Tuesday March 2 2021 3:15am

I want my family back. Not this stupid, ridiculous excuse for one, the real deal. The one I had when I was a little girl, before Mom decided work was more important, before Dad started calling her in on it, before Mike was a prick, before Jack became popular, before Riley got his scholarship, before Zack become a champion. Back when I mattered.

You know what, I don't even care anymore. I don't need a family, I've been living without one for long enough. Dad can drink his way through the rest of his life. Mom can work herself ragged until she calls the break room couch home. I can't wait for all my brothers to move out for college. I just want to get out.

X X X X X

Evie ran downstairs at the sound of glass shattering. She rounded the corner, stopping just in time to see her mother slamming the front door. Her body was shaking, sobs escaping her as she leaned into the glass door. Evie could see blood on her hands, not much, the amount you got when you cut your hand on a can opener or something.

In this case, she imagined it was the broken glass on the kitchen floor, which she moved over to clean up. Evie bent down, hearing but choosing to ignore the quiet sobs of her mother, gathering up the pieces of glass carefully. She heard the crying move, from the front door to the couch, the broken spring squeaking as Kate's tiny frame plonked on the couch.

After disposing of the shards, Evie poured a glass of water and took it to the living room, leaving it on the coffee table for Kate, before she started to walk away.

"Evie?"

The young girl stopped, turning back to her mother, who was gazing after her helplessly.

"Thank you," she whispered, her arms curling tighter around her knees before she looked away.

Kate couldn't bear to look her only daughter in the eye; she had caused so much hurt in the last few years, never being there when she said she would or not returning phone calls to Rick when she should have done. All in all, it should be her who was kicked out of the apartment that night, but Rick had decided it was his turn to leave. See how she liked it…

"I'm not doing anything special," Evie replied, "I just don't want to hurt myself on a mess you made."

Her tone was blank and curt, Kate's shoulders shuddering. She didn't turn around, and nor did Evie as she strode back to her bedroom. She was stopped at the bottom of the stairs by her mother's voice again, still facing away from her.

"Evie? I, uh…I never meant for this to happen," Kate murmured, as Evie turned on her heel, marching back to the living room angrily.

"Oh really?" she shouted, "You didn't mean for this family to be ripped apart? You didn't mean to make Dad hate you? You didn't mean to –"

Evie stopped. The pain in her mother's eyes was almost too much to bear. She heard footsteps at the top of the stairs, turning to find her brothers moving down sleepily.

"Evie, what's going on?" Mike asked, "Why are you shouting this early in the morning?"

"Where's Dad?" Jack asked, looking around, Riley beside him yawning equally as large. Zack was beside Evie now, looking at their mother solemnly.

"Mom, what's going on?" Riley asked, as Kate moved to stand, facing her five children, her tears all but dissipated as she tapped in to her police training.

"Kids, it's late, go back to bed, we'll talk in the morning –"

"No, we'll talk now," Mike demanded, taking charge as he usually did, "In case you haven't noticed, Mom, we've been walking on egg shells around you two."

"And I'm sorry, but –"

"But why, Mom?" Jack cut in, "Why have you guys been fighting?"

"Yeah, you've never fought before," Riley agreed, "Why the change?"

"It's because Mom cares more about her work than us," Zack said.

"No, no that's not true at all," Kate interjected, "You know how much I love you all –"

"Then why are we falling apart?" Evie demanded, angry tears streaming down her cheeks, "Why are you letting this family fall to pieces?"

"Evie, please –"

"Tell us why, Mom," Evie demanded, "Why can't you be around more often?"

Kate fell silent, unable to combat the sincerity and emotion in her children's eyes. They were staring at her, waiting for an answer, but she couldn't find one, couldn't if she tried.

"Well, that settles it," Mike murmured, and without issuing any sort of instruction, his siblings followed him gallantly up the stairs, leaving Kate standing alone in her huge living room. Slowly, she made her way back to her bedroom, shutting the door and crawling into the emptiness that was her bed.

X X X X X

Mike told us to pack our things. Jack called Dad while Riley dialed for a cab. Zack and I were in charge of the bathroom things. It all moved quickly; one minute I was yelling at Mom in the living room, the next, I was running headlong into my father's arms. I had never been more grateful to see him in my entire life, and I had the feeling it was mutual. His face lit up, even though we did wake him at three in the morning, the minute he saw the five of us.

I just hope this isn't permanent.

X X X X X

"Dad, why did you leave?" Mike asked. It was just him and his father, sitting on the balcony of the hotel room he'd rented for the next week.

Rick sighed, staring out over the city, his hand twirling the glass of scotch on the table.

"Because she needs to know what it feels like to be alone," Rick explained, "she needs to know there are things more important than her job."

"I don't think she knows how, Dad," Mike said, "I don't think she can live without her work."

"She can," Rick demanded, "She's done it before."

"Really?"

"Yeah, back when you were young," Rick mused, "You probably wouldn't remember, but she took three months off after an injury in the field. She told me she was considering not going back."

Mike looked at his father for a moment, confused, "Why did she go back?"

"She said she had to," Rick sighed, shaking his head, "but what she really needs now is to be with her family."

X X X X X

Mike and Dad are downstairs. I want to go down to Dad; curl up in a ball in his arms and cry like I did when I broke my arm when I was six. Or the time when I got lost in a mall and I spent an hour crying under a clothes rack and when he found me he refused to let me go for the rest of the day. To be quite honest, I never wanted to let him go either. And the funny thing is, I thought I'd never feel more vulnerable than I did that day. Today, I did.

X X X X X

Sorry for the very little diary entries, but I felt this chapter we really needed to see what was happening in real life rather than just from Evie's perspective. The importance of her siblings is pretty high right now. I may have to alter it so it's all real-time and the inserts are diary entries, but I want to hear what you guys prefer – diary entries or play by play?

Oh, and review!

Kayla x