11
So Draco and I had sex several times that night. It was difficult leaving him the next morning to go home, but I had to. Mum was probably going mental.
We kept on having sex for a few weeks, and nothing more really happened. We didn't really snuggle or say sweet things to each other. My life was rather stressful with both school and work, so we mostly slept over in each other's dormitories, and that meant we only had sex and slept, and never got to talk basically.
We eventually had a short talk about being friends with benefits; we liked having sex with each other so... Maybe it was all I needed.
Then a few weekends later, us girls went out. I hoped to see the boys and Draco but they didn't show up. A bunch of blokes came on to me that night, it was obvious they were interested but I rejected them all casually.
I went home early from the pub to sleep with Draco that night.
The next night, as Daphne and I were doing our makeup, preparing to go out again, she brought me down to earth.
"So, you're only friends with benefits. You haven't talked about anything?" she asked
"Not really no," I replied, sipping my glass of wine.
"And you don't find that odd?" she asked, eyebrows raised at me in the mirror. I was curling my hair.
"No, we're taking it slow I suppose." I shrugged.
"You're so naive sometimes, Pansy."
I frowned, I didn't believe her. "Why?"
"What's so special about that dick?" she asked. "There's plenty of fish in the sea!"
"I don't want a fish. And it's not his dick."
Daphne rolled her eyes. "Then why are you shagging him and rejecting other blokes because of it?"
I bet she'd seen me be cool to those blokes last night, bugger I thought.
"You're not together Pansy," she went on boldly. "If he wanted you like that he would've said it. Don't be like all those girls he uses. Don't be so dumb."
I swallowed and didn't reply. I felt like crying although I didn't know why. I wasn't like those girls he only wanted to shag – what about how he had held me in front of his parents at dinner, what about everything we'd been through – I wasn't just another girl to him, was I? Then why couldn't he commit? I hated Daphne sometimes for being so honest.
The next night, me Draco, Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle hung out in Draco's cellar room in the manor, with a few beers. I wondered all night if I was just his 'mate', one of the boys, and someone he shagged. Then he played with my hair and I laid my head down in his lap while he violently played FIFA. After that match, Theo and Blaise were playing so Draco had his hands free. He placed his beer can on my head and told me I was a brilliant beer stand. The boys all laughed. I didn't know what to think. Either he was being affectionate in his own way or just a wanker like most of the time. Then he took a sip of his beer, and intertwined his other hand with mine and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it, as he watched the screen. I was so surprised and looked up at him but his face didn't tell anything. I didn't think he knew what he was doing.
If he loved me, then why had nothing happened?
After that I didn't see him for a couple of weeks, until we returned to Hogwarts. He Owled a lot but I didn't answer. I needed to think. And I needed to be clever.