Holding On

JacobxBella

Rated M

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the franchise, as it belongs to Steph Meyers

Holding On

Chapter 10

Time had passed and Bella and Jacob had been spending time together more times than not. There probably wasn't a day in the week that went by that they weren't together for a few hours of the day. And if Bella was honest with herself, she had never felt so alive than when she was with Jacob. He had so much life in him and it filled her with what she had been lacking in the past three years. He made her forget about her troubles, her worries, her cancer. Jacob was amazing to Bella; he was special; he was…everything. And in the midst of her realizing this, she also realized something else that caught her completely by surprise: she liked Jacob. She really, genuinely liked Jacob as more than a friend. Upon realizing this she was scared to do anything about it because he was younger than her and even though she was getting treatment, her stomach cancer could cause her to become deathly ill. But after a chat with both Angela and her mother (the latter being the most embarrassing), she decided to just deal with it head on. And with the holidays right around the corner, Bella believed this to be the perfect opportunity to let Jacob know how she felt.

Bella stood in the store looking at the different iron skillets she could get for the house, humming along to the Christmas music playing over the store. She needed a new skillet because Charlie had somehow ruined the one that she had in the kitchen. She wasn't sure how and didn't care to know, she just decided to buy a new one. Right when she was about to take one off of the shelf to inspect, a voice she currently loathed reached her ear.

"Hello Bella," Edward greeted as he sidled up next to her. "Fancy seeing you in here."

"Edward," Bella said, blatantly refusing to look at the boy.

Edward reached a hand out and touched the brunette's short hair before saying, "You know I always preferred you with longer hair. It made you look so much more becoming."

Bella paused before saying, "So you're saying I'm only pretty with long hair. Gee, thanks."

"That's not what I meant, Bella."

"I don't really care what you meant. In fact I really don't care to hear anything that you need to say."

"Bella, can't we talk about us?"

"There is no us."

"But I miss you."

"Yeah, I'm sure you did every time you fucked Tanya behind my back when we were dating."

"Bella- "

"But it's fine, I've moved on. And he's so much more of a gentleman than you'll ever be."

Edward bristled for a moment before asking, "You mean that Quileute boy that you rode on the motorcycle with? Everyone has been talking about it and it's rumored that you are dating him."

Bella shrugged and replied, "It's really none of your business, Edward."

"It is if you are doing anything reckless, and this boy just seems as if he is nothing but trouble. He's no good for you Bella, unlike me."

Feeling anger bubble up inside of her Bella turned to face the copper haired boy with a steely glare and said, "You don't know anything about Jacob. You have no right to say anything about him. And how I spend my time with him is my business and my business alone. Now you can step off and leave me the hell alone. I'm trying to finish shopping for Christmas and you being in my breathing space are a hindrance and an annoyance."

"Bella, now I'm trying to be civil."

"And I will be less than civil in the next ten seconds if you don't get away from me."

"And what exactly are you threatening to do if I don't?"

Bella's lips turned into an almost sinister smile, surprising Edward while also making him feel uncomfortable. Before he could do or say anything Bella grabbed one of the iron skillets from the shelf by its handle and swung it at the boy's head. Edward threw his hand up to prevent it from hitting his face, but the pain that shot through his hand and fingers caused him to let out a pained yell. Clutching his hand he backed away from the brunette and yelled, "What is wrong with you?!"

The hard stare he got in response with a promise of another swing was answer enough for Edward Cullen. He hissed once more before turning and hurrying away from Bella and out of the store. Bella smiled and looked down at the skillet in her hand before nodding and heading to checkout.

The Christmas Eve party that Renee had thrown was in full swing and everyone was enjoying themselves. Well, everyone that is except for Bella. Bella was currently locked in the bathroom throwing up, trying to keep her retching down so no one could hear it. Though if she thought about it, with how loud Jingle Bell Rock was playing downstairs, she doubted anyone would be able to hear it.

Wiping her mouth she flushed the toilet and stood up from the floor, gripping the sink tightly as she stood. She brushed her teeth to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth before looking at herself in the mirror. The circles under her eyes were darker and she was looking thinner than she did before. It probably wasn't noticeable to others, but she could tell that she lost weight in her face. Her arms were trembling as she leant against the sink for support.

Bella had no idea if she was getting better. The new rounds of chemotherapy were making her very sick, but she supposed that was part of the process of healing. She was doing her best to keep her head up, but with her body responding to the treatment the way it was she could only hope that it was working through all that she was experiencing. Even the last type of treatment she had wasn't this bad.

A knock on the bathroom door got her attention and she called out, "Who is it?"

"It's me, Bells," Jacob's voice responded through the door.

Bella smoothed her short hair a bit and brushed it back behind her ears before opening the door. She looked up at Jacob who was waiting for her, returning the smile he gave her. However her smile turned out rather tired and when she went to take a step out of bathroom, she felt lightheaded and lost her balance, falling right into Jacob's arms.

Alarmed Jacob said, "Bella!"

The brunette gripped her friend's strong arms and said, "I'm alright, Jake. Don't worry about me."

"Impossible not to anyway," Jacob replied, a teasing hint to his voice, though his face had a worried expression on it. He helped Bella stand upright and once she was steady he suggested, "How about we go back downstairs and join the rest of the party."

"Okay, but can we wait for a moment? I want to do something first."

"Sure Bells, what is it?"

Bella beckoned Jacob to follow her and they walked to her bedroom. Jacob watched as Bella opened a drawer at her desk and rummaged around in it for a moment before pulling her hand out. In her hand she held a small flat box, a box used to hold jewelry, at best a necklace, with a bright green bow stuck on top of it. She smiled and held it out to him saying, "Merry Christmas, Jake."

Jacob stared at the box in Bella's hands for a moment before saying, "Gosh Bells, I don't know what to say."

"Start with 'thank you'", Bella replied playfully, laughing softly when Jacob playfully nudged her chin with his fist. Looking up at him she said, "You don't need to get me anything in return. It's not much but I hope you like it."

The brunette placed the box in Jacob's hand and waited for him to open it. Jacob looked at his friend for a moment before slowly lifting the lid on the box. His eyes widened as he saw a necklace inside, more specifically a gold locket. It wasn't one of those heart shaped ones, just a simple ovular shape, but it wasn't the locket itself that made him stare. No, it was the words on the locket. In fancy writing the locket said My Jake.

Slowly lifting the locket out of the jewelry box Jacob opened the locket and peered at its contents. On the right was a small picture of the two of them together. It was a picture he had taken of them on his phone when they had been hanging out on First Beach sitting on the old log that was always there; Jacob had his arm wrapped around Bella and was holding her to him in a hug, her head tucked beneath his chin. They were both smiling at the camera and both of their eyes were shining brightly. Bella had asked him to send the picture to her and he had done so. On the left side of the locket was an inscription that read My best friend and more.

Jacob continued to stare at the locket in awe, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. Was Bella trying to let him know something, or was he over thinking it? He liked Bella a lot but he didn't want to get his hopes up if this was just platonic.

Bella cleared her throat and fidgeted with her sweater sleeve nervously before saying, "I'm not really good with words when it comes to discussing my feelings. I thought maybe this would be a good way with getting them across."

"Bella," Jacob began slowly. "Do you…like me?"

"Well yes, but I also like you. Like you-like you, I mean, and a lot."

Jacob couldn't believe his ears, but he also couldn't stop the huge grin that spread across his face. Turning his gaze to the brunette he stepped over to her and reached out, gently taking her face in his hands. He could feel how thin her face was in his hands, knowing it was her being sick from treatment for her cancer that was causing her to lose what weight she had, but she was just as beautiful to him as ever. Without hesitation he leant down and gently pressed his lips against Bella's in a soft kiss. Bella gasped softly into the kiss, but closed her eyes and kissed Jacob back just as softly with passion behind it. Her hands clutched the front of his shirt and she couldn't help but step closer to him.

The two of them stood kissing for what seemed like forever until they had to part for air. They looked at each other with flushed faces, Bella more so that Jacob, and they both let out small bits of soft laughter. Jacob cleared his throat before saying, "Let me take you out on a proper date later after Christmas. It can be our first official one being a couple. If you want to be my girlfriend, I mean."

Bella giggled and nodded before hugging Jacob close to her, feeling his strong arms wrap around her in return. She felt so happy at that moment and the world seemed to melt away around them, despite the blasting Christmas music from the party downstairs. But even though she felt happy, she needed to speak to Jacob about her fears.

Pulling away she looked up at Jacob and said, "Jake, I want to talk to you about us being a couple and me having stomach cancer."

Jacob placed a finger over her lips and said, "I know what you want to talk about Bells. You have fears and reservations about dating me because you believe your cancer will win out and you'll die. However, I'm not worried. I know you'll beat this and be healthy again."

"I just don't want to hurt you if everything ends that way."

"It would have only hurt if you never knew how I feel about you. Don't think so much about it, Bells. Let's just take everything one step at a time."

Bella's chocolate eyes looked into Jacob's brown ones for a moment before she smiled softly and nodded. She would take everything one step at a time with Jacob as a couple. He was already filling her life with so much joy; she couldn't imagine that being in a relationship with him would be any less joyful.

Jacob placed the locket around his neck before taking Bella's hand and holding it tightly. He bent over and kissed her cheek before smiling and saying, "Just so you know, you have a present at my house waiting for you. If I had known you were going to give me my present early, I would've brought it with me."

The two of them giggled as they left Bella's bedroom, heading back down the stairs to join the rest of the party. And for the rest of the night they stayed together, lost in their own little world together while Renee, Charlie, and Billy looked on with smiles on their faces.