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X. Broken Wings

The thunderous cold of the rain was no less than he deserved. What was it about her that turned him into a blithering idiot? Why did she call to his darkness like a siren? Would he ever be free of her?

He paused in the pouring rain and glanced up at the turbulent sky. There was only one way to be free of her. And even then…even if the answer was so very clear…it couldn't be more complicated. If she died, she'd take a part of him with her. If she died, would he die too?

He glanced at his reflection in a shop window. Would he simply fade away? And what would he be without her there inside of him, the yin to his yang, the darkness that licked at the edges of his soul? How many times had he stood over her and protected her from death?

He touched the cross on his chest, so small and simple. A talisman against the dark. It had worked, it had spurred him to turn her away. Had he finally been given the answer to the question he'd been asking all these years? Would it trap the beast inside him and keep the demons at bay?

It was just a piece of metal.

He heard the laughter and turned in the rain.

She was standing under the over hang of the motel laughing at something Joel was saying to her. Her face was alight with it, the laughter that was so inherent in her. She had no darkness in her. She was simply real. She wanted nothing but to love him. She offered him nothing but that love. No strings, no traps, no games.

It was just a piece of metal…but it was her faith that gave it power.

She turned as if she sensed him watching her. The smile that bloomed on her face was brilliant and breathtaking. She lifted her hand to wave. He took a step toward her and her smile froze, wilted. Something stole the smile and put a hardness in her eyes.

He turned his head and saw what had taken her joy.

The bitch in red.

She leaned against the wall of the clinic, smiling slyly. The rain pounded the ground around her and yet she was safe, shadowed under the roof of the porch. She waggled her fingers at Rebecca and blew her a slow, slow kiss.

And there he was - trapped between them. The symbolism wasn't lost on anyone.

Ada lifted her hand and knocked on the door of the clinic.

He called her name in the rain, starting toward her. She winked at him and the door opened. The beautiful doctor invited her inside.

He turned back to Rebecca. Her face was pale and lost. She glanced at him and then at the porch where Ada had stood. He watched something slide across her face, some level of pain that hurt him inside to witness.

She nodded at him; the answer to whatever question was on his face.

She turned away and went into her room and closed the door behind her.

His hands were clenched into fists at his sides. He turned back to the clinic and hurried up the porch. His hand knocked on the door.

Ada answered it, smiling sweetly. "Come inside."

He ducked into the office. It was warm inside and a fire crackled in the waiting room. The beautiful doctor came out of the back room.

"So I-Oh…" She stopped when she saw him, "Your husband?"

She was very French. The accent was so thick that it was hard to understand her at times. She smiled politely. "I am Dr. Dubois."

"Ron." He shook her hand, "I thought I wasn't going to make it for her appointment but it looks like I just did."

"Yes indeed," Dubois set a needle and the bottle of liquid she carried down on her desk, "Your wife is getting her tetanus updated."

"Is that so?"

"Qui. She is..what is word…exposed? For when you cut the hand on the rusty metal."

"Ah yes. I get your meaning. Well, I certainly want her protected from those pesky viruses." He was hoping the language barrier would dispel the sarcasm dripping from his tone.

Ada let her step close. She slipped the tracker on the underside of her fingertip and pretended to panic about the shot. She put her hand on the doctor's wrist, transferring the tracker. "Oh wait…I've changed my mind. I'm not…needles? No way."

She stood and hurried across to Leon. "Come on honey. I think I need a drink to get ready for something like that."

Dubois looked irritated. Likely she was being robbed of her prey. "You will come back, yes? You must be given this shot."

"Oh I will be back," Ada smiled at her, a snake about to strike, "I promise you."

Out on the street she slipped a portable device into his palm. "I set up a minicam in her office. I put a tracker on her. I'm giving you twenty four hours to stop her without hurting those women. Otherwise I'm taking her out."

Her eyes darted over his shoulder toward the hotel. He was betting she could see Rebecca's face in the window. And like the black widow she was, she moved in for the kill.

She curled her fingers into his shirt and pulled him down to her, "See you later, Leon." She pressed her mouth over his, soft, deadly.

He moved up toward the motel. Rebecca opened the door when he knocked. He looked like a drowned rat in the pouring rain.

And she could smell her on him.

He held the device out to her. "Surveillance inside the office. And she's now being tracked."

Rebecca stared into his face. He looked like a kicked puppy. "So...worth it I guess. Right?"

"Rebecca…"

She shook her head and closed the door again.

He bracketed her door with his hands in a push up motion and put his forehead against the wood. He bumped it there twice in frustration. When she didn't come back, he turned his back to the door and slid down it to sit on the ground in front of it. He put his head back against the door and waited.

Rebecca glanced out the window at the rain. What did she expect? She'd known the woman had her hooks in him. He'd never lied about that. What had she thought? That a few tumbles in the sack was going to change his mind? That he'd suddenly love her and forget about Ada Wong?

She slid down the door with her back against it. They sat there, mirrors of each other. She figured, somewhere, Ada Wong was getting the last laugh here.

His voice came through the wood. "There was a woman I loved once...a girl really. She left me on the side of the road and killed me with it. Raccoon City killed pieces of me in ways I can't even begin to describe."

Rebecca froze. He was talking...just talking...about what had come before. He was talking about the woman he'd loved and the spy who haunted him. She waited, breath bated. But he didn't say the name of the girl he'd lost. He wouldn't, she thought wildly, he was too loyal to impugn her now after all these years.

"I was twenty two when I met Ada. Young, stupid, and heroic. I fell in love with the character she played. This wide eyed, innocent, mysterious woman looking for someone in a city gone to hell. I was hooked before I knew it. The games got worse from the moment she knew she had me.."

Rebecca listened, transfixed.

"We played cat and mouse for a long time. She was always just one step ahead of me or behind me. For awhile, I thought it was because she was as in love with me as I was with her. How could you not love her? This enigma. This riddle. She was a goddess in red. And me? The bumbling boy in uniform every time she was near. As I got older, I could see what she really was: a liar. A conartist. A fake. Her names not even Ada Wong. Of course it isn't. I don't know her at all. And she'll probably go to her grave laughing at the bumbling boy in uniform who keeps chasing after her. You should stay on the other side of the door, honestly, I deserve it. And I deserve the emptiness she offers. It's what I get after being so stupid for so long."

The door opened. He turned his head and she knelt beside him.

"I told you I'd hurt you."

Rebecca cupped his cheek. "Is that really what you think you deserve? Games and emptiness?"

"I don't know how to want anything else."

"Then that bitch is going to keep on winning," She rose, pulling him to his feet. "Until you realize she's got nothing more on the man than the boy you were, she's going to keep winning."

She tugged him into the room and closed the door behind him. "It's freezing out there. Take off your wet clothes."

He set the portable tracking device and DVR on the table. His hands worked at taking his armor off again. She brought a towel from the bathroom and put it to his hair, helping him dry it.

She used the towel on his damp chest when he took off his soaked shirt. She shook her head at him a little. "You really think she's what you deserve. A bitch whose name you don't even really know."

Her hand wrapped around the cross against his bare skin. She pulled him down to her. "I will bleed her out of you. I don't care how long it takes. I'm going to make sure she's exorcised from your flesh like a demon. I will show you exactly what you deserve."

She scooped his hair back from his face. "You stupid…man." It was the worst insult she could think of and fit the situation. Man. What was it with men and their dicks? He'd been chasing the same piece of ass for close to twenty years.

"She must have crack in her vag."

He blinked down at her. Blinked again. "What?"

"She must literally have crack in her…crack." She let him go and sighed, moving across the room. "Why else would you chase her all this time?"

"I don't know." Although he was somewhat stunted by the image of crack in Ada's…crack.

"What's her birthday?"

"What?"

"What's her favorite television show? Who's her mother? Does she like figs? Where is a place she's always wanted to travel? What's her lifes ambition?" She shook her head at him. "Do you know any of these things?"

"No."

"Then what is it about her?" Rebecca shook her head again, "Is she married, Leon?"

"What?"

"MARRIED. Is she married?"

He simply stared at her. She nodded. "Yeah. You don't know. You don't know her at all. What's to love? Unless you are just so dead set on being miserable that you can't help but follow her over the cliff into it. There is, literally, nothing about her for you to love."

He tilted his head at her, "Everyone has good things about them, Rebecca."

He was such a boyscout. He saw the good in fucking everyone. It was infuriating..and endearing as hell. Rebecca sighed, loudly.

"Stop loving her!"

She hadn't meant to shout it. But there was no taking it back now. He blinked at her. She moved toward him, hooked her ankle behind his foot, and pushed him over as she took his legs out from under him. He bounced on the bed on his back.

"Idiot. You are chasing a woman who's been using you for twenty years. That's the first real thing about you that is pitiful." She turned to grab her coat from where it was draped over the chair. "You want to waste away pining for some stupid woman who can't be bothered to see you for what you really are, I can't stop you. But I can't sit here and listen to you wax nostalgic about her for another minute. This might be the first real moment I've considered that maybe you're right.."

"About what?"

"Maybe you do deserve the misery." She slammed the door behind her as she fled the room.

On his back, watching the shadows dance on the ceiling, Leon cursed his own stupidity.

Rebecca jogged out into the rain. The down pour stole her breath with its icy caress as she ran across the town square and ducked into the diner. She grabbed a booth and put her face in her hands, trying to gather her thoughts.

"Is this seat taken?"

The bitch in red slid into the booth across from her.

Rebecca eyed her through slitted lids. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want."

Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in the booth. "I'm not going anywhere."

Ada leaned across the table toward her,"Play nice, little girl. Or you'll find out how deep my bite can get."

"You think you scare me?" Rebecca leaned forward as well, "I don't care who the hell you work for. And I don't care who you think you are. I could take off and leave. I could do that and he probably wouldn't even notice I was gone. You'd win and you could use him and ruin him until there was nothing but a mindless husk left for you to control. But there's one little problem with that…"

She leaned in closer until the two women we're nearly nose to nose across the table. "I want him. Even more than you don't want me to have him."

Ada smiled, her eyes flaring with the challenge of it. "You clever little thing, you. Are you using love to tie him to you? He's got a big soft dopey heart, does our boy. I can play that game too. And he's loved me since before you were even a blip on his radar."

"Yeah?" Rebecca smiled at her, all teeth, "But you overplayed your hand there, didn't you? He was untouched when I found him."

Ada blinked, carefully masking the surprise but it had been there, for both of them to see.

"That's right. Chaste. For years. I had him that night and every night since. He couldn't get enough of me. I rode his body until he was addicted to me too and beat you at your own game."

Ada laughed, softly now, and grabbed Rebecca's chin in her hand to hold her still. "You stupid little mouse. Where do you think he was all day yesterday? Whatever you're giving him, it will never be enough to wipe me from his soul. And now that I've had him, I won't be giving him up. So it would be best if you tucked your little tail between your little legs and scurried back where you came from. People who cross me don't ever do it twice."

Rebecca shook off her hand, "Liar." Apparently, even faith wasn't strong enough to stop a black widow's bite.

Ada shrugged, rising from the booth, "Maybe I am." She leaned down to put her lips to the other woman's little ear, "He fucks like a machine doesn't he? He has the most perfect pink dick I've ever seen. And a girl can certainly appreciate his desire to keep the playing field so well trimmed. What a gentleman. Did he come home smelling like me?" She watched the pain slide over the other girls face and twisted the knife home, "Or did he shower before he came to you? You go ahead and keep playing with him. He's a fun little toy. He'll tire of you eventually. But just remember whom he's thinking of while he's fucking you. We both know where this story ends. Do yourself a favor, get out while you still have some shred of dignity left."

The door of the diner rattled as she left.

Around her, people were laughing and talking and eating. Rebecca sat in the booth feeling a little numb. She rose and slipped from the booth.

He answered the door on her first knock. Shirtless in his sweat pants, he studied her face. She waited, feeling the cold rain beating down on her.

"Where were you yesterday?" The sky grumbled in sympathy. He looked defeated. She felt defeated. But under the defeat, the storm was brewing.

His face told her everything she needed to know. He stepped back from the door. "Come on. Come in. You're getting drenched out there."

She moved passed him into the room. He closed the door and leaned back against it.

"Ada paid me a visit."

He crossed his arms over his chest, a classic defense mechanism,"Ok."

She shook her head against the throb of pain that propelled the words, like a curse, from her lips, "Say it."

"Rebecca.."

"Say it now. Do it now. Or I'll never respect you again."

She watched his breath hitch. She saw it echo on his face. It hurt him to admit it. He wasn't proud. He wasn't rubbing her face in it. He was ashamed of himself. It was all over him while he stood there with his arms crossed against the pain.

But he was still a boyscout - he didn't lie.

He said it.

"I was with Ada yesterday afternoon."

"With her? Or within her?"

He said nothing, just stood there staring at her. His silence was loud and awful and painful and terrible. She felt like someone had gut punched her. She put a hand to her lower belly and held it.

He moved away from the door. Her voice shook with hurt and fear. Fear of what? That he'd touch her and kill her with it. "Don't."

She lifted a hand at him. "Don't you dare. Did you come here after you left her? Did you come in here and fuck me after you fucked her?"

"That's not how I meant for it to happen. I came here to tell you about her. To tell you about everything."

"And somehow you conveniently forgot to mention the fucking? Is that it?"

He moved a little closer to her. She pointed at him. "I mean it, Leon. Don't touch me."

Hands out, face desperate like talking down a jumper, he implored, "Let me explain. Please."

"Stay there. I mean it. Talk. No one is stopping you."

"She's got this..hold on me."

"I'm gonna be sick," Rebecca closed her eyes, swayed on her feet, "I'm literally going to be sick. Stop. No more. I can't listen to this shit again."

"It's complicated."

"It's simple. It really is. You thought you'd screw us both." Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance, "But I guess you kinda did, didn't you? Was she good, Leon? Did she pant and moan and worship your huge talent?"

"Stop it. Don't talk like that. You're above this."

She laughed, angrily, "Am I?! I'm a woman, Leon. A woman. And I feel things like one. Did she? Did she make you feel like I did? Or would any old whore have done the job? Was she as stupid and desperate as me? As earnest and dumb? Did she cry and hold you and debase herself like a pathetic child?"

His face flashed with something painful, "I mean it, Rebecca. Stop talking about yourself like that."

The loyalty to her, even against herself, was so fucking charming. It was earnest and pure. She hated him for it. He was too busy respecting her to covet her like the woman who'd stolen him.

"Why? Do I sound like her? She basically called me the same thing a few minutes ago. Maybe you're so fucking mad because you hate that I'm right. Did she get wet when you touched her? Did she taste like betrayal?"

Oh, she mused, he was getting angry now. What fucking right did he have? What right? He'd come here still on the heels of fucking that…thing…and threw himself on top of her without so much as a second thought.

"Did you finally find out what's under that red dress? Is her pussy everything you hoped it would be? Is it worth twenty fucking years of waiting?"

"Damnit Rebecca, don't push me!" His voice rolled rich and dark, grumbling out of his chest.

She did. This time, she did. She pushed him; she shoved at his bare chest so hard it sounded like the wet slap of meat and thunder. His eyes flashed blue fire. His hands stayed open, flat, at his hips but she saw him tremble. Because the warrior in him wasn't the type to lay down and wait when something attacked him. He trembled because she knew part of him wanted to push her back.

The part that wasn't a warrior felt like he deserved the push.

"Was it worth it, Leon? Was it!?"

And he was still the guy who told the truth. She'd asked for it after all.

"YES!" He shouted it at her, startling them both with the rage in his voice, "It was amazing! Is that what you want to hear? It was dark and dirty and sweaty and damning."

He grabbed her arms and shook her. She recoiled, disgusted with him.

"You're right! It was twenty years…and I had to know. I had to know what it would be like with her. I had to know. I had to."

"Let me go." Her voice was hard and lost, angry and broken. "Now. Let go of me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't fucking say that. Don't. I don't care."

"I'm sorry!" He let go of her and she moved away, put her hands on either side of the sink and her head down. She took slow, deep breaths.

"I need to finish, please." Imploring now. The rage on his voice was all desperation. "Please."

Rebecca shook her head, again. Shook it and kept standing there, trying to get her rage under control. "Don't."

"I had the chance to again today."

"Shut up."

"I didn't. Look at me. Rebecca, look at me." Commanding, yes, but still so desperate. Begging.

She turned, slowly. She was so pale now. He took a step toward her and she pointed at him. He went still again.

"Please, I never lied. I didn't. You knew, always, about her. I don't want to feel what I feel for her. I don't want to feel like this." He lifted his hands, helpless.

The bubble of rage burst in her chest and made her breath hitch. Her heart hammered painfully behind her sternum. She laughed and it sounded like broken glass. It hurt them both.

"You want sympathy from me? You want me to feel sorry for you because you fucked that bitch and hated yourself for it? Is that it?" She shook her head and laughed, brokenly, it ended on a short sob. Horrified that she'd start crying and ruin her moment finite righteous anger, she pointed at him again. "You don't get to feel sorry for yourself. You bastard. But the good news is you're off the hook. I told you this was just sex. I promised that. It's my fault because I let it get deeper, I let it get stronger. I let you…I let you in. Weren't you always telling me not to let you in?"

She laughed again and the dam broke, she slapped a hand against her mouth to try to hold back the sobs. But they came out of her mouth on a hiccup and gasp.

"Please don't. Don't cry." He sounded so lost, so defeated. He moved toward her. He looked like he'd let her push and slap and kick him now. His whole face just crumbled in defeat. "Rebecca..."

Her name came out of his mouth like a prayer.

She lifted a hand that flopped uselessly against his chest as he gathered her into him. "Don't…" It was muffled against his chest as she broke, sobbing against him. "Let go…"

Don't let go. It sounded about right.

She was so tired of being the weak one. The soft one. The girl in the medic vest. She was no fighter. She wasn't a warrior. She was just a scientist. She didn't know how to fight a spy for a hero.

She sank to the floor with him holding her. Her hands came up to clutch at his back as she buried her face against his chest and died a little inside. He held her so tightly she thought they might split skin and merge into one.

"I'm sorry," It was his litany, his mantra, "You have to forgive me. You have to."

She was shaking her head now. She slapped his back even as she held him tighter. "You didn't promise me anything…" She wept it against him, hiccupping and gasping to get air, "You didn't. We can just…we can just stop this now."

"No! No. I can't…I just…I said no," He pulled her face up to his, tried to tell her what the worlds in his mouth wouldn't and couldn't say, "I said no. I told her no. I hurt you once and I'm sorry. I won't hurt you again."

"You should go," She pushed him away, covering her face with her hands, "I need to…I have to think. I need you to go. Go finish things with Dubois. I need to be alone."

He tried to pull her back and she shook her head. "...then I'll go."

"Wait…Rebecca...wait..."

"Don't follow me, please. I mean it, Leon. Just leave me alone."

She raced out into the rain leaving the door hanging wide open. The pain of it nearly cut him off at the knees. He felt like someone had dropped kicked him right in the fucking heart. He rubbed his chest to be sure it was still beating in there.

The cross brushed his hand. He curled his hand around it so tightly he felt it cut into his flesh.

He'd deal with Dubois. He'd do the job he'd been sent to do here. That was something he could handle, something he could control.

And then…then he'd find a way to clean up the mess he'd left behind.