Before John's smile even had the time to fade away completely, Sherlock had closed the distance between them again. He pressed his lips to John's with force and reached to pull him closer. He kissed John with a hunger, like he'd been waiting for this moment forever. John was momentarily stunned by the raw passion, but he caught up quickly.
He brought a hand to Sherlock's hair, and gripped tightly enough to have some control, but not tightly enough to cause pain. He toyed with the dark curls beneath his fingers and brought his other hand to Sherlock's face, running his palm over the soft skin of his cheek and tracing the sharp angles of his cheekbones.
Sherlock's hands had remained on each of John's shoulders, but they were moving lower now, trailing down across his chest. Sherlock traced the hardened muscles through the thin fabric of his shirt carefully, as if he were inspecting him, and absorbing every single detail.
The kisses were more frantic now, with occasional nips rather than the gentle touches they'd shared previously. It was only when Sherlock started fumbling to remove John's shirt that John pulled away from the embrace.
John's head was spinning, though it wasn't from alcohol or grief; now, it was simply from Sherlock. Sherlock, with his eyes shining expectantly and his lips red. Sherlock, with spots of color on his porcelain cheeks as he tried to catch his breath. Sherlock, with his nimble, meticulous hands. Sherlock, who was clearly eager for more.
And yet, John had pulled away.
Sherlock looked at him with his eyes opened wide in confusion. This wasn't logical. Of course John's actions were beyond him.
"Did I do something wrong?" Sherlock asked, his voice shaking slightly from adrenaline and perhaps from a bit of fear at John's unexpected reaction. Sherlock didn't do well with the unexpected. He also didn't do well with being wrong. The fact that he'd asked at all shocked John for a moment.
Sherlock continued to peer at him curiously, and John couldn't stop the small smile that lit up his face. Because it was preposterous, really. Sherlock was the most brilliant man he'd ever met, ever even heard of, and yet he could be so oblivious. He could take in every single detail, and miss the most obvious matters of the heart.
"You didn't do anything wrong. God, you…" John gave a short huff of laughter. "You did everything exactly right." John licked his lips quickly, and the taste of Sherlock that remained there was nearly enough to break his self-control.
Sherlock's expression softened slightly but his focus remained on John. "Then I don't understand."
"Why I pulled away?"
"Obviously," His eyes swept over John as he did a quick assessment. "Your pupils are fully dilated. You've responded in a very enthusiastic way. And based on the way that you're continuously shifting to find a more comfortable sitting position, you are fully physically arou…"
"Whoa, Sherlock. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for that keen observation." John's voice crackled with sarcasm and he felt the blush creep across his cheeks. He cursed his painfully discreet, private habits. He'd just been having a brilliant snog with Sherlock, and yes, he was fully… enjoying it, but goodness, Sherlock didn't have to be so outright about voicing every little thing. Some things didn't have to be said.
"Then I don't understand why we don't proceed. I'm consenting. You're consenting. We're both physically aroused. This is the natural progression of our relationship."
"Relationship?" John asked, before he could contain his words.
"A relationship, yes, John. Or perhaps you would prefer friendship? Or maybe just colleagues?" Sherlock's voice was sharp and his eyes flashed darkly as he reminded John of the time that he'd denied being Sherlock's friend at all. It seemed so long ago. It was so long ago, yet guilt rushed into him as if he'd said it yesterday.
"That's not fair, Sherlock, and you know it," he dismissed. "Relationship, yeah. That's…" He paused and drew a deep breath. "Fine. Relationship is fine."
"Fine?" Sherlock said, raising an eyebrow slightly.
"It's good," John said, the corner of his mouth quirking upward. "Very good,"
Sherlock gave a thin smile, and then reached for John. "We should continue then," he said, pulling John close and moving with alarming speed to meet his lips. For a moment John was lost again, lost completely in Sherlock. In his lips, his hair, the lithe shape of his body. It was only when he heard Sherlock give a soft moan against his mouth that John remembered himself.
It took everything that John had to force himself away from Sherlock. Really, everything. He wanted nothing more than to… continue, but this wasn't right at all. John pushed away from Sherlock and scooted to the opposite side of the bed. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment.
"No," he said quietly, when he'd regained some amount of control. He opened his eyes and looked at Sherlock. His face was strained, painted with a mixture of hurt and confusion that John hoped to never again have to see, let alone be the cause of.
"I realize that I'm not quite as experienced in these matters as you are, John. You have obviously had many various sexual partners, and my own record is severely lacking, but I assure you, I can certainly keep up. I can do this. There won't be any problems. I'll impress you." The look of hurt was gone now, replaced with a smug confidence that sent a jolt straight through John. Bloody hell. He was already impressed. He was always impressed.
Sherlock Holmes was trying to talk him into having sex. This wasn't fair. This wasn't even close to being fair.
"I…" As John started to speak an embarrassing noise left his mouth. It wasn't a squeak. No. Definitely not. He would never admit that. It was, however, a rather high, undignified sound. He forced a cough and continued. "I never doubted your, um, abilities. Trust me,"
And he truly hadn't. Sherlock was quite good at everything. He was precise and careful and brilliant and fantastic… and God, it occurred to John just how badly he wanted to sleep with him.
"Then why?" Sherlock asked, interrupting John's muddled thoughts.
"Because Sherlock, not… not like this," he said, after a brief pause. He was vaguely aware that he was echoing Sherlock's words from when he'd been drunk. Funny that. Earlier it had been him trying desperately to "progress the relationship," and now, the tables were turned.
"Like this?" Sherlock said, a crease forming between his eyebrows.
"In the guest room of my mum's house, with my sister in the other room, on the day of my dad's funeral." Well, it really did sound ridiculous when put like that.
"Ah. Not like this," Sherlock agreed, looking down with a certain amount of disappointment.
"You understand," John said, because as much as Sherlock might pout, he knew that he did.
"Of course," Sherlock said, standing from the bed and straightening the wrinkles out of his clothes. He ran a hand over his mussed hair in an effort to smooth it down.
"You don't have to leave," John said, sitting up straighter on the bed and peering at Sherlock.
"I want tea," Sherlock said shortly.
John nodded. "Alright, yes. Tea sounds lovely. I'll go, too."
Sherlock said nothing and John felt the need to fill the silence. "Sherlock, you're really not angry? You do understand?"
Sherlock's expression softened. "I'm not angry. A bit sexually frustrated, yes. But not angry."
John didn't have to force the laughter now. Sherlock. Sexually frustrated. Goodness. Add that to the ever-growing list of things that John couldn't believe he'd heard Sherlock say.
"Just a bit frustrated?" John asked, his tone playful.
Sherlock shot him an annoyed stare before opening the bedroom door. "Tea," he huffed, standing by the door, waiting for John with a look of pure petulance on his face.
Once John had caught control of his laughter, he gave Sherlock a small smile. "Come on, then. I'll make us both a cup."
Author's Note: Sorry the the late (and short) update. I got a Pinterest. Seriously. That's my excuse. It's just really fun. I have a whole board dedicated to Benedict GINGERbatch. What a gorgeous man. Anyway, here's my Pinterest link if any of you have accounts and want to join the fun! /skyytweet/
Oh, and thanks for reading, of course. I would love any feedback at all!