Yep, Bella is not exactly seeing things clearly. It's because she's a teenager, guys! She doesn't know what she wants, and she's gone through a lot with having a baby and having to grow up so fast. Think about it: A baby changes your life forever, and when you're a teenager…you don't have much of a life. You don't have bills to pay and food to buy and a family to support. Having a baby is an emotional experience at any age, but as a teenager, I think that it's just making Bella more confused.

And yes, Twilight44, you can have this Edward since Bella doesn't want him. I'll giftwrap him and send him to you through UPS =)

…

Today is Avery's seven month birthday. It's silly, really, but I've celebrated each month of her life with a little something special for just the two of us. Today, I decided to skip school and take her with me to Port Angeles to go shopping. We don't have a lot of money to spend, but it'll still be fun to get away together for a little while; just the two of us. Edward wouldn't approve of me missing school, but luckily he's working today and I don't have to worry about it. Hopefully, we'll be home by the time he gets off work.

Our day is quiet and fun and just ours. I took Avery into a baby clothes store and marveled at all the little dresses, even though I couldn't afford to buy them. She was only seven months old, but I could tell that she was having a good time. I didn't get to spend enough time with my daughter; even my weekends were filled up with housework and homework.

By the time I was done window shopping and got back into the car, I was horrified to find that I had two missed calls, both from Edward. And a text message, asking me where I was and where Avery was. Now, I'm just plain screwed. Edward is insanely protective of Avery. He doesn't seem to get that I'm her mother and I can look after her just fine. Instead of calling him back, I sent him a text saying we'd be home soon. Then I reached into the backseat and gave Avery her teething rings, turned up the radio, and drove home.

When I got there, Edward was even madder. I should have expected it, really, but him being mad made me mad too. He was waiting for me in the doorway, his fists clenched and his eyes burning. I breezed right past him, squaring my shoulders and holding my head high as I carried Avery, who was sleeping, into her room. I could hear Edward behind me as I put Avery into a pair of pajamas and put her into her crib. When I was finished with that, I pushed past Edward again and walked out of Avery's room and into the living room with him on my heels again.

"What the fuck happened today, Bella? You can't just skip school and run off with our daughter without telling me!" Edward snapped.

"Don't give me that crap, and don't tell me what to do, either!" I retorted, giving him a little shove and trying to stomp past him.

But Edward grabbed my arm and stopped me, pulling me back towards him. "You're acting like a child." He said in a low, dark voice.

I gritted my teeth and used all my strength to rip myself away from him, shoving him away again. "You know what, Edward? News Flash: I am a child! I'm barely eighteen years old and I'm stuck here in this godforsaken apartment raising a baby with a man that I'm not even in love with or even completely committed to!" That last part was a little unnecessary, but I said it anyway, because I wanted to hurt him. "You have ruined my life!" I shouted, and tears started running down my face. "I didn't want anything of this, I didn't even ask you to stick around!"

"Like fuck, you didn't!" Edward spat, taking a step closer to me. "What was I supposed to do, leave you alone with no money and my fucking kid? I'm not that kind of person, Bella. And never, not once, did you turn me down for any of things I have provided for you and Avery. You've taken it all, telling me that you appreciate it, but that's it. Not once have you not needed my help, and I've been giving it to you freely because I know that I've fucked your life up, and I'm sorry."

"I care about you." I said stiffly. "But I want to have a life, Edward."

He stared at me evenly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, then, who am I to stop you?" He asked coldly, "Leave, if you really feel that way."

"I can't do that." I whispered softly, even though I wish I could.

…

There were some choices that I needed to make. I had been lying to myself, and to everyone else, for what felt like an eternity. I wasn't brave or strong or mature or responsible, that was just the mast I was wearing. And now, after I've been through all of this, it's still just a mask but there's nothing left underneath. There's no way for me to get back the life I wanted so bad. I wanted to go to college and get a job and then start a family with a man I was in love with. I had done it all wrong, and I couldn't even blame it all on Edward though I tried. Because he was far better at this than I was. He had been changing himself, adapting, for a long time.

I had told myself countless times that I cared for Edward, but did I really? Or did I just care about keeping the sorry excuse that was our 'family' together? I've been trying to create a goddamn normal life for my daughter, and all I've succeeded in is making it even more twisted and broken. Edward is such a good person, but I can't make myself want to stay with him.

I wish I was in love with him, but I'm far from it. I resent him and I blame him and I keep trying to love and hate him at the same time.

Never before in my eighteen years of life have I felt so trapped by something I was trying so hard not to care about. I just wish I had the courage to do something about it.

…

Yikes, such sadness. Please review, and tell me what's going through your mind. This story…it's going to be a, um, what they call a 'slow burn'. It's not going to be insanely long, but it will probably be more than twenty chapters. But like always, things can change.

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie