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Chapter Eight: Undiscovered Relics

I was not informed that the Commander had an offspring. I do not know why you are writing to me. Her actions should speak for themselves.

I am a warrior. I have always been a warrior. In my cycle, the Reapers had overrun our empire, and there was no choice. If you did not fight, you would die. There is much that I do not understand about this cycle, and more that I do not like. This pitiful form of communication, for instance. But I understood and I respected Commander Shepard. She, too, was a warrior.

Her singular purpose was to destroy the Reapers. This, she accomplished. She did what no other cycle, not even mine, managed. That is her legacy. I doubt it is one you can fully understand or live up to.

Javik

o-o-o

Complete bullshit, is what it was.

There was the Major, eating his cornflakes or whatever like he was so damned slick, so fucking cool. James had news for the Major – he wasn't. In fact, on James' shit list, Alenko was sitting pretty near the top, which was pretty impressive when you took into account the fact that they were fighting giant sentient machines intent on destroying everything.

James flipped his eggs a little too forcefully and swore when the yoke erupted all over the pan. Without looking he could tell that the douchebag was looking, probably smirking to himself, having a little laugh, yeah, that was it. Well, James wasn't the one eating cornflakes, was he? Hell no, because unlike some people, James knew how to cook.

And yeah, okay, the Major hadn't done anything wrong – okay, hadn't done anything wrong since he pointed a gun at Shepard, which, by the way, was still such a fucking bullshit move that his recent good behaviour didn't even matter. The Major was going to be paying off the karma from that incident for a long time to come. And if karma needed a little bit of help from Lieutenant James Vega, well, he'd never been the type to turn down a pretty lady.

"I think the eggs are already dead," commented the Major from where he was sitting.

James knew what else he wanted dead, and it was sitting in the mess, eating cornflakes. Why the hell had Shepard let the guy who almost killed her back on the ship? The guy who questioned her the whole way through Mars? He could see it, maybe, if the two of them were good friends, but no matter which way James figured it, he couldn't see how that was the case. He'd been stuck to Shepard like flies on tape during her incarceration. Nobody got to her without going through him – especially not after that guy Toombs – and so he could say with absolute certainty that the Major had never come to see Shepard. Not once.

So let's review the evidence. Fact: the Major didn't come to see Shepard during her incarceration, despite the fact that she clearly wasn't going anywhere and he was on Earth. Fact: when they did team up for the Mars mission, the Major bitched like a girl left at prom because he was convinced that Shepard was still with Cerberus. Fact: he hadn't trusted Shepard's word that she wasn't with Cerberus, despite the fact that it was pretty common knowledge that she'd been going toe to toe with those indoctrinated bastards since leaving Earth.

Fact: Shepard hadn't shared with the Major half the stuff she'd shared with James, including her creepy as hell resurrection. (James couldn't be a hundred percent on this, but considering the Major's trust issues, and the fact that he seemed to think that Shepard and Cerberus had this hooker-pimp relationship going on, he felt it was safe to assume.)

So the argument that they were close friends held little to no water, thanks very much.

A sharp, irritating thought crossed through his mind, and he grimaced.

"You okay, Lieutenant?" asked the Major.

"Fan-fucking-tastic," replied James, adding hot sauce to his eggs. He didn't bother to look up. Every time he took in those brown eyes and that chiselled jaw, the latter just seemed to be begging for a nice, fist shaped bruise.

Doc came out of her room then, interrupting the testosterone that James was flinging in the Major's direction – whether the guy knew it or not – and walked directly to Alenko. She set her blue hands on the table. "Kaidan, Shepard would like you to suit up. She's taking us out into the field."

James' hand tightened around his spatula, and he had to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from saying anything.

"Oh?" said the Major, and sat up taller. "Where we headed?"

Doc paused a moment, and then said, real soft, "Eden Prime."

Well that was something even James hadn't expected. He looked over at the two of them, and if he'd liked the Major a little better, he might even have felt bad for the guy. There were clearly some old ghosts hanging around from that mission. James tried to imagine what it would be like, to have been there on Shepard's first (or last, depending on how you looked at it) run before becoming a Spectre. Whole squads killed, first ever Reaper sighted.

Grudgingly, he could admit that maybe the Major was the best choice, if only for sentimental reasons. That being said, he'd never known Shepard to be overly sentimental.

"I'll – I'll get my gear," said Kaidan, pushing his bowl away. He and Doc walked away, conversing with each other quietly.

James dumped his admittedly lacklustre eggs onto a plate and sat down at the table, devouring them with gusto. What he wanted was a straight answer from Shepard about why she allowed the Major on board, but he doubted he get it even if he did have the balls to ask, which he most definitely didn't. He might be sweet on her, and he might be harbouring some pretty sexy fantasies about her – the latest one took place behind the crates in the docking bay, her biting into his shoulder to muffle the sound so that Estaban and the others didn't hear – but he was under no illusions about where this confrontation would lead. She could hand his ass to him even on an off day. And, oh wait, what was that? She'd done so on more than one occasion. So that was a no-go.

When he finished eating, he picked up his plate and then paused. After an internal war, he picked up the Major's too and brought them both to the sink for a wash. But that was it. James wasn't doing any more favours for that guy.

Then he wandered down to the cargo bay. Estaban's shuttle was gone, so James assumed Shepard and company had already made the drop to the planet. That was fine with him. The last thing he wanted to see was Shepard headed off to battle with Major Trust Issues. Actually, the very last thing he wanted to see was when she returned with him. Again.

He taped up his hands and had a go at his punching bag. If he wasn't going to be down with the ground team, shooting up hostiles, this was probably the next best thing. He let himself be angry, the kind of angry he'd been holding back because it resulted in shit like Omega. He went at that bag until he could barely feel his hands anymore.

Estaban was watching him when he finally took a break, sitting in the entrance of the Kodiak.

"Enjoying the view?" asked James, throwing the man a grin.

He got a grin back. "No complaints. Was wondering what got you so riled you had to take it out on that poor bag, though. Even for you, this is a tad excessive."

James hesitated, but then he remembered what he'd said to Shepard about sharing the burden, blah blah blah. He had to talk to someone or he'd be a hypocrite, and somehow she'd find out and use it as an excuse to hide away. So he said, "You think Shepard and the Major are, you know, together?"

Estaban's eyebrows were nearly at his hairline. "Together?" he echoed. "I'm guessing you don't mean down there on Eden Prime."

With more than a touch of irritation, James began ripping the tape off his hands. "Forget it."

"No, no, wait a second," said Estaban, standing and walking over, one hand raised as if it would stop time or something. "Why do you ask?"

Crumpling the tape into a ball and tossing it into the trash, James crossed his arms and leaned back against the crates with a huff. "I'm trying to figure out why she let the Major back on board. He didn't exactly have her back. Wouldn't trust her at her word. Jesus, the guy has an armed standoff with her, and she welcomes him back onto the ship like it's nothing. I just want to know what the deal is. I don't trust him."

"Now, don't bite my head off for mentioning this – but it wasn't so long ago that you were second guessing Shepard's decisions?"

His temper flared a little at that, mostly because James knew it was true and Estaban wasn't saying anything that James hadn't repeated to himself. "That's different," said James, and at Estaban's amusement, insisted, "It is! I thought it was bullshit that we were leaving Earth to be decimated, and I told her so." James took a deep breath. "But I never really doubted her. Once I calmed down enough, I realized that she was right. Alenko followed her orders but didn't trust her motivations. There's a difference."

Estaban crossed his arms too, mirroring James. His face was a closed book. "I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me."

"Shoot," said James, even though he had a real bad feeling about this.

"Are you in love with Shepard?" asked Estaban without a trace of amusement. No good humour, even.

He wanted to deny it, wanted to laugh it off, but those pretty blue eyes of Estaban's made him feel like he was in confessional for the first time since he was fifteen. James banged his head back against the crate, staring at the ceiling. "Fuck, I don't know," he said honestly. "She's just – she's not like anybody else, you know? Seeing her outside her role as Commander, man, I wish you could see it, Estaban."

He was aware of how this all sounded. He might as well buy a lined notebook the next time they were on the Citadel, along with a fucking ink well, and start writing crappy, high school level love poems. He doubted he'd be the first to write them either. Hell, there were probably whole forums on the extranet devoted to Shepard inspired poetry. He made a mental note to look some up later.

"I've seen it," said Estaban. At James' startled glance, he smiled a little. "I was… I was missing Robert. She didn't order me off the ship, but she did ask nicely if I'd go, for her. When I did, she met me there and we didn't say much, just sort of watched the scenery."

And this was too deep, so James did what he did best. "You sweet on Shepard too, Estaban?"

Estaban chuckled. "If she were a man, you can bet I'd be all over that."

"If she were a man, this would be a completely different conversation," said James. "You'd be the one spilling your guts and I'd be the wingman."

"Have you told her?"

James stared at Estaban like the guy had just announced he was born with two dicks. "Fuck no. Are you loco?"

Estaban holds up his hands to placate the other man. "It was just a thought. No need to get touchy."

"You think I should?" asked James, though every bit of him railed against the thought. Worst case scenario, he makes an ass out of himself and Shepard gets uncomfortable, transferring him somewhere else. It wasn't just about not being on the Normandy, not anymore, but after Tuchanka, he now knew definitively that Shepard wasn't super human, he didn't want to be somewhere else with no one to watch her back.

He gave the mental finger to that part of his brain that brought up the rest of the crew, and one human Major in particular, because they did not count.

"Dunno," said Estaban. "You think she feels the same way?"

"Fuck if I know," groused James, banging his head lightly on the crates behind him. "I may like Shepard, but Jesus, a more difficult to understand woman I've yet to find."

Estaban was quiet for a while, running one hand over his jaw. He got this faraway look in his eye, and James knew that he was thinking of Robert. Although the shuttle pilot had never seen fit to tell James all the gory details – and James really wasn't complaining, because even talking about his own love life (or lack thereof as was sometimes the case) was enough to send him into a stasis of discomfort – although he didn't know everything, he knew that both Estaban and Robert had been in the Alliance together. That just raised so many questions, first and foremost being how?

"It's not like we've got a lot of time left, James," said Estaban, voice near a whisper. "If you've got the chance to be with someone you love – even a slim chance – you should go for it. We might all die tomorrow."

James threw a gentle punch at the pilot. "Us? Dead? Nah, we're too damn pretty to die."

That earned him a smile. "True."

James opened his mouth to thank Estaban for the advice even though he wasn't sure whether or not he was going to follow it. He didn't get the chance though, 'cause Shepard's voice fizzled through Estaban's comm asking for a pickup. Estaban shrugged as if to say duty calls and wandered back towards the shuttle.

As he watched the Kodiak fly away, James thought about what had been said. Really, he just needed to man up and tell the truth. He couldn't hide it forever, even if he had managed thus far. The only thing that really stopped him, though, was Shepard's reaction. He couldn't even begin to guess what it would be. Anger, probably. Maybe some disappointment. Eventually, her practicality would win out and she'd either transfer him away or he'd be permanently stuck in the cargo bay without a single word passing between them ever again. Neither scenario sounded particularly appealing.

He didn't delude himself for a moment that it would involve professions of love and roses and shit. Not only were their circumstances absolutely dark, but Shepard just wasn't that sort of woman. He wasn't that sort of man either, come to think of it.

He pretended to be working when the shuttle flew back into the cargo bay, but he was keeping one eye on it the whole time. The door popped open and out came Shepard, and she wasn't alone. Alenko had his arm around her shoulder and Shepard was holding him up with an arm around the Major's waist. A strike of pain lanced across the Major's face, and Shepard's face was equally grim. She noticed James and used her head to gesture to the Major's weapons.

"What happened?" asked James, a little smug but trying to hide it. They were all supposed to be in this together, no matter his personal beef with the Major, and no matter that this specific Major was a tool.

But at least the guy had the grace to look sheepish. "Cerberus Phantom. Snuck up on me. Grazed my right side."

"You should've told me that your biotics weren't fully operational," snapped Shepard. "When you said your implant got rattled, you played it off as no big thing." Shepard's hand tightened on the arm around her neck. "You need to tell me these things."

"I know," said the Major. "I'm sorry."

They shared this long glance that James did not like the look of. He grabbed Alenko's weapons and then gestured to Shepard's in askance. She nodded her head like she was being harried, so James took those too. Arms full, he wandered back to his bench, trying real hard not to think of the scene that lay behind him.

"Liara, can you take Kaidan up to the medbay?" asked Shepard

"Of course," said Doc, but not like she was excited at the prospect. More like, it was Christmas morning and her parents had just told her that she had to wait until after breakfast for presents.

"Good," said Shepard. "I've got to get our guest settled."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone. James peered over his shoulder in time to see this bug guy hop off the shuttle. All four yellow, creepy eyes peered around the cargo bay, and if James didn't know better, he'd say that emotion plastered all over that alien face was scorn. Joker wasn't going to be pleased, and maybe not EDI either since she was the ship, though James could never figure out what was going on in her electronic head.

"In my cycle, we had much more efficient forms of transportation," said the guy, voice deep. He didn't look like any race that James recognized, but something about him was vaguely familiar.

"I'm sure you did," said Shepard flatly. James recognized the tone – it was one his mom had used when she'd gotten so fed up with someone but been unable (for whatever reason) to say so aloud. "But we're not in your cycle anymore, we're in mine. Shall we get you settled?"

Joker came on over the PA. "Commander, Admiral Anderson's on the vid comm for you."

"Son of a bitch," hissed Shepard, running a hand through her hair. She stood there thinking for a few moments before her eyes sought out James. There was something like annoyance there, but not quite and James couldn't figure out what the fuck that was supposed to mean. Finally, she crooked a finger at him – that was an image he was going to use later, albeit in a totally different context – and feeling some reservation, he walked over.

Shepard took him by the shoulder and angled them away from… whoever and whatever that guy was. She leaned in close enough that he could smell sweat and dust on her. "I need to take this call from Anderson. Can you take Javik here to the empty cargo bay on Engineering?"

"Commander," he said, eyes flickering to the where this Javik guy was standing with his arms crossed, "no disrespect meant, but what the fuck is he?"

"That, James, is the last living Prothean." She smiled when she said it, but it wasn't exactly happy. In fact, there were dark circles around her eyes and she looked strained, like the skin of her face had been pulled too tight over the bones. "Will you do this for me?"

"Yeah. Sure. Of course," he said, even though Javik suddenly became a whole lot less appealing – which wasn't saying much 'cause four-eyed bug men had never been high on James' list of fetishes.

Didn't matter, because when Shepard offered a small smile and squeezed his shoulder, it was totally worth it. That moment stretched out like the cheese on those fresh pizza's from Dino's in his old neighbourhood. Shepard seemed to feel it too, because she removed her hand, face buttoning up. She nodded, turned to Javik. "James here is going to help you get settled, Javik."

The… Prothean (Jesus Christ, life with Shepard could not be real, it just couldn't be) turned those eyes on him and said nothing.

James, not really sure how to deal with a Prothean since he wasn't always super great with the races he already knew, stuck out his hand. "Pleased to meet you."

Javik just stared at his hand, and made no move to uncross his arms. Alrighty then.

"Come on you two," said Shepard, and this weird gang of theirs made their way to the elevator. Shepard took a deep breath and crossed her arms. It was weird to see her and the Prothean side by side. It wasn't that they looked alike – Shepard was hot and, well, not to mince words or anything but the Prothean was butt ugly – but they just had this same badass, contained air about them. Which was fucking ridiculous, because Shepard was nothing like this Javik. Even if they'd just met, James could tell the guy was an asshole, Prothean or not.

The elevator dinged on Engineering, and James got off. "Let's get you settled, big guy."

Was there a special verb to describe four eyes glaring instead of two? James doubted it, but decided he might have to ask Doc later. If anyone knew, it would be her. From inside the elevator, there was a cough that sounded like it might be trying real hard to be a laugh. Shepard was scratching her chin, eyes on the ceiling, the corner of her mouth twitching.

Javik got off the elevator.

"I'll be just upstairs," said Shepard, managing to be serious. "If you need anything, Javik, feel free to ask any of the crew."

The Prothean responded with this grave nod. James was starting to wonder if they were a fucking telepathic species or something. Wouldn't that be their luck, to find an ancient alien who wouldn't speak? Or, maybe, he communicated by pheromones like the elcor or with bioluminescence like the hanar and they just couldn't see it. If that were the case, James was willing to bet either or both of them were sending out a giant fuck you message loud and clear to anyone who could see it.

Or maybe, this guy was just moody as hell.

Still the guy followed him down the right hall. The door opened before them. Boxes and crates lined the room, and some wires hung from the ceiling. Still, it was mostly empty.

"Well, here we are," said James lamely. "Need anything?"

"I will require basins of water," said Javik. "I need to clean the remnants of the ship from my skin."

"Er, okay," said James, scratching his head. He had no idea what the hell that was supposed to mean. "I'll see what we can do about that. No promises before we dock next, though."

Javik grunted and sat down, back to James who didn't know what he was supposed to do now. Sit like a nanny with the 50,000 year old alien? Tell the guy some jokes? Play poker? What did Shepard want from him?

Without turning, Javik said, "You care for her. The Commander. This is foolish. You are at war. Now is not the time for petty emotions. One must rise above one's base passions if one is to defeat the Reapers."

James didn't know how the fuck this guy knew that, but he couldn't help the frustration that woke in his gut and called out for blood. He crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one foot. It would put him at a disadvantage if the Prothean decided to attack, but from that smug tone, James somehow didn't think it would be a problem.

"Oh really?" said James sourly. "And how'd that work out for you in your cycle?"

That was a low blow, and James knew it, but he somehow couldn't manage to give a shit.

Seemingly unmoved, Javik said, "Sarcasm. A primitive defense mechanism." He sniffed, as if smelling a full dumpster on a hot August day. "I don't know why the Commander holds you in such esteem."

That got James' attention. "Wait, what? She said that?"

Javik turned slightly, the look on his face the same one James usually got after he asked a particularly stupid question in school. "She did not have to," he said.

Which meant just about fuck all, but made James throw his shoulders back and grin like a doofus regardless. What he really wanted to do was ask this Javik guy – since he was apparently Captain Observation – what he'd noticed about the Major and Shepard, but he held back. Even for him, that was crossing a line. For right now, it was enough to know that Shepard held him in such esteem.

It was like he'd been accepted into the Alliance all over again, and this new evidence combined with that smile of Shepard's made him consider, really for the first time, that maybe he should follow Estaban's suggestion.

"Leave me," said Javik. "Your enamored pheromones are most irritating."

James left, but not before thinking, yeah well fuck you too, buddy. He hoped that message went through loud and clear.

Next Chapter: While on Arrae, an injury rocks James' world.