Change in Darkness
Chapter ten
Three more days had passed since my arrival back in Castellum. The villagers came back on the second day, hoping to re-build what had been destroyed. I spent my time between the remaining knights and helping heal the more badly wounded. I had created a three-woman team of Healers and potential Healers just for this. Marlow and Sega were the other members of my group. With Sega and I doing all we knew to help the men, both Brits and Woads alike, and Marlow helping with the smaller things that she was taught how to do.
Arthur had decided to have Lancelot's funeral in a day, that way we were all prepared for it. And it would give Tristan more time to wake up. His wounds were healing better now and his fever was slowly going down. Now all we had to do was wait. Every few hours one of the assigned Healers would switch places with the last. It usually went me in the morning, Morganna from lunch to supper and then I would come and take her place through the night. Gawain had set up a small cot for me in the corner of the scouts' bedroom, right beside the fireplace. That was the only time I slept. And when I actually did fall asleep it was light. The slightest shift from Tristan would wake me.
During the spare time I had from watching over Tristan and working with Marlow and Sega I stayed beside Gawain and Galahad. They normally spent their days in the tavern, arranging work for people who used to work in the fields. Until the smoke, bodies and blood were cleaned away there would be no working outside Castellum. I didn't help them, just simply stayed to the side and took the time to eat and think.
Bors spent all his time watching over his children and Vanora. He even helped out in the tavern when the children went to sleep. Apparently Bega had been helping out as well, trying to find herself something to keep her mind busy. I had to tell her about Lancelot when she came back. Immediately she asked to see the body and it literally broke me to see her reaction. The girl had dropped to her knees and simply wailed. We stayed in the room with his body for a few hours, long enough for my sister to compose herself and say her last good byes to the black haired knight.
From what I know, Arthur and Guinevere had been arranging everything that they could think of; trying to identify men from the battle that had been killed, working with Merlin to find a way to connect the Woads and his people and organizing his wedding with Guinevere. I didn't see him much, except for when he came after supper to visit Tristan and check on his condition. And every time he did there was always a dull look of defeat in his eyes.
On the fourth day I was given a black dress. I had never worn one before. There was no chance to mourn for our parents or for the friends I had lost. Vanora gave me a sad smile before helping me lace up the back. No emotion had shown on my face since leaving the tavern to find my cot in Tristan's' room. I must have worried Gawain because I had awoken to the red head shaking my shoulder.
"Téann a spiorad ar ais go dtí an Oirthear filleadh abhaile," I gave Vanora a dry smile before braiding my hair down my back. Those words were an Irish saying that meant; His spirit goes back to the East to return home. It was moments like this that made me think back to my father. He had told me, after Lancelot was taken, that all great knights return as great horses to lead their kinsmen on the path they took. I would never know if what he said was true or not. But I desperately hoped so. Maybe, somewhere back in Sarmatia, two wild stallions rode hard through green grasslands.
The funeral was simple. The last knights dug out the grave as the others looked on in silence. Once the rectangular shaped hole had been dug it was lined with dried grass from the far fields. Lancelot's covered body was lowered into the grass and then had more tucked in around him and layered above him. I stood beside Gawain during this, holding onto Aelred's reins. I slowly stroked the war horses' muzzle, keeping back more tears that threatened to flow. Gawain wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rested his other hand on Bega's shoulder. The young girls' cheeks were streaming with tears and soft sobs wretched from her chest.
A single bird flew over the graves just before Arthur set down the fire, burning my brothers' remains. He had explained to me that Lancelot had asked him to burn his body if he died. And let the ashes go to the east, back home to Sarmatia. A woman in the back of the mourners started singing softly. It was an old song from the island. It told of bravery, death and peace. She must have been someone Lance had grown close to while I had been gone. Flowers were thrown into the flames with my brothers' body, burning and letting loose a faint and pleasant smell to hide the scent of burning flesh.
"Come now, let's get back to Tristan," whispered Gawain. I smiled slightly to him before letting him lead me and Bega back to the fort.
We returned Aelred back to his stall together before dropping Bega back at Sigga's little home. Dax and Eadric said they would watch over her for me while I tended to the still unconscious knight. Gawain and I met up with Galahad along the way. He had food and wine with him and a tight smile. I waved to him, slipping my hand around his. The three of us went up to Tristan's room together, finding spots to sit and eat. The men split the bread and grapes between us before handing out goblets. I nodded my thanks and simply sat, eating and listening to my brothers' words.
"I can't believe it's finally over. We are completely free men," Galahad was saying. I looked up at him with a faint smile. I guess one good thing did come out from all of this. We were all seated in different areas of the room. Gawain, being the most injured of the three of us, had the chair. I was sitting on the floor with my back pressed up against Tristan's bed and Gal was sitting at the table in the far end of the room.
"Yes, but at what cost? There were so many of us when we first got to this wretched island. Now look at us; three of us are alive and well with a brother who won't wake." My eyes flickered over to the dark haired scout and I couldn't help but sigh.
"We all know that Tristan will come back from wherever he is. He's not one to give up so easily," the boy knight smiled brightly. I blinked quickly at him. Since when had Galahad become the optimistic one? Both Gawain and I looked at each other before staring suspiciously at the other knight. "What?"
"Why are you being so…content?" Gawain questioned. Gal's smile trembled before turning down.
"I'm not," he corrected after a few moments of silence. "I just can't stand everyone else being so unhappy. I'm doing my best to keep the mood up." I frowned at that thought, looked down at my borrowed dress. Gal was right. Ever since Dagonet's death none of us had had much reason to smile. And now, with Tristan sleeping still and Lancelot dead, there really was no reason to smile.
"Well then, how about we just think about this; our fifteen year service is over. The fighting is over. We are free men again." Gal and I looked at Gawain for a moment before we looked at each other and broke into smiles.
"You're right. There is reason to be thankful. You can go home, find your families, and start families. There is no more need to fight. And even though we've lost men along the way, their deaths weren't in vain." I smiled brightly at the two men who I had grown close to in the past year.
"What are you going to do now, Ailith?" Gal asked his smile fading. I stopped for a moment, smile slipping. There was a long silence before I spoke.
"I think that I will stay here, with Arthur and Bors. I don't think I could leave this island after all that I've been through. And this is where Lancelot and Dagonet were buried." My eyes flickered over to the man still sleeping soundly in his bed and I knew the other two knew. They knew that I wouldn't leave Tristan.
"I- I think staying might be a good choice. I mean, I can't even remember what home looks like. If anything, this place has become home. I guess I'll just stay and serve Arthur," Galahad responded. I gave the young man a thankful look before looking up at Gawain.
"Like I could leave you two here by yourselves. You are my family and I would never leave you behind."
We spent the rest of that evening reminiscing. I learnt about the other knights who fell before I joined them. I learnt about Gawain and Galahad's childhoods, both in Sarmatia and in Britain. I told them about mine and Lancelot's lives when we were young. How we would trick our parents and stay up late, talking about absolutely nothing, and when Bega was born. I told them about my parents and the valley our tribe lived in. And by the end of the night all three of us were too tired to continue. The men when to their own rooms and I snuggled down in the cot made for me.
In the morning Bega came in to wake me up. She had with her a bowl of soup and some bread from the tavern. Saying that Vanora would be cross if I didn't do something productive today.
"Alright, alight, I'm out. Make sure to stay until Morganna comes for her shift," I called over my shoulder as I left the bedroom. I heard her mumble something under her breath before closing the door. I stopped at the balcony connecting out bedrooms and looked out over the fort. Life continued as it had before the war. I smiled and took a deep breath of fresh air before turning and following the path to the stairs.
I went down to the training ring to find Johls with the horses out. I whistled and found three horses coming to me. I laughed and hopped up on the fence, sitting with my legs on the other side of the fence. Aelred, Ewell and Ealdred all greeted me by brushing their muzzles against my hands and arms. I couldn't help but laugh as Johls came to join me. The other horses watched quietly while grazing on the far side of the circle.
"I think they missed you," Johls said with a large grin. Ewell whinnied, nudging my face with his. I chuckled and brought my hand up, patting the black horse's neck.
"It would seem so. Remind me to visit more often, and to bring something for them." The British man nodded and laughed when Aelred nearly pushed me off the fence. It felt odd to be acting so normal. But it also felt better that sitting around and waiting for Tristan to wake up.
"Shouldn't you be headed over to the Healer's soon?" Johls asked me, patting Ealdred's black side. I sighed heavily and nodded. Guess it was time to go back to reality.
I said goodbye to the horses and Johls before heading back to the large cottage where we had set up a Healer's area. Sick and injured lay in every room with the sounds of coughs and moans of pain echoing through. I paused outside the door and sighed. What a way to put a damper on a good mood. I took a deep breath before pushing the door open and walking in.
Inside was far too warm to be healthy. The smell of herbs clouded out the other senses. Sigga and Marlow greeted me as I walked down the halls. But I had a goal in mind. I went to the very back room and found the window. I pushed open the glass and turned to the ill woman lying in the cot against the far wall. "Time for some fresh air, I think," I said to her with a smile. She looked slightly shocked for a couple of moments before smiling hesitantly back.
I went around to every room, opening windows and chatting with the patients for a couple of minutes. Every one of them seemed surprised. Had I really been mourning for so long? Had I completely blocked out the simplest of socialness that I had once been proud of as a child? Well, it was time to change that. I wouldn't be Ailith the mournful, Wolf the warrior, or any other name I had been given. I would be the Healer that Tate had wanted me to be and the companion my friends had missed.
I spent the day at the Healing House, chatting with the patients as I worked on their wounds. Bega stopped by again to bring lunch and had immediately felt the change in the cottage. The patients seemed livelier, more determined. When she left, I felt pleased with the work I had accomplished. By supper, when I went back to Tristan's room, I felt much better. Morganna was sitting at the bed side, sharpening her sword to pass the time. She nodded at me as I came in before standing and leaving the bedroom.
After feeding and dressing Tristan's wounds I lay back in my cot and thought about the changes that had occurred today. Thanks to the chat Gawain, Gal and I had had last night I felt better about everything. I felt clear. Like someone had dropped a bucket of cold lake water on my head. It felt good to do the job I had chosen so long ago. And now that I was refreshed I felt like I could do my healing just that much better. Marlow and Sigga had been surprised at my sudden change in mood. And when Gawain had come to see his lover he had explained to them what happened the night before.
I groaned, stretching my limbs out towards the hearth. Morning had come far too soon for my liking. I curled back into my blankets, never opening my eyes. After a moment of silence I noticed something out of place. Tristan wasn't breathing as slowly as he had been before. I shot up, my grey eyes opening wide as I stared at the scout. And dark brown eyes stared steadily back at me.
"Tristan!" I jumped up, tripping on my way over to the bedside and fell on my knees beside the bed. "How long have you been up? Are you're wounds hurting? Are you hungry? Thirsty? You are an ass for making me worry so much!" The dark haired scout blinked in complete shock at the stream of questions that left my mouth. After a moment my eyes widened again as I stood up quickly and went to the door. I threw open the door and stepped out onto the balcony. I quickly went to the next room and pounded on the door.
"Wake up! Wake up Gawain!" I quickly ran farther down the hall and opened Galahad's door. "Wake up Gal! Tristan's awake!" The young man blinked his eyes owlishly at me before slowly rising.
"What?"
"Tristan is awake!" His eyes slowly came into focus as he got out of bed, grabbed a tunic and followed me back into the hall. Gawain was already in Tristan's room with a large grin on his face. Galahad went in in front of me and sat down on the scout's bed.
"You bastard! You had us all worrying for nothing!" He happily yelled a grin on his face. Gawain pulled me over to his side and gave me a tight hug. "I'll go get Bors and Arthur." Galahad announced before getting up and running from the room.
Tristan watched me constantly through this, dark eyes never leaving my own grey ones. "You're lucky you woke up there Trist. I'm sure Morganna would have killed you soon if she had to put up with us any longer." Gawain joked, releasing me and going to his friends' side. I laughed as well, sitting up by Tristan's head. I ran a hand through his tousled hair and smiled down at him.
"Morganna?" He asked. His voice was rougher and horse than normal from lack of use.
"She's the Woad woman who was healing you before I got back. She stayed and helped me out while you were asleep." I explained, brushing his bangs into their normal place. "She's not the friendliest of people. But she's Merlin's sister and was offering her help. We couldn't just say no."
He nodded and closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feel of my fingers playing in his hair. "I'll just go and find Galahad. Knowing him, he's wondered off and told everyone in the fort," Gawain stood and squeezed my shoulder before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.
"Do you want anything?" I asked quietly, moving my hand to touch the scouts' cheek. I carefully traced the marks on his high cheekbones.
"Water. Please," he added the 'please' after a quick moment of thought. I smiled and stood from the bed. There was still water in the basin on the table. I poured some into a cup and brought it over to Tristan. Helping him sit up against the wall behind his bed was a bit more difficult with one hand but we managed to pull it off. I handed him the water before pushing myself up against his good side.
"I missed you," I whispered, not even sure if he heard it. I felt him put down the cup on the bed and his good arm wrap around me. I let him pull me into his lap and felt his rough fingers nudging my chin up.
"I dreamt about you. You never left my side, always with me." I smiled slightly as tears started to fill up in my eyes. "I dreamt about your wolf as well. It felt like she was watching over me. And when the time came I followed her and she led me back here. To you." Hearing this, the tears spilled over and slipped down my cheeks. Tristan moved forward, probably ignoring any pain he felt and pressed his lips to mine. His hand slid up and cupped my cheek. I could feel the swell of passion and love that came from this man. All directed at me. More tears fell before we parted.
By the time Bors, Vanora, the children, Arthur and Guinevere came back with Gawain and Galahad, I had moved back to sitting beside Tristan as they all filled the room. The children sat with me, all finding a place on the small bed while the adults stood and smiled at the knight. Vanora even hugged the scout before letting Bors at him. I couldn't help but smile at how close these people had become to me.
All of the knights belong to the wonderful creators of King Arthur. Ailith is mine though, you can't have her!
Alright, I couldn't leave you guys hanging any longer. So here is the second last chapter. Next one will be the epiloge. I am so glad that you guys have continued to read my writing even though it sucked at the beginning XD
Well, review and I hope the rest of your day goes well. LOVE YA!