Author's note
Dear readers,
Thank you for dropping by. I hope you enjoy. Your reviews are welcome and cherished, always ;)
CHAPTER 10
It is starting all over again.
The man and the boy sit in absolute silence, wearing Melanie's patience thin in the process. The difference is that Harry is now determined not to look at Snape. His eyes are firmly stuck to the floor.
Another difference is that this time, it's Harry who finally takes initiative.
"Did I forget something, sir?"
"What?," Snape frowns.
"Did I forget to return you something before I left? I have left everything that belongs to you in your house. I packed only my things. But did I forget something? Please just tell me. I will find it and return it to you and then you can leave and forget about me."
"What are you talking about?!," Snape barks.
Melanie gives him a look. They have previously agreed that Snape will keep his temper in control.
"Tell me Mr Potter, what in Merlin's name has led you to believe I am dissatisfied about the monetary cost of keeping you? I have never mentioned anything of the sort!"
Another long silence endures. Harry stares at the floor and Snape stares at him.
"Whatever. You know what, I don't care. If you can't stand me, why keeping me in your house to begin with. I'm fine here. Leave me alone."
Snape is totally dumbstruck. Melanie gives him another look, and a nod of encouragement.
He sighs.
"And what has led you to believe I can't stand you? That's not true. There is no truth in that belief of yours whatsoever."
To Melanie's shock, Harry chuckles. A chuckle filled with irony, far too much irony for an eleven year old boy.
"If there is anything I have learnt from you the past year and also the past week, professor, it is exactly that. That you can't stand me. At school and at home alike. Leave me alone, Snape. For goodness' sake. Isn't torturing me at school enough for you already? You just have to bring me home to do that as well?"
"I can't believe you can say that after all I have done for you Mr Potter."
Melanie is a split second from cursing the man. Harry springs to his feet and shoots Snape a furious look.
"FINE! FOR YOUR INFORMATION I HAVE NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME, OR ANYTHING ABOUT ME AT ALL! I WILL PAY YOU BACK FOR EACH AND EVERY PIECE OF BREAD SCUM I HAVE CONSUMED IN YOUR HOUSE, SIR. LEAVE ME BLOODY ALONE!"
Just in time, Melanie catches the boy's wrist to stop him from pulling out the thing in his pocket. Be it his wand or his coins again, they are the same bad.
"Shh… calm down Harry. Calm down. Look, sit down," she whispers. " Mr Snape…," she eyes the man, gesturing him to leave.
But Snape ignores her. He goes immobile, completely at loss of words, or reactions for that matter.
Besides Melanie, Harry starts shaking while tears once again roll down his cheeks.
The frown on Snape's forehead grows deeper and deeper, until one point when he wildly rubs his face with one palm and lets out a heavy sigh.
Unexpectedly, he rises from his seat and walks around the table to approach Harry. Instinctively, Melanie pulls the boy into her arms.
But Snape only crouches down and cups Harry's face in his palms. To Melanie's surprise, Harry doesn't back away or protest.
"I don't know what I have done to give you that thought," Snape says gently, a forced gentleness. "But it's not true Harry. What have I done? Or what have I said? Is it all because I scolded you about wasting food at dinner yesterday?"
Harry shakes more violently as chokes interrupt his breaths.
"I didn't know you were feeling uneasy. I thought you would have told me if you had. And it's not about the food, whether you believe me or not. I was only trying to teach you good manners."
Harry sniffles.
"I should have asked why you were not eating properly before scolding you. But I didn't. For that I apologise."
Snape's fingers start to gently wipe away the two streaks of tears on the boy's cheeks. Harry makes no move.
"I'm strict," Snape continues. "That you must know well. I'm strict to all children. And I'm strict with you at home too, only because I want you to become even a better boy than you are now. You are a good boy. I have never managed to tell you that in words, but you are, Harry. I'm proud of you."
Harry's cry grows louder, his hands wildly squeezing the seam of his shirt. Snape keeps on wiping away tears from his face.
"We have gone a long way Harry. There is no reason we should give up only because of this. The past week I have not paid enough attention to your feelings, that's why I didn't know when you got hurt. But that can be changed. I will improve. Will you give me another chance?"
That question meets with silence. The only sound that can be heard is Harry's sobbing.
"I know you have tried to love me."
Both Snape and Melanie frown at the boy's sudden and tearful words.
"What do you mean?"
"I know you came to check on me every night," Harry says in between the sniffles. "I didn't dare to open my eyes but I was always woken up when you entered. I know you put on socks for me when I forgot. You tucked me in. You even kissed me good night."
Another choke interrupt his breaths. Snape's eyes are opening wide and Melanie is taken aback by the new information.
"I know you have tried to love me. But maybe it's just too much to have me around all the time. It's okay, sir. I…"
"Silly boy!," Snape exclaims. "Merlin help me, you are so silly. I was not trying to love you!"
With his palms he forces Harry to raise his eyes and look and him.
"I was not trying to love you. I did those things because I loved you. I still do and will always do whether you believe it or not."
Melanie's headache worsens. How is she supposed to handle this? To surprise her yet further, Snape pulls the boy into a hug. And Harry reacts by throwing his arms around the man's neck.
"Why would you love me?," Harry asks quietly. "I'm not my mum."
"I'm well aware of that Mr Potter. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you are not your mum."
Snape pauses for a moment. His hand starts to rub circles on Harry's back.
"I didn't adopt your mum. I adopted you. And I love you, even though you are being so very silly."
"Why would you love me?," Harry asks, his voice even more quiet.
Snape pauses again before delivering a very unexpected answer:
"That's a good question. I don't know."
Harry raises his head to look at Snape in surprise. Snape drives the conversation away from the topic:
"Might I suggest that we go home again, together, and start it over?"
He starts striking the boy's hair with one hand, absentmindedly. Harry comes back to the seam of his shirt.
"All right," Snape sighs. "I won't force you. But I will be there in the office. I will be waiting for you there as long as it is open, today, tomorrow and all the days to come as well. You can find me there anytime you feel like… going home again. Do you understand?"
Harry's crying calms down and eventually ends.
"I want to stay here today," he murmurs.
"That's alright. Still, I will be there in the office until it closes. You can find me there if you change your mind. Understand?"
Harry nods.
"Do you have enough clothes and your things for tonight? Do you want me to bring you anything from home?"
Without looking up, Harry slowly shakes his head.
"Socks?"
A drop of tear is an inch away from escaping the corner of Melanie's eye. She looks at Snape, who is now fully concentrating on his son.
Harry shakes his head again.
"You need to go wash your face."
He wipes the last drops of tears from the boy's cheek. Harry slowly stands up, and so does Snape. He pulls the boy into another hug.
"Don't be silly. I love you."
That night, long after curfew, Melanie still sees Harry's room dimly lighted. Making her way there, through the window she finds the boy lying in bed and seeming lost in his thoughts.
Gently pushing the window open, she says:
"It's past curfew, Harry. You should turn off your lamp."
"I'm sorry, ma'am," Harry murmurs while reaching for the lamp, still disoriented by being cut from his thoughts.
"It's fine, dear. Are you alright? Do you need anything?"
"I'm okay, ma'am. Thank you."
"Good night, Harry."
Walking back to her office, Melanie looks up at the rising moon. Only a few minutes ago it was still invisible.
But the clouds have moved away and there, the moon is shining in the clear night sky.