Chapter Nine

Broken

Broken.

That's what he is.

Broken.

He's not himself. He's in pain... unbelievable pain... it sears through him like a hot poker, stabbing at him constantly. His head is throbbing, his nose is pulsing... his back... his back is white heat, constantly burning him down to the depths of his soul. He's broken and doesn't know if he can be fixed.

He's lying on a comfortable bed in the Healing Wing of the Palace, his blankets thrown off, probably during one of his nightmares where he replayed his torture at the hands of his brother. He's lying there on his side, the only position that doesn't pain him, with his eyes closed tight, trying to block out his surroundings and the events that have plagued him these last few days.

The whipping was four days ago and Loki was out cold for three of them. He has bruised ribs, a broken nose, a swollen and bruised eye and a split on his skull from the missiles the crowd threw at him. His back… it didn't bear thinking about. His mother had taken one look at it and burst into tears, hugging him close and apologising over and over. It was tender, some of the wounds still open. He'd been told that it would leave hideous scarring.

His brother had not been to see him. He assumed it was guilt that kept him away, but he had a niggling feeling Thor didn't believe their fathers words, still blamed him for the death of Fandral. He was angry; he didn't know why… did he even want to see his brother? After everything he'd done, everything he'd put him through… did he really want to lay eyes on him again?

He tried to move, but pain shot through his entire body. He winced and cried out, cursing his brother in his mind. Yes, he was broken and right now he was alone… The Healing Wing was large and he was the only one in there. He didn't get many visitors. His mother cried every time she came to see him and his father… well he had more important things to do. It dawned on him that he didn't have many friends… in fact, he had none. The only friend he had ever made was Ava.

Ava… beautiful Ava… He let his mind wander to her, remembering her face, her eyes… her smile. He barely knew her, had only known her two days before he was stolen away by Thor, but every time he thought of her his stomach flipped. He ached to see her, to know more about her… to hear her voice, that beautiful accent. He was captivated by her. The thought of never seeing her again made his heart shatter.

"Loki?" he jumped, pulled from his thoughts by his father's voice. His father was standing at the end of his bed, blue eyes searching his body; concern etched onto his already lined face. Loki was glad to see him, to have some company... some contact. His father's hands were in fists by his sides and his mouth set into a hard, angry line. He knows his father will never forgive Thor for almost killing him, he knows his father feels guilty he didn't wake up sooner; he thinks he could have prevented Loki's pain... his suffering.

"How are you feeling?" his father's voice was laced with comfort.

"I'm fine father... i just wish i could get out of this forsaken bed" he tried to move, but winced again as his ribs and back seared in protest.

"Lie still son, you will heal faster if you're still"

Odin took a deep breath and marched around to the side of the bed where he could see Loki. Taking his hands in his, he knelt on the floor beside him; his eyes searching his son's for a moment.

"I will never forgive myself for what has happened to you Loki... I couldn't live with myself if you... I'm glad i woke when i did, glad Heimdall came to find me... i just wish it had happened sooner" Loki saw the regret flash across his eyes... is he really blaming himself for Thor's mistake?

"It wasn't your fault" Loki replied quietly "I hold no ill feelings toward you... or Thor... words are powerful father... Thor was only doing what he deemed right"

His father's eyes widened and for a moment he said nothing, just squeezed Loki's hands, seemingly clinging onto him.

"I'm sorry for banishing you" he finally said, regret in his voice "Perhaps if you were here, this could have been prevented"

"I deserved it" Loki stated simply "Besides, it wasn't all bad"

A smile spread across his father's face and Loki couldn't ignore it; it was infectious. He ignored his bruised face as a smile spread across it.

"Yes, Heimdall has told me all about your adventures on Midgard... about Ava"

At the mention of her name Loki's smile faded and he felt the familiar pang in his stomach.

"Do you miss her?" his father asked, noticing his expression.

"Very much so" he smiled sadly at his father.

Odin nodded his head at him and patted his hand, before standing up and surveying his son.

"Would you like to go back?"

Loki thought a moment before nodding his head, feeling the familiar lump in his throat.

"Very well"

With those words his father turned and left the healing wing. Loki was alone once more. Alone with his painful thoughts he fell asleep, Ava's face swimming in his dreams.

"Two days" Enyra was shouting at her, her voice full of disbelief "You've known him two days! How can you possibly know him?"

"I just…. I miss him… I didn't even know I could" Ava lowered her eyes as sadness racked her body. Would he ever come back to her?

"Ava… you don't know him… he could be anyone" Enyra's tone was softer, kinder. Ava appreciated it, but it didn't help the empty ache she'd felt for the last four days, since Loki was taken away.

"I knew all I needed to know" her voice was barely audible "I wanted to know more… I need to know more" She felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes; she blinked them back and attempted to swallow past the growing lump in her throat.

"I worry about you, locked in the middle of nowhere… with a man you don't know"

"Hell, it's not like I'm running off tae get married Enyra… Ye wouldn't understand…"

"I'm trying to"

The two women were sitting in Ava's living-room, drenched in sunlight and warmth from the beautiful day outside. Slouched on the sofa's the women were sipping cups of tea and eating tablet; Enyra's favourite Scottish delicacy. Enyra hasn't left Ava's side since Loki was dragged from the cottage and Ava is grateful for the company, though a part of her would much prefer Loki's.

"You like him?" Enyra asked her voice interrogating. Ava looked up from her cup of tea; she could see Enyra trying to suppress a smile.

"I think so" Ava said quietly "He made my heart sing… my stomach flipped every time I saw him"

For the first time in four days she smiled and Enyra started giggling like a mischievous child. It was infectious and Ava couldn't help but laugh… really laugh. It was cathartic, healing almost. She'd spent so much of the four days quiet and subdued, sobbing herself to sleep, relishing in the fact her bed still held his scent. All the time wondering how can you miss someone you've just met, so much?

"Love at first sight" Enyra said through fits of giggles. Ava stopped giggling and contemplated those four words. Does she love him? No she told herself firmly, but she could grow to… she knows that.

"I just wish he'd come back" she said quietly, closing her eyes in silent prayer "I really do miss him En"

Enyra placed a hand on Ava's, a look of sympathy across her face.

"I know Ava; I know… he'll come back. Just keep a little faith"