I ain't even have to say nothing. You know what it is. ;D
7/5/12
Script ep: 10
Warriors Parody
Into The Wild
(After intro)
Scene 1
Narrator: That awkward moment when we're about to be raped by dead cats…sounds like Spottedleaf's kinky daydreams.
Bluestar: That awkward moment when everyone wants you to kill yourself and you still haven't done it.
Narrator: That awkward St. Patty's day party last year.
Bluestar: Ho, shit, say nothing you hear!
Narrator: Tell that to my dick while you're sucking on it will ya?
Firepaw: That's quite a mouthful! *nudge nudge wink wink*
Narrator: *Pushes into the Starclan cats* Go get fucked.
Firepaw: No! *Is being carried away by the Starclan cats.*
Bluestar: Sacrificing the virgin! Nice, Narrator!
Narrator: You're still a filthy whore.
Bluestar: You are what you eat out.
Narrator: Now that they're gone can you wake up so we can get out of this hellhole?
Bluestar: Fuck me first?
Narrator: Clothes=Off *Clothes just kind of fly away*
Bluestar: Ohbby.
*They fuck the shit out of each other to the pleasant music of Firepaw's asshole being torn apart.*
End Scene 1
Scene 2
*Bluestar and Narrator wake up besides the "moon rock" while Firepaw still slumbers.*
Bluestar: That was….fun. *Licks down her sex fur.
Narrator: Eh. Should we wake him up?
Bluestar: Nah let him suffer.
Graypaw: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE BACK! *Screaming like a bitch*
Firepaw: …Uh..wha-OH GOD DON'T STICK THAT THER-Oh…thanks for helping me out there. Fucktards.
Bluestar: You're sweet. Let's get the fuck out of here this was pointless Starclan wasn't helpful at all.
*They leave the cave*
Tigerclaw: The hell have you guys been? I feel like I've been waiting eight months.
Bluestar: Exactly how long it took to get your mom knocked up.
Tigerclaw: You have a sloppy vagina.
Bluestar: And your penis is small, however this besides the point. My clan is in trouble. Let's go. *Walks away*
Firepaw: My ass hurts…what was I dreaming about?
Graypaw: Last night?
Firepaw: No I don't think so…
Graypaw: Oh…
Firepaw: What?
Graypaw: Dreaming about someone else fucking you huh?
Firepaw: Graypaw it's not like tha-
Graypaw: No. No. Don't even say anything. Just…*walks away*
Firepaw: Graypaw…I love you.
Graypaw: *Keeps walking*
Tigerclaw: FAG. *Slaps him across the face* Gay ass prick. Get in line, slut.
Firepaw: *Sniff* M'kay.
End Scene 2
Scene 3
Bluestar: *Humming* Dat shit cray….ain't it Jay?
Graypaw: Shut the fuck up kittypet.
Bluestar: What'd you just call me?
Graypaw: A slut? You are one aren't you?
Bluestar: Well you don't have to gloat…
Graypaw: I have nothing to gloat about. Tiny penis.
Bluestar: Tried pills?
Graypaw: Yeah they didn't work.
Bluestar: Really? I heard from ole big dick back there-
Tigerclaw: You know it.
Narrator: She was referring to me.
Tigerclaw: You wish fag.
Narrator: Bitch, please.
Bluestar: Anyway, I heard the pills that the porn sites advertise actually work.
Graypaw: I haven't tried them yet.
Bluestar: I haven't tried you yet either.
Graypaw: What did you have in mind?
Bluestar: No limits.
Graypaw: Oh shit…hey you actually acknowledged my existence.
Bluestar: Don't I always, Lionheart?
Graypaw: …Cunt.
Narrator: Everyone gasps and Bluestar starts hitting Graypaw repeatedly.
Bluestar: Don't (smack) you (smack) ever (smack) say (smack) that (smack) again (smack) Lionheart. (smack)
Graypaw: *Is bruised and broken.*
Tigerclaw: Hey fuckers, we have a little problem here.
Bluestar: Yes, your small dick is an issue. We will fix that too don't worry.
Tigerclaw: No, you dumbass fucking bitch. Look.
Narrator: In front of them stood a large group of rats.
Rats: Yo wha up bih ass sluts. Da fuk yu tink ya doin here?
Fireclan: Oh shit.
End Scene 3
Scene 4
Firepaw: Scene 4 already? Wow this is a short one.
Bluestar: GOD DAMMIT DO ALL OF YOU HAVE PENIS PROBLEMS?
Firepaw: Yep.
Graypaw: Yep.
Tigerclaw: Yep.
Narrator: Nope. Swagger to the max.
Bluestar: You like big dick in your mouth.
Narrator: You like it surrounding you from all sides.
Bluestar: And don't you forget it bitch (;
Rat Leader: Yo, ho! Get da fuck ow here!
Bluestar: Why should we?
Rat Leader: Cause dis shit our turf.
Bluestar: And I'm a flying purple vagina. You can't own something you can't defend. Bitch.
Rat Leader: Bih, I cut yu.
Firepaw: You sound like a fucking idiot.
Rat Leader: I'm gun take yu an imam rip yo fuking cock off you damn dirty mah fuckin- *Is cut off because Bluestar bites into him and then swallows him whole.*
Narrator: All the other hoodlum cats go running off in terror.
Graypaw: Holy shit how did she eat him whole. He was huge.
Bluestar: I got a deep throat hun. *winks*
Graypaw: ~Instaboner~
Bluestar: Onward! To the next episode!
Firepaw: 8 more months people! See you then!
End Scene 4
Scene 5
Writer: IT DOESN'T SAY ANYWHERE THAT YOU ARE LIMITED TO ONLY 4 SCENES AN EPISODE, BLUESTAR!
Bluestar: I SIGNED UP FOR FOUR SCENES. NO MORE. NO LESS!
Writer: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE PREGNANT YOU WHORE. YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHIT SO YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE IT LIKE A BITCH!
Bluestar: YOUR MOM TOOK IT LIKE A BITCH LAST NIGHT!
Writer: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!
Bluestar: *Flicks off and leaves*
Firepaw: What'd he say?
Bluestar: He said he has a tiny pecker. Looks like we have to do another scene guys.
Graypaw: Scene…I like scene hair.
Bluestar: The only scene I like is the one where everyone pretended you didn't exist. We should get back to that.
Graypaw: So you were pretending!
Bluestar: Did you hear something, Tigerclaw?
Tigerclaw: Just the sweet sound of a nagging bitch asking me stupid questions.
Graypaw: Assholes.
Barley: Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, what up boooois? *Walks out from the bushes*
Bluestar: Barley! *Tacklehugs him* Baby, I've missed you!
Tigerclaw: Bluestar…showing love to someone?
Firepaw: BRAIN…CANNOT…COMPUTE.
Bluestar: Barley! How have you been?
Barley: Baby, I've been fiiine. Why haven't you visited me in so long?
Bluestar: Well you haven't called me babe.
Firepaw: Woah, woah. Bluestar, it's against the warrior code to have relations with a cat outside your own clan.
Bluestar: What?
Firepaw: You can't fuck anyone unless they're in your clan.
Bluestar: Who said I'm fucking Barley? Barley's gay you dingus!
Firepaw: Oh. *derp*
Barley: Hey babes!
Tigerclaw: Hey, Barley.
Firepaw: Hey, Barley.
Graypaw: Hey, Barley.
Ravenpaw: Hey, Barley.
Narrator: Everyone turns to stare at Ravenpaw.
Bluestar: Ravenpaw? What are you doing here?
Ravenpaw: I've been here the whole time!
Bluestar: Lies! Filthy disgusting lies!
Ravenpaw: I hate you.
Barley: *Walks over to Ravenpaw.* Hey, Ravenpaw. It's very nice to meet you. *winks*
Ravenpaw: Uh, thanks?
Barley: You like clan life Ravenpaw?
Ravenpaw: Uh…it's okay.
Barley: Just "okay"?
Ravenpaw: Well, yeah…I don't like it that much.
Barley: You should come live with me kiddo!
Ravenpaw: Uh, what? I don't thi-
Barley: Baby, I'm just kidding with you. Come on I'll show you around the farm though. We'll take a nice look around and see how you like it.
Ravenpaw: What? No. I don't want to go with y-
Barley: *Grabs his chin stopping his words* Shut your whore mouth, you little bitch. You're mine now.
Ravenpaw: *Whimpers*
Barley: Come on. *Grabs him by the top of his head and drags him forward.* Nice meeting you all! Love you Bluey!
Bluestar: Love you too babes!
Graypaw: He seemed like a nice guy.
Firepaw: Yeah…who was that cat he dragged away with him?
Graypaw: My dick.
Firepaw: …Mkay.
End Scene 5
End Episode 10