Chapter 10

It'd been 3 days since everything had happened. I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone. My cell phone had about 30 missed calls, tons of unanswered to texts, and countless unheard to voicemails. I just couldn't bear to lie to everyone and say I was fine when I was anything but fine. I'd never understood how horrible a breakup actually felt. I'd always assumed that people were over-dramatic when describing it. I knew now how wrong I was to think that in the first place. Adam hadn't tried to contact me once and that's what hurt the most. I couldn't cry anymore over the situation; especially since I brought it onto myself. I knew I had to go back on the road tomorrow and I also knew I'd have to be in the same arena as Adam. I had considered calling Vince and telling him that I couldn't be an employee anymore but I couldn't run away from a job I needed. I didn't have a nest egg of money hidden away in an off shore back account or a rich father who could pay my way through life.

As I finished packing my duffel bag, I heard a knock on my apartment door. I sighed and wondered who it could be. I walked towards to the peep hole and saw Jeff standing there. I didn't want to see anyone. Not even my best friend of 20 years. I had it set in my mind to act like I wasn't home. There was another knock on the door. I hoped he'd leave.

"Bree, I know you're in there. I heard you walk to the door..." Jeff spoke softly. "Please, open the door. I just want to see that you're alive..."

I sighed to myself. He knew me too well. That's the problem when people know you better than you know yourself. Jeff knew me too well to believe I wasn't home.

"Bree!" he screamed as he pounded the door. "I have a key, did you forget? Don't make me use it!" his voice filled with aggravation.

I twisted the lock on the door and slowly opened the door. Jeff's face relaxed quickly as he stared at me.

"You've seen me... now can you leave me alone?" I asked fighting tears.

"You look terrible..." he said looking hurt. "Can I come in?"

I shrugged. "Sure, why not." I stepped away from the door and walked towards the couch. Jeff followed.

"I see you haven't quit..." Jeff said pointing to my duffel.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I need a job."

I looked up at him. I wasn't mad at him, I wasn't hurt by him. He unfortunately was there. I covered my eyes once I felt the tears coming and began to sob. I felt his hand on my shoulder as he sat next to me and attempted to wrap his arms around me. I didn't want his comfort. I didn't want his pity. I attempted to shrug his arms away but he kept his hold on me.

"Bree, I love you and I hate seeing you in pain. Please just let me be here for you." his voice pleaded. I looked into his eyes and felt myself dissolving into a big hysterical mess.

"It hurts soo bad!" I sobbed into his chest. His hand stroked my hair as he held me.

"I know it does. I wish I could take the kiss back... the way I acted when I found out about you and Adam... everything. I feel shitty that you had to hide the truth from me." he added.

I looked at him. "You wish the kiss never happened?"

He blushed. "I wish that the kiss would have happened years ago... I don't know why it didn't. I think I was afraid of hurting you."

His words caught me off guard. He ran his hand through his blonde hair as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"I didn't kiss you because you were with Adam and I was jealous. I have wanted to do that for as long as I can remember. I didn't want to ruin our friendship or scare you or anything..."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked as I rubbed the tears from my face.

"I'm impulsive, I always put myself first and I didn't want to do anything to hurt you. Ever since that kiss you're all I think about. Bree, I am so sorry."

He placed his hands onto my neck and drew my face to look into his eyes. I didn't want him to kiss me again. I looked him in his eyes and felt myself begin to cry again.

"I can't..." I sobbed. "I'm sorry. I really am. I just can't." I attempted to break his hold on me.

"Hey, hey, hey. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he pulled me into a tight embrace. "This is the last thing I wanted."

"Jeff, I don't know how I feel. I am so confused. I wish you'd never kissed me because since then nothing makes sense!"

I know my words hurt him. I tried to gather my thoughts together. "Please just be my friend."

"I always have been..." he muttered kissing my forehead.

I rested my head on his chest and faded to sleep in his arms. The next morning was awkward but Jeff took it in stride.

"I'm sorry about last night." I muttered. "Do you need coffee?"

"Nah, I need to go home and grab my bags. I didn't plan on spending the night..." he grinned.

"Can I go with you? I mean to the arena... with you and Matt?" I stuttered.

Jeff smiled. "Of course. C'mon small fry." He smiled placing his arm on my shoulder as we left my apartment.

Jeff, Matt and I walked into the arena and scanned the room for Adam. I was terrified of seeing him. I didn't want to cry at work. Seeing Adam would result in tears. Matt decided to go to the weight room and promised to see us later. Jeff walked me towards the medical office. He attempted to make small talk with me as we walked but my mind was elsewhere. Suddenly there he was standing right in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him. Jeff stood back and watched.

"Aubree." Adam said coldly.

"Adam..." I replied softly.

Adam brushed past me and locked eyes with Jeff as he left. I felt like I'd been hit in the chest with a sack of bricks. Jeff looked at me sadly. He said nothing but I could tell he wanted to add his opinion.

"You ok?" he asked.

I looked at him with the tears welding in my eyes. "I'll be ok..."

"I have something to do... I'll see you later?" he said as he was heading out the office door before I could respond.

"Sure..." I said as the door closed leaving me alone.