As she slowly stirred awake, Arizona felt her hand wander across the sheets of her bed, disappointed to find it empty. She didn't expect anyone to be there, but she already ached to sleep next to the woman she loved, and it was taking too damn long for her liking.
They had behaved themselves, for the most part. For the past few weeks, they had spent as much time together as possible. They had gone to movies, out to dinner, gotten coffee, went out for drinks with friends, and just been together. Arizona didn't need elaborate or fancy dates. She simply just loved being around Callie, no matter what they did.
The two of them had shared a few late nights. Typically, they retreated to one of their homes, shared a bottle of wine, and just talked for hours. Arizona was heavily sleep deprived, but she had no care in the world. Because every word she shared with Callie was worth it. Every wine drunk kiss was worth it. Every caress and touch and moment their bodies took over was everything she wanted. She wouldn't change a thing.
Well, maybe one.
Arizona wanted to have sex. That urge only grew every time she saw Callie. But, they had agreed to take things slow, and she knew that was the right thing to do. With their history, bringing sex back would just make things more complicated, so they needed to wait for the right time. That didn't mean that this was easy, though.
For a moment, Arizona kept her eyes closed, and she pictured Callie snoring next to her. She pretended to curl next to the lucious curves that she adored, letting her hands wander and explore as Callie slowly woke...
Good lord, she needed to take a cold shower.
She rolled over, her hand searching for her phone. Once she turned it on, she found that she had three voicemails, two from Callie and one from her ex.
"Arizona you will not believe what I just pulled out of a patient's rectum. It's totally intern work and I should be pissed but I don't even care. Anyway, you'll have to come find me if you want the dirty deets. It's too juicy for over the phone."
She grinned as she played the next message.
"I'm thinking about you. And not in a sexy way. I'm mainly just jealous that you're sleeping while I am on the night shift. I also just miss you. That's all. Actually, oh my God, I remembered what I needed to tell you! I walked in on Cristina and Owen having sex in an on call room. Like, I knew they were hooking up, but still. Seeing it in the flesh was not how I pictured my night going. Anyway, we can gossip once you're awake, sleeping beauty."
God, she loved just listening to Callie's voice. Even if the brunette was talking about nothing in particular. It was nice to wake up to these.
Her thumb hovered over the third voicemail for a moment as she debated over whether or not she actually wanted to listen to it. She finally decided that she at least owed Lauren that much.
"Hey, Arizona. It's me. I guess I'm just calling to check on you. I was wondering if we could talk? I'd just like to get some closure if we really are done. I hope to hear from you."
She felt a stab of guilt in her chest, and she knew that she needed to offer more of an explanation to Lauren. Even though she had ended things, she had left soon afterwards, and she wanted to set things right instead of disappearing into thin air. She was trying to learn from her mistakes of the past, and she owed her ex at least one phone call.
Arizona had her whole message rehearsed, so she was thrown off when Lauren actually answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey...Lauren," she started as she sat up fully in bed. "I got your message."
The other woman was silent for a moment before she answered. "It's really good to hear your voice, Arizona. I've missed you."
"Me too."
"Really?"
Arizona sighed. "Despite everything...yes. You were a big part of my life and I still care about you." Her fingers fiddled with a loose string on her comforter, slowly pulling at it.
"Just not enough to stay in Boston."
"Lauren, I had to go. Staying there wouldn't have made me happy. And forcing feelings for you would have been unfair to you and we both would have been miserable."
"I know," she replied. "It still sucks."
"Yeah. And I'm really sorry about that." Arizona paused for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "Lauren, I want you to know that it wasn't your fault that we ended. You were always good to me and were everything someone should want. I just have always been in love with someone else, and I thought that I could get over those feelings, but I didn't. And I don't want to."
"Are you at least going to go find her?"
Arizona felt herself smile the slightest bit. "I have. She's here in Seattle. I'm happy, Lauren. And I want you to feel the way that I do now. I want you to find your great and amazing love. You deserve that."
She was silent for a while, and Arizona wondered if she should have held her tongue.
"I'm glad you're happy. And I hope that I can be one day too. And I hope that if our paths cross again, we can still be friends. Because I will always care about you, even if I'm still mad and upset that you broke my heart. I guess I'm starting to realize that we were never in the same place, so now I can begin to heal."
"I still care about you, Lauren. And I will continue to do so. I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Is this goodbye?"
"I think it should be, at least for now," Arizona answered. "Take care, Lauren."
"You as well."
The call ended, and Arizona held her phone for a moment as she processed through the conversation. A weight had been lifted off her chest, and she felt good that she had made sure that there was a clean break. Leaving Lauren with questions would have been unfair, and talking for just a few minutes made her feel as if she had set things right, at least for now.
Arizona realized that she now could fully move forward, with nothing holding her back. That's what she wanted more than anything.
She roamed around the emergency room, her eyes scanning for her favorite doctor at the hospital. Callie was supposed to be finishing up her shift, and Arizona wanted to catch her before she left. Armed with a cinnamon roll and a fresh cup of coffee, she maneuvered between doctors and nurses until she spotted someone familiar.
"Mark!" she called, catching the attention of the plastic surgeon.
She had met him when Callie took them out for drinks, and she was still figuring out how she felt about the best friend of the woman she was seeing. He had a distinct persona, and he was cocky, arrogant, and a definite playboy. But, he also was a brilliant doctor, a caring man, and an incredible friend to Callie. So, while she still needed to determine her own opinions about him and build a friendship for herself, she had accepted him into her life.
He grinned as he shut the file he was glancing over. "Blondie! What's up?"
"Have you seen Callie?"
"I'm just starting my rounds. I know that she got pulled into a surgery a while ago, her name is on the board." He picked up his coat that was draped over a chair and slipped it on. "Come on, I'll walk you."
Arizona raised her brow. "I'm no damsel in distress, and I certainly don't need an escort around the hospital."
Mark laughed. "No one's thinking that. On the contrary, you're known for being a hardass." He smirked as they began to walk towards the surgical floor. "I'm just trying to bond with you, Robbins. It's what Callie would want," he told her.
"Since when did you become the expert on all things Torres?"
"Since I am her favorite person in the entire world, and I know her better mentally and physically than anyone else," he declared.
A small red flag went up in Arizona's mind. She certainly wasn't a fan of that. "What do you mean, physically?"
Mark instantly groaned. "I...shouldn't have said anything. She can tell you whatever she wants. Just know that we have a history that is deeper than most and at the end of the day we are currently best friends and nothing more. Anything further ended before you got here."
She stood before the elevator door with a dumbfounded expression as she attempted to process the pieces of information she had just received.
Arizona didn't have time to say anything, as the elevator opened to reveal the topic of their current conversation.
"Hey! My two favorite people!" Callie exclaimed.
"Well, that was easy. I'm going to go hunt down whatever residents are assigned to me today. Have a good one, Robbins." Mark patted Arizona on the back before he turned towards Callie. "Torres, let me know if you want to grab drinks later, and I'm all yours." He winked and strode off, leaving the two women to themselves.
Arizona extended the food and coffee she brought. "Here's some breakfast for you."
Callie gave her a wide smile as she gratefully took the to-go box and mug. "Why thank you. I definitely need it. Just got out of a spinal surgery with Derek, and let me tell you, he does not go easy on his residents. Especially not me, because he is fully aware of my brilliance," she said, already digging into the cinnamon roll. "You have a minute?"
"Yep. I'm not due for my rounds for another ten."
"Sweet. Wanna walk me to the lowly residents' lounge?"
Arizona nodded, falling into step with the brunette as they wove their way through the hospital. "I quite enjoyed your voicemails last night.
Callie laughed before taking a long drink. "Damn, that's great. Yeah, I have this weird thing now where you're like the only person I want to talk to. Which is rather difficult when you are asleep and I'm here."
"Well, you could talk to Mark."
The Latina stopped in her tracks so she could fully face Arizona. "Okay, what is that supposed to mean?"
"He told me that he mentally and physically knows you better than anyone else. Not sure exactly what he meant by that," she replied. She wasn't sure if she was curious, jealous, or a mixture of both. Still, what Mark had said to her left a twisted feeling in her gut, and she wasn't a fan of that whatsoever.
Callie looked towards the ceiling and sighed. "Though he does have brains, Mark always could rely on his good looks, so he never properly developed a filter," she told her. "Full disclosure: Mark and I have a lot of history. He's been my best friend for a while now, and he is my person. We did used to sleep together, though. We never had a romantic relationship, it was purely friends with benefits. And it's completely over and not something I've even thought about for weeks. Mark is always going to be a huge part of my life and my best friend, but I want to be cleared that as long as I am seeing you, I have absolutely no interest, desire, or intention to do anything more with him." Arizona was silent as she processed everything that was said, and Callie reached forward and gave a squeeze to her arm. "Are you done being paranoid now?"
"No. I'm the crazy one in this relationship."
Callie chuckled. "Today you are. But tomorrow, I'll be the crazy one."
Arizona grinned. "Thank you, Calliope." Her heartbeat quickened as a thought flew through her mind, and she immediately knew what step she wanted to take, now more than ever.
However, before she could say a word, Callie beat her to it. "Would you like to come over tonight?"
"Are you asking me on a date, Calliope?"
"Actually, I'm asking my girlfriend if she would like to spend the night. So in a way, yes"
Arizona's beeper went off, signaling that her duty was most definitely calling, at the most inconvenient time.
Callie had called her her girlfriend. They most definitely had not defined themselves or assigned labels to whatever they were doing. While they both had expressed their desired exclusivity with one another, they most definitely had not talked about it further. It was strange, since they often called themselves soulmates, that now Arizona was feeling butterflies at being referred to simply as a girlfriend.
She glanced at her beeper quickly, then shot her girlfriend a wide and stunning smile. "I will most definitely see you tonight, Calliope."
She couldn't help but hope that it would be the night for them. A step forward.
Arizona adjusted her blouse as she waited outside of Callie's apartment. She had been anxiously watching the clock all day, looking forward to the chance to clock out and race to her girlfriend's home. Typically, she never wanted to leave the hospital, but ever since Callie had come back into her life, she was always itching for work to conclude so they could spend time together.
Only a few moments after she had knocked, the door swung open to reveal the woman of her affections.
Her girlfriend.
She loved how that sounded. And she hoped to discuss that further tonight.
"Hey, you," Callie greeted as she held the door wide. Her hair was twisted up into a messy bun, and she had an apron tied around her waist, splattered with bits of food. She stepped towards Arizona, lightly kissing her cheek as they entered.
"Smells good."
"It's chicken piccata. I think I've finally got this recipe mastered, but you will be the judge of that." She returned to the stove, immediately picking up a spoon and stirring a sauce that was bubbling. "How was work?"
Arizona leaned against the counter, watching Callie cook. Lately she had discovered that Callie had a true gift for cooking, much to her delight. She definitely loved good food.
"Good. We had an attendings meeting," she stated.
Callie raised her brow. "Oh, really? Anything you can share with a lowly resident?"
"Want to hear about my Peds budget?" she asked as she moved around to the stove. She quickly dipped her finger into the sauce, licking it off as she received an exaggerated scoff from Callie. "This is delicious so far!"
Arizona lightly brushed Callie's arm, letting her touch linger as the other woman continued to cook.
"I want to hear every little thing about you, babe." Callie plated their chicken as the sauce was finished. She surveyed her work before looking up, flashing a giant smile. "This might be my best dish yet, lucky for you."
"My cooking abilities extend to ordering pizza, so everything you do in the kitchen truly amazes me." Arizona accepted the food Callie extended towards her. They moved to the couch, sitting directly next to one another with their food nestled on their laps.
As soon as she took her first bite, Arizona let out a low moan, earning a laugh from Callie. "Do you need to get a room?" she asked.
"If you keep cooking like this, then absolutely." She brought another piece of chicken to her lips, eagerly biting into it. Once she had swallowed, she shifted her focus from the heavenly food on her plate to the heavenly woman beside her. "So, tell me about your day, Calliope. Solve any murders? Steal the Declaration of Independence? Figure out the meaning of life?"
Callie reached forward and brushed her thumb against the corner of her mouth, wiping away some stray sauce. Arizona felt a shiver skip down her spine, only adding flame to the physical urge that was slowly burning within her. She mentally shook herself, coming back to the present. If all went well, there would be time for that later.
"Well, before I got to all of that, I took a massive nap, did laundry, and showered. So pretty much more hardcore than you expected from me," she proclaimed, giving Arizona a smug look. God, she was adorable.
Arizona moved forward, unable to contain herself. She collided their lips, deeply connecting them together. The kiss was traced with hints of spices and lemon, but also tasted uniquely and wonderfully like Callie. She sighed into the kiss as Callie sucked on her bottom lip and slid her hand along her waist. As she pulled back, she nuzzled their noses together. "You're incredible," she murmured under her breath.
"Where did that come from?" Callie asked, the pads of her fingers tracing circles against Arizona's side.
"Don't you know? You're incredibly kissable."
Callie chuckled and shook her head as she pulled away. "You know how to flatter a girl, that's for sure." She resumed eating, an action that Arizona mimicked.
A thought bounced around her brain, one that hadn't quieted for hours. She had to talk to Callie, in order to set things straight. It was important to her that they remained on the same page as much as possible, and today was no different.
"Calliope, can I ask you something?"
She nodded as she swallowed a bite of food. "You always can."
Arizona set her practically cleared plate on the coffee table, her hands instantly moving to thread her fingers together. "Am I...your girlfriend?"
Callie tilted her head to the side. "I mean, that's what I've been thinking of you as. Do you want to be?"
"Of course. We just...we just talked about taking it slow and rebuilding things. And I know that we aren't seeing anyone else, but we hadn't discussed titles or anything. Then you called me your girlfriend today and so I wanted to be sure that that's where we are at because I think of you in that way but I didn't know if we still needed to define things or not and-"
Her ramblings were instantly cut of by a pair of ruby lips capturing hers in a quick kiss. As soon as they parted, Callie broke into a smile. "I liked everything you were saying, I just didn't know how to get you to stop talking long enough for me to say that I would love to be your girlfriend if you want to be mine."
Arizona grinned as pure happiness spread throughout her entire body. "Yes, Calliope. I want to be your girlfriend, and I want you to be mine."
Callie discarded her own plate, and Arizona couldn't help but notice that now there was hardly anything left in their way. The other woman must have picked up on this as well, as she swiftly leaned forward and pushed Arizona back.
Good hell, she could kiss Calliope Torres every second of every day and never get bored.
Caramel hands linked with hers, and her arms were brought above her head and pinned down against the cushion. Hot, wet kisses were placed along her jaw and up and down her neck, and Arizona tightly shut her eyes. She let all of her energy be focused into purely feeling every physical and emotional sensation that Callie was triggering within her. And fuck, it was all incredible.
Her body naturally took over, moving in perfect synchronization with Callie's. She arched her back as a tongue dipped slightly below the neckline of her shirt, already teasing her. Callie had always been an expert at that.
Callie released her hands, only to slide her own down Arizona's chest until they rested right below her bosom. "May I?" she whispered, making all the hairs on Arizona's body stand up. She wanted this woman so badly she could hardly stand it, and she was eager for things to move forward. Shit, she needed them to at this point.
She grasped Callie's hands in her own. "Touch me, Calliope," she said as she guided two palms to grasp and squeeze her breasts. It was sensational. "We aren't going to have any interruptions tonight, are we?" she asked in between content and lustful sighs.
Callie shook her head before lightly sucking on Arizona's pulse point. "I made sure that no one else would be here. It's just you and me."
"Fuck, yes."
Her hands slithered up to Callie's face, cupping her cheeks and guiding her into a heated and passionate kiss. She slipped her tongue between two plump lips as she shifted her leg between Callie's, receiving a satisfied moan from the other woman. She could feel her nipples perk and harden as fingertips massaged them, and her own arousal steadily built within her.
Callie slipped her hands beneath her shirt, and Arizona felt soft fingertips brush along her back and her stomach. It was as if she was touching every inch of her skin in order to remap and relearn her body. She wanted Callie to feel her again, fully and completely.
Fingers played with the clasp of her bra, and in one swift motion, Callie undid the garment and pulled it out of Arizona's shirt, tossing it across the room. Her hands wandered back to Arizona's chest, and she shivered as her breasts were directly fondled without any clothing in the way.
She ran her fingers through Callie's hair, undoing the elastic so that ebony locks spilled down and around them. She brushed her hair away from her face, slowly stroking the back of Callie's neck as they continuously kissed one another. Arizona slid one hand down voluptuous curves until she grasped a firm and round backside, giving it a quick squeeze as she grinded her thigh against Callie's center.
"Shit," she gasped, thrusting her pelvis down to create even more friction. She lightly rolled a pink nipple between her fingertips as one hand quickly moved to stroke between Arizona's legs. "I can tease you too, you know."
"Don't taunt me," Arizona husked. She reached to the front of Callie's jeans, undoing the button and zipper so she had full access. "I promise that you will regret it."
Her fingers slipped through soft, dark curls, and her index finger quickly circled around an aroused bud before withdrawing.
Callie lightly groaned as she nibbled on Arizona's earlobe. "That was pure evil, and you know it." She deeply kissed the blonde as she tugged her shirt up to reveal a pale stomach. As she stroked Arizona's skin, she kissed along her neck and jaw until she reached her ear once more. "Would you be interested in moving this to my bedroom?"
"Abso-fucking-lutely."
Arizona pushed them up, smoothly peeling off Callie's shirt and flinging it across the room. Her mouth instantly latched on top of her bosom, sucking it hard before moving to kiss her hard on the lips.
They somehow rose from the couch while keeping their mouths connected. Frantically kissing the entire time Callie guided them towards her room, their hands worked to rid them of as much clothing as possible.
Once they reached the bed, her door kicked shut behind them, Callie pushed Arizona down, straddling her. Two pairs of hands fumbled with Callie's pants until they were rolled down her long legs and kicked to the side. Arizona sat up to practically rip the black, lacy underwear off of her girlfriend, leaving her completely bare. The pads of her fingertips ran up and down the body before her, and she was completely mesmerized. She had never forgotten Callie, but she was still in awe of just how beautiful the woman in front of her was.
Callie draped herself across Arizona, resting on her forearms on either side of her face. She brushed blonde hair back, her chocolate gaze dark and tinted with lust. "What are you looking at?"
"You." Arizona grasped a bare back, pulling Callie down further so their exposed chests brushed against one another. "You are so beautiful. A goddess."
"You know what to say to make a girl blush." Callie nuzzled their noses together, a sweet and intimate gesture in the midst of passion. "I want you, Arizona."
She tilted her head up, capturing Callie's lips with her own. "I want you too, Calliope. I've always wanted you."
A tanned, naked body slid down along her until she was kneeling between Arizona's legs. "If that's the case," she started, fidgeting with the clasp on her pants, "then you will need to be much more naked."
Callie started pulling Arizona's jeans slowly down her legs, but as soon as she felt the slight tug of the fabric against her prosthetic, she froze up. Her breath hitched, and her heart skipped a beat. And not in a good way.
"Stop. Stop. Callie, stop," she spit out as her body started to shake. She scrambled away, grasping her jeans and pulling them up. Without thinking, she rolled off the bed and hurried into the adjoined bathroom, slamming the door behind her and locking it.
She could hear Callie calling after her, but she blocked it all out. Arizona slid to the ground as tremors shook her body, and she let the tears that had rapidly built in her eyes fall.
What the fuck was wrong with her?
Here's the next chapter! Thank you all for patiently waiting. I hope you enjoy!
I must say, I love writing angst and fluff, so I hope this story will be a good mix of both. I hope you guys like reading both!
As always, thanks for reading and continuously following this story. I appreciate it more than you all can know. You keep me motivated!
I am hard at work on the next chapter, so hopefully there won't be a long wait. Let me know what you think so far!