Chapter 10: Just Friends

Disclaimer: Doctor Who and its characters belong to the BBC, and sadly not to me. I don't own anything nor do I make any money from writing my stories.

Rose's outfit for this chapter is in the link on my profile.

Happy reading, guys !

- DW -

The recent scene of Rose Tyler and Martha's was flashing thought the Doctor's mind. His hearts shattered every time he was thinking about Rose's tears and now, regret and guilt battled inside his soul. When the Doctor came back into reality, he was breathing heavily. He walked around the console and sat down on the captain's chair, and groaned while putting his head in his hands. He didn't want to cry in front of Donna and Jack, but the desire was not that far. He felt his throat constricted as if someone had wrapped a hand around his neck. He felt tears burning in his eyes, but he refused to let them drop.

Nothing, in all adventures, had alarmed Donna more than the sight of the Doctor, so lost, hopeless and sad. She was feeling very bad about this story, mostly seeing her space man like that. But Jack had found a good idea, because seeing the reaction of the Time Lord; she would never have the strength to tell him in face to face. The video did her job, and she was glad of it.

"Oh, Rassilon, no" growled the Doctor.

The sadness was quickly replaced by anger. He jumped off the captain chair and began to trail around the console. His fists were clenched tightly, like his jaw, and his eyes were dark. He was in a rage. How could the woman that he considered like one of his best friends turned out be so uncaring towards the woman he loved? Why did she do that? He could feel Donna and Jack's gaze on him, they were probably worried by his behaviour, and he didn't care.

Jack began to worry about Martha's safety. He had predicted that the Doctor was going to get angry, but not at this point. An angry Doctor was more frightening than anything he had ever encountered in his all life. The Oncoming Storm, he already had the opportunity to see that and actually, it was terrifying. Donna and Jack looked at each others and in just a glance, they came to an agreement that it was imperative to calm down the Doctor.

"Doctor, calm down ..." said Jack, but he was soon interrupted by a furious Doctor and Jack backed out a bit.

"Calm down? Calm down, Jack?" cried the Doctor. Jack, seeing the anger in his eyes, knew he could not argue with him. But he had to calm him down. "Did you hear what Martha said to Rose? Why did she do that? Where is she? Where is Martha?"

He walked towards the Tardis's hallway, but someone stopped him by taking one of his arms. He suddenly turned to the person who was holding his arm abruptly and saw Donna with tears in her eyes.

"Doctor, calm down, please" said Donna, trying to sound and look confident but she was sure she was failing, and especially with tears in her eyes. It was complicated to sound and look confident in front of a nine hundred years old alien, who was seething with anger. But she didn't want to flinch in front of him; she was trying to avoid a massacre between the Doctor and Martha. Although Martha had done something wrong, she remained friends with Martha and she didn't want her to leave because of a stupid mistake.

"Doctor, listen. Martha is my friend, and she also your friend, right?" added Donna.

"Friend? Donna, do you really think that friends do such things to each others? I don't think so! "

Donna put her hands on his shoulder to try to show her empathy, but she needed to calm him down.

"Doctor! I know that Martha did something wrong, really wrong. I know that! But try to think, just a few seconds, please, before you do something you might regret. Did she have a reason to do so? Because people don't do that kind of thing without reasons. Did you give her false hope? I don't know, maybe she misinterprets something you have said or done to her? I try to find an explanation for her actions. Because I know her, and you know her as well, and we both you it is not Martha, this is not the Martha that we know. What do you think?"

Donna sighed in relief when she was the Doctor nodding and he seemed to consider the words she had just told him. Jack didn't want to interrupt; he saw that Donna had more or less succeeded to calm the Doctor. Donna stepped back and walked toward Jack with a grimace on her face.

The Doctor took a few steps and sat down on the captain chair, once again. He took a deep breath, he was aware he needed to calm down. Fortunately, his Donna was here.

He was lost in his thoughts once again, ignoring and forgetting that these two friends were looking at him with a mix of compassion and terror. On one hand, they had understood the anger of the Lord of Time, but on the other hand, they had to protect Martha from The Oncoming Storm. Martha was not a bloody Dalek after all.

The Doctor was just starting to calm down. Maybe it was his fault after all? How could he blame Martha when he had kissed her the first time? Well, it was a genetic transfer, but it remained a kiss on the lips … at least for Martha.

How could he blame Martha when he had agreed to share a bed with her? He was a Time Lord, he didn't sleep that much, he didn't need to share a bed with her and give her misconceptions.

How could he blame Martha when he hadn't pushed away when she had kissed him earlier? Why had he kissed her back? Why?

Because he was stupid … or maybe too nice?

He wouldn't hurt Martha's feelings for anything. She was his friend, one of the best. If it had been anyone else, he would have dumped their asses, but it was Martha. Donna was right; Martha was his friend, even his best friend. He couldn't do that, even after what she did.

Because after all … maybe Martha was confused by her feelings? The whole story was perhaps based on a misunderstanding from Martha?

Maybe Martha didn't know he was still in love with Rose?

On one side, he had talked a lot about Rose but he had never said anything about his feelings for her, to anybody. How could she have guessed?

Maybe Martha believed that he was seeing Rose like a little sister or his best friend?

Who knew?

But that didn't excused the fact that she went to Rose's bedroom to tell her all those things.

What she did was wrong, but that didn't deserve all this anger that he was ready to pour over her a few minutes ago. He needed to talk to Martha and put everything straight, once and for all.

But first of all, he had to see if Rose was fine in the med bay. He wanted to be there when she wake up again. And last but not least, Rose had to hear the truth about his relationship with Martha.

The Doctor stood up while looking at Donna and Jack and frowned.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked the Doctor, raising one of his eyebrows.

"We are just wondering what you intend to do?" asked Jack. He hadn't moved from where he was, but he placed his arm on Donna's shoulders.

He slowly walked towards Jack and Donna. The rage in his eyes had more or less disappeared, which was reassuring the two humans. The Doctor simply replied with a monotone voice:

"I'll go see Rose and Martha and put everything in order. Apparently, there is some misunderstanding and I think it's time that the truth is restored"

With these words, he disappeared in the hallway of the Tardis, leaving Donna and Jack, alone in the console room, with only one thing to do: wait.

- DW -

The Doctor entered into the med bay and saw that Rose was still asleep. He pulled a chair up next to Rose's bedside and waited to Rose to wake up. He watched his Rose sleeping peacefully, while wondering how he would talk about Martha with her.

He wanted so much for her to wake up, take her in his arms, talk to her, see her beautiful smile, hear her laugh and … kiss her. Yes, he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her since he had met her; the day he had took her hand and had told her to run.

From that moment, he knew she was special, that she would change him for the best.

His guardian angel.

But he had pushed her away, because he was afraid of losing her. He was afraid to commit into a relationship without a future, because he knew that someday he will lose her, his eternal fear. The suffering he would have endured after the death of Rose would have been too unbearable. That was why he never said anything about his feelings.

But then came that day… the day he lost his angel. He realized too late that regardless of the statue of their relationship between them, the pain was there.

Everyday, he had cried.

Because he had always regretted he'd never kissed her, without being possessed by an entity or a bitchy trampoline. Or because he had never told her those three words … those words he'd never told to anyone.

Only her, just her, always her.

She was engraved in his heart for eternity. His pink and yellow human. His guardian angel. His Rose.

And someday maybe, his wife. He had dreamed so many times, of Rose becoming his wife, that he'd lost the count of it. He had dreamed of this, but being human and mortal, he had refused to allow himself to even consider it.

But now, after discovering the wonderful gift from the universe, becoming his wife could finally become reality.

Well, if he could clean up the mess that Martha had created, and it will not to be easy. And of course

… a moan brought him out of his thoughts. He jumped from his chair and his hand cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead.

"Rose" said the Doctor with a very soft voice; his throat tightened with emotion.

Rose moaned once again and slowly opened her eyes; the first thing she saw was the face of the man she thought she had lost forever.

"Doctor" she said with a little smile, but her eyes looked sad.

"Long time, no see" he replied with a grin, but he had noticed the sadness in Rose's eyes. But he couldn't help but smile.

She was in front of him, and he could talk to her and touch her. He wanted to savour these sensations, even if it was for a short time. He didn't know if she would let him touch her like that anymore, because of … Martha.

"Yeah … indeed." she said. The Doctor helped her into a sitting position, and they looked at each other a moment. Rose spoke again while staring into his eyes: "Is this real?"

He cupped her cheek with his hands and replied with a sad smile:

"Losing you many years ago, saving the universe was … very real." his eyes were far away, lost in his own thought. He was remembering the day he had lost Rose. "And now, our reunion is a reality and a beautiful gift from the universe. Rose … everything is real. You're here; I'm here, in the Tardis."

Rose closed her eyes and shivered under his touch with his hands on her cheeks, she couldn't believe it.

She was back. But how?

She had asked to the best D.O.T.E's researchers to find a way to return to her world. But in vain, they had given up the searches for lack of result. And there she was, back in the Tardis with the Doctor in front of her, and who could touch her.

"How is that possible, Doctor? How I came back?"

"Long story." he answered with a smile full of tenderness. "I think you'd be better in your bed, it's more comfortable."

Rose nodded and stood up with the Doctor's help. She was still wrapped by his long brown coat. She still felt a little groggy, but she could put one foot before the other without too much difficulty. But she was not going to complain because the doctor was holding her firmly by the waist.

- DW -

They were both in Rose's bedroom. Rose was sitting on her bed, leaning against the headboard and the Doctor was sitting on the edge of the bed. Rose couldn't believe it, the Doctor told her everything about the rift, the Bad Wolf and the connection with the Tardis.

"So, if I understand correctly..." said Rose with a little frown that the Doctor was finding adorable. "I'm connected to the Tardis … since I looked into Her heart?"

"Yep! Your timeline is connected to Hers now." answered the Doctor while nodding.

"Ok, but concretely, what does that mean? Am I in danger?"

"No, it's not dangerous … if it was … you'd be …" replied the Doctor, swallowing hard. He refused to say the word. "Rose … your timeline is connected to the Tardis's timeline. That's mean you'll live as long as the Tardis."

Rose's jaw dropped, she will … what? No!

"Doctor, one day, you had told me that you were connected to the Tardis and the day you will die for good, the Tardis will die too. So that means that …"

"That means that you will live as long as me, Rose." finished the Doctor, his eyes twinkling.

"I can give you my forever?" she said, tears in her eyes. Her dream had finally come true: staying all her life with the Doctor. The curse of the Time Lord was finally over, he was not alone anymore.

"And I can give you mine, Rose." replied the Doctor, taking Rose's hands in his own. He was finally able to tell her those three words he should have said on this damn beach. The Doctor leaned towards her, and with one hand, he cupped her cheek. He looked intensely into her eyes and said:

"Rose … I have something to tell you … I lo…"

"I know" she interrupted dryly.

"You ... you … know?" stammered the Doctor. He didn't know how she could know it but a small smile appeared on his face. "This is great for you to know, but I want to say it out loud, I need you to hear it, you deserve to hear it, Rose." he said, while his thumb stroked her cheek.

"No, there's no need. You don't need to." She replied dryly once again. Doctor could see that Rose's eyes were filled with tears … and not happy tears, but sadness's tears. He suddenly realized that they were not talking about the same thing.

And then … He understood what she meant and he felt his heart tighten and a knot forming in his stomach. He was not ready to talk about that with her, not yet. He wanted to tell her his feelings before talking about Martha. But Rose said something that surprised him:

"I'm happy for you. I'm glad you found someone … really." she said with a trembling voice, doing her best to not cry in front of him.

"Rose! No, it's not what you th…"

"Did you kiss her?" suddenly asked Rose.

"... Yes" he answered with a little voice and lowering his head. He didn't like the direction this conversation had taken.

Rose felt her heart break at his answer and her next question was not going to fix the state of her heart, but she had to know if what Martha had said was true.

"Have you ever shared a bed with her?"

Although he didn't want to answer to that question by fear of breaking her heart, he also didn't want to hide the truth, not to her, not anymore, about anything.

"Yes" he answered, but quickly added: "but it's not what you th… " but he didn't have the time to said anything more, because Rose interrupted him.

"Very well, that's all I needed to know … I'm happy for you, you know? I'm happy if you are happy. I …yeah, I'm happy." she said, her voice breaking on almost every word.

"Rose, it's not what you think. I swear to you, just let me expl…" he pleaded, but once again, she interrupted him. She didn't want to know the details. She already knew enough, thanks to Martha.

"Doctor, it's all right. You don't have to explain anything to me. You continued your life, like I had continued mine. But unlike you, I haven't had the chance to find someone else, too busy with my work, you know. But I'm fine …" she said, trying her hardest not to cry.

The Doctor stood there without moving, sitting on the edge of Rose's bed. He was staring at her, he could see that she was not well and it was understandable. Martha had told her all those things and he wasn't helping, sitting here.

But he didn't want to lie to her. Yes, he had kissed Martha. Yes, he had shared a bed with her. But, nothing had happened between them, and Rose needed to know that.

"Rose, Martha and I are just frie ..." he tried to say.

"You don't have to lie, Doctor. You don't have to hide your relationship with her, I … not to me, not because I'm back. Especially that … I was not supposed to come back to this universe. You thought you'll never see me again, so obviously … you move one with your life. You met new people and I understand … yeah, I understand. And quite honestly, … I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this because we weren't a couple so…" she said, her eyes fixed on her hands, not daring to look at the Doctor. She didn't want to show him how much her heart and soul was broken.

"Rose, please, listens to me!" he begged.

"Just friends, it's fine by me. I don't want to be immature or cry because you move on with your life and it would be childish. You met someone else and … she seemed very nice. I'm happy for you … so just friends? Is that okay with you?" she said, her head down.

The Doctor's heart immediately broke when he heard her words. How that 'just friends'? She didn't have any feelings for him anymore? These three words she had said to him on that beach … No! He refused to think that she said 'I love you' on a whim … at the moment … just like that. Or maybe her love for him had dissipated over time?

"Is that what you want? Just friends?" asked the Doctor, his throat tightened with emotion. He didn't want to be just friends with Rose, he wanted so much more with her. Especially now, she would live as long as him. It was the gift for them from the universe. He wanted more now, more with her.

"It's not as if we had a choice, right?" replied Rose

"Rose, please, lis..." said the Doctor, with his eyes closed.

"Just friends" she interrupted, with watery eyes.

"Just friends" the Doctor repeated, defeated, while he got up from the edge of the bed. He couldn't believe it. "I'll let you rest a little longer. If you need me … I'm in the console room, with the others." he added, totally broken from this conversation.

"Great" she replied, thinking about the fact that by the others, he meant Martha and probably Jack.

He left the room and began to wander down the hallway of the Tardis, hands in pockets and tears sliding down his cheeks. He was devastated that their reunion turned that way and because of whom?

Because of him, of course. It was all because of him: hurting the only person he fell in love with, hurting the woman he loved.

And the hardest thing to believe was that the love of his life had no feelings for him anymore.

She wanted to be just friends.

- DW -

Author's note

Here's the tenth chapter. (Tenth … always the best: D)
Don't kill me, please! XD Don't worry, I love happy ending.
Many thanks to my followers, those who have favorited, and those who have reviewed. I adore you all, guys. That means a lot to me, so thank you a lot guys. I was not sure about this story, but seeing that you enjoying it … yippee! :D
God, I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter. And I also hope I hope I didn't do a lot of mistakes because I have a cold and I don't sleep well . :'( I HATE being sick.
AND I have a little problem with my left eye … I'm tired! XD

Xxx