Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Check out my new story "The Way I Loved You" co-written with xoxo41. Sexy, badass Edward has a passionate relationship with Bella, but they always fight. What happens when she decides to end it for good? Based off Taylor Swift's "The Way I Loved You" from her new album "Fearless". It's a total Bella/Edward story too.
BPOV
June 5th
"Bella, love, how are you feeling?" Edward asked, for what had to be the millionth time in the last few minutes.
"I'm fine," I lied again. Another shiver shook through my body. Edward glanced up at the monitor that said my temperature—still too high. But the doctors had given me medicine already and there was nothing more anyone could do.
"You're temperature is still up and you're shaking." I opened my mouth to protest, but he quickly cut me off. "And don't deny it, I can see you." And I thought I had been doing such a good job hiding my shivers. Another chill racked through my body and I shook like a leaf. "What're they doing here? This can't be good at all." He was muttering to himself now. He stood up and started pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his hair. I could practically see him sifting through his medical knowledge, trying to figure out if my infection was something worse.
"Edward," I said firmly. He stopped his pacing to look at me. "You need to chill out. You're stressing me out! It's an infection, it'll go away soon." I tried to conceal another shiver.
"Yes but the medicine should be working by now. Your fever should be down and you definitely shouldn't be shaking," he said, his voice frustrated. "I know what this is, I know it. I just can't put my finger on it."
"Edward, it's not your job," I said, trying to soothe him. "I have my own doctors. I need you here as my lover, not my doctor. Please." He sighed, and reluctantly sat down in the chair next to my bed. He took my hand in his and pressed his lips to my fingers.
"I'm sorry Bella. I'm just so stressed. First it's Josh and now it's you. And I barely even see Lexie and you've been holed up here for so long I can't imagine how you must feel. Everything is just not going well for us, huh?" He chuckled weakly and leaned back, brushing his hair back with his free hand.
"We're together. That's good," I said, trying to cheer him up. He smiled.
"Yes," he agreed. "That's very good."
"And we've got a beautiful, healthy daughter and a strong baby boy," I continued.
"That's true," Edward replied.
"And I love you. I'd say that's a lot of things going right."
"And I'd say you're right. I love you Bella, and I'm sorry if I'm causing you any extra stress. You don't need it." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, frowning at the heat of my skin. I rubbed his hand with my thumb and he relaxed, leaning back in his chair. I could tell he was still trying to figure out what was wrong with me—because the team of medical experts working on me wasn't enough apparently—but at least he was being quiet about it. My eyes drifted shut and I was suddenly tired enough to sleep.
"Mommy!" I opened my eyes and saw Lexie standing in the doorway in a pretty dress that I was sure she didn't have before I was in the hospital. Alice was standing behind her, holding baby Bryan in her arms. He was already holding his head up by himself. Jasper was behind her with the baby bag in his hand.
"Hey sweetie," I said back, holding my arms out for a hug.
"Be gentle Lexie," Edward warned. Lexie ran over and gently wrapped her arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Mommy you feel hot," she exclaimed.
"Mommy has a bit of a fever," I replied. "But I'll be all better soon."
"Okay," she said simply, accepting my answer without a second thought. To her, I knew everything. "Can I see the baby? Daddy said he'd take me in one day to see him up close." I glanced at Edward. He nodded once.
"Sure sweetie. Just let Mommy get into her wheelchair so she can watch from outside, okay?" My words were as much for Edward as they were for her. I said them firm enough that he knew there was no arguing. I knew I should be resting, but I wasn't going to miss Lexie's first time meeting the baby. Edward helped me stand up and sink into a wheelchair.
"Do I get to wear a doctor's outfit?" Lexie asked eagerly when Edward pulled out some scrubs for them to put on.
"Yup," he answered, chuckling at her enthusiasm.
"I'll be just like you Daddy!" she squealed excitedly. She grabbed the shirt from Edward and pulled it on. The sleeves were much too long for her, so Edward rolled them up to her hands. The shirt fell to her knees it was so long. Edward brought her up to the sink and washed her hands thoroughly before washing his own.
"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" she said impatiently. I gave her a look. "Please," she added on to appease me.
"Sure. Let's go." Jasper pushed my wheelchair for me as Alice babbled on about various things that had happened throughout the week, play dates Lexie had with Mike and Molly and how she had shown pictures of her new brother to the class. I listened with longing, already missing my daughter, even though she was right in front of me. I missed being there for her.
Edward and Lexie paused in front of the door as Edward explained to Lexie how she had to be very careful and not touch anything unless Daddy told her she could. Lexie promised she wouldn't do anything wrong. Edward took her by the hand and opened the door to where our baby was. I watched with an intense longing. I wanted to be with Joshua so bad, but I couldn't.
"Push me closer Jasper, please," I asked, my voice a quiet whisper. Jasper pushed me to the far end of the glass so I could watch closer. I could see Edward whispering to Lexie as she watched with awe. Edward crouched down to Lexie's level and wrapped his arms around her, whispering in her ear the whole time. Lexie was beaming by the time Edward reached up with his hand to show her the hole where she could touch the baby.
Lexie turned to Edward and said something and Edward nodded, saying something in response. I could feel tears in my eyes—I wanted so badly to be in there. To have our family complete for the first time. I watched as Lexie slowly reached forward and placed her hand into the small box encasing my son. I could see the gentleness in her arm as she tentatively touched his stomach and arms. I could see his little legs kicking. Tears slid down my face. I wanted to be there so badly it was like a fire burning in my stomach.
"Bella." I looked up to see Alice standing next to me, her face serious. Jasper was holding the baby, cooing softly. "You know why you can't go in there. You're sick and you don't want Josh to get sick. Let Edward have his moment. You've had Lexie's whole life to have times like this. Edward's only had a few months. Let him have his time with his children." Alice was the only one of my friends who was so brutally honest about the way I had left Lexie out of Edward's life. She held a grudge that I never told her or Edward, choosing instead to ignore her phone calls to avoid telling him. A huge mistake, and I realized it, but Alice had never fully forgiven me for the years I lost contact with her. She never said it to be mean—just honest.
"I know," I whimpered. "But I want to be in there so badly. With them. With my family. My babies and my Edward. It's not fair that I have to miss it."
"It's not fair when anyone misses out on their baby's childhood," Alice replied and I knew exactly what she was implying. "But you'll be better soon and you can be in there with them."
"I know," I sighed. "It just hurts. And I'm sorry for what I did all those years ago Alice, okay? Why do you always feel the need to bring it up?"
"I just want you to know what it felt like for him…he's probably never told you Bella, how much he regrets not being here for Lexie. He feels like it's his own fault. He always tells me how much he hates having missed out on so much of her life, and how she would probably never forgive him for it and how he's never going to miss a second of the new baby's life. He loves her, and him and you Bella, more then you can understand. I just don't want him to get hurt again." Alice's explanation made so much sense, and it made me feel tremendously guilty. It was just like Edward to shoulder the blame.
"I didn't know Alice," I whispered. "And I won't make him miss a minute. And I'm sorry I was…I guess I was jealous that he gets to be in there and not me. That's all."
"I know Bella. I'm sorry, that was mean of me to bring up," she said apologetically.
"It's what I needed to hear. Thank you." I gave her a small smile, which she returned. Edward and Lexie came out of the room then and Lexie was beaming. I quickly wiped away my tears, but not before Edward noticed.
"Mommy I got to touch the baby! And his skin is so soft. He's so cute too! I love him so much," she burst, jumping with excitement. I laughed.
"Well I'm glad you love him. He loves you too," I promised her.
"But now Mommy needs to get back to her room," Edward said. "She needs her sleep." The five of us made our way back to my room and Edward helped me back into my bed. As they moved me, I got a sharp, shooting pain in my chest. I let out a gasp, which only made it worse, and sank onto the bed, my breath short. Edward looked like he was flipping through his medical index in his head again.
"We'd better get going," Alice said. "Come on Lex, let's let Mommy get her sleep." Lexie skipped off to Alice, taking her hand.
"Bye Mommy, bye Daddy, I love you," she trilled.
"Bye honey," I answered. "Love you too." Edward and I watched in silence as the three of them left. Edward sank down on the chair next to me, taking my hand back in his. He ran his thumb along my fingers.
"You were crying earlier," he stated.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I…I wanted to be in there with you. I hate missing out on things," I began with a sigh.
"It's not for long Bella, I promise. You'll be better soon and then you won't have to miss anything," Edward assured me quickly.
"And then Alice told me…about what you told her…about missing Lexie's childhood," I finished. Edward's face fell.
"It was a while ago Bella," he said nonchalantly. "I was just a little upset. It's nothing."
"It's not nothing though," I replied. "I'm sorry. I should've never kept you in the dark like that. I hate that you had to miss out on so much and I realized I was being selfish by wanting to be in there with you. It was your time to spend with the kids, not mine. You deserve your own memories. Like you should've had with Lexie."
"Bella," Edward said, his voice uncertain. I could tell my words meant a lot to him. "It's in the past. Over. I can never go back. And I can make new memories with Lexie and Josh. And I'm happy now Bella. I have you and I have Lexie and I have Josh. And that's all I'll ever need."
"I love you," I reminded him. I never wanted him to forget.
"I love you too." He pressed his lips to my forehead again.
"And when I get out of here, we'll spend a weekend together and watch all of Lexie's old videos. I taped pretty much everything, so you can see everything you missed. Everything you never should've missed," I promised him. I had tapes of Lexie rolling over, lifting her head up, crawling, talking, walking, playing with her toys, sleeping. I had videos for everything. I wanted Edward to feel like he was there.
"Thank you Bella. That means a lot to me." He pressed his lips to both of my cheeks and my forehead, but not my lips. He probably didn't want to catch whatever I had. When he backed away I felt a cough in my chest. But not a normal cough. It was painful, and I spit up disgusting yellow phlegm. Edward's eyes went wide when he saw it and I could almost hear the mental click. He leaned over my bed and grabbed the clicker, pressing the nurse button.
"We're going to need a nurse and some antibiotics," he said quickly. "I think she has bacterial pneumonia."
A/N: Sorry updates have been slow and this is a cliffhanger. Not too many chapters left of this story though. REVIEW!!