Sorry Derby Week here in Kentucky so it was super busy.

Disclaimer: Castle still belongs to ABC and boy is it going to be a long summer.

Chapter 10

Upstairs in ICU, Jim Beckett met Castle outside Kate's room. "Sir I'm so sorry. Beckett wouldn't let them help her first."

"Castle you know Kate does what Kate wants. She wouldn't have had it any other way." He patted the younger man on the shoulder. "Go on in. She's still sedated but they said she can probably hear you." The young man pushing his wheelchair pushed Castle into the room and pulled him up next to her bed, locked the wheels and then left promising to return in one hour.

Castle waited for the man to close the door before reaching for her hand. Gently he took it, noting how cold she felt. Looking to her face the two large gashes had been stitched up but her face was still swollen and bruised. He stood very slowly and placed a light kiss on her cheek. She stirred just a bit but her eyes remained closed.

"Listen Beckett, I'm so sorry for how I've been acting. I know that if you were awake you'd say I'd been acting like a jackass. And I have. I heard you after the bombing, interrogating the suspect. When I heard you say that you remembered every minute of being shot I freaked out. You lied to me about remembering and I just assumed, yes I know what happens when you assume, but I thought it was just easier than telling me you didn't feel the same way. I'm sorry. You've put up with enough over the years that you deserved better from me. You tried to talk several times and I blew you off. Once you're better we'll have that conversation. Regardless of how you feel about me you deserve better."

Before long the door opened behind him and he turned around expecting to see the guy returning for him. Instead it was a doctor with Jim following. Castle reached down to unlock the wheelchair to wheel himself out. Jim placed his hand on his shoulder, indicating for him to stay.

"Dr. Marshall this is Richard Castle, Kate's partner with the NYPD."

Dr. Marshall held out his hand "I heard that you were riding along with the NYPD but from the looks of things you aren't just riding along."

"Detective Beckett does a good job of keeping me out of trouble usually. I'm afraid this one was my fault."

He nodded and then checked information on the machines hooked up to Beckett's body. Once he finished he and a nurse pulled the covers back and gently rolled Beckett onto her side so they could check her back. There Castle could see a large bandage with blood marking the extent of the wound. The wound went from just below her shoulder blade to just above her tail bone. When they removed the bandage to change it Castle could see the large black stitches that doctors had used to close the gash left by the sheet of metal. Unable to look away Castle's stomach turned thinking about how painful it must have been for Kate to have moved around in the parking garage. After finishing and laying her back the doctor checked on her arm. He removed the bandages covering the place where doctors had surgically pinned the bones back together. Shining a light in her eyes the doctor took the chart back and wrote something else down.

"Well Mr. Beckett. She's still hanging in there. The surgical site on both her back and her arm look good. All her vitals remain strong. Tomorrow afternoon we will do another round of imaging to check the swelling. Once the swelling decreases we will let the sedation wear off and see where we are. Do you have any questions?"

Jim looked to Castle and he didn't want to over step so he simply shook his head. The doctor placed the chart back in the container on the wall patted Jim on the shoulder and then left.

After a few moments of silence Jim spoke. "Rick, this might be bad. You know Katie as well as I do and she's not going to do well with being confined. I need to know now if you're ready for this?"

Castle was struck by Mr. Beckett's directness. He didn't know how much Jim knew about how he'd been acting so he wasn't sure how to answer him. "Sir, I love your daughter, but I'm afraid that she doesn't love me. I'm not sure that I can just be friends. My feelings run too deep."

"Son, why do you think that Katie doesn't feel the same?"

"Well Sir, while she was interrogating a suspect a few weeks ago I heard her say that she heard me say I loved her when she was shot. But she lied to me and told me that she didn't remember anything."

Jim walked over to Kate and took her hand. "Castle after the shooting she locked herself away in my cabin and wouldn't let anyone come visit. I was the only one she allowed to see her. Castle she was so broken and in so much pain. Mentally she was scared to death that they were still coming to get her. Despite the fact that she couldn't life her left arm she slept with a gun under her pillow. Slowly she told me about what she remembered, including what you said. She wasn't sure if she was whole enough to love you back. But Rick don't doubt her feelings. Katie's never been this serious about anyone. But son her life has been turned upside down again and this time she is going to need you. Are you ready?"

"Sir don't let her push me away and I'll be there. Always."

The sound of the door broke the two men's moment of bonding. It was the young man to transport Castle back to his room. Standing again he kissed Beckett on the forehead and whispered something in her ear. Sitting back in his wheelchair the young man pushed him from the room.