the note, the Padre was dosing Kent with his own purified blood…umm tasty.' Said Dean looking up from the notes.

'Purified how?' Replied Sam.

'Well according to his notes, Father Thompson went to confession before he started.'

'Huh.'

Trial 19 Hour 2, when you ate Mr Kent's children, how did it feel?

Stringy!

The second dose, has been administered Hour 4

When you ate his children -

Kiss my ass!

How did it feel?

Soft. Aaaah!

The sixth dose has been administered

Stop.

How...Please...did it...feel?

Stop!

Hour 8, the subject is prepped.

Exorcizamus te,omnis immundus spiritus.

Hanc animam redintegra,

lustra! Lustra!

When you ate his children, how did it feel?

They were screaming...and I laughed. Why did I laugh? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. God, I was a monster.

But now you are a man again. And you have been saved.

The tape stopped. Sam Dean and Bobby turned to each other.

'Did he…I mean, did he just cure…a demon?' Said Sam slowly.

'It would seem so,' Said Bobby. 'We should take this puppy for a test drive.'

'Well, I've got the exorcism right here, all we need is purified blood and a devils trap,'said Sam, looking over Deans shoulder.

'No wait, we have to summon Castiel. We can't have him finding out what we can do. We need to act now. Before Crowley finds out and hides him from us.'

'I don't know dean,' replied Sam looking concerned, 'we don't even know if this really works, especially on an angel. What happens if something goes wrong?'

'Well if it does, it does. Better dead than a demon right?'

Sam and Bobby looked at each other, Dean could see the silent communication going on between them. But there was no point arguing with him. Dean didn't care what either of them said, he was going to summon Castiel as soon as he possibly could.

'Ok,' Sam said simply. 'Ok Dean, if that's what you want. You'd better er…Go to confession then?'

'Yeah, ok Sam. I'll be back later.'

Dean pushed himself of his chair and walked back out of the room. He walked, maybe a mile or so, out in to the middle of nowhere, until he was sure that no one could over hear him. He sat with his back against a wall and closed his eyes.

'Look, God. I don't know how this thing is supposed to go. I've done some bad shit. You might even think too much to be sorry for. Too much to even try and confess to. I am a bad man. I hurt people, I maime people, I kill people, all in the name of duty, in thinking that the few that I can't save will make up for the fact that I have saved hundreds. But can that be justified? Can killing a demon justify killing the human they are possessing? I do it, and don't ever feel bad about that human. That soul that I rip out of its body. Does it go to heaven, hell, I don't care, and I know I should. I know that it makes me a monster because of it. All those souls that I tortured in Hell. I could have stayed on the rack with all the other poor souls, but I chose to become the torturer. I didn't care who they put in front of me, I just sliced and sliced, and the pain that I felt just went away, because it wasn't me who was hurting anymore, it was them…And then I was saved, Castiel saved me from Hell. I didn't belong in this world anymore. I didn't deserve to be here. Then Lucifer rose. I blamed Sam, but I was the one who knocked over the first domino. I was the one to blame for…everything. And I am sorry. I truly am, and I know I am confessing for a completely selfish reason... I want Castiel back. I want him to look at me the way he used to. As his friend. As the one human in the whole world that he can depend on. I am a murder. And God, you know it. You may not care the way your earth is going, you may not lift a damn finger to help the poor sons of bitches who fight every day to keep people safe. But I do. I am a murderer, but I am also a saviour. And in my own twisted mind, that is ok. I risk my life every day to help strangers. I have saved the world a couple of times and no one will ever know it…I don't want a thank you, not from you, not from anyone. I just want you to know that I will carry on, I will fight till the end. I will take my last breath on the battlefield, whether I go to heaven or hell. I will be at peace with that because it was my decision to make. All I want in return is a chance to save Castiel. You sent him to hell, you would have let him rot away in the pit, and I know this. But he was my family. And I will do anything to save my family.'

Dean stopped, and wiped the tears away from his eyes.

'Is that enough God? Am I now pure? With all the hate pumping through my alcohol soaked veins. Can I really say that I am purified? Am I forgiven now I have confessed what has been eating away at my insides for so long? Am I worthy to go to heaven when I die? Or will I go back to hell where I belong to suffer for eternity, and eventually become the evil I have spent my whole like fighting?'

Dean opened his eyes, brushed the last few tears from his cheeks.

'Well,' he said to himself, 'only one way of knowing. Castiel, where ever you are…I'm coming to get you.'

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Thanks for reading! Till next time...