Jim fought waking. He was sure he had a great reason to get up, and he was beginning to feel an ache in his neck from sleeping on the couch, but he ignored both, snuggling into the couch further. Darkness almost enveloped him once more, then-
"Just leave it... course it didn't."
A voice was threatening to pull him from his sleep. The sporadic parts of the whispered conversation he could make out were becoming louder. Sighing, he rolled over onto his back. From his couch, he could see the doorway.
Where Pam was standing. Whispering through a gap in the open door.
Jim was wide wake by the time he heard Roy's voice burst through the gap.
"Well, what am I meant to think, Pam? You turn down my engagement, and then I find you've slept with Jim?!" Jim's eyes opened even wider. So Roy had proposed.
"Roy, I didn't sleep with him! I just came here to talk, and I fell asleep, okay? He is my friend, that's all, I would never do that." Jim lowered his eyes from the door. Friends. Realising he was eavesdropping on Roy and Pam's private conversation, he silently got up, and decided to have a shower. He was still in his work clothes from Friday. Maybe the sound of the water would drown out the scene in the lounge. He caught one last piece of the conversation before he left.
"Yes, I'll come home."
His face was expressionless as he closed the bathroom door behind himself. He quickly undressed, and turned the taps on as fast and as hot as he could bear. The heat washed over him. That was all he was, to Pam, he guessed: a friend. But what about the way she leant into his chest last night? And why had she said no to Roy? And what about the look she had given him when she showed up at his house? But from her lips it came, like it had on that rooftop six months ago. "We're friends, right?" she had said. Didn't she see what kinds of torture she was putting him through?
She mustn't. Well, Jim knew ignoring her wouldn't work, so he was just going to have to be what she wanted; a friend. How he would manage that, he wasn't sure; but, whatever it took, he would. Pam deserved so much more, but the least he could give her was his friendship.
The water cut off abruptly as he twisted the taps with unnecessary force. He felt cold. His face was neutral as he got dressed. He heard a knock on his door. He gave a quick thought to Roy, wondering if he was about to get knocked on his ass. He didn't particularly care. "Come in," he said quietly.
Pam walked through the door, still in the stunning dress she fell asleep in. Although some of its effect was lost from the creases, it still looked great. She, on the other hand, looked horrible; her eyes were red, and she had lines all over her white arms from the way she had fallen asleep. Jim tried to think he was only good enough for beautiful women, He told himself she wasn't that pretty, even when their eyes met, and he felt she could tell exactly what he was thinking. His gaze dropped, and he looked to the floor. Not that great, he repeated hollowly to himself.
"Jim, I am so sorry. When I wasn't home, and not with my family... He knows you're my only close friend, and he jumped to conclusions. I heard him pull up, and I didn't want to wake you. I am really sorry."
"Look, its fine, really. Friends are here to help you out. We all have problems with our relationships." Jim fought to keep his expression under control.
"Are you... Do you think it is just that?"
Jim brought his eyes up to meet Pam's. She wanted his blessing. What was he supposed to say? Should he tell her that Roy was wrong for her? I mean, Jim was sure the guy loved her, in his own way, and from what he heard last night, Pam did too. Who was he to interfere in their love? After all, he was just a friend. They were in love. He could hear himself rationalising, but he didn't care. He made his voice steady as he answered.
"I am sure it is."
Pam nodded. "Well, I am going to go home now. Thanks for everything, and sorry for bringing all of this into your house." She smiled weakly.
"No problem, Beesly," Jim said. "Next time, though, ring ahead, okay?"
Pam's smile faltered, and then left her face. "There won't be a next time."
And then she was gone. Jim didn't know whether to feel relieved, or disappointed. He settled on empty.
Pam was aware of Roy fuming next to her – he always sped when he was annoyed – but she couldn't force herself to talk to him. Once they got home, she had told him. Right now she had to think.
Jim had been so great last night. Just letting her talk, and talk, and let it all out. And she had woken up again, needing to go to the toilet, in the early morning, walking past Jim on the couch, mumbling in his sleep. She caught her name a couple of times, before she realised she was watching him sleep with a smile on her face, and had hurried back to Jim's bed.
And in the morning, she had been woken by Roy's car pulling into the drive (she would know the roar of that engine anywhere) and she hadn't known what to do. And the way he put it, she felt like she had acted like an absolute bitch last night, and it was all Roy could do to assume she was sleeping with Jim. And so, she had agreed to go home with him, to talk.
And then she had turned around, and he wasn't on the couch any more. She had wanted some confirmation that she had done the right thing last night, that she wasn't who Roy said she was. She had seen it in Jim's eyes, when she had been sitting on the couch, letting all of it out, everything she had bottled up for the duration of her relationship with Roy. But the combined effect of the cruisers, and his knee touching her thigh, had lulled her into a sleep before she could tell him everything, that he had come into her head at the restaurant... And what had he said in his bedroom? That's what friends were for.
The car pulled up at their house. Roy killed the engine, and burst out of the car, leaving Pam in the silence of the car, alone. She sighed. Jim had said he was sure it was just normal relationship issues. She made herself get out of the car. She would sort this out.
Roy was waiting for her inside the house.
"Pammy, are you leaving me?" Roy was no longer livid. He looked a little forlorn, in their little lounge room. Pam considered the question, but she already knew what she was going to say, had known since Jim had said those words in his bedroom. Roy was starting to look desperate. "Pammy, you don't know what it would do to me if you left me. I need you, baby, I can't live without you. You can't leave me. I will do anything that you want me to do. Tell me what to do, baby."
"Roy, I love you." His face lit up. "But, I need some time out of this house. I am sorry if I have hurt you, I really am, and I'm not breaking up with you, I just need to take a step back, okay?" His shoulders hunched over again.
"Where are you going to stay?" he murmured to the carpet.
"I don't know. With my mum, I guess."
"And you're going to drive three hours into work every morning?" Roy started incredulously.
"I don't know, all right?" A thought popped into her head. "But wherever I stay, you have to accept it. If we are going to make this work, Roy, you have to let me make my choices."
Roy was quiet. "Okay," he said finally. "Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?" He looked so hopeless, Pam leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"I hope you can figure it out, Roy." At his exasperated expression, her pity lessened, and she left to have a shower and get dressed. He said nothing else but a few more words to her as she filled her suitcase, grabbed a few other things, and rang a taxi. Roy offered to drive her, but she knew it was too early for him. For now, she would have to keep it a secret from him, however it looked.
Jim had been sitting on his bed for the past half an hour, telling himself he was thinking, but really just absorbing Pam's smell from the sheets. He knew it; it was the smell of her moisturiser, a mixture of lanolin and cinnamon, of her shampoo, and the indefinable other scents that made Pam. He missed her already. He couldn't believe she was in his house, sleeping on his bed, only a couple of hours ago. He stared at his sheets, willing her to appear. Why had he wasted time sleeping, dreaming of her, when she was upstairs?
Suddenly frustrated with himself, he stood up quickly, and began tearing the sheets from his bed. He couldn't be like this, he knew. This was not healthy. They were just friends. Well, he would show her how casual their friendship was on Monday. He stomped down the stairs, and threw the sheets into the laundry. In fact, he wouldn't even talk to her, just give her a casual wave, and ignore her.
Feeling suddenly down on seeing her cup on the coffee table, he decided he need to get out of the house. Maybe see a movie. He would even ditch his usual preference for crappy romantic comedies. He wanted something inane, purely and excessively violent. He wanted to sit in the cinema and silently jeer whoever actually enjoyed the crap they were charging for.
Halfway there, he remembered he had left his door unlocked. He cursed himself for a second, looking for a place to turn, and then changed his mind. What did he have to steal anyway?
The movie was not as enjoyable as he had hoped it would be. His mood faded quickly, and only a couple of rows behind his seat there was a couple noisily making out. He wanted to yell at them, and he turned around; but, they had stopped, and were just leaning on each other. They looked so at peace. He wondered if the guy was Roy, or himself. He decided, since he actually had the girl, it was Roy. It fitted his mood.
He ended up leaving halfway through the picture, not knowing what to think. He couldn't decide if he was angry, indifferent, hurt or moving on. He stopped by the liquor store on the way home. It wasn't like him to drink two nights in a row, but he had a feeling he wasn't going to get to sleep tonight without a little help.
When he finally got home, he got out his keys to unlock the door, but stopped when he remembered it was already unlocked. He made to turn the handle, and then paused. There was someone in his apartment. He had been robbed, someone was in his house, stealing his meagre possessions. Well, this was one thing he could do something about. Finally, he had someone he could direct his anger at. He didn't think about the consequences. He just burst through the door.
There was a suitcase on the couch. Pam was sitting next to it. Jim came to an abrupt halt. She looked up at him, guiltily.
"J-Jim! I'm sorry if I surprised you. Can I... I mean, would it be all right if I stayed here for a little while?" she mumbled.
A/N: Lalalaa! About to get into the actual story, I feel like this has just been the introduction! And the season finale? Oh. My. God. Finally, a little sustenance for Jammers. Though how we'll last until September, I don't know.
Goodnight, and good luck! ;)