Author's Notes: I need to start off with a warning for this chapter. This chapter features a hot call that gets heavy and tough to handle. It contains a sensitive topic that might have triggers for some people. I hope it doesn't offend anyone as that is not my intention. It has a purpose for upcoming chapters as Jules continues to recover from the events that have happened to her. It's also a rather long chapter.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and the networks that air the episodes. Since the show has ended, our only way of getting new Flashpoint is through fan fiction. This story is my attempt to help fill the void, and the only profit I make is the warm fuzzy feeling reviews give me. Anything that does not come directly from the show is my own creation and should not be used without my permission.

The Re-Education of Jules Callaghan

Chapter 10

"So, Jules."

If you made a list of Ed Lane's strong suits, subtlety would not appear anywhere. They'd been riding around in the SUV for over an hour now and Ed Lane had been cutting his eyes over in her direction almost the entire time. Every time he'd opened his mouth to say something, he'd promptly closed it again. Now that he'd finally gotten the nerve apparently to actually speak, this was what he went with?

Jules resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "So, Ed."

Ed chuckled dryly, realizing he'd been more than a little obvious. "Soph's been on my case for a week now asking about you. She seemed to think something was bothering you the night of Greg's party. I've been telling her that she must have been imagining things but you know how she can be when she gets her mind set on something. So, everything okay?"

Jules looked out the side window. What Ed wasn't saying was that he had his own concerns because she knew he wouldn't be asking if it was only Sophie who was concerned. If she got defensive, she would feed his worry that something was wrong and that he wouldn't let up for anything. Besides, she knew if he was butting in, it was only because he cared. She couldn't fault him for that. "As okay as things can be given everything that's happened. Tell Sophie no need to worry. You knew that though; right? I mean, I haven't given you any reason to doubt my job performance have I?"

"No, no you haven't," Ed admitted quickly. "Still, you haven't had quite that usual spark about you lately. I can't blame you. It's been a hell of a stressful couple of months. I don't know anyone else that would have come through it as well as you have. But we both know it had to have some effect on you. You're tough but you're human."

Jules sighed. If she had to have this conversation with anyone on the team, she was glad it was Ed. Despite what some would consider a gruff personality, she knew he was as compassionate as anyone else on the team. He just tempered that compassion with an almost unerring sense of knowing how not to push. "It's been difficult. But you know me, I'm not going to let anyone have that much control over me. Johnny didn't break me, not twenty years ago and not a month ago. I'm dealing."

Ed nodded, keeping his eyes on the road now. "I wouldn't expect less. Just remember you don't have to 'deal' with it all alone. You've got the whole team on your side; don't forget that. So, you're 'dealing' but is there more? How about Sam? Is he okay? This week that he's been back seems like it's been really tough. He's not himself either. I know the doctor cleared him and he passed his requalifications without trouble but was it too soon? We've both been in his shoes, recovering from the injury is the easy part, mentally getting there can take a little longer."

Jules chewed on her bottom lip. She hadn't realized Sam's lack of sleep as he worried about her dreams had been so evident. Once again, she felt more than a little guilty that her issues were affecting Sam. "So if you were really worried about Sam, why didn't you insist on patrolling with him today instead of me? Shouldn't you be having this conversation with Sam?"

The tips of Ed's ears turned red as he realized she was on to him. "I did and yeah, I should. However, Greg overrode my suggestions about pair-ups today. I think he was worried about things escalating into a hot call status between us."

Jules hid a slight smirk. Ed's and Sam's professional relationship had been rocky almost from the very beginning. Thought Sam really didn't talk to even her about it, she was pretty sure Ed's no-nonsense, protect the team's integrity at all cost, reaction to things reminded Sam in some ways of his father. Just as Sam didn't respond well to the General's heavy handed approach to what he saw as his son's shortcomings, he wasn't any more inclined to accept it from Ed either. Usually their relationship was fine but at times, especially when Sam felt his back was up against the wall with the team leader, he would shut down and not let the older man in no matter how much he might know that Ed was really on his side. "So he put you with me instead? The Boss is slipping a little."

Ed shook his head, silently thinking Greg knew exactly what he was doing. Greg had repeatedly tried to talk to Jules about everything that had happened but she'd rebuffed his attempts in her usual, don't-worry-about-me-I'm-okay manner. He was pretty sure that Greg was counting on the fact that while for some reason Ed's manner seemed to rub Sam the wrong way when trying to get the younger man to open up, he was more likely to reach Jules than the rest of them.

"Maybe; so anything I need to be concerned about?"

The sound that emanated from the young woman in the other seat could only be classified as a snort. He raised an eyebrow, not really expecting that sort of response. "What?"

"Like anything I said would cause you NOT to be concerned even if I say everything is peachy keen. I know you, Ed. You take quiet concern to an art form. But no, there's nothing you should be concerned about. Both Sam and I are dealing okay and we're both more than capable of doing our job. You know how it is, coming back after a forced extended time off isn't easy. Anything you might have noticed with Sam last week was probably just that readjustment period. We both had a very relaxing, good couple of days off so I'm sure you'll see if you watch him today that you see that everything is, if not back to normal, then at least getting there."

Ed nodded, not completely satisfied with the answer but recognizing that it was as much as he could hope to get, at least at the moment. Baring any major hot calls, they would be riding around on patrol together all day. There would be plenty of time to try to ease into the conversation later.

"Fair enough. We've got that training day coming up this weekend. You two are still going to represent Team One, right?"

Jules grinned, glad to see he was changing the subject even if she was sure it wouldn't be for long. "Can't say I'm thrilled with the lecture portions that I know will be interspersed with the fun stuff but hell yeah. Sam and I both have at least a few records to maintain. You seem more than a little invested in this event though, more so than usual. I know Sam and I have some pride on the line but why do I think you have something a little more to lose? Have you and the other Tls been making wagers again? What's on the line this year? It better be something better than last year's wager. There Sam and I were, the ones doing all the work and what did we get for working our asses off? Nothing, and you got treated to a fancy dinner every night for almost a week prepared or delivered by each of the other team leaders. That steak Donovan on Team 7 made you made my mouth water just looking at it but you were too stingy to share even a bite."

"Oh, I think you and Sam will like this one. The winning team doesn't have to worry about performing their part of the monthly station cleaning slash inventory for the foreseeable future. Worth playing for?"

"Hell yeah." The cleaning and inventory of the station was a necessary part of the job but not one they liked at all. It was such a big task that each team was responsible for one part of it each month on a rotating basis. Not having to worry about any of it for one month would be wonderful, not having it until each of the other teams took a turn doing it for them would be a major windfall. "Who's idea was that wager?"

"Donna's. She seems to think her teammates have what it takes this year to beat the two of you." The sly grin and teasing quality to his tone clearly showed what he thought of her belief.

Jules shook her head. "Donna, Donna, Donna, I thought she knew better. You would think after working with Team One, she would know the folly of that notion."

Ed laughed. For a moment any worry that he'd been harboring about how Jules was coping disappeared. She was as relaxed and carefree as he'd seen her since before any knowledge of what her uncle had done came out. "You'll remind her. And if not, then I'm making you and Sam complete Team One's fulfillment of the wager."

"Team One, we've got a 9-1-1 reporting a home invasion at 527 Elmhurst. The residence belongs to Andrew and Barbara Nettles. Neighbor making the call says she saw a masked man forcing his way inside the house next door to her."

Ed and Jules exchanged a look. They were only a couple of blocks away. Jules keyed her mike. "Winnie, Ed and I are in the vicinity. We'll be the first on the scene."

"Copy that."

"Ed, Jules, proceed with caution. Once you are on scene, make the judgment call on your action plan. If there is an immediate threat to the home owners, do what you have to do, otherwise standby for the rest of us." Greg's warning was predictable but necessary. Jules acknowledged his order as Ed pulled up in front of the address.

As the two SRU officers stepped out of the vehicle, a woman rushed up to them. They presumed she was the one who had made the 9-1-1 call. "Officers, thank God you're here. You've got to stop him before he hurts Barbara."

Ed nodded. "Can you tell us exactly what you saw?"

"At first it wasn't what I saw but what I heard. I was lugging the trash cans up from the street. I can't see through the hedge between our houses but I heard everything. He was yelling at her and telling her all these vile things he was going to do to her. Poor Barbara. She sounded so scared when she screamed at him to go away and to not hurt her. I raced back inside and called 9-1-1 and then ran upstairs. During the day when Barbara and Andy's curtains are open I can see into their bedroom from mine. He'd taken her there and I saw him tearing her shirt off."

Ed thanked her and asked her to return to her house but to stay away from the bedroom. Then he looked at Jules, they knew without discussion what they had to do. The victim might not have time to wait. Ed keyed his mike. "Boss, it appears the victim is in immediate danger. Jules and I are going to gain access to the house and further assess the situation. We'll proceed as necessary to protect the victim and contain the situation."

"Copy that. Be careful and keep the channel open. We'll be there in five."

With their Glocks drawn and at the ready, Jules and Ed swiftly approached the house. The front door was closed but unlocked giving them quick and quiet access. Silently, they made their way up the stairs. They could hear the sounds of a struggle coming from a room at the end of the long hallway.

"Bitch, you like this don't you? So wet and ready for me, you little slut. I'm going to fuck you so hard your eyes will bulge out. And you're going to enjoy every minute of it. Aren't you, whore?"

Jules felt her stomach turn but she pushed the reaction aside. There wasn't time to think about her own feelings, not while there was a woman in danger. She peered around the doorframe getting a glimpse inside the room. She could see a man wearing a mask standing over the bed that was currently holding his victim captive. His pants were still on but had obviously been unzipped. The woman was sprawled out with her hands tied to the headboard with what looked like silk ties. Her legs were similarly restrained to the bed post leaving her spread eagle and on display for her attacker. There was a blindfold around her eyes and a gag in her mouth. In contrast to her attacker, her clothes had all been removed. As Jules watched, the man straddled the woman's body and there was little doubt as to what he was doing to her.

Jules glanced back at Ed. Her voice was barely a whisper, knowing the mike would pick it up and amplify it enough that he and the rest of the team would hear. "He's raping her."

"We got medics en-route. The victim's safety is priority. Eddie, the two of you have Scorpio if you need it but try to end things peacefully if you can."

Ed held up five fingers to Jules indicating they would proceed on the count of five. Slowly he lowered one finger at a time until only his fist remained. Jules took a deep breath as they burst intoroom.

"Move away from her now. Right now! Do it now!" Ed's voice was loud and demanding.

"Shit! Fuck! Don't shoot! Please!" The assailant stiffened but didn't pull away from the woman he was attacking. She squirmed beneath him but there was no way of knowing what she was screaming beneath the gag other than one muffled cry for help.

Ed pulled him away from the woman, dislodging him from his position inside her as quickly as he could without harming the woman further. Jules kept her gun trained on the man as Ed forced him to his knees and wrenched his hands around his back in order to handcuff him. He ripped off the man's mask. Once the subject was secured, Ed motioned toward the woman indicating Jules should take care of her.

Jules holstered her weapon and moved to the bed. Knowing that at any second the room could be full of men, she used a sheet to cover the woman's naked body. Her stomach was turning somersaults but she refused to pay it attention. She couldn't think of parallels to what happened to her and what was happening here. She had a job to do and she was currently the best one to help the traumatized woman.

"Ma'am? Barbara? I'm Jules Callaghan with the Metro Police Strategic Response Unit. You are safe now. Okay? I'm going to untie you. You are safe." The woman might not be able to see or speak until Jules removed the bonds that held her but she could hear. Jules knew how helpless it felt to be in such a position so she wanted to assure her as much as possible.

"It's not what it looks like." The subject proclaimed, almost sobbing. "I wasn't hurting her. She wanted everything that was happening. It's all a mistake. This wasn't supposed to happen."

Jules looked to Ed, her eyes blazing. What was it with sadistic men who believed that women were asking to be hurt and raped? Ed jerked him to his feet and forced him from the room, not even giving the man the opportunity to fix his pants and cover his manhood which had lost its arousal with SRU's arrival. Ed wasn't as concerned with the man's dignity as Jules had been for the victim. The last thing Barbara needed to hear was him spouting off how she had deserved to be raped. The would be rapist struggled against Ed's hold and pulled free. As he took two steps back toward Barbara, Jules reached for her TAZER and fired. The prongs caught the assailant in the right shoulder and as he went down to his knees in agony. She released the charge. Ed pulled the prongs free of the man and practically had to drag him out of the room, the fight all out of the man.

Ejecting the spent cartridge, Jules returned the stun device to its holster and wished she could release all the ties that held Barbara at the same time. The woman was obviously frightened as she struggled against her bonds. It was as if she either hadn't heard Jules's reassurance that she was okay or didn't believe her as her struggles seemed worse now than when she was being attacked. Sensing that maybe it was better to undo the binds to the woman's eyes first, Jules quickly untied the knots that held the tie in place.

Tears poured down Barbara's face. Jules resisted the urge to wipe them away; the last thing this woman needed was more touches she hadn't asked for. Hearing her scream into the gag, Jules went for that next. Even in the short amount of time the woman had been gagged, her mouth was dry and forming actual words that made sense was difficult.

"Where…What?"

"It's okay. Your neighbor saw what was happening and called us. Just relax and don't try to talk just yet. I'm going to finish untying you and by then the paramedics should be here. We're going to get you to the hospital and get you checked out."

Jules reached up to release the ties that held the woman's arms. There were three ribbons, one each of red, yellow, and green, loosely tied to the headboard on either side of her hands. She wondered briefly about them but ignored them in order to unfasten the more important bonds. Barbara's tears increased. "No!… husband."

"Winnie," Jules spoke into the headset. "See if you can't get a number for Andy Nettles; get him en-route here."

"Already on it, Jules. I've tried his work number but his coworkers say he took the day off. I've been trying his cell with no luck. I'll keep trying."

Having freed Barbara's hands, Jules started to move to the end of the bed to do the same for her feet. As she did, she managed to catch a glimpse of a photograph on the nightstand. Her heart skipped a beat. It wasn't possible. It shouldn't be possible but the proof was staring back at her and couldn't be refuted. She turned her back on Barbara as she whispered into the headset.

"Guys, I know where Andy Nettles is."

"Where?" One word but at least two different voices as both Greg and Ed responded.

"Our subject. The man who broke in and was raping her is her husband." After releasing the right foot, Jules moved to the other side of the bed to free the left foot as well. As soon as it was free, the woman kicked out, catching Jules square in the stomach. More surprised than injured, Jules folded and sought to catch her breath as the woman scrambled off the bed clutching the sheet to her body and stumbled out of the bedroom.

Straightening, Jules took off after her, warning Ed that the victim had bolted. In the hallway, she saw that Ed hadn't taken his prisoner far but had at least repositioned the man's clothes so that he was covered. Andy Nettles hadn't fully recovered from the TAZER blast and was sobbing piteously. Barbara had collapsed beside him and was hugging him tightly. She glared first at Ed and then back at Jules.

"You have no right. What did you do to him? Why is he handcuffed? You can't arrest him. He didn't do anything."

Ed knelt beside her, careful not to touch her. "Ma'am, I get that you are upset and you've just been through a terrible experience. It's okay now and we're going to sort this out. Please, why don't you go with Constable Callaghan until the medics can check you. You don't have to go back in that bedroom. She can help you downstairs if you'd rather."

"No! You don't understand! He wasn't raping me. Not really. It was all an act. He was only doing what I asked him to do."

- FP - FP - FP -

"Ed, Jules, anything either of you want to add?" Sarge asked as he finished reading the transcript to the hot call they'd just completed.

"Nothing to add. The transcript was pretty clear how it all went down." There was nothing in Jules's voice that seemed out of place. Nothing to suggest that this call had been any different from any other hot call Team One had been on. Nothing in her posture indicated that she was on edge or uncomfortable. This could have been any debrief after any call. Could have been but Sam knew better.

Ed didn't add anything either and the Sarge nodded. "Okay then, even though things turned out okay, it was still a tough call. Ed and Jules, it couldn't have been easy to be in that situation but you handled it exactly like I would expect you to. I'm proud of both of you. Now, rather than go out on patrol again, I think we'll spend the next couple of hours around the station. Ed and I have to have a strategy meeting with Winters from Narcotics about that warrant the team will be serving this afternoon. Provided things stay quiet and we don't get another call, everyone should just stick close and stay lose."

Almost as if the call had left a bad taste in everyone's mouth, no one wanted to stick around. Spike was the first to rise, muttering something about Babycakes not working to his satisfaction and needing to figure out what was wrong. Raf was the next one out, claiming he'd use the time to get in an extra workout. Before Greg and Ed left out for their meeting, Ed asked Sam if he wanted to hit the shooting range later. Sam nodded almost absently. He continued to sit there long after the rest of the team had filed out. He stayed because Jules was still rooted in her seat.

Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, Sam reached over and squeezed her arm. "Jules?"

She didn't pull her arm free but she didn't look at him later. "I'm okay, Sam. We responded on what we thought was a dangerous situation. We acted in accordance to protocol and it turned out to be a false alarm. No one was hurt and everything's fine."

She pushed her chair back with a scrap before Sam could say anything. Sam released her arm as she stood up, knowing she wasn't going to say anything else about it, at least not then. If she didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to force her-yet. As she started out of the briefing room she paused behind his chair and laid a hand gently on his shoulder. "Thanks, Sam." She didn't elaborate on what she was thanking him for but Sam heard what she wasn't saying. They knew each other well, and she knew he knew she wasn't as okay with things as she wanted to pretend. He knew it and probably knew she needed to talk but he also knew she wasn't ready. There was a time he would have pressured her regardless but she was glad he was giving her time to work things through for herself.

He reached up and took the hand on his shoulder in his own. Again, looking around to make sure the coast was clear, he lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. He wanted to offer her more but those kinds of kisses and touches would wait until they were off shift and back in couple rather than coworker mode. She allowed her hand to linger there for a second before pulling away and leaving the room.

Slowly Sam stood. As he stepped into the hallway, he didn't see Jules. He wasn't surprised; she needed the time to really process what had happened in that house earlier. There was no question that she processed things like that better by getting away by herself. Instead of following where he knew instinctively she'd gone, he headed to the gun range. He'd shoot later with Ed if that's what the team leader wanted, but for now, he needed to release some energy of his own.

He put on his ear protection and shooting glasses. Why was it that just when things looked like they were about to take a turn for the better, life seemed determined to knock them back down? Staring at the target at the end of the range, Sam lined up his shot and emptied the clip into a tight pattern right in the paper heart. Two days off, a visit to Luria, and a wonderful night out hadn't fixed their problems with sleeping but things did seem to be getting better. Their talk about how Jules subconsciously feared losing him hadn't eliminated all of her nightmares but it did seem to Sam that they had lessened in intensity.

He removed the empty clip and replaced it with a fully loaded one. Taking a steadying breath, he once more aimed and fired. His own sleep wasn't completely untroubled either. He managed to sleep through most of the night but he still couldn't prevent himself from suddenly waking up in a near panic needing to check that she was okay but at least he was having an easier time getting back to sleep afterward.

He wasn't sure how many clips and targets he'd gone through when a strong hand clamped down on his shoulder. He set his gun on the shelf in front of him and removed the ear protection. He looked at Ed.

"Sorry, I didn't wait."

Ed shook his head. "No problem. Jules handled herself well today. Not that I expected anything less."

Sam nodded, not sure where Ed was going. The older man sighed and continued. "Sometimes as Team Leader, the biggest battle you face is weighing the risk to the team versus the safety of the public. Sometimes it's easy, we take the risk of getting shot in order to protect the life of the victim and sometimes even that of the subject. There are times though when it's harder to justify to myself let alone the rest of you the risks we have to take. Whether it's my order or not, essentially everything that happens on a call is my responsibility because I'm Team Leader. So many calls I wish I could go back and issue a different order so one of my team doesn't get hurt."

Ed had never really opened up to Sam like this before and Sam wasn't really sure what to say. "Ed, we all know the risks and we all accept them. We do this job because we're needed and we're good at it. You may be Team Leader but the outcome of calls isn't always on you. You know that."

Ed shrugged. "I wanted to order Jules to remain in the truck today. According to what the neighbor had said, I knew- or at least I thought I knew- what we were going to find. I don't know all the details of what happened the day Jules was attacked and I don't want to know, not because I don't care but because I can't think about someone hurting her. I do know that sending her in on a probable rape case seemed cruel and inhumane. I wanted to spare her that."

"She wouldn't want you to do that." Sam argued, knowing Jules would be the first to say the same thing. "You know Jules; she'd be mad as hell if you treated her with kid gloves on a call like that. Especially one where as a female, she was in the best position to help the victim."

Ed nodded solemnly. "I know and that's why I pushed my initial instinct down. Sam, she was a pro up there. If I hadn't known she'd been through something similar, there would have been nothing in her actions, expression, or even her words to indicate it. I know things ended up being totally different from what we thought. Barbara Nettles wasn't being raped but I don't think the images we saw when we first burst into that room are going to leave my head for awhile. I can't begin to image what it was like for Jules."

Sam wasn't about to say he agreed with Ed, although he completely did. Instead he met the other man's gaze steadily. "I'm sure like the rest of us, she's grateful that a woman didn't have to go through what she went through. I'm sure she's glad things worked out peacefully without anyone being hurt. You've worked with Jules long enough to know she's not going to let her personal feelings interfere with the job."

Again Ed nodded. "Yeah, I do know that. I also know that no matter how much we want to leave calls in the debriefing room, it doesn't happen that way. The what-ifs, the why-didn't-Is, and just the general what-the-hell-was-someone-thinkings stay with us long after the call is over. I just want to make sure, both as a team leader and as a friend, that Jules knows we're here for her through all of it."

"Why are you telling me this instead of Jules?"

Ed almost chuckled thinking of how Jules had made almost the same accusation to him earlier about his concerns about Sam. They really were made for each other. He was glad Jules had Sam and vice versa. "I would but I can't find her. I was kind of hoping she was here with you. I could have Winnie track her down but I don't want her to feel like we're checking up on her. We know how much Jules would love that."

"How long before we serve that warrant?" Sam asked noncommittally.

Ed checked his watch. "About an hour."

"Let's shoot a few rounds together and then I'll go talk to her." Sam promised.

- FP - FP - FP -

Jules stared down at the street as she leaned over the railing of the building. There hadn't been so much as a breeze blowing that she could detect when she'd been at street level. Everything had been as still as could be. It was so different now that she was so many floors up. Here on the roof of the SRU building the wind was really whipping around. It was like it fiercely wanted to pull her apart. She didn't mind its fury; it seemed to match her mood perfectly. The only concession she'd made to its potential danger was to click her safety strap into place on the railing.

Everything about the call earlier had been of a woman being raped. She couldn't erase the image of Barbara being bound and gagged naked on her bed as a masked man violated her savagely. Even though Sam's timely arrival had prevented her from completely meeting the same fate that was playing out in front of her, it hadn't changed the humiliation and pain she'd suffered. Humiliation and pain that no woman should have to face.

There was a clink of metal against metal and then strong familiar arms wrapped around her waist. The hold she found herself in was one meant to be comforting not protective though it had taken her awhile to learn to tell the difference. She was sure the image she'd presented was enough to make anyone nervous. Here she was standing at the edge of a high-storied building almost leaning over the edge. How many calls had they responded to where someone was in a similar position but for different reasons? Then again, not everything was the way it appeared. Today's call had been a big reminder of that.

She relaxed against him. "Finally found me, huh?"

Sam tightened his hold on her. "Didn't have to look for you. I knew as soon as you left the briefing room, you'd be up here."

She twisted her head to look up at him, her expression puzzled. "How? I didn't even know where I was going until I was here."

He kissed her cheek, feeling a little more free to express his affections up here away from potentially prying but well-meaning eyes. "Because I know you. We all have our little routines or go-to places after certain calls, the ones that take a little longer to shake than the rest. The Boss squirrels himself away in the briefing room and pours over the transcripts searching for answers that just might not be there. Spike loses himself in some sort of upgrade or imaginary repair on Babycakes. Raf pounds the punching bag like it had personally offended him. Ed and I go through more clips at the shooting range than would normally take a couple of months for us to expend."

He was absolutely right though she'd never really thought about it much. Why hadn't she ever made that connection? She frowned. "It's not like I come up here all that often though. It's not like this is my spot or anything."

Sam shrugged, the gesture almost reassuring against the back of her body. He was a little amused that she was trying to protest his knowledge of her. Didn't she know that she was his favorite subject of study? "No, only for certain calls. You're probably the only one of us that changes the routine you have depending on how the call has affected you. That's why it took me longer to figure you out, but after several years I think I know you pretty well. If you feel like you did something wrong or you're on edge, you take to the gym until you've exhausted whatever demon is weighing you down or you feel like you've sufficiently punished yourself enough. I almost hate those call the most because you are way damn harder on yourself than you should be. If the call got out of hand and we had to make choices we didn't like or wouldn't normally do, you're the first one to the shooting range. You point and shoot at targets until you get back the control you feel like you lost on the call. You only come up here when you can't make sense of something. Wasn't hard to figure out which one fit here."

"So if you knew where I was all this time, why did it take you so long to come here after me?" There was no accusation and no anger in her voice, just curiosity.

"You needed the time to think and you didn't need me or anyone else giving you a hard time about it. I wouldn't have come up here now but we'll have to leave out on that warrant delivery soon. While I wanted to give you all the time you needed I figured you'd rather have me come up here than have Ed or the Boss hunt you down."

For a long minute, Jules didn't say anything. Then she shook her head, rubbing her arms against the brisk wind. "Why?"

Sam knew she wasn't asking the question in response to his statement. She was still trying to figure out the call that had brought her to the roof in the first place. He just wasn't sure exactly what why she was questioning. "Why what, Jules?"

"I know what it's like to be restrained and blindfolded as a living monster subverts what's supposed to be a beautiful expression of love into something wicked and horrible. Rape in whatever form it comes in is possibly the worst thing a woman could ever have to go through. As tough as I think I am, it's been a struggle to over come its effects. When we first got to that bedroom today, the words he was saying to Barbara were sickening. The way he'd tied her up, blindfolded and gagged her was horrible and then it got so much worse. It was cruel and vicious and wrong. He was her husband. He took vows where he promised to love and honor her but there was nothing loving or honorable in his actions. When I realized her husband was the one doing this to her, my blood ran cold. I thought about how you've been there for me, how you made it so much easier for me to recover, how at a time when I wasn't sure I could trust anyone I knew I could trust you. Alan Nettles was supposed to be that guy for Barbara, not the one hurting her."

Sam remained silent, knowing she needed to vent even if she hadn't quite gotten to her why. His strong arms stayed encircled around her body wanting to give her whatever she needed. He couldn't fix this, wouldn't know how if he could. He also knew she wasn't looking for him to fix anything but just needed to get it off her chest. That he could do.

"When she first started defending him, I couldn't understand it. How do you defend the indefensible? I know it happens; I know there are women willing to forgive the men they love who hurt them. That would have been hard enough to accept but it was even worse. She asked him- no, she wanted him - to do those things to her. I don't understand why. Why would someone want to be hurt like that?"

Sam tightened his hold on her. "I don't think she wanted to be hurt; as bad as it looked, I don't think her husband was really hurting her. Those ribbons loosely tied to the headboard that you mentioned in the transcript that you noticed? I think that's what they were for, they were her way to keep their role playing safe and to maintain control. Since she was gagged, if she changed her mind, she could pull the ribbon. I'm betting red was stop and yellow was slow down and the green was to continue. Sort of their version of 'walrus.' I'm not going to pretend I understand it, Jules, 'cause I don't. All I really know is this kind of thing is what I've heard and have been told on the subject. Some women apparently have this fantasy about being forced."

Jules shuddered. "I can't imagine how any woman would want to be raped."

"I don't think it comes down to wanting to be raped, at least not in the sense like it happened to you. From what I've heard it's more of a romanticized idea of a potentially dangerous nonconsensual experience becoming loving and consensual. Like I said, I don't understand it."

"I could have shot him. He was lunging back to her and my hand could have gone for either my Glock or my TAZER. For a split second I was going to go lethal. I had the Scorpio if I needed it and he was threatening the victim. I would have been justified in shooting him. I don't even know why I changed my mind and went less lethal. If I'd shot him, I would have killed an innocent man. Scorpio or not, how could I justify that?"

He thought about that day in Afghanistan when he'd made that shot that changed everything for him. Performing his sniper duties had maybe become routine for him but never easy. Then when the smoke had settled and he'd discovered that Matt had been hit instead; his world had been rocked. It didn't matter that he'd been cleared to fire and wouldn't be held accountable for Matt's death, at least not by the military; nothing would change the fact that his friend was dead and he'd been the one that pulled the trigger that caused his death. Nobody or nothing could absolve him from the full accountability of that.

"Fortunately, it didn't come to that." Sam offered instead. It wasn't as reassuring as he wanted it to be and it sounded like a cop out even to his ears. He wouldn't and couldn't minimize her feelings, not when she had ever right to them. It didn't matter that he or anyone else on the team wouldn't have faulted her if she'd made a different decision based only on what they had known at the time and what she was witnessing, it wouldn't change her perception of it. Even though things had worked out well in the end, it didn't change the fact that the call could have had a much tragic end. What should have been a private interaction between husband and wife had almost ruined so many lives. Reminding her that it hadn't happened wouldn't erase that knowledge from her mind.

Both of their phones chirped and Sam frowned knowing the rest of the team was probably waiting for them so they could serve the warrant. He kissed the tip of her nose as they both reached to unclip their safety line. As they walked across the rooftop to reach the door, they coiled the line and returned it to its location on their uniforms. Just before they entered the stairwell, Sam put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Jules, I know you don't understand why Barbara Nettles did what she did. You don't have to. You don't even have to like it. Just do me a favor, put it out of your mind for now. Dwelling on it isn't going to give you any answers. If you want, we'll talk more about it tonight after we get off shift. If not, we'll go home and I'll do everything possible to make you forget everything that happened."

She wanted to melt into his arms but knew it was time for them to be professional. Instead she nodded. "That second option sounds perfect. Come on, Braddock, let's go keep the peace."

- FP -

Author's Notes 2: Even as I was writing this, I had my doubts, not about the path the story was taking but how it might be perceived. It's something that exists and I hope I handled it sensitively enough not to offend anyone. It's going to come back later as Jules continues to put what happened behind her. Again, I hope it hasn't put anyone off on reading the rest of the story.