Aerith gasped. "You're here! You're here! Did you get the stuff?" she was so excited. Tifa started pulling bottles out of the bag in her hands.
"Whiskey, tequila, daiquiri mix, sour mix, margarita mix, vodka, and blue raspberry Jello!" Tifa said lining everything up in front of her. "Oh! And check this out…seasons 1-4!" Tifa said. Aerith was about to burst with excitement. "Wait….wait…I went to the mailbox…I have something else…"
"What is it! What is it! What is it!" Aerith insisted. She squealed at what Tifa put into her hands.
"Oh my god it's my credit card! It's finally here! I can't wait to use this tonight!" Aerith said.
"Alright, my turn! My turn! Okay…I have…302 pages of high quality lingerie selection with promises of free shipping if we get this order called in by 7:30 tonight. Next, I have the menu for Shamsky's!" Aerith said.
"Wait, why should I be excited about Shamsky's menu?" Tifa wondered.
"Because….THEY DELIVER NOW!" Aerith yelled.
"Oh my god!" Tifa said excitedly.
"I know! Okay, okay….I also haaaave…THIS PICTURE OF YOU AND CLOUD THAT I PUT IN THIS FRAME!" Sorry, I didn't mean to yell that, I'm just getting a little worked up!" Aerith said.
"OH MY GOD! THIS IS A GREAT PICTURE, THANK YOU! I mean…yeah…sorry…it just…you really did pick out a nice frame for this." Tifa said.
"Now, close your eyes and take my hands…I have something else for yooooooou! But, it's a surprise!" Aerith said.
Tifa closed her eyes and took Aerith's hands as she had instructed. She walked Tifa through the living room. And flipped on a light. "Okay! Open your eyes!" Aerith said happily. Now, Tifa was by no means an overly girly girl…but the sight before her made Tifa scream like a 5th grader at a pop concert.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Tifa said slightly falling backwards into Aerith.
"See! I knew you'd love it! It's what you picked out the other day at the mall! IT MATCHES YOUR BLACK FURNITURE!" Aerith squealed hugging Tifa.
"Can I sit down on it?" Tifa asked.
"Of course you can, it's your bedding! The comforter is all soft and smooth. I wanted to get you a pillow with bows on it to go with those black and white pillows but I was afraid you'd say it was too girly." Aerith said.
"I love it! It's all so soft and so perfectly matching! I love it!" Tifa repeated.
"This is my gift to you for being a total bitch and getting my period all over your old comforter! See, aren't you glad I ruined it!" Aerith asked excitedly.
"Well, not exactly…I was pretty pissed at you for that….but I love this so much! Thank you, that was really nice of you to do that." Tifa said.
"To be honest Tifa, me and Zack both have been a bit on the high maintenance side lately so we really felt like we owed you and Cloud. I mean, you've not even lived here a week and me and Zack have been complete assholes and acting like we call the shots when in fact I don't even technically live here." Aerith said. Tifa smiled. There was no way in hell she could ever be mad at Aerith long.
"It's okay, Aerith it is. I just thought of something…what if Cloud comes in tonight…sees this and hates it?" Tifa wondered.
"Oh, don't worry. That won't happen. I texted him pictures earlier." Aerith laughed as if she were up to something. "I can't tell you what I wrote in that text message though. Now come on! We have drinks to make and a catalog to go through!" Aerith said pulling on Tifa's arm. "I want to mix all the stuff!" Aerith said rushing for the tequila bottle.
"You are a horrible mixer, Aerith! I do this for a living! Now go sit down and I'll make you a margarita on the rocks. Put season three in! I want to start with that one!" Tifa insisted.
Aerith and Tifa had the apartment to themselves tonight. Zack and Cloud had to work tonight because tonight was the night that Shin-Ra cargo came in on trucks, helicopters and a few small planes. They had the past two days off simply because this would be one hell of a night at Shin-Ra. It would be chaotic and stressful due to the heavy volume of cargo coming in. Anything from weapons to printer paper was being delivered tonight and all deliveries were on a tight schedule that had to be followed. So, here Aerith and Tifa were…their first night alone in the apartment and they had obviously planned it down to the last detail.
"Tifa! Do you want to be the blue, black, red, or purple pen? It's for when we mark this catalog!" Aerith said.
"I want to be purple." Tifa said. "Hey, you need to go get the paper shredder ready because we have to destroy that catalog after we order out of it! There can be no evidence that we have ordered a shit load of slutty stuff."
"Don't worry Tifa, we won't be totally slutty." Aerith reminded her.
"Speak for yourself. If it looks like something I can wear in public I'm not ordering it." Tifa said starting the blender. She paused it after she had crushed the ice for the daiquiris Aerith had requested earlier that day. "By the way, why does Zack own a paper shredder?" Tifa wondered.
"Oh, he's fascinated with it. It's not really his…he took it from the 3rd floor of the Shin-Ra building. He loves to shred things and then run it in reverse to see if the paper goes back together. It's sad actually." Aerith said. "Okay, I'm the red pen. You are going to write down all the prices and I'm going to write down all the ordering information. But first…I'm going to activate my credit card!" Aerith said excitedly.
"Here, start with this margarita. Daiquiris are in the freezer. You activate your card and I'm going to get started." Tifa said sitting down beside Aerith on the couch.
"Here's to lace, sheer chiffon, satin, the perfect garter, and the best sex we ever had." Aerith said holding her glass up to Tifa's.
"I'll drink to that." Tifa said. Tifa started to flip through the first couple pages of this monstrous catalog while Aerith activated her credit card. "By the way, my rule for you is that you must pick out at least three things that aren't pink!" Tifa insisted. They each decided to come up with one spending rule for each other while scanning this catalog. Aerith punched some numbers on the phone.
"My rule for you is that you have to get something with at least one bow. One Tifa! That's all I'm asking." Aerith said. Tifa took a drink of her margarita and sat it on the glad table in front of her and Aerith.
"I can do that." Tifa promised her. Aerith put the phone down and clapped her hands excitedly.
"MY CREDIT CARD IS ACTIVATED!" Aerith yelled. "Okay, how do you want to do this? Are we going to go page by page together? It's 4:30 right now. We have three hours to get through this catalog and have the order placed." Aerith said.
"We can do it. Let's make sure our list is complete by 7:15…that gives us…15 minutes to phone in the order. Oh god I must have that!" Tifa said.
"Ooooh get it in that bright blue! I would want to sleep with you if I saw you in that!" Aerith said.
"Okay, write that down." Tifa said making the first mark in this catalog in purple pen. Aerith made the first entry on the notebook paper they had for this project.
"Yes! They have this thing here in pink!" Aerith looked around. "You know, we are so screwed if the Turks have this place wire tapped and are recording this conversation. You know how they love to monitor me and my sacred bloodline." Aerith said.
"Oh please, Aerith! They stopped watching you after your 5th date with Zack and you know why! Sacred bloodline my ass!" Tifa said laughing at her.
"That is not true! I didn't sleep with Zack until…" Aerith thought a moment. "…alright fine! I did sleep with him on our 5th date!"
"See, now had you given it up to another Ancient…yes the Turks would still be watching you. But now they don't care; you're damaged goods to them." Tifa said still laughing at her.
"Can you believe I slept with him on the 5th date and we're still together ten months later?" Aerith asked.
"No, I really can't. I mean seriously, I can't." Tifa paused. "Why did you sleep with him on your fifth date!"
"I don't know! He was hot…ter than usual that particular date!" Aerith said laughing.
"He was in uniform wasn't he?" Tifa asked making another circle in this catalog.
"Yes! Yes, he was." Aerith admitted.
"What the hell did you all do on that date anyway?" Tifa wondered.
"We had dinner, we made out a lot, and we had sex." Aerith said. Tifa laughed at her.
"I swear to god, Aerith. You kill me. Are you ready for another margarita or do you want that daiquiri now?" Tifa asked.
"I want a daiquiri." Aerith said flipping a few more pages of the catalog. Tifa got up to get it for her. "Oh my god! I found a half price page!" Aerith said excitedly.
"Let me pour this really quickly and I'll look at it with you." Tifa said.
"Hey, what time are Zack and Cloud coming home tonight?" Aerith asked.
"Cloud's shift isn't over until 1:30 in the morning. He said the deliveries started at 4:00 today. I don't know anything about Zack's shift." Tifa said returning to the couch.
"You think it's different?" Aerith wondered.
"Probably. Cloud said the 1st Class would have a better night than his guard group. Zack may be home earlier than 1:30." Tifa explained.
"I hereby promise I will not drink too much in the event that Zack comes home before 1:30. Actually, let me revise that….I hereby promise I will not drink too much tonight." Aerith said.
"I'm holding you to that, sweetie." Tifa said.
"Oh shit…Tifa? What was the one thing we said we would do tonight?" Aerith said.
"Huh? The one thing…" Tifa gasped. "Oh shit! We haven't done any of the laundry and they are bringing home uniforms tonight!" Tifa said turning around and looking at the explosion of laundry behind her.
"Here, don't stop circling on these pages! I'll go get a load in. If we start now it will all be done. How many uniforms does Cloud have?" Aerith asked.
"I have no idea. Why isn't there a laundry room there at Shin-Ra? You and I have heard all these stories about the super nice locker room so why isn't there a laundry facility there?" Tifa wondered.
"I don't know…but that's a good question." Aerith said. It was true that Zack and Cloud always left their uniforms at work and got dressed there. That made it much more convenient leaving things in their lockers and not carrying stuff back and forth. But tonight all their uniforms and anything else washable in their lockers would come home to be cleaned for the next couple weeks. "Okay! There! That load is started; now back to more important things. Hey you know what? We have a lot of Shin-Ra towels. Zack and Cloud have got to stop bringing those home; we're getting too many of them." Aerith said returning to her daiquiri.
"If either of them ever get fired it won't be for poor job performance…it will be for taking too many towels from the locker room showers." Tifa said. Aerith laughed and wrote some more information down from the catalog.
"So how are we doing here? We're tearing up this catalog in a very good way." Aerith said. She looked up at the clock. "It's 5:30 and we have 50 pages left."
"Since we are making good time, I'm going to dog-ear the page I'm on and take a break to look at Shamsky's new take out menu!" Tifa said putting her pen down and picking up the take-out menu. "Ooooh my god, look at this menu. I swear I might get one of everything." Tifa said examining it closely.
"I know! That place has some of the best food ever." Aerith said.
A half-hour later they had completed phase one of their evening. A very large box would be arriving in three to five business days at the bar to avoid it coming to the apartment. Aerith was so excited about her first credit card purchase. They had managed to shred this catalog in fifteen minutes thanks a very well-managed shredding system they had devised.
"Alright, I will call you when the box arrives at the bar. I have to sign for all the deliveries so I'll be sure to get it. But I don't care if you have your little hands full of flowers! You have to drop them all and come to the bar when our order arrives." Tifa said. It was now time to place this order to Shamsky's and make Jello shots. This would be phase two of the evening.
By 10:30 that night Tifa and Aerith had made the stupid choice of putting the scariest movie ever into the DVD player. The phone rang and it scared them both to death. Aerith was closest to it.
"Hello!" she answered it after the initial shock of it ringing.
"Guess what I'm doing right now." Zack asked her.
"Um…unloading stuff…and calling me?" Aerith said.
"No! Listen to this….the Turks….ordered a giant sub…and I have part of it!" Zack said.
"That's…nice." Aerith said. "So hey, what time are you coming home tonight?"
"I'm done at 12:00 so I'll be home at 12:30 or something like that. Of course, I have no clue why they are keeping me here. I haven't done shit. None of 1st Class has done shit. Right now, I'm standing in the control room holding one part of a two way radio and watching Tseng go freaking berserk outside because a chopper is about to slam into the building or something. I mean, he has smoked a pack and a half and he's not even trying to hide it anymore. He's saying every word in the book to everyone around him." Zack said.
"Ooooh what else is happening!" Aerith asked completely absorbed now.
"Well, I'm watching Cissnei ignore Tseng's rage because she is too busy staying on the lap of her new found 1st Class boyfriend. She has no idea that I can see where this guy's hands are right now. Oh! And listen to this…me and two other 1st guys are trying to bounce a bouncy ball down the stair well to the 3rd floor elevator and then send it down the elevator to the 1st floor lobby. If someone doesn't come up here and make us do something…we WILL accomplish this!" Zack said.
"So, Shin-Ra is paying you time and a half to screw around with a bouncy ball?" Aerith asked.
"Pretty much, yeah. But we'll pay for it later….we'll have to do something all intense and stuff some other time. 2nd Class is doing a little more than we are but not much. Don't worry though; 3rd, 4th class and the infantry guards are working their asses off. Yeah, you might want to tell Tifa she is soooo not gonna' get any tonight because Cloud is going to be dead after the hell they are putting the guards through. I just wanted to call you and say hi. I love you and I'll see you soon." Zack said.
"I love you too, bye." Aerith hung up the phone. "Zack says they are trying to kill your boyfriend."
"Hold on, don't unpause that!" Tifa said getting up from the couch. She rummaged around in the kitchen for a plastic bag.
"What the hell are you doing?" Aerith wondered as she watched Tifa fill the bag full of ice.
"Something tells me I need to have an ice pack and a bottle of aspirin ready for when Cloud comes in. It sounds like he may need it." Tifa said.
"You're so good at taking care of us, Tifa! Like that one day when you packed Zack's lunch, and how you helped me bring all those flowers home so I could work on the arrangements for that wedding! You just do it all, Tifa!" Aerith said.
"Believe me Aerith, I do not take care of you and Zack the same way I take care of Cloud." Tifa laughed.