(Chat set up between Normandy, Crew deck terminal and hard suit. Users Unknown)

1: Please tell me why I haven't shot Shepard yet?

2: Because he's the first human Spectre and a lot of people would kill you if you killed him. Me included.

1: We are having to dance around bureaucratic bullshit! We are having to run back and forth! Why can we not just shoot the Administrator and get the garage pass?

1: No scratch that. No garage pass, I do not want to cope with Shepard's driving in blizzard conditions.

2: Oh be brave, my dear Turian. I'll be here waiting for you. On board the nice, cosy Normandy, where it's nice and warm, drinking hot chocolate.

1: When we finally get shore leave I'm dragging you back to mine and make you suffer.

2: But what if I like it?

1: Maybe you will, if you're okay with having to beg me to let you come. And I'm sure I'll be resistant to begging for a long time...

2: Two words: Biotic supremacy

1: And?

2: I'll be able to do a turnabout easily.

1: Question is, do you want to?

2: I'm not sure.

2: I'll leave you be now. Shepard will need you focused. Not sexting your lover.

1: Spoilsport.

( Pause for an hour.)

1: I just want you to know I love you very very much Kai.

2: About to head off in the Mako?

1: Yes. Just finished blowing up some Geth Benezia left in the garage.

2: Benzia's there? How's Liara coping?

1: On the outside, she's composed. But I can tell it's an act. Shepard trusts her though. We're off to Peak 15. Binary Helix. Apparently Saren's a major share holder and sent Benezia as his executive there. Oh and what else do we have here? Peak 15's gone dark.

2: Shit. Geth and more Geth?

1: Long as we don't come across more of those bugs things from the Cerberus bases.

(Chat Terminated)

(Chat set up between Normandy and Hard suit. Warning: Signal weak. Message corrupted.)

1: Me and my f%"*$)% b8g mou54 (Data not salvageable) bugs!

2: Garrus? What the hell is going on over there?

1: Ne$d to (Data not salvageable) J6$XI7NG missions!

(Connection lost.)

2:Shit.

(Connection re-established. Hard suit now in range)

2: Garrus, are you okay?

1: Fine now but..ow.. may need to curl up in med bay and get dosed up on Morphine

2: What the hell happened?

1: Those bugs? Turns out they were RACHNI!

2: I don't think Wrex will be happy to hear that.

1: Really? Shepard let the bloody Queen walk off scots free!

2: What? Garrus just give me a little back story.

1: Binary Helix found a Rachni egg. It was the Queen. They thought they could make an army and took the Queen's young from her before they could learn to 'sing', hence went crazy.

2: Then escaped and killed everyone?

1: Almost everyone, there were some survivors. But Shepard let the Queen go!

2: You can't really blame her for her children. It's like saying all Turians have sticks up their backsides. Or that women can't drive.

1: He still let a life form, that nearly destroyed the Citadel races, go. I just don't believe it's promise of teaching it's children peace.

2: If it was an egg then it had no knowledge of the Rachni war. So, it's innocent.

1: You sound like Liara and Shepard.

2: Well I doubt just anyone will happily commit Genocide.

1: It should have been left to the council!

2: The council? Remind me, but who hates the council and all their rules?

1: Me?

2: I rest my case.

2: Did you find Benezia?

1: Yes. She's dead.

2: Is Liara okay?

1: She says she is but...

2: I get the idea. Why did Saren want the Rachni for?

1: The Rachni were around when the Mu Relay went missing. Apparently the Conduit is in one of the systems that was lost when the Mu Relay was lost.

2: How can you lose a Mass Relay?

1: I have no idea.

2: The Council races did remember to check behind the sofa? That's where most things end up.

1: It'd have to be a very large sofa.

2: True. So the conduit is in one of the systems only accessible from the Mu relay.

1: Apparently so. Now I'm going to hurry back to the Normandy before I freeze my crest off. Could you please make me a dextro-hot choc?

2: Okay, I'll stash it in the Thermos in your cubby hole.

1: Thank you. Oh spirits why can't I ravish you tonight?

2: Two reasons.
1)we're keeping the relationship secret
2) There are no private and comfy places, excluding Shepard's cabin.

1: Drat and double drat. Is insanity from sexual frustration possible?

2: I think so. And don't worry it's driving me insane too.

1: Spirits, when you're away on duty, it's bearable. But having you one the same ship and we can't acknowledge each other more than friends...

2: Garrus, don't worry I'm sure Shepard will give us some shore leave.

1: He'd better or I'll end up dragging you into the showers or Mako at this rate.

2: Strange, I was just thinking the same.

Next up will be Toombs' mission. And yes Garrus really needs to stop jinxing things, doesn't he?

Three important things:

Number 1) The next Chap, I will reveal who won the poll for Shepard's affection. Is it the lovely, intelligent Liara? Or the bad ass vixen that is Ashley?

Number 2) To answer CyanB, I will get around to the Vorcha Mafia story... eventually.

Number 3) I have now gone back to school. It's the second to last term and of course it's soon going to be exam season, so there may be times where this is not updated for ages.

Trishata96