For Better or Worse

Part 10

Reading guide

Italic - thoughts

"Normal speech"

'Quoted speech, words etc.'

"Sasuke, what I am trying to say is that I have a son."

The silence was too much that Neji could hear his own heart pounding in his ears like a countdown gong. The anticipation for Sasuke's response was killing him. Sasuke hadn't said anything since Neji had said he has a son. He desperately wanted to know what was going on in Sasuke's head; what he thought of Neji now. What he planned to do?

Neji tried to comfort himself by telling himself that he would understand if Sasuke decides not to get involved with him. Anyone wouldn't want to get involved with someone who had a child from another relationship. But the one thing Neji would definitely not understand would be if Sasuke were to make him chose between him and his son. Neji knew Sasuke would never do that. But at this point, with all the surprises, for lack of a better word, that Neji had brought into their relationship he wouldn't be surprised if Sasuke were to just say to hell with him.

Nonetheless, Neji prayed for Sasuke's understanding. He hoped Sasuke wouldn't say to hell with Neji and everything else.

When the silence persisted, Neji lost his patience.

"Sasuke say something, please."

The response that he got from Sasuke wasn't what he had expected.

Sasuke laughed humourlessly.

"Are you kidding me!" Sasuke yelled when his laughter died down. Neji didn't say anything.

Sasuke closed his eyes to try and block out the tears he knew were about to fall. When he felt that he had them under control, he opened his eyes and just stared at Neji; he tried to figure out if Neji was just fooling with him. Neji's stare told him that he wouldn't find anything else other than what Neji had in his eyes; honesty. Neji wasn't lying one bit. This was all happening and it was as real as they come.

Yet again, Sasuke found himself thinking that this was becoming ridiculous.

"Sigh, this is becoming ridiculous." He said nonchalantly. Frankly, Sasuke didn't know what to feel. Betrayed? Already there. Resigned? Could be. Angry? Would you really ask that in this situation?

Neji said nothing; he didn't want to try and get himself out of the situation; it was what it was and he wasn't going to try and make it less of what it was.

Sasuke went and sat at the edge of the bed facing away from Neji. He rested his legs on the floor and he rested his elbows on his legs. Sasuke leaned his forehead in his hands.

He couldn't believe this was happening. Oh wait, scratch that, he could believe this was happening. In all his time since meeting Neji, a lot of things had taken place that Sasuke could never believe that they would happen while he was involved. Being dominant by nature, Sasuke couldn't count the amount of times he had submitted to Neji in more ways than one; that had happened. Due to other circumstances, Sasuke never trusted anyone other than his brother, but Neji had gained that trust without a sweat, that had happened.

And the biggest of the all happenings, Sasuke had one that he still couldn't believe, and that was his falling in love with Neji and confessing to him. That had happened. Damn it! Sasuke didn't think Neji could surprise him anymore. But alas! Since when had anything concerning him and Neji had gone according to his wishes since he had started dating Neji?

Sasuke had never been a kids' person. Really, since he had realised that he would never be with a woman, Sasuke hadn't thought that far into family. Well, that is until his brother decided to adopt kids about a month ago. That is when Sasuke had felt like he was missing something; he wished he could have children of his own. At one point, he had even begun thinking how it would be like to have a family of his own; just him and Neji and an adopted kid or kids. He had even wondered what a kid born from Neji would be like. Or what it would be like to have a kid born from him?

They could have adopted or if they wanted kids connected to them, they could have had a surrogate mother. Although the idea of a surrogate mother made Sasuke a little uncomfortable; what if the mother got attached to the baby? That meant involving a third person into the relationship; Sasuke didn't like that idea. So adopting it was.

Despite his wishful thinking, Neji already had a son; Sasuke hadn't been involved in the whole process. From what Neji had said of when it had happened, Sasuke knew the child was three years old. Three years. Sasuke was already an outsider, he would have loved to have been there, raising the baby from birth together with Neji; the baby would have recognised him as family, now he would be a stranger to Neji's child.

And the question is. Where did he fit in in all of this? How would he fit in with Neji and his child?

Sasuke felt betrayed that Neji had gone ahead in what could have been their future. But there was nothing he could do about it now, was there?

Sasuke sighed as he flopped on his back onto the bed; he felt completely drained, powerless and very much useless.

Sure Neji had a son. So what? Could it be that Neji had wanted to let him be a part of his son's world for inviting him here? Or was it to rub it in his face that, although he had abandoned Neji, Neji had found an anchor in someone else.

Sasuke had two choices; he could stay with Neji and see where he fit in, in Neji and his son's life or he could just say 'to hell with everything' and walk out right now and never look back.

"Neji" Sasuke called out while staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah, Sasuke?" Neji responded quickly. God, he was a nervous wreck; Sasuke hadn't said anything since he had said 'this is becoming ridiculous'. Neji had now convinced himself that Sasuke would say to hell with him.

And now here it comes… Neji thought dejectedly.

When he knew that he had Neji's attention, Sasuke began.

"Neji, I am still not sure how I feel about this whole situation. Dear god, being with you is like being on a rollercoaster. And I'm still not used to the rush feeling of it. Sometimes I don't even know what is up or what is down. And at times I feel like I am living someone else's life. I don't like not knowing what my future holds, I don't like surprises. And I definitely do not like sharing. That means from now on it will just be me and you in this relationship. But right now, I don't know how I fit into your and your son's life, but I would like to see how I fit in. you might have told me about your son for other… I don't know, reason. But whatever the reason… "

"Sasuke, what are you trying to say? Get to the point please." Neji was hopeful, a little bit, he didn't want to hope too much and then fall off cloud nine.

"What I am trying to say is that, I am afraid that I want to stay, here with you and see where I fit in with your son. As long as there won't be any more surprises of this kind. No fiancées or wives or husbands. Just you and me."

"Sasuke… are you sure? I know this was all unplanned. But it happened and I regret everything but my son. I don't regret the end result that is my son. And I understand that it won't be easy and if at any point you feel like you have had enough, well… you know"

"Neji?"

"What is it?"

"You are talking too much, we can make this work, right? Just you and me, the way it was supposed to be in the start. Now shut up and come over here and kiss me." Neji felt warm all over at Sasuke's words.

Just the two of us. It was nice to hear that but,

"Erm.. Sasuke, we really need to talk about this further…"

"For god's sake Hyuuga, don't make me ask you again" Sasuke said in a warning tone.

"At your command, your highness." Neji said with a smile as he lay on his stomach and held himself up on his elbows. He leaned closer to Sasuke and kissed him upside down. Sasuke brought his arm up and wound it around Neji's neck. Then he glided his fingers on Neji's nape slowly; the way he remembered Neji liking it. The kiss was gentle, no aggressiveness in it or desperation.

When they pulled apart, Neji rested his forehead onto Sasuke's and breathed in the scent that was Sasuke. A mix of Sasuke's favourite cologne which was Prada Infusion d'Homme Cologne which smelt like expensive soap, a rich and subtle composition which stays close to the skin and makes a style statement with a lot of sophistication, very classy. The cologne made Neji want to cling to Sasuke. And the other scent which was just Sasuke; it drove him wild. God, he had missed that scent.

"I missed you." Neji said honestly. His eyes stung with unshed tears; he couldn't believe Sasuke had accepted them; him and his son.

"I know… me too. I missed you."

"Sasuke…" Neji sighed Sasuke's name. "I want to feel you"

"Then what are you doing? Come up here and let me kiss you properly." Sasuke was in the dominant mood; all he wanted was to make Neji feel everything he could give; to make him cry out his name like he used to when Sasuke touched him before. Now though, Sasuke didn't want to just touch him, Sasuke wanted Neji to feel him inside and for him to feel Neji wrap around him; to become one again; to lose their mind for just that moment where nothing else mattered and it was just the two of them as one. Sasuke wanted to confirm that this was really Neji; his Neji.

Sasuke shifted up the bed so that now his whole body was on the bed. His rested his head on the pillows as he waited for Neji to come to him. Neji crawled up to Sasuke until his face was above Sasuke's. He held himself up on both his hands caging Sasuke's head in.

He looked into Sasuke's eyes and raised an eyebrow. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders in a gesture that said, 'well? What are you waiting for?'

When Neji didn't say anything else but just stared at him questioningly, Sasuke voiced his question. "Well?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

Neji smirked then he said,

"Bossy much, aren't you?"

"Well I am your boss"

"No, you are my Sasu-chan." His smirk widened as Sasuke narrowed his eyes and frowned.

"Neji" Sasuke said in warning.

"Well. What makes you think you can boss me around, I am older than you."

Sasuke chuckled as his eyes travelled from Neji's eyes, to his smirking lips, down his pale neck. Sasuke stared at Neji's loose tie and a million scenarios played in his head of how he could use that tie on Neji. Dismissing that thought for now, Sasuke's eyes travelled further down Neji's body. Then, his eyes met with Neji's bulge and Sasuke couldn't resist touching. With his right hand, Sasuke grabbed Neji. Neji gasped and his arms buckled.

Sasuke smirked up at Neji.

"This is what makes me think I can boss you around" to emphasis his statement, Sasuke squeezed Neji's growing bulge. For his troubles, Neji dropped his forehead onto his and licked Sasuke's lips in a moan.

"How come you are already hard? It was just one small kiss, Neji. Did you miss me that much?"

Cocky bastard! Neji screamed in his head.

Well it was good to know that Sasuke's arrogant attitude hadn't changed; that wouldn't be Sasuke if he were all nice. But, this? this was new, even though Sasuke was dominant by nature, he had never taken charge in their relationship; it had always been Neji initiating things, and of course in bed, it had always been Neji, topping. This was different and Neji could admit that he kinder liked it. Okay fine, he loved it so sue him.

"Speak for yourself" Neji breathed out against Sasuke's lips. Not yet kissing him. Neji wanted to see how far Sasuke would go. Would he stay dominant all the way? Or would he stop the minute Neji took control.

Frankly, for once Neji didn't want to be in control; he wanted someone to take control, namely Sasuke. All Neji had done all his life was stay in control, take control, be in charge. No. not this time.

Sasuke seemed to understand him without words because the next thing Neji realised was that he was on his back with Sasuke on top of him, pressing into him. Sasuke held Neji's hands to his side with hands.

In one swift move, Sasuke had managed to locate himself between Neji's legs. Still holding Neji down, Sasuke lifted Neji's arms up and held both of Neji's wrists in his one hand. Neji didn't struggle, but there was some resistance.

Sasuke stared at Neji's glazed eyes; willing him to submit, Neji still resisted. Sasuke guessed it was something to do with his dominant nature unwilling to submit. That only fuelled Sasuke's need to make Neji submit to him.

As he was thinking of what to do Next to make sure that Neji wouldn't stop him or distract him, Sasuke remembered the tie. He almost giggled in glee like a little kid in a candy store. He hooked his fingers on Neji's tie and pulled it loose. Keeping his eyes to Neji's, Sasuke wound the tie around Neji's wrists, Neji struggle to get free.

Okay maybe he didn't like submitting after all.

"Sasuke, what are you doing?" he was a little scared of Sasuke now, Sasuke had tied his wrists together above his head. But now he just stayed on his knees; he was just staring at Neji with lust glazed eyes. He looked like he was about to eat Neji whole.

"Urm Sasuke? Come on, you don't have to tie me up…" Neji crooned to Sasuke.

"No way, I like you like that. You stay like that until I'm finished with you"

" Sasuke, this is not funny, come on…"

"No" Sasuke responded firmly.

"Why do I have to be tied up?"

"Because you won't let yourself lose control that is why. This way, I can do whatever I want without you interfering."

"That is exactly what I am scared of."

"You are scared of me?"

"No…but… Sasuke we have never done this before"

"So you would rather we do it the way we always did? If that is what you want then we are going to do it your way. But can't you trust me a little?"

"Sasuke, that's not it. I do trust you, it's just that, you know… you know me, I like being in control and this, this is a little you know. But I am trying to go with it, but still…"

"Just let go okay, you will be fine, trust me. Just let me take control this once, we can go back to always after this once, okay, besides, I like you taking control of me" as he said that Sasuke ground his hard clothed cock against Neji's.

"Mmm… Sasuke, we don't have to do it only once…it's just that, this will be a first, in everything" Neji knew his face was red now.

"Oh." Was all Sasuke could say, when he realised what Neji meant.

"You have never tried touching yourself down here, have you?" Sasuke rubbed his fingers below Neji's balls close to his hole.

"No, and I haven't been with anyone, since that time with her. And I'm clean if you are wondering, I went to get tasted, Sasuke." Might as well get everything into the open.

"I'm clean too, I haven't been with anyone else since four years ago." Then something dawn on him.

They both stared at each other.

Sasuke was the first to speak.

"You don't happen to have condoms do you?"

"No. but that's not what you are asking is it?"

"No, well, does this mean, we can do it without like we used to?"

"Yeah, well, I have never bought condoms in my life, our first times had been with each other anyway."

"So you are okay with me taking control?" Neji realised that while they had been talking, Sasuke had been running his hand on his body, and he had relaxed into the touch. He wasn't as scared as he had been. Maybe he could let go…

TBC