Martin was in the kitchen decking himself in rubber clothes, even though rain wasn't expected for at least the next week. Though, given their experience with delivering newspapers, he and his friends knew it only took seven words to change the weather.
"I'm starving," Martin said. He sat down at the kitchen table in front of half a grapefruit. He laid out a calculator and several mathematical tools before setting out on a series of complex calculations. Finally, he took out a spoon and dug it into the fruit. It squirted him in the face. Chris stepped through the front door.
"I smell breakfast," He said. The screen door closed behind him and Nick tore through it.
"I smell friends," He said. Martin tugged off his goggles in shock.
"Nick! The screen door!" He said.
"Let's watch it," Nick said dumbly. Martin retrieved his glasses from the table and slid them on his face.
"Do you realize you've opened a door for all winged insects to invade my home?!" Martin cried. Chris and Nick stood, and Chris looked bored.
"You just had to get him started, didn't you, Nick?" Chris deadpanned. Martin scrambled to get the wooden door closed.
"Their annoying buzzing and their insatiable urge to bite is enough to make your skin crawl!" He said. Suddenly, there was a loud buzzing noise. Realizing he was too late in shutting the second door, Martin fell back to Plan B.
"Do you hear it?" Martin asked. He started searching through a kitchen drawer. It took him two seconds to produce a flyswatter.
"Okay, we're safe. Everyone stay calm; I've got it under control," Martin said.
"It's on Nick!" Chris said. Nick froze with fear.
"Get it off, Chris!" Nick yelled, "Get it off!"
"Hold on, I got this!" Chris said, swatting at him. His cat-like reflexes took over. Martin followed him with the flyswatter, Nick followed with a newspaper.
"Gahh, this guy's quick!" Chris said, having missed and slapped Martin on the back. The hit sent the flyswatter out of Martin's hands and into Chris's. Chris tried to hit the fly using the flyswatter, "I got it! I got it!"
He didn't bring the flyswatter down before Nick whack-a-moled his head into his shirt with the newspaper.
"I see it! I got it!" Chris repeated when suddenly there was a gulp and Chris's throat hurt.
"What?" Nick approached Chris, "I can't hear you, Chris."
"I- ow," Chris's voice was hoarse. Nick gasped.
"My ears are broken!" Nick cried.
"You're ears aren't broken, Nick," Martin said, "It seems the insect has lodged itself in Chris's throat."
"Does that mean he can't talk?" Nick tugged Chris's tail, prompting him to screech like a cat.
"Nick, how many- ow- times have I- ow- told you to not- ow- pull my tail?" Chris tried to yell, but it hurt to even talk.
"I don't think you should talk until your throat feels better, Chris," Martin returned the flyswatter to the drawer. Chris nodded painfully. Martin returned with something from the drawer, "I know of a temporary solution." He produced a red ribbon with a cat bell on it and tied it to Chris's shirt collar, "Just ring this bell when you need to communicate."
Chris glared slightly at him and did look a little embarrassed, but rang the bell anyway. He had to wear one of these devil devices as a kitten, and he still hated them. Nick gave a smile and a wave.
"Hello!" He said.
"Chris is trying to say something, Nick," Martin said. Chris opened his mouth and pointed inside.
"Chris wants an umbrella," Nick said.
"The latest in Chemistry Theories magazine?" Martin tried. Chris shook his head.
"Buttered toast?" Nice tried once more.
"Hey guys, what's going on?" Ryland came downstairs, "Hey! It's Chris's old kitten bell!"
Nick greeted Ryland.
"Chris forgot his voice.," He said. Martin nodded.
"And talks to us by ringing this bell," Martin added.
"Really? I thought it was so that he didn't get in trouble," Ryland joked. Chris drew his cat nails but stayed where he was. He tried ringing the bell again. He opened his mouth to try and say something but a moo came from outside. The group of four stepped outside to see where the moo came from, stopping only when Ryland noticed the screen door.
"Tell me you didn't break the screen door, Nick," She said.
"Ok, I didn't," Nick said.
"Hallo eldest-sons-of-Ed-boys," Victor greeted, standing next to a cow. His attention was drawn to the hollow brass ball around Chris's neck, "Why is Chris wearing the discipline-cat-bell of his troubled youth?"
He gave a hearty laugh.
"Chris hurt his voice," Nick said.
"And talks to us by using this bell," Martin explained. Chris rang the bell with increasing force until the sound couldn't be ignored.
"Hey, it's Chris!" Nick said.
"What is it, Chris?" Martin asked.
"Chris needs...to water the Christmas tree because it's dry!" Nick said. Ryland couldn't restrain her laughter. Chris looked to Martin and rang the bell.
"Chris would like a dictionary," Martin said. Chris rang the bell again, "An atlas?"
"Chris is hungry," Victor said. The kids looked to Victor with surprise, the three non-mutes talking together.
"Chris is hungry?"
"Oh, I'm gonna be late for my game!" Ryland said, taking off.
"Yes, can you not hear it?" Victor asked. Nick and Martin looked to Chris, who nodded at Victor's guess. Victor waved the boys to him, "Come, you are invited to Victor's for food and merriment."
"Mary and Martha aren't home, are they?" Martin asked, worried.
"No, they are out paint spraying," Victor said. The four headed off to Victor's house.
Nick, Martin, Chris, and Victor were sitting at a table covered with strange foods.
"Victor's father taught Victor well in the ways of the reading of the bells," Victor explained, "He even helped your father when he fell without voice and had to use a bell. But enough about Victor; please, let us fill our faces."
He chortled eagerly as he swept his eyes across the grand display of food laid across the table. Nick spotted the squid and placed it on his head. The only thing that looked remotely editable to Chris was the fish tails on a stick. Victor dropped his fork at the sight of the edible hat on Nick's head.
"Nick, you are disgracing yourself!" He shifted focus to the other two boys, "Tell Victor how good his fish sticks are, please."
He motioned toward his mouth. Martin looked towards Chris, who took a big bite out of the fish and licked his lips happily. Somewhat more at ease, Martin sunk his teeth into the fish's scales, the strong taste of salt bringing tears to his eyes. He made every effort not to show for it.
"A gastronomic coup, Victor..." He said weakly. Chris ate a few more of the fish sticks. As he reached for another fish stick, his bell brushed his drink glass.
"Victor, what does Chris want?" Martin asked.
"Chris wishes to work off the fish with outdoor activity," Victor said.
The next thing Chris knew, they were at the swimming hole.
"Synchronized swimming," Martin said, astonished, "Swimming, sure, but the synchronized part I never knew, Chris."
The boys were in the water and spread out. Then they came back up the surface with their legs. Nick lifted Chris out of the water.
"Dunk Chris," Nick said, "Dunk Chris."
Chris started to ring the bell. However, Nick and Martin were underwater, so they didn't hear. After a few more poses, they heard the bell rang.
Chris was on a unicycle in a huge slingshot. Nick was holding him back and Chris looked absolutely terrified.
"I am surprised," Victor said, "The Unicycle of Doom is a very brave request for a coward."
Chris tried to scream but that only hurt his throat, and no sound came out. Nick then let go of Chris. Chris went barreling across the cul-de-sac, bursting into Janet and Jason's house and going out the back with Janet, who was screaming. He threw Janet off him and continued to try and scream. He hit a fence board, which spun him around and tossed him at the park. He then flew into a light pole and flew off.
"What now, Victor?" Martin asked.
Chris was in his room. He was sulked in his chair and the fridge was blocking the outside door.
"Chris, where's the fridge?!" Izzy yelled and came in his room, "Look, I don't even want to know, but just give me the milk."
Izzy grabbed the milk from the fridge and left, closing the door behind her. Nick slammed into the fridge, knocking off the door.
"Chris is hot and would like to cool off for a moment," Victor said.
Martin twisted the temperature control knob as low as it would go, and the fridge started belching freezing air into Chris's room. A snowflake fell down onto Chris. Then another. And another. Soon, it started snowing indoors. It quickly became clear that the snow was coming from the fridge in the door, and Nick and Martin waving from beyond the frosted window was a sign of who turned the temperature so cold. Chris started shivering and rushed over, trying to move the fridge. It was no use; the plummeting temperatures were sapping away his strength, and the snow had frozen the other door in the room shut. He wrapped himself up in his blanket. He walked through the snow-filled room and looked out the window.
"Boy, is it hot," Martin said from outside. He was drinking some lemonade and Nick was stuffing his face with a watermelon, and it was all over his face. They saw Chris at the window.
"Hey, it's Chris!" Nick noticed. Chris was beating on the door.
"What does he want, Victor?" Martin asked.
"Chris is thanking us," Victor said, "Or he would like his fifth toenail clipped...Ok yes, he is thanking us."
The window started to freeze up. Martin laughed.
"It's nice to help out a friend," He said. The last thing visible before the window became opaque was the desperately rung bell in Chris's hand.
Chris was sneaking around the outside of his house. At the same time, Izzy was talking with the boys.
"Have you guys seen Chris?" She asked. They heard Chris's bell ring. Izzy turned toward the sound, "There's Chris!"
Chris looked panicked. Martin turned to Nick.
"How did Chris get out of his room?" He asked him.
"Cartoon logic," Nick said. Victor cornered Chris against the fence.
"Yes, Chris? What is it?" Victor asked, "Ring your bell, please."
Izzy, Martin, and Nick followed after Victor. Chris stood there. Izzy looked to the boys.
"What have you guys been doing?" She asked.
"Chris's throat is sore so he's using this bell to communicate," Martin explained. Izzy looked back and forth between Chris and the boys.
"Are you sure you know what he's saying?" She asked them, "Because he's got that scaredy-cat look in his eyes."
Chris glared slightly at his older sister.
"What?" Izzy shrugged. Chris heaved a silent sigh and brought his friends' attention to him. He moved his hands as if he were flipping through a book, then pretended to tear out a page before outlining a square shape around where it would've been. Izzy turned to the boys.
"I think he's asking for a piece of paper," She said. Chris nodded happily. Victor fished around in his pocket before pulling out a piece of paper.
"Paper for Chris?" He said, holding it out. Chris took it and acted like he was writing on it.
"Yes Chris, sure," Victor said. He handed Chris an ear of corn. Izzy was stupefied. "He asked for a pen!"
Victor shook his head.
"He asked for corn," He said, "Do you have mustard in your ears, Elder Kitten?"
Izzy took a step forward.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked angrily. Chris threw the corn to the ground and mimed yelling at Nick and Martin. Izzy shook her head in bemusement.
"Maybe I should do the talking for Chris," She voiced.
"No Izzy-she-cat, Victor has got this," Victor said. Chris screamed silently in frustration before kicking the fence. He started crying silently and holding his foot. Izzy nudged the fallen corncob into Chris's path as he jumped backward. He tripped and fell over, his bell ringing.
"Chris would like to face his greatest fear," Victor said. Izzy's eyes lit up.
"Oh, this I have to see," She chuckled. Chris, meanwhile, couldn't believe what he heard.
"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and watch Chris McGee face off against the great beast!" Izzy was announcing. He was in Victor's front yard, "Just one dollar! Will he survive, or will he turn tail and flee? Come and see, come and see!"
Among those in the audience were Eddward, Nicole, and some of Victor's cousins. Martin and Nick were giving Chris the classic 'boxing warm-up' for his faceoff with The Beast. Chris looked absolutely terrified.
"Ten whole dollars!" Izzy said happily, sitting down next to Ryland, "We should do this more often!"
Nick patted Chris on the back as he escorted him into position for the match.
"We getcha, Chris," He said.
"Chris is prepared to face the great beast," Victor said.
There was a door by the pen. Nobody but Victor could see the animal behind. As he moved to unlatch the gate, The Great Beast started drawing him down into its pen. Chris covered his eyes, braced for a full-fledged assault. Only when Victor succeeded in opening the gate did he dare to peek at The Great Beast. What he saw left him in shock and awe. Standing there was a chicken. It looked peaceful enough. Chris started mime laughing at it. The chicken bawked angrily and Chris saw that he was standing in front of a nest with chicken eggs inside of it. Chris put on a display of mock fear before waving his red cape like a matador. Nick watched with excitement.
"¡Olé!" He said.
"Chris, do not taunt the mother doodle," Victor warned. Justin called out from the sidelines.
"What's the matter, Chris? Cat got your tongue?" He shared a high-five with James as the two laughed. The distraction provided an opportunity for the hen to strike at Chris. Chris silently screamed and ran around the pen. June noticed that her brother had vanished from the seat next to her.
"Jakob?" She questioned. Nick was cheering Chris on as he ran.
"Go, Chris!" He cheered. Chris tried to climb out of the pen but Nick lifted him back in, "Whoops, you almost fell out!"
Sweat rolled down Chris's face as the hen made a move on him. Martin called from the fence.
"Use the cape, Chris!" He instructed, "The cape!"
Chris looked at the cape and held it out. The hen let out a deafening squawk as it charged at Chris. Chris quickly moved the cape, revealing Woody planted in the dirt. The hen's beak stuck into where Woody's nose would be.
"Ya-hoo, we rescued another one!" Jakob cheered. The hen's nest was roosted on his head. The audience erupted with laughter as Victor confronted his cousin.
"Jakob! Return with Victor's hen!" Victor yelled, running after the Afro-haired-boy. Chris sighed with relief as Victor chased Jakob out of the arena and plucked the bell from his neck.
"Uh, Victor's not here, Chris, but I have a good idea of what-" Nick was cut off as Chris threw the bell at him. The uproar of laughter was punctuated by Chris storming out of the arena. Nick and Martin went after him.
The two boys were searching around the lane for Chris, but he couldn't be found. Chris had climbed a tree and was hiding from the boys in it. They walked by without seeing him, and he made some faces at them before jumping out.
Unfortunately, his shirt had other ideas.
Chris sighed.
"Why do cats always get stuck in trees?!" He yelled angrily. Then he realized, "Hey, I can talk!"
He started shouting at the top of his newfound voice.
"Nick! I can talk! Martin, get back here! Izzy, get me down! Ryland! ANYBODY!"
"The brain is a miraculous organ, Nick," Martin said. The two of them were sitting at Nick's door, "Why, it's actually fooling me into thinking that Chris is calling out to us."
Chris kept yelling when a noise went off from his pocket and he pulled out his phone with a text from Nicole. His brain raced with one thought and one thought only.
"WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT?!"