Title: Going against the world
Chapter: 9
Rating: PG
Summary: Luke has a flashback
Characters: Luke, Noah, Casey, Kevin, Megan, Maddie, Holden, Aaron, Emma
Genre: Drama, au, angst
Warnings:
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

5 year old Luke Snyder was walking happily alongside the cart; he had been allowed to go shopping with Holden and Aaron. Holden had told him to hold onto the cart as they shopped, which Luke did happily. But then Holden had met with a colleague and they had started talking.

Now nearly 30 minutes later Luke had to pee and he lightly touched his forefinger to Holden´s leg. Holden look down at him and asked harshly: "What? Can´t you see that I´m talking," before he turned and faced the man again.

"I have to go," Luke said in a little voice and looked down onto his sneakers. When Holden didn´t say anything Luke did anything he could to stop himself from peeing in the middle of the store – he crossed his legs so tight, that he wondered if he ever would be able to uncross them. But after some time Luke felt his legs starting to fall asleep. He uncrossed them and then felt the wetness running down his legs.

"Ha ha ha," Aaron started laughing as he came back to the cart after having been looking at toys in the next aisle, "you peed yourself."

Looking up at Holden Luke was met with angry glare from Holden. The former colleague excused himself and walked away. Suddenly Luke felt Holden hit him on the back of his head, and cringed as Holden said: "You´re such a disgusting pig, you can´t even hold yourself. Did you think it was funny embarrassing me in front of Thomas? Did you?"

Luke quickly shook his head as Holden had started pushing the cart toward the checkout lines. After paying for their items, Holden quickly packed everything up and packed the car.

As Luke walked in through the screen door with his small arms filled with things, he nearly dropped the eggs but instead he dropped the bottle of juice making it land in the floor with a thud. Holden came in behind him and slammed the paper down onto the tabletop, "God, you can´t even carry the groceries. Is there anything that you can do?"

Luke put the eggs and the other things on the tabletop and grimaced as Holden grabbed his arm and dragged him up the stairs to his room. Luke tried his hardest to fallow along with Holden´s big steps but his small feet and legs couldn´t so when he tripped on the last step on the stairs, Holden ended up with almost dragging him. Luke expected them to go into the bathroom but when Holden dragged him past that, he started in a small voice: "But …" that was all he managed to say as Holden opened the door to his room, showing Luke inside the nearest corner.

"Shut up, you bastard and stay here until I tell you otherwise," and with that Holden left, leaving the door standing open. Luke shivered but didn´t dare move. He could hear Holden and Aaron talking and laughing in the kitchen and a steady stream of tears started running down his small cheeks as he scolded himself in his mind for not being able to stop himself from peeing.

The sun had gone down making the room dark, when Luke heard the screen door open and Luke heard his grandmother´s voice: "I´m home," she spoke and laughed at something being said. Luke heard her steps up the stairs and tried to make himself as small as possible, but when Emma stopped outside his room. "Luke, baby, are you in here?" she asked and turned on the lights before stepping inside; the smell of urine hit her. Luke winced as the sharp lights hit his sensitive eyes and slowly turned around, keeping his head down to embarrassed to look his grandmother in the eyes. He heard his grandmother gasped as she saw her grandson in the corner, his jeans still a little wet.

"I had an accident," he said in a small voice and the tears started rolling down his face again. Emma gasped before hurrying forward to take Luke into her arms, trying to comfort him. "Shh, it´s alright, remember accidents happen." She whispered into Luke´s ear.

She lifted him up in her arms and kissed his forehead when he wrapped his arms and legs around her. She carried him to the bathroom where she sat Luke down on the closed toilet lid. "What happened?" Emma asked in a gentle voice as she helped Luke out of his clothes before preparing a bath for him. She listened intently as Luke told her the story, and Emma gasped as she saw the bruises on Luke´s arm from Holden´s hand.

After Emma had helped Luke into the bathtub and kissed him on his forehead as he started to play with his toys, she stormed out of the bathroom and angrily made her way downstairs. Holden and Aaron were sitting in front of the TV, eating their dinner, when Emma walked up and grabbed the remote of the coffee table and shut of the TV. "What is wrong with you?" She almost yelled at Holden as she walked closer to him.

"What?" asked Holden as he sat up in the sofa and looked at Emma. "You called him a disgusting pig? He´s 5, not 15." Emma was now hovering over Holden, Holden stood up and said: "He embarrassed me," he said and looked Emma in the eyes, not backing down.

"Big man," Emma said mockingly as she glared at Holden, making him squirm under her glaring gaze. "He´s a kid, all you needed to do was take him to the bathroom then nothing would have happened."

After a last angry glare from Emma, she made her way upstairs again and walked into the bathroom. There she found Luke sitting almost completely still. Emma sat down next to the tub and gently pushed to one of the ships flowing around in the water. "I´m sorry," Luke said softly and looked down into the water. Emma put a finger under Luke´s chin and turned his head. "Look at me baby," she said softly and waited for Luke to focus on her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, it´s not your fault. Do you understand?" asked Emma and smiled as Luke nodded.

Luke shook his head and hastily whipped away a tear from his cheek. He felt a body sliding in the seat next to him and looked up and saw Noah´s smiling face looking at him.

"Hi," Noah said and smiled softly at Luke, he could clearly see the sadness in Luke´s eyes. All Noah wanted to do was to wrap his arms around Luke and never let go. But just as he was about to ask Luke what was wrong, the other students started coming through the door and the bell rang indication that school was starting.

Noah looked down at Luke, who hadn´t move an inch. All the other students were quickly packing their things together and making their way out of the classroom. Noah felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around, seeing Casey and Kevin standing behind him with Maddie and Megan. "Come on, we´re taking me car and going out for lunch," said Casey.

"No thanks, I gonna stay here with Luke," Noah said and went to turn away from the group, but Casey´s hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Do I understand this right, you´re ditching us to hang out with f'aggot?" Casey almost spat.

"Hey," Noah said and felt the anger starting to ignite in his belly. "His name is Luke, why don´t you use it?"

"Because he is a f'aggot," Kevin spat and slung his arm out to hit Luke, but Noah blocked his way and gave him a light shove in the chest. "What are you doing? What has he ever done to you?"

"Come on man, let´s get out of here," said Casey and slapped Kevin´s right bicep. Noah watched as the group of 4 made their way out of the door.

Noah turned around and saw that Luke had packed his things and was standing up. He looked him in the eyes and was thankful that the hurt he had seen there before was now gone. "Thank you," Luke said softly and gave Noah a light smile.

"I wanted to," Noah said and smiled back watching Luke´s cheeks becoming a light shade of red.