Allergic Reactions

The young man sat in front of his laptop, as he had done for many months. He was a writer by trade and, like many writers, he was working very hard on finding something - anything - to distract him from what he was supposed to be working on.

He raked his hand through his brown hair before moving the cursor to the internet link. A new page developed on the screen.

The young man started to giggle. As he let what he was seeing sink in, the giggling evolving into chuckling and then, full-on boisterous laughter.

"Hey. What's up?", inquired a lovely brunette as she entered through the front door, letters in hand.

"Well, I just read on a message board that heard from a Facebook post that came from a link on Twitter that originated on a Wikipedia page…"

"So you know it's trustworthy", the woman snarked.

"…that they're making a 'Fairly Oddparents' movie."

The young woman shrugged her shoulders. "So what? They put those out once every few years, each one worse than the last."

"But this one's in live-action."

The brunette fell into a chair. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Apparently, they cast it, they're shooting it."

"Sounds like Nickelodeon wants a piece of that sweet 'Ben 10' movie money."

"Who knows?"

The brunette pulled up a chair, forcing the young man to scoot over. She read the announcement for herself. Confusion crossed her face. "Who the heck is Daniella Monet?"

"One of the stars of 'VicTORIous'."

"Vic-whah?"

"You've never seen it?"

"I gave up on Nickelodeon when they stopped airing 'Ned's Declassified'."

The young woman commandeered the keyboard and typed 'Daniella Monet' into a search engine. She clicked on the 'images' link. A sneer developed on her face. "She doesn't look anything like me!"

He shrugged his shoulders. "What? She's not bad looking."

"That's beside the point!"

"Well, Miss big-shot casting director, who would you cast?"

The woman again typed on the keyboard. Her companion gazed in mild shock at the dark-haired woman in the pictures.

"Okay, she looks a lot like you."

"That's what I said when I saw her in that movie, Sex Drive."

"That's a better choice than the guy they got for me."

"Sure, because you're nothing like Drake Bell."

"Was that sarcasm?"

"Can you blame me?"

"Yeah. It was bad enough when you dragged me to see Superhero Movie-"

"I dragged you? You're the one who wanted to go!"

The young man couldn't respond to that; it was so long ago, he was hoping that she had a short memory and could catch the heat for that movie choice.

"Okay, but still…they could've done better."

The woman had a feeling about what was coming. "Like who?"

He typed on the keyboard, revealing a series of pictures that sent the woman into a giggle fit.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah…"

"But Pacey on 'Dawson's Creek'?"

"Hey, when the show was on, that's just how I imagined I'd turn out."

Not wanting to get into an argument that would likely carry long after the storm of the movie had passed, the young man scanned down at some of the comments.

"'Would've been better if it was animated'."

"Probably."

"No, I was reading the comments. Oh, here's a good one: 'it's going to be Last Airbender all over again!'."

"Are people still beating that horse?"

"It's the internet. Of course, they are. 'It's a bad idea!'."

The woman folded her arms. "Well, that's original. I mean, why are people reacting this way? What, is the show such an untouchable Rosetta Stone of brilliant characterization, clever writing and pungent social commentary?"

"Not since the first season."

"I know. It's not like a live-action movie can ruin it."

"And what is with this reactionary attitude toward live-action versions of cartoons? Some of them were pretty decent."

"Yeah. Inspector Gadget was all right. So was Popeye, Josie and the Pussycats…"

"That one was hilarious."

"It was. Speed Racer…"

"That was a blast! Why did people hate that?"

"And that Rocky & Bullwinkle movie was pretty good, too."

"Speaking of Rocky & Bullwinkle…" The young man opened another link. A new window appeared on screen. It showed Jason Alexander and Cheryl Hines decked out in, respectively, green and pink pompadours.

"This, I didn't see coming."

"Yeah. It's off-putting. Still…" The young man started as he pulled up the search engine page and typed furiously. "…is it any more off-putting than this?" No sooner had he finished the sentence than the picture of Hank Azaria as Gargamel appeared before the woman's eyes.

"Yikes! No!"

He closed the window. "Besides, this isn't going to, like, destroy their careers. She's on 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and he was 'Duckman'. Respect." The young man scanned the news story. "Here's something interesting: 'to be directed by Savage Steve Holland'."

"So?"

"'So'? He wrote and directed Better Off Dead. He's perfect for a live-action cartoon."

"I've never seen Better Off Dead."

"Are you serious?"

"I never got around to it."

"You know that 'South Park' when they went to Aspen?"

"Yeah."

The young man gave her a look that said, 'well, there you are'.

"Oh. I might want to see that."

"You know something else coming from this movie? Residual checks."

"That's right." The woman picked up the letters she'd carried in. "Some more came in the mail."

The two of them tore through the envelopes, glancing over the checks that ranged from ninety dollars to…

"38 cents?", the man exclaimed.

"Maybe, we should've gone for direct deposit. Tim?"

"Yeah, Virginia?"

"Do you ever regret it?"

"What?"

"Allowing them to make a show based on our lives."

"I didn't used to. I mean, sure, they added the fairies and the-" Tim put up air quotes. "'wacky' supporting characters, but I thought it was a pretty good story."

"How far along are you?"

"What?"

"On your book. Don't pretend you weren't working on it when I walked in."

"Halfway."

Virginia leaned on Tim's shoulder. "Tim…"

"I really want the story out there. People need to know."

"I know you want it out there. I just hope you're not setting yourself up for a fall. There are a lot of writers out there, but there aren't that many successful ones."

"You don't think I can make it?"

"I didn't say that. I just want you to see the reality."

"I want to see myself finishing. Reality can wait."

Virginia kissed Tim's ear. "Not for too long. So, you excited for the movie?"

Tim shrugged. "I guess so."

"You guess so? They're finally telling the story of us getting together. I'd think your reaction would be a little more excited."

"Ehh, maybe we'll watch it."

"'Maybe'?"

"I mean, it's kind of a priority. Just not a really high one."

"Okay. Fair enough."

"Of course, the ending won't be as cool as the one we created."

"That much is true, Mr. Turner."

"I love you, Mrs. Turner." Tim kissed his wife passionately.

"I love you, too." Virginia returned the gesture before reaching over to click the 'X' on the internet browser.

A/N: Yep. I've heard that a "Fairly OddParents" movie is airing sometime next year. The conversation between Tim and Virginia pretty much reflects my opinions on the matter, especially the part about how the movie will ruin the show (seriously, anyone who genuinely thinks this needs to lay off the airplane glue).

It's been such a long time since I've added anything to "Some of a Batch", but (thanks to a silly little picture I've encountered recently) I may soon be adding another installment.

Thanks for reading.