Ch9

R-running away from you? Me?

Hey so my sister is showing me this musical thing called 'The Dolls of New Albion a steam punk opera' the music reminds me of the music from the anime Pandora Hearts. It looks super interesting. Anyway onward we go, this chapter I hope will turn out to be cute like I intend for it to, please review! Shout out to: Blue note blue, WarFlower, Snowlily246 (who needs to PM me because I miss talking to her!), Lavendor Queen, gothicprincess982, and both the guests who gave reviews for this story!

Mira stared up at her bedroom ceiling; she couldn't get her mind off what had happened the other day no matter how hard she tried although she wasn't trying very hard. Sighing she shut her eyes the sun casting a warm orange glow on her lids. Outside everyone else seemed to think today was wonderful, and it was it was perfect weather out with a nice breeze blowing through, the birds were chirping happily everywhere you looked and the sun was brilliant and clear in the sky. Despite it all Mira felt as though a dark cloud was above her refusing to go away.

Even now so many years later Mira could still see Gaara's face clearly. His big sea foam green eyes, his soft and hesitant smile he always wore when he was happy, his tear ridden face… Mira was honestly not sure what to do at this point, he hated her but as much as she understood it she couldn't help but feel it wasn't fair. Also as much as she wanted to go and fix it she couldn't, she had a life here. She couldn't even blame her father for it, it was an order, and he did send the letters, and he was her father. He treated her better than any adult had ever treated her, she just couldn't bring herself to hate him for that.

Mira rolled over until her face was burried in the pillow and then groaned into it. After a second she started hitting the bed and spastically flapping her legs up and down before letting them fall back into place lazily. Pushing her body up Mira sat back on her ankles and looked around her. Her room was a very comfortable place. The walls were white with intricate designs covering it in deep red; her bed was a deep red queen size bed with little splashes of gold giving it a royal feel. She had pictures hung above her bed of her friends, her father and on, a night stand by her bed held a single photo of herself and Gaara, a clock beside it reading the time 10:06, and a vase with tulips in it. By the door there was a desk with all her scrolls and such and her dresser stood on the left by her door. Her eyes refocused on the picture on her night stand. Leaning forward she picked it up and held it in front of her; she leant back on her ankles staring at it.

She traced her finger around the young Gaara as tears began to pool in the corner of her eyes. Why? Why did it have to turn out like this? Why? The tears streamed down her face and she didn't fight them. Her hand fell to the bed the picture still held tightly in her grasp and her head hung low her hand over her mouth as she began to audibly ball.

Outside Mira's door Gray stood leaning against the wall, his head hung low and his eyes were closed as he listened to Mira's crying. He winced each time he heard her choke on her tears and fisted his hands as if wishing he could beat her problems away. His shoulders slumped forward as he thought of how useless he was. He was partially the reason for her tears, he had hurt her by letting her trust him and then lying to her. Slowly he realized his body was shaking, that tears were silently pouring from his eyes. Useless he repeated to himself over and over again. After another minute of this he pushed himself off the wall and walked away his hands in his pockets and his shoulders still slumped forward, though his tears had stopped. Sighing he decided there was no avoiding it, life had to continue, soon even Mira would have to push past the pain and stand in the light of day.

While Gray went to cook breakfast Mira remained in her room coming to face many decisions of her own. Her tears were drying on her face now, her eyes were red and her body shook slightly. Slowly she raised her head and stared at the pictures on the wall. Why? It had an obvious answer, to gain these wonderful people and wonderful memories she had to leave Gaara. A trade, one that she could not change, that was forever going to remain the same. Gaara was officially a memory, completely out of reach and not hers to see. Yet, these people, they were hers. She could love them and hug them all she wanted. They were her beloved family all of them, and she wouldn't give them up for anything. She simply couldn't. However, sitting here, falling out of touch with reality wasn't that the same thing, she was leaving them this way as well. She lowered her head in shame. Reality does not wait for you to embrace it, should you choose not to accept it reality would leave you behind without looking back.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, to her friends for what she had done, and to Gaara for what she was about to do. With visibly hardened eyes she stood up and carried the picture with her. She left her bedroom and made her way up to the attic where Gray kept the few things they'd accumulated over the years but didn't need out all the time, the room was lit only by the window it had in the far wall emitting outside light. Carefully she made her way around the boxes and to a corner in the back where she had asked Gray to put her letters to Gaara the night before. She knelt down in front of it and pulled it open, she brushed her hand lightly over the content of the box with a sad expression as she thought of all the wasted time, all the painful nights. Taking a deep breath she put the picture in the box frame and all. She stared into the box for a moment before closing up the box as quickly as she could. Standing she turned away and hugged her arms as she left the attic. Closing the door she felt as if a part of her was being sealed inside the attic, away from her.

After that she put on a determined expression and got ready for the day, taking a shower and getting dressed. She sung softly to herself as she worked wishing her abilities worked on her own mind, unfortunately this was not the case. When she got down stairs she smelt breakfast, it was a western breakfast Gray had prepared. Eggs, bacon, and pancakes, it smelt delicious and she couldn't wait to eat it. A small smile formed on Mira's face as she started down the steps. The smile was different from the one she once wore, but with time her smile would return to normal, she hoped.

"Hey pumpkin" Gray exclaimed sitting at the table, his plate was filled and he had a book in his hand and a fork in the other.

"I smelt food" she said with a wink before helping herself to the food on the table excitedly. Gray watched her quietly debating whether or not to bring it up. Mira could feel his stare and she sat back with a sigh and looked at him.

"I'm better, not good, not even okay, but I'm better. At some point I'll be okay, so just…help me keep going?" she asked lowering her head so that her hair fell in her face. Gray didn't say a word; he simply nodded and let it go. He began reading his book for a minute then looked back at her.

"What are your plans for today?"

"Ah, I wanted to hit the bookstore and then in the afternoon Sakura, Ino, and I were going to hang out." Mira told him with a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. Spending time with her friends was always an adventure for her, often she found a night out with the girls would turn into a night where we conveniently find our friends as we travel through town and then spend the next several hours laughing and spending our money. Though she never mentioned anything about the boys to her father who seemed to think she was going to suddenly run off and marry one of them.

"Okay, but don't stay out too late, Kakashi is coming over tonight for dinner again."

"Oh?" A dark and curious look overcame her face as she leant he head on her hand facing her father, "does this mean he's going to mooch off of us whenever he's not on a mission?"

Gray gave a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck smiling "probably." The rest of breakfast was fairly quiet, Gray reading his book and Mira reflected on a certain group member. Gray was a little suspicious of the constant blush that rose to his nine year old daughters cheeks, but he didn't say anything since he felt she might give him the silent treatment which she had done to him last time he'd asked about something similar. Mira was generally a sweet girl who had fun and made many friends but when angered she seemed to switch personalities. Her glare was utterly terrifying and her silent treatment made you wish she would just scream at you. She'll make a wonderful mother someday he thought.

After breakfast was finished Mira brushed her teeth then made her way to the bookstore enjoying the perfect weather and the fact that she had today and tomorrow off from school, as she passed by people called out greetings to her and other people on the street and Mira smiled brightly at the simplicity of her life, the calmness of the village, and the friendliness of those around her. The air smelt of many different meals being prepared and served as well as the flowery sent she smelt as she passed the floral shop Ino's family owned, the smell of the wind even. It all felt perfectly serene.

In the book store it was quiet as she searched the rows of fiction for the book. She loved the book store; it held the scent of books both old and new and was always quiet, in a comfortable way. The owner was really sweet as was his son who often ran the store for him part time. His son was named Shiru, he was about sixteen and very friendly, he often talked with Mira when she came as they had similar taste in stories. His little brother was in her class actually his name was Lazu, Lazu was very quiet and generally kept to himself though Mira was certain that wasn't really true because when she'd said as much to Shiru he'd given her a funny look like she was daft or something. Either way she was curious what Lazu's personality truly was and also she wanted to read the next book in her series. The book that she was looking for however, was playing a good game of hide and seek, and she was not losing gracefully. Sighing she started down the next row in annoyance, she'd been waiting for it to be in for weeks and Shiru's dad had told a week ago it would be in today.

Mira was so focused on her search she didn't see who came in the store, nor did she care. Upon finally finding the book she let out a loud "yes" and jumped up fist pumping the air. A small "tch" from behind her made her whirl around. Shkamaru and Choji, his best friend stood there looking at her. Shikamaru had his hands in his pocket as he stared at her with an eye brow raised and uncaring eyes, Choji had his bag of chips and was stuffing his face giving her a friendly closed mouth smile as he chewed. Mira turned a deep shade of red before bolting to the front desk and throwing the money at Shiru before flying out the door. By the time she stopped running she was in front of the training grounds, she had her hands on her knees and she was breathing heavily. She'd been running on instinct which is probably why she'd ended up here.

Sighing she started away from the training grounds and to the park where she sat on a bench watching the kids play. She smiled softly, she loved coming here and seeing all the smiling faces. She flipped her book open and began reading. The series was all about a female ninja who had lost her love during a war between villages, she'd vowed to take down the people who had killed him during the battle, a group of hired rogue ninja. Along the way she meets these odd balls who have their own vendettas with the same group and they try to track them down. They often help villages in trouble on their way because they are honorable though the lead girl tends to get frustrated with this sometimes as she wants to take them down.

When she finally stopped reading the sun was much lower in the sky and her watch read 3:19. She folded the page and started towards home. She wanted to get changed before she met up with Sakura and Ino. When she got there she found her dad wasn't around, smiling she raced up the steps and to her room, she decided on tonight's outfit. Searching through she sighed at her minimal choice of clothes before deciding on a short black dress with a large red ribbon around the middle and lacy sleeves that went down nearly all the way to her fingers. She pulled on some thigh high stockings and a pair of red flats. She pulled her hair up into pony tail and smiled at her reflection in the mirror she had by her dresser. She grabbed her bag and left for the meeting spot. When she got there she grinned Ino and Sakura were dressed nicely for the evening as well. In had her hair hanging loose and wore a cute purple top along with cute shorts and short black heels and Sakura had on a cute red summer dress and red sandals, her hair was in a braid. The two didn't normally get along because of their mutual crush on Uchiha Sasuke however when Mira was around they did their best not to fight which was really just ignoring each other.

"Hey" she called to them.

"Aw, you look so pretty Mira" Sakura gushed, for some reason Sakura was always gushing like a mother hen over Mira. Mira blinked for a second and then grinned at her.

"Thanks, you two look really pretty too." Most nine year old girls didn't put forth so much effort but these three had a thing for fashion and had decided every once in a while they'd get dressed up for one of their constant outings for fun. Ino walked behind Mira and started tying a black ribbon around her pony tail.

"What are you doing?" Mira asked.

"I thought this would look cute on you so I brought it. I was right, and it matches your outfit" Ino told her bouncing in front of her again. Mira chuckled.

"Thank you…Ino."

"No problem."

"So where to first?" Sakura asked. Mira gave her a smile and started walking forward.

"Naruto's" she said with a bright smile. Sakura and Ino looked at her and rolled their eyes but followed anyway. They knocked on Naruto's door and waited. Naruto opened the door holding a bowl of ramen and a pair of chopsticks.

"Hey Naruto" He gave her an excited grin.

"Hey Mira, Sakura, Ino"

"Were getting everyone and having a night out, wanna come?" Sakura asked. Naruto frantically nodded his head, then looked at his ramen and began to shake his head.

"I'll by you ramen" Mira told him, and they were off. Next they visited Hinata's, she was happy enough to join them. After that they visited Kiba's, he agreed to come as long as he could bring Akamaru. After that Hinata suggested going to Shino's, Mira excitedly lead the way, everyone else went along wearily. Shino was a bit odd, no one was really friends with him but no one particularly disliked him either. Shino almost refused, but Hinata and Mira were able to talk him into it in the end. After that Ino and Sakura begged Mira to ask Sasuke, reluctantly they headed toward Sasuke's apartment. He said no. Honestly Mira expected as much and didn't bother to push him to come because she hardly wanted him to. He wasn't the most fun to be around, and he was too moody for her taste, not that she hated him just didn't really care either way. After that they headed towards the ramen shop because Naruto was getting hungry and Mira had promised him food. When they got there they found Choji and Shikamaru seated and eating.

"Yo Shikamaru" Naruto exclaimed upon entering. Lazily Shikamaru turned to them.

"Yo" he said and then turned back to his food. Mira felt slightly paralyzed, she felt foolish, not only did she like a guy who wasn't interested in anything let alone her, but she'd made herself look like an idiot in front of him just that morning. Red faced she tossed her wallet to Sakura who fumbled to catch it in confusion.

"Sakura, don't let him eat too much, I'll be at the park okay?" She asked hurriedly before rushing off unanswered. Sakura and the others stared after her in confusion. The boys didn't dwell on it for long but the three girls shared a look of curiosity silently deciding to ask her later. Only one boy paid attention to Mira's early departure, though from the looks of him you wouldn't even notice that he was. Shikamaru couldn't help but wonder why she kept running away like that, had he done something? It didn't take long before he decided it was too troublesome and returned to his meal.

At the park Mira sat on a swing quietly swinging back and forth as she watched the sky grow darker. Despite her efforts not too think about Gaara she was. She sighed as the same questions and answers went around in her head. When she tried to think of something else her mind landed on Shikamaru which had her blushing immediately. After a moment she decided that topic wasn't much better. Shaking her head she stared up towards the sky as she swung. Softly she began to sing a song she'd been writing.

"I love the rain, wash away my pain, and I can finally see its end, like a last refrain

My greatest dream, isn't what it seems, I want a family and a house, my own home team

Someone to love, who's dreaming of, a little life a little home, a roof above" She sighed and hummed a few notes before she went back to thinking. The group found her half an hour later; she noted her wallet was considerably lighter. She gave Sakura a look; she returned it with a guilty expression and a shrug. Chuckling she put it in her bag and the group started playing around. The rest of the time she spent with the group she played 'avoid the Shikamaru' faithfully. Every time she ended up near him she blushed and ran to stand next to whoever was furthest away. By the end of the evening she was pretty sure he was glaring at her. This was made into a fact when he pulled her to the side as everyone made their departures home for the night as it was getting late.

"Are you avoiding me?" He drawled as they sat on the park bench. Mira flushed and looked away, Shikamaru didn't look at her instead looking at the stars.

"N-no, w-why would y-you think that?" She asked with guilty laughter. He let his head roll to the side to look at her with an eye brow raised. "Shut up" she mumbled embarrassed.

"Why?" he asked, sounding…well uninterested to say the least. Underneath it all though he was curious, he wasn't diseased so why was she avoiding him like the plague.

"I-I" she sighed and stood up; she walked forward a few steps.

"You you?"

"Like you" she mumbled shifting her eyes to look at the empty space to her right.

"Huh? I dodn't hear you." He wasn't teasing her and she could tell. Blushing she took a deep breath and turned to him balling up her fists.

"I LIKE YOU" she said loudly closing her eyes and leaning forward a bit. Her eyes popped open in shock, and for the first time she saw Shikamaru wearing an expression that wasn't one of boredom, shock. She gasped and whirled around biting her lip. Crap, why had she said that, she wanted to beat herself over the head with a stick.

"Okay" his voice startled her out of her internal monologue. She glanced at him.

"Huh?"

"Okay, I kind of…like you too, Mira-chan." He gently took her hand in his looking away; she could still see the blush on his face. A smile lit her face and she held his hand. "Can I walk you home?" he asked.

"Mm" She told him in affirmation and they started to make their way home. When she arrived for dinner she was going to experience a very odd meal for sure.