Hi lovelies. This is the penultimate chapter to Curaçao Dreaming. That little story I had no idea where it was going, and which is now coming full circle. This is author bittersweet rambling that you're reading right there.
Not much to say about this chapter, I'll write an essay on my feelings about this fic for the last chapter, next week.
I really hope you enjoy the reading.
When they got to the hospital, Eric and Jenny were already there. Serena was instantly taken in, and brought to a room. All the others followed, most of them anxious, Jenny casually typing on her phone.
Serena started getting contractions, but it was merely noticeable to the others. Otherwise, she was just the same Serena, light headed and laughing, making jokes. The only time they were reminded that she was in labor was when she snapped at the nurse who had asked everyone to leave the room. Serena threatened to go have the baby on the beach if the nurse didn't let them stay.
So they stayed with her, playing chess, telling jokes, Eric and Jenny telling about their previous crazy night in a nightclub. Nate was sitting in a chair next to Serena's bed, and he was holding her hand. Dan could see that the grasp was tight, but he didn't know whether it showed Serena's nervousness, or Nate's.
Then the contractions started getting closer, and visibly more painful. At one point, in the middle of listing baby names, Serena cringed. She started pushing the air out of her mouth formed in a silent "o", and she released Nate's hand to extend her arm toward Dan.
"Dan, come here" she said, out of breath.
Dan stood up and went by her side, taking her hand.
"Yes?"
"Wait" Serena said.
She held a cry behind her teeth, and her hand clenched around Dan so hard that he actually screamed in pain and kneeled next to her bed.
"What the hell?" he asked, shocked.
"I didn't want to hurt Nate" she explained, falling back onto the bed.
"Of course, hurting me is never a problem" Dan replied, stroking his hand.
He went back to his chair, and Blair reached to take his wounded hand in hers, giving him a compassionate smile. The nurse came back in the room, with the OBGYN.
The doctor looked at everyone in the room with raised eyebrows "This baby must be special. Serena, you look radiant. I notified the team that you do not wish an epidural. Now would be the time to say it, if you wanted to change your mind."
Serena shook her head.
"You're not getting an epidural?" Blair asked, surprised.
"With my past, I'm not getting high on anything that I can't easily find in a corner of Harlem"
The nursed raised condescendingly her eyebrows at Serena.
"What are you looking at?" Serena barked.
"She's kidding" Nate told the doctor.
"I was hoping so" the doctor said. "I'll come back in half an hour to check how the dilatation is going"
Dan and Eric groaned at the dilatation, as the doctor exited with the nurse. Jenny looked up from her cellphone.
"Serena, do you have any idea how long it's gonna take? Because I met this really cute guy, and he's asking me out for a drink"
"No one is going for a drink as long as this baby doesn't get out of me" Serena said "Tell him you'll be available by three in the morning"
"Latest booty call ever" Nate chuckled.
"So you're not a lesbian anymore?" Dan asked Jenny.
"Was I ever?"
"I should have been a lesbian" Serena said, tired "I wouldn't be going through all of this"
"Hey, come on, you're doing great" Nate kissed her on the forehead, stroking her hair "We are going to be so, so happy"
Serena nodded, showing that she believed him. The others exchanged an understanding look.
"We'll leave you guys" Blair said.
Serena protested at first, but they insisted on leaving her to rest as long as she could, with Nate. They all went to sit in the hallway, except for Jenny who left, still typing on her phone.
Dan and Blair sat on either sides of Eric. They were all silent. Eric probably sensed something, because he looked at Dan, then at Blair, and then stood up to go get a coffee. They both stayed there, sitting and saying nothing, with an empty seat between them just like they did when they started going to the movies together. The fact that it happened so long ago, and that so much happened since then makes those outings look like a dream. A bit of a fantasy.
"Why did you do it?" Blair asked, not looking at him.
Dan knew she was talking about him going to Chuck, and took his time to answer "Because I wanted you to get what you deserve"
"So you think I deserve to die alone?"
"I think you deserve to die happy"
Another silence. Blair read something about those kinds of moments. When there is a silence that is neither awkward, neither tensed, but just there, some cultures say that it's because an angel is flying by. She really wished that if it was true, one would stop and give her guidance. Then she thought, what the hell, she was Blair Waldorf. She'd get her answers herself.
"I am not sure I understand, Dan. What do you want from me?"
Dan looked at her "I don't want anything from you, Blair. Not anymore. But I've reached this point where I know that being mad at you, and hating you won't solve anything. I made a mistake, a long time ago, and now I'm fixing it."
Blair held her breath, released it a bit later.
"Why are you saying that we were a mistake?"
Dan shook his head "I know that it seems narrow-minded and invalid to say that, but I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, Blair. I don't really know how it happened, but I wasn't supposed to. I should have known that we would want different things, that you would never really love me back."
Blair swallowed the lump in her throat and she didn't say anything else. Dan reached over to take her hand in his.
"I'm not saying I regret it. I still really care about you, you know that. It just would have been much better if we had stayed friends; we were great at that. But you know, I don't even think I would have been able to. I tried so many times to kill it, what I felt. But each time it seemed like I was starting to move on, you showed up at my door. Even in the middle of the Atlantic."
Blair laughed a little at that.
"And then, you…" Dan searched for the right words to express his sentiment, but found his thoughts too tangled to form the right sentence. So he decided to borrow one "…you kind of happen to me all over again"
Blair moved from her seat to the one right next to him. She took his arm and passed it around her shoulders, resting her head on his chest. She heard his breathing deepen, and she felt his heartbeat quicken, taping lightly on her cheek.
"I promise to stop then" she said "Someday"
Dan chuckled, and hesitated before pressing a kiss on her temple.
"Take your time"
Eric came back with his coffee, and took Blair's previous seat. He didn't comment their position, but he had the ghost of a smile on his face.
They all stood up two hours later when Serena was moved to the delivery room. They watched her go, all sweaty and scared, and gave her a little kiss. Nate gave them a nervous smile as he followed the nurses rolling Serena's chair.
Night was starting to fall, and the more stars became visible in the sky, the more anxious Blair got. She wished she could be with Serena. She wished the knot in her stomach weren't so tight. Even Dan stroking gently her back didn't reassure her. She wouldn't be until Nate would come and tell them that everything was okay.
Eric fell asleep. Jenny came back, a dreaming smile on her face.
"How is everything going?" she asked in a whisper not to wake up Eric.
"We don't know" Dan said
She shrugged "I'm sure we would have heard if something was wrong. So Dan, I received an e-mail. Guess who's playing in the best club of Soho in two weeks?"
She waited for Dan to raise his eyebrows in inquiry to answer
"Lincoln Hawk"
"What?" Dan sat up, smiling "You're kidding. They want to play again?"
"I actually know some people who would like to see them play, so I arranged it" Jenny nodded "We could turn this into a family trip"
"Definitely" Dan nodded, already excited "Wait, when you say Soho, you mean…"
"Soho of London, of course" Jenny said "Dad will stay at a hotel with the group, and you can crash on my couch. There are a couple of things I'd like to show you in London, so it's fine if you stay a little longer"
Dan sighed in front of Jenny's umpteenth attempt to lure him out of New York, and far from the Upper East Side. He didn't look at Blair who was certainly listening to their conversation.
"I'll think about it" he said.
Jenny looked as if she was about to insist, but she widened her eyes, focusing over Dan's shoulder.
"Nate" she said in a trapped breath.
Dan and Blair turned around swiftly, and Jenny shook Eric's arm lightly. Nate looked pale. Dan's throat went dry.
"What happened?" he asked.
Nate put a hand on his face, and took a deep breath.
"I'm…" he swallowed with difficulty "I'm still in shock, I'm sorry. It's a girl. They're both doing great"
All the others rushed to him and surrounded him with a hug.
"Congratulations!" Dan said "You gave us a little scare, man"
"Oh, thank God" Blair whispered, a relieved smile on her face.
"When can we see her?" Eric asked, impatience in his voice.
"I came here to get you" Nate said "They transferred her to her room, follow me"
He turned around and started walking, back straight and looking ahead of him. Dan started walking next to him as the other followed.
"Are you okay, man?" Dan asked "You don't look very well"
"I'm good" Nate simply said "It's this way"
"If you're scared, it's normal. I remember what I felt when Milo was born, but it doesn't last. You are going to be crazy about this little girl in about a short hour"
Nate stopped in front of a door, and put his hand on the handle. Then he burst out laughing, right there and Dan looked at the others, alarmed.
"Oh my God!" Nate said between two laughs "This is amazing. You guys are not going to believe this"
He pushed the door opened and stand to the side to let them enter, smiling at their suspicious and wary looks.
Serena was in her bed, much refreshed, and she looked tired. She had a little pink bundle in her arms and she smiled at them.
"Hi guys. Meet Summer" she said in a quiet voice.
They all approached quietly, slowly, as if their sole presence could hurt the little being. Then they leaned to see the baby in the blanket. And a heavy silence fell onto the room. Dan had expected to find her instantly beautiful. And he did. There was just this one thing about her
"Serena…"he said, well aware that he was about to state the obvious; but that kind needed to be stated "…your baby is black."
They heard Nate giggle in their backs, and Serena rolled her eyes.
"She is not black" she said "Obviously, she's biracial. And at least, now I know who the father is"
Serena nuzzled her daughter's tiny forehead.
"Besides, who cares? She is perfect"
Blair got closer, and looked at the milk chocolate skinned baby.
"She really is" she told Serena. "You're a mom, S"
They smiled at each other. Eric kissed Serena on the top of her head, and she let him take Summer in his arms, officially introducing him to his niece.
They all left after ten minutes, because the baby was taken to the nursery and Serena needed to sleep. Nate decided to stay at the hospital with her, so Dan and Blair took a taxi home after telling Jenny and Eric goodnight.
They both kept whispering things like "amazing" or "incredible" or "only Serena" during the ride. Blair had this lingering smile on her face. She put her head against Dan's shoulder. He was looking out the window, at the full moon.
"You can stop there" he told the taxi driver.
The car stopped, and Dan got out, taking Blair's hand. While he paid their ride, Blair looked around. She had gotten accustomed to the town well enough to know they weren't near the house.
"Humphrey, what are you doing?" she asked, as the cab drove away.
Dan took back her hand, dragging her with him toward the beach. The moon was reflecting on the water, painting in with a white stain, and a paler blue than usual nights.
"I realized that you've been here for a month, and that you never had a swim"
He left her hand once they reached the sand. Blair crossed her arms, watching him tug his shirt off.
"I don't think it's a good idea" Blair said.
"It's one in the morning, Blair. No one is going to see you except me. And if it's about the weight thing, I think I've already made pretty clear that I still find you sexy as hell. Or you don't remember the showering adventure?"
Blair bit back a smile, but didn't move. Dan took his shoes and pants off.
"Alright" he said, standing in his underwear "Just stay there like a prude, I'm going in"
Dan started walking toward the water, wondering if she would finally follow his lead. Then he saw Blair walking past him to the water and stopped short. She was naked. She turned around to give him a devious smile before getting into the water. Once Dan was able to think again, he ran toward her, catching her on the way and plunging them into the sea.
He thought she would scold him for it, but when they got back to the surface, she was laughing.
"It's so cold" she said, putting her arms around her.
"Come here" Dan reached to pull her against him
She put her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist, and Dan wished he had taken off his boxers before getting in. He could only imagine how blissful it would feel to make love to her in the water, with the moon watching them.
"You're not going back to New York, are you?" she asked in a soft voice.
Dan looked at her, and shook his head. Blair ran an affectionate hand over his face, and on his wet hair.
"I think you're going to like London" she said
"I think so too. But I'm going to miss you" he pressed a kiss on her shoulder.
"No you're not"
"Of course, I will. I always miss you"
Blair got closer bringing their naked chest together under the water, and kissed him, mouth open, tongues meeting.
"You can't possibly miss me, now" she said when she pulled away.
"Not me entirely, but a specific part of me sure does, right now" Dan said.
He looked goofy and unashamed, and it made Blair laugh. She put her hand on his cheek.
"You know, just because I never said it doesn't mean I never loved you. I just loved Chuck more"
What she said didn't hurt Dan. It was the first time she was being completely honest with him about their relationship, and about Chuck. He gave her a kiss.
"I know" he said "I got that, and although I'm not sure I understand, I don't contest. It's your heart, and it's always belonged to him"
"That's where you're wrong" Blair brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes "I loved Chuck, and the very powerful idea of our love. He came with a concept. Same for Louis. Same for Nate. You're the only one I ever loved with my heart. And I know I still do, in a way"
It was the second time Blair had ever left him truly speechless; and just like the first, it was with the confession that he had her heart. He kissed her, on the mouth, on the cheek, on the neck, on the jaw, everywhere he could reach without getting away from her.
"Let's go back to the house" she said between gasps, as he chose to focus on a spot behind his ear "I want to make love to you"
Dan groaned, and started walking out of the water, his face still buried against her neck. He put her down only when he reached their clothes on the sand. Blair only put her dress on, and kept her underwear and shoes in her hand. They longed the beach hand in hand until they got at the bottom of the little hill on which the house was perched. As Blair had sand on her feet and didn't want to put her shoes back on, Dan took her on his back. She pressed kisses on his shoulders and smiled against the skin on the back of his neck.
In his room, they got rid of each other's clothes and fell onto the bed together. Blair took his wrist when she felt his hand go up her thigh.
"I said I wanted to make love to you" she told him, interrupted by his kisses.
She pushed him by the shoulders onto the bed, and straddled him, kissing his chest. Dan's hand rested on her back, then her shoulder when she made her way lower. His stomach dipped in a pleasured spasm when she kissed it, and she felt his erection harden against her breast.
Blair kept her eyes on him as she took him in her mouth. Dan's hand went from her shoulder to her hair, fingers weaving through it, grazing against her scalp. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open, letting out a series of short breaths. She felt his fingers clench on her hair, and she opened her mouth to take more of him, getting the message. Dan groaned, and passed his free arm behind his head. He seemed to incredibly relaxed, at this moment; more than she had seen him in a month.
His hand left her hair and he leaned forward to bring her back up on him.
"I want you, Blair" he said, taking one breast in his mouth.
Blair whimpered, and guided him inside of her, yelping at the bite he gave her nipple when he was buried inside of her. He lay back on the bed, as she starting rocking her hips above him. Their eyes locked, both dark and heavy; he groaned while she moaned, they were like the same person.
Blair made her movements more diligent, insistent, making sure that his shaft would be each time in this angle that seemed to drive him crazy. She watched as he closed his eyes, and took her hands in his, starting to move with her. Then his entire body shot upright and he pulled her against him, moaning and shuddering against her breasts as he shot his release inside of her.
Dan fell back on the bed, completely spent and watched with hazy eyes Blair taking care of herself on top of him. Her hair was still humid, sticking on her skin and her cheeks were flushed. He wanted to help her out, but he couldn't move, under the effect of the post-climax numbness and the sight of her, naked above him, on the road to completion.
He did eventually manage to lift one arm to rub one of her breasts and Blair's body tensed, crying out his name. She fell on top of him, out of breath, and he let her, stroking her back as she was coming down from her height. Neither of them could tell who fell asleep first after that.
Dan is awoken by Nate shaking his shoulder.
"Come on, man. The jet is scheduled to leave in thirty minutes, we gotta go"
Dan has a bit of a hard time waking up completely. It is strange that he is all dressed up, and that Nate doesn't make any comment about Blair in his bed.
"Dan?" Nate leans over him on the bed "We gotta go, Serena and the baby are already over there"
Dan blinks. Serena and the baby are where, exactly? What jet?
"Are you okay?" Nate asks. He looks worried.
Dan looks around him. All of his stuff disappeared. The room looks the way it did when they arrived on the island.
"Where are my stuff?" he asks Nate.
"…In your luggage. In the trunk of the car. Which is waiting to take us to the airport"
"What?" Dan feels like someone just hit him with a bat "Where is Blair?"
Nate frowns "What do you mean, where is Blair?"
"She was sleeping next to me"
Nate raises his eyebrows, then a light of understanding passes on his face.
"Dude, you must've had one of those dreams again"
"No, no it's not like that" Dan manages to get up "She arrived here with Serena, like a month ago. It was raining and…"
"And we were playing Monopoly" Nate nods "But Serena was alone, Dan. Blair is still…wherever she is. She's not here. I think you were dreaming again"
Dan shakes his head, refusing to take in what Nate is saying. It's impossible. Nate puts a hand on his shoulder.
"Come on, Dan. It's time to go. You gotta let go of her"
"No" Dan shakes his head again "I won't"
Waking up from that was like merely escaping drowning. Dan's body was covered in sweat and he struggled finding his respiration. The sun was peeking out from the see on the horizon, and he was still naked and still in his bed. But he became almost instantly aware of the fact that Blair wasn't there anymore.
The door opened and Blair, wearing his shirt, entered carrying a tray with two cups and plates. Dan could smell tea and toasts and marmalade. Blair smiled at him at first, then took in his panicked look.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
Dan sighed, relieved "I thought you were gone"
Blair went to sit on the bed, putting the tray on his desk beforehand.
"I'm right here" she said
"I know. I just…I had a dream, where everything that's happened since you arrived was a dream. It scared me"
Blair frowned, a bit confused. Then she sat closer to him and took his head between her hands.
"If it is a dream, never stop dreaming of this moment" she told him.
She kissed him, and Dan responded. They stayed this way an instant, lips pressed together, until a light knock on the door separated them.
"It's me" Nate voice came through the door "Are you guys decent?"
"Wait" Dan answered, relieved that Nate had asked.
They both got dressed and Dan went to open the door. Nate smiled lazily at them as he stepped in.
"Hey" he said "Serena insisted that I came back here to sleep a bit. But I really don't like knowing her alone over there, so I was wondering, Blair, do you mind…?"
"Of course not" Blair said, instantly putting on her shoes "Have a rest, I'll go keep an eye on her"
"Thanks" Nate answered, his eyes closed.
Blair took her purse and a sweater of Dan's to protect her from the tropical morning chill. Dan stayed by the door while she got out. She turned around to smile at him.
"Last night was…"
"Yeah" Dan said.
Blair knew they would still have a few days together before they each left the island and went their separate ways, but those few remaining days would probably be full of Summer. She could already see the baby becoming the focus of their four lives. So being there, at Dan's door, felt like a final instant. She was sure he felt it too. She stood on the tip of her toes to kiss him again, softly.
"Goodbye, Dan Humphrey"
Dan took her hand in his, squeezed it, and let her go.
When he closed the door, and turned back around, he saw Nate asleep in his bed. Dan laughed, and went to sit on his desk, taking out his notebook and his pencil. He had just started to write when Nate spoke.
"I know the next months are going to be hard" his voice was tired and muffled by the pillow "And I already know that you'll be there to help me figure things out. So I just wanted to tell you thanks, dude."
Dan smiled "Anytime, man"
When Blair got into Serena's room, she was awake, looking out the window. She smiled when she saw Blair, then inexplicably started crying.
"Hey, there" Blair went to sit on the edge of her bed "Shh" she stroked Serena's cheek "It's okay, Serena. You made it. We made it"
Serena moved to leave room for her, and Blair took the invitation, lying next to her friend. Serena wiped the tears on her face, then took Blair's hand in hers.
"Have you ever imagined what home would be like with a baby?" she asked
"It's going to be fantastic" Blair said "As soon as we get back, I launch a Waldorf Designs baby line. We are going to have so much fun. We are going to be so happy"
"Blair, I really think so. I really think we'll be happy"
"Of course we will"
Blair wrapped her arms around Serena, breathed in her familiar scent. The one she associated with friendship.
"I am so fucking tired" Serena chuckled "I couldn't really sleep last night. I couldn't believe I am a mom"
Blair laughed with her "You are a mom, yes. Now, sleep. I'm here"
Serena closed her eyes.
"I love you, B"
"I love you too, S"
This was without any doubts my favourite chapter of this fic to write. What did you think of it?
Next fic update is La Bohème (yay!).
Love, xo.