Our Dirty Little Secret
Chapter 10 - My Hope is Feeling Worn
A/N: I really can't believe how popular this is...I'm really glad you guys enjoy this. It's fairly easy to write, most of the time...because Marper is just awesome, obviously! :) Sorry (once again) for the delay, but I will try to get back on track with quick updates. Well, this and the next chapter will be pretty intense, so be warned.
Mood Music: Long Way Down - The Goo Goo Dolls
Disclaimer: OMG you know what I wished I owned? A car, money, a good man etc... I think I should focus on those first before I pursue Wizards of Waverly Place.
Chapter Summary: The Russos find out about Harper's pregnancy...
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Was it normal to be holding your breath this much?
"Probably not," I heard a voice next to me say. I glanced over at Max, whom I assumed the voice had come from. So, I was thinking out loud now, too. Or maybe he was using his wizard powers to read my mind? Now, I was just being paranoid.
I let out the breath I had been holding audibly, and looked around at the bus passengers around me. We were on our way to the Russo loft, to tell them about what had happened...the words were a lump in my throat now. How ever would I get them out in front of the Russos?
We were going to tell them that I was pregnant...that Max and I had slept together very recklessly, and that now the situation had worsened. Every muscle in my body was tense, and my stomach was feeling as queasy as it ever had. I had a strong suspicion that it wasn't connected to the baby. The baby... My muscles relaxed a bit at that word entering my mind, and I smiled absentmindedly. I had been doing that a lot more lately, whenever I thought about the life inside of me, that I was nurturing and taking care of already.
Random names had been popping into my head...
Names that would potentially belong to this life, should Max and I ever finalize the decision.
Perhaps Alex could help--
My throat swelled once more. Tonight, I would tell my best friend just what had prompted the relationship between Max and I, and it would be awkward and uncomfortable, and possibly friendship-ending. My eyes glazed over at the thought of losing her. What would my life be like with her absence?
I imagined the look on her face. It mirrored disgust and hatred, more intense than any expression I'd ever seen her wear, and the mere thought of it frightened me. She would glance between Max and I, and her mouth would move, searching for the perfect pain-inducing thing to say, and she would elect to say nothing, because she knew that would hurt the most. Then, she would storm upstairs, Justin in tow, most-likely.
And I would be left with Jerry and Theresa. Theresa would be clutching her chest in shock, probably muttering Spanish profanities, and Jerry would be pursing his lips and shaking his head.
It seemed interesting that I could plan everything they would do, but when it came to my own parents' reaction, nothing came to mind.
I sank lowing into the bus seat, though cowering was probably a better description. I tried to ease my mind by taking in the sights of the bus.
There was an elderly couple in front of us, whispering to each other, before chuckling every so often. I would hear names that were unfamiliar to me from the woman, and the man would nod and smile. I assumed she was informing him of some details that were tied to their friends, or members of their family.
Their hands were clasped, much like mine and Max's, and I grinned lightly at the possibility of being with him for as long as the old man and woman had been with each other.
The woman rested her head against the man's shoulder and closed her eyes, and I matched her movement, laying my head against Max. I felt him nestle closer to me, and kiss the top of my head.
My eyes wandered to a young girl, maybe twenty or so, who was decked out in black. Her dark hair was in numerous braids, all of them ending with a metallic bead, embellished in what looked like decorative, acryllic vines. Her eyes were sloshed with eyeliner and mascara, which seemed about ready to run any second, because she looked quite emotional.
Her cell phone was in hand, and she appeared to be texting. Whoever was texting her must have been sending some pretty upsetting messages, because the girl's eyes would flicker with anger, before glazing over with sorrow, as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
I bit my lip, wondering what the other person was saying to her. I felt a bit empathetic. I was soon to be in the same boat as her, with people saying hurtful things to me also, or at least I expected as much.
There was also a young mother on the bus, her pretty daughter seated next to her, looking polite. She would tug on her mother's dress every so often, to whisper a question that went unheard. The mother was ignoring the child, for whatever reason. I frowned, wanting to speak up - to tell the mother to pay attention to her child.
It took me a moment to remember that my parents had been the same way with me throughout my whole life. I felt the sudden urge to hug the little girl, and relay my past to her, telling her that it would be alright.
I also wanted to empathize with the young woman who was texting, seemingly ostracized by someone, perhaps for a poor choice, or just for the fun of it.
And the old couple in the seat in front of us. I wanted to ask them how they got to where they were. How they maintained such happiness and love for each other through all these years.
My reflective thoughts were replaced with a new one - my past, present and potential future were all right here on this bus. The little girl being ignored, the young woman who was being harrassed by someone, and the happy elderly couple.
While the last one seemed rather welcoming, I felt abashed by the fact that my life was being thrown in my face, when I was trying to get my mind off of it. I glanced up at the ceiling of the bus, though I was really casting my eyes at God.
"Very funny," I muttered to myself.
"Huh?" Max groaned, and he had obviously fallen asleep, because he sounded groggy.
"It's nothing," I replied, my eyes still glued to the top of the bus.
Max and I both jumped as the bus came to a halt at the entrance of Waverly Place, the quaint shopping district filled with boutiques and delis, and the handful of other people on the bus filed out in front of us.
I gave Max a fearful glance, before rising to my feet, and he shared my expression. This was my idea, I remembered, so what was I freaking out for? I saw Max press his lips together, his whole body tense, much like mine was.
"Are you ready for this?" He asked me, his eyes wide with curiosity, and possibly with the hope that I might change my mind.
"No, but we have to do this," I answered, trying to sound as firm as possible, and not succeeding. Any resolve I had been carrying was dwindling fast, like water down a drain. I gave Max's hand a squeeze, before pulling him along the aisle and down the steep, metal stairs of the bus.
Together, we stared down the dark path of Waverly Place. It was evening, so most of the shops were closing up. One by one, the patches of light that the windows were casting were flickering out, and Max and I were being left with the dim glow of streetlamps.
I clasped his hand protectively, before leading him to the front of the Waverly Sub Station. I held my breath for a moment, before letting it go, and I prepared to make my way inside, before Max stopped me. I stared at him with a vacant expression, hoping that he wouldn't try to talk me out of this.
"I just want you to know..." He trailed off, but didn't finish.
"What?" I inquired, his vague comment only adding to the tension I felt.
"No matter what happens in there, I love you. No matter what happens, I will always love you. O-okay?" He stammered, probably unsure of just what the result of us telling his parents what we had done would be. The true intent of what he was saying scared me even more. No matter what happens... Just what was going to happen in there?
"I love you, too," I said through clenched teeth and a quivering lip.
Max placed his hands on my shoulders and his lips softly against mine, but I was shaking too badly to respond. My stomach was doing flips, and I could barely move, other than the trembling my body was doing involuntarily. My breathing was ragged and panicked, but that was to be expected, I suppose.
I glanced up at the terrace above us, perhaps to make sure no one had seen us. There was no one up there.
"Let's just get this over with," I said with a wavering voice that broke several times. Max frowned at me, and looked at the ground, before following me inside.
The restaurant had closed recently. The chairs were stacked on the tables carelessly, which told me Alex had the last shift. It was dark, except for the decorative bulbs on the prop subway car on the far left of the restaurant. The darkness only intensified my dread.
The walk upstairs was silent and riddled with negativity. My tension-fraught shoulders were pointed up in a defensive position, as I prepared to knock on the door. Max however, just walked right in, as I remembered he lived there, and him knocking would be kind of silly.
From behind him, I saw that Jerry was watching some type of sporting event, while Theresa sat in the armchair reading the newspaper. Justin and Alex were arguing over something in the kitchen...that is, until Max and I walked in. Then, all eyes were on us. Alex's mouth hung open a bit, and the rest of the Russos looked confused.
Theresa's expression was not unkind, though with her eyes, she was asking what the heck Max and I were doing together. This made me even more nervous.
"What's...going on?" She asked, trying to keep her tone friendly.
"Uh...Uh, they were uh...working on a prooo-ject," Alex attempted to cover for us, before realizing something serious was going on when she looked at my face. Justin looked between her and I, knowing he had been left out of the loop on something.
"Yeah, what is going on?" He asked, looking for any excuse to get Alex in trouble. If only he knew that would not be the end result of this catastrophe. I struggled to speak, but choked on my words, and even I didn't know how they were going to manifest.
Max stared at me, avoiding everyone else's eyes, causing even more attention to be brought to me. I was uncomfortable, more so than I had ever been in the Russo loft. This was even stranger than finding out that Justin, Alex and Max were wizards. Stranger than a family of vampires moving in down the street. Stranger than all of Alex's ex-boyfriends combined.
"I--We," I started out, before changing my opening and motioning to both Max and myself, "sort of have something to tell you."
The Russos were unflinching, and overtly curious, so much so that it was painful. My delay in answering seemed to add to it.
"Well, out with it," Theresa demanded, though still possessing that motherly tone. It only made it hurt worse.
"HarperandIhavebeenseeingeachother," Max blurted out, so fast that I doubted anyone understood it. Everyone except for me, that is. My mouth hung open, at his abruptness, before pursing my lips in disbelief, and squeezing my eyes shut. I wished I was far away from there, at that moment.
Alex's mouth curved upward into an amused smile, but only because she knew only half the story. I was sure that smirk would be wiped away momentarily.
Jerry and Theresa looked surprised, and Justin looked weirded out. I wrung my hands together absently, waiting for one of them to say something.
"Uh..." Jerry grunted, squinting his eyes in confusion.
"Well..." Theresa added, trying to find something else to say, quite obviously.
"What?" Justin exclaimed, but everyone ignored him.
"Well, I always considered you apart of this family, Harper. To be honest, I always assumed it would be made official someday, though I didn't expect Max to be involved," Theresa replied, chuckling when she mentioned Max. He looked offended by her statement.
My eyes filled with tears, because my guilt was steadily building. Theresa gaited over to me and pulled me against her in a warm hug, and I started to sob.
"Oh, honey...I don't know why you felt like you had to hide this from us. If you and Max like each other, then by all means, be together. I'd rather him have found you than some creature from the wizard world that could be a potential threat to our family," Theresa consoled me, though as she finished, she glared at Justin and Alex. They looked abashed.
It was all too much. I didn't deserve this kind of treatment after what I had done. I had ruined Max's life, even if he didn't realize it, and his family was here trying to make me feel better. It had to end.
"Mrs. Russo, I'm pregnant," I cried out, before flinching at my own words.
A/N: I'm sorry :\ I know you are all cussing me out right now...I'm sorry I had to do a cliffhanger, but I really needed to update, lol... Soo, I hope you liked it, and I'll try to get the next chapter up quickly.