Chapter 10: the same mistake

''Ara, I gotta talk about something important and you absolutely have to know, it's about my future.'' She told me looking away from me; she began to close her eyes and inspire deeply. Why her future concerned me? I didn't understand this girl.

''What do I have to know?'' I asked puzzled by her reaction, and silence.

''I want you to know that I'm moving to the U.S.''

''It's awesome.'' I replied immediately.

"And getting married,'' the chestnut beauty finished sadly, my heart stopped beating. Shocked, a lump formed in my throat almost making me choking... why I had this weight in my stomach that made me nauseous? Maybe it was I ate this morning? Yes surely... She was going to marry? It was perfectly normal she married with the person she loved. But she was young….I bite my lower lip strongly just thinking about it and clenched strongly my fists because my hand trembled with nervousness but I tried to hide from my niece, who looked carefully my behavior but I knew very well how do hide my emotions through my coldness.

''Congratulations.'' I simply said not knowing what to add because I didn't know what Shizuru awaited by me saying this new, except the words I pronounced. I didn't understand why she wanted to tell me so badly this information. Especially we weren't anymore close. It was for this reason that she was looking for me around Fuuka? If she wanted to invite me to her wedding, she could send me invitation card, I will probably throw in the trash as quick as possible. I am not fan of this kind of event, it always lead to divorce or separation, and above all I would see my family pretending all is perfect and honestly I didn't want to see this pathetic show

''Do you really mean it? Are you happy about my wedding with Tate?''

''Tate?''

''The man you saw with me in the florist.''

''Of course I'm happy for you, why I wouldn't be?'' I whispered.

''I don't know, I simply want you to hear you approval ... in your mouth ... that's all ...'' her answer surprise me; I found strange her concern about my opinion. After all it was her life, not mine.

''If you're happy to marry the person you love, then it what matters most to me.'' It wasn't entirely true, I can't admit I hated the idea that she belonged to someone else, why it was hurting me? It didn't matter anymore, her private life didn't concern me I had no right and never had.

From the beginning I was right, I wasn't the person who will share her love life and now ... it was real ... it was a good thing she moved on us. I admitted I was glad she was happy because she truly deserved happiness. But I noticed the beauty of Kyoto watched the ground with melancholy, I could even see tears? I wondered why she looked so unfortunate; why? She would be delighted to marry the chicken-hearted. However she erased this pain face making her fake smile. Why she reacted this way? I couldn't decipher her ... and it bothered me.

''And you Natsuki, all this time ... did you ... found someone?'' she questioned with fear in her voice.

''No.'' You idiot! You should have said yes, yes! I should use my brain more or think long and hard before speaking. But why did I have to lie to her? It wasn't as if he was doing something that I'm single or not. I really need to stop to think much but yet it was strange, now she smiled at me with a genuine smile. I was totally lost. Or was I just stupid to understand nothing.

''Ara, Natsuki is honest but not with her own feelings. How unfortunate.''

''What do you mean? What are you talking about?'' I asked incredulously as always, I really missed something.

The woman with eyed bloods came up to me and grabbed both my hands to her face, she began to smile at me warmly and I immediately blushed. Honestly ... I hated blushing! Due of having such a reaction, I was afraid that my skin color stay indefinitely red.

''You're always so cute Natsuki, no matter how much time passes, your redness missed me a lot.'' She said tenderly, kissing the tip of my nose.

''I'm not cute! And I am not red! This is due to sunburn! So stop saying that!'' I mumbled with a pout.

''Is it possible to get a sunburn in winter?''

''Yes it's possible more than you imagine and my skin is very sensitive!'' I retorted annoyed that I made her laugh melodiously.

''It's true, you're not cute but adorable my Natsuki,'' she said touching my flushed cheeks.

''...'' I began to growl through to her ''compliments'', which weren't for me. Then I realized that she had said I was hers? No; I certainly misread, I strongly hoped.

''Oi! Shizuru remove your hands from my face and stop touching me like this!'' I scolded, grabbing her wrists but she didn't seem to care and even seemed to enjoy my contact, I removed gradually my hand.

''No,'' she stated.

''No?'' I repeated with challenge.

''You heard me, I said no. Because if I do what you want, you'll look away or you'll try to avoid my gaze as you took the damn habit of doing it, and I want you to only look at me and to have your full attention because I have something very important to tell you.''

''I have no choice I guess.'' I noticed sighing totally defeated by her tenacity.

''No, you didn't.''

''Great!''

''You know, I'm not a Kuga anymore and now I'm major,'' she smiled happily handing a lock of hair behind my ear; next she stroked it with great gentleness that made me send shiver.

''Uh ... I already know you were major. But what do you mean you're no longer a Kuga?'' I admitted I did not expect her to tell me that, but mostly I didn't understand the meaning of her words. It seems I understand anything and it's frustrated me.

''I ask my mother's lawyer to remove my second name and now I'm Shizuru Fujino, I haven't kept the name of Kuga.''

''Why did you do that? This was your mother's name, somehow your legacy. I admitted it wasn't a proud to be called Kuga. I mean; it depends on which side of the family you are. But if you marry, then you can take the name of uh ... also, what is your boyfriend's name?'' I asked, trying to remember his name.

''Yuuchi Tate.''

''Yes that it, you will be the future Yuuchi Shizuru, so I don't understand why you changed your name.''

''Natsuki, I remove my second name for someone and it isn't for Tate.''

''For you?'' I replied sceptically. It was weird.

''No.''

''Okay, I'm all at sea ... please given me some explanation. For which reason you have changed your name?''

The chestnut approached me and started to kiss me gently on my lips. I unexpected her gesture; she finished her tender kiss, and she looked at me with love.

''I did this for you my precious Natsuki.'' She answered.

''F-for me?'' I stuttered incredulous

''Yes.''

'' ...'' Panicked, I removed her hands from my face. I wasn't dreaming. She just kissed me and acted as if nothing had happened. Okay if someone understood what happened a moment ago, I'd like him or her to explain because I'm totally lost. I will take full stock of the situation, Alyssa's daughter wanted to see me to tell me something important, she's moving to the U.S and she will marry Taipei, Toru no, maybe it was Tade ? Yeah, it seemed I've already forgotten his name to the other discolored porcupine, but who cared? Not me. Then Shizuru told me she was no longer a Kuga because of ... me? And then she kissed me, it was sad to say it but I think my niece became crazy.

''Ara, you shouldn't leave your mouth wide open, you could swallow flies.'' The ebony-haired woman laughed while I was speechless, not understanding what happened. I thought mentally to breathe: first inspire and next exhale, inhale, exhale. Damn it! Breathing is harder than I thought.

''Do you need some mouth-to-mouth resurrection so you could breathe again? It will be a great pleasure for me.'' The crimson goddess joked, she gave me a wink. I regained my consciousness when I saw her licking sensually her lips in apprehension; I couldn't help staring those two.

''NO! Why did you do that!'' I scolded irritated by what happened because I left her kissing me again.

''My teasing?''

''Yes! NO! I mean your kiss!''

''Mou, you don't like it? '' She said, she put on an adorable hangdog expression.

''This isn't the problem!'' I barked annoyed, why was she always frivolous when things getting serious? It was boring and I hated when she do that.

''So you like it?'' I blushed furiously, and I put my hands on my face completely embarrassed by my involuntary redness, I absolutely had to do something about it!

''It seems that wasn't necessary to ask, I already have your answer.'' My niece laughed melodiously.

''Shizuru! Enough now, stop making fun of me because I started getting tired of your childish behavior, if you continue, I prefer to go now!'' I scolded exasperated; I was going to leave but my niece stayed in my way, preventing me from fled.

''Shizuru! Get away, you're in my way! I have not time to lose with your pranks!''

''No, don't go, I'm begging you. I'll be serious, I'm promise. It's been over a year I expected this moment, so please listen to me.''

'' What do you mean by more than one year? What are you talking about?'' I asked puzzled.

''Do you remember the time I asked you in the law firm if you loved me, and you said no.''

''... I guess,'' I replied uncomfortable with these painful memories we shared.

''Do you still love me?'' Wait ... What? ... How? ... WHAT! Wait a minute! Did I have missed an episode? She told me that I had rejected and she asked me if I still love her today. I was totally lost, it confirmed what I thought from the beginning, my niece went nuts. Or maybe it was me?

''What?'' I replied incredulously.

''Natsuki, do you really think I believed you when you told me that you had no feelings for me and you could never love me?'' The daughter of my half-sister said crossing her arms. Of course, it was obvious I was thinking it.

''You said these words but you lied and I saw it in your eyes and your behavior, you remember when you told me I smiled a certain way to hide my pain.''

''Yes…''

''You avoid your gaze when you lie and you have also other tic but I won't show because you're not going to use it.'' What! This is not true! I didn't even know! I'm so messed up!

''Don't continue, you hardly know me, you've just seen me once.'' I argued.

''Really? Then look straight in my eyes and tell me you don't love me, I will leave you alone and I will accept to marry Yuuichi and go with him to the United States.'' Go Natsuki! Tell her that you didn't like her, go ahead; it's only three miserable and pathetic little words. There was more difficult to say. As: Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings. Easy! Now the other sentence.

''I don't…love you...'' I pounced uncomfortable looking away toward the ground! It wasn't great; honestly, I didn't believe it myself, then what about my niece?

''I love you too my Natsuki.'' Fujino replied with a warm smile.

I became totally scarlet and my heart skipped a beat when I heard these words, anxious I left my niece because she advanced towards me like a predator would pounce on its prey. And unfortunately it seems I was the victim, I couldn't stay, I had to leave or I'll never have the courage. But why I had to flee? I didn't understand… it was the second time I reacted this way when she was with me.

''Natsuki Kuga, would you marry me?'' She just proposed me in marriage? Grabbing my hands in hers, I hardly swallow my saliva, which made me cough uncontrollably. Tears were in my eyes because of this hard cough that I couldn't stop. Concerned, my niece gently patted my back, but I continued to cough. I probably not heard correctly.

''You probably mean, you want me to go with you as a bridesmaid at the altar when you get married?'' I rectified arching one of my eyebrows.

''No, I want you as my future wife stay with me front of the priest.'' Since when I didn't understand this conversation. We spoke the same language, right? Maybe it was her accent?

''And your fiancé, you don't have to marry him ''

''I'm not in love with him and he's gay.''

''Gay? He's gay? You mean homosexual or he likes boys.'' I said utterly shocked.

''Yes, it's exactly the definition, bravo!''

''It's not funny.'' I groaned.

''Kannin na but it was too tempting. I know his boyfriend, his name is Kanzaki Reito, he is very charming, he's also one of my closest friends, they are really cute together.''

''He- He- He... likes boys? And you know it?'' I stuttered.

''Of course.''

''Why are you gonna marry him?'' I asked mystified by her unfazed reaction. There's no denying this girl is strange, she knew her husband is gay and in addition she knew his boyfriend, and it doesn't matter to her. She accepted? I hope they weren't a threesome? Oh my god! They didn't use her for their game or to have a baby. I didn't want to think about it! She wanted to kill me, telling me all these information. I wasn't sure I can't take it anymore.

''It's an arranged marriage by your grandmother; Tate is the son of a wealthy business person in the pharmaceutical industry.'' This old witch could even sell her own mother to earn money. I groaned inwardly.

''Do you love him or have some feelings for him?'' I inquired shyly.

''No.''

''Why did you accept this crap if you knew your fiancé liked boys, and you don't like him?''

''I haven't for the moment accepted the engagement ... I only know just a few days, I wanted to confirm something before taking such a decision which would radically change my life. Something I hoped all these long months which seemed endless, and now I'm sure.'' She said smiling at me tenderly and I swallowed difficulty.

''What are you sure?'' I asked hesitantly because I was afraid of her answer.

''Ara, my feelings I had and I always have for you. And your feelings, I have no doubt now, you love me as much as I love you.''

''No, you're wrong.'' I answered, maybe a bit quickly; Fujino noticed it and sulked with a pout.

''Why you can't admit your own feelings Natsuki? I had several signs that showed me you feel more than love between an aunt and her niece to me because that's exactly what I feel for you.''

''Don't continue with your nonsense, I'm fed up.'' I replied uncomfortable.

''If you do not love me, push me back.''

She approached me and I took slowly a few steps back, too slowly because she was close enough to me, she looked at me with such love that disturbed me completely, my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode. She put her hands on the back of my neck and came closer from my lips. I could feel her warm breath gradually approaching my lips, which began to tense up.

''Shizuru... we can't ...'' I breathed painfully because she was so close, I tightened my lips between them and I closed my eyes to regain my composure.

''Ara why, because I'm a girl? Or I am your niece? Perhaps I'm 18? But I wait my majority to see you again.'' She answered painfully. Her body pressed mine, I could feel her heart beating rapidly, and her fingers stroked my neck.

''We always have six years apart, I'm 24 years old and you've 18, even if you aren't officially named Kuga, you stay one. And you will ruin your life by staying with me and dreaming a love that I could never give you.''

''You will never ruin my life, because I will be happy by your side, and you don't look your age... You seem younger. And your age never disturbed me; it's only you. I am a girl yes, perhaps you prefer someone more mature? '' I never thought about that.

''No! It has been a year since we... and I thought you have forgotten me already...'' As I should have done with you ...

''As you should have done with me?'' She repeated staring in my emeralds. Oh no! She already knew when I was lying now she could read my thoughts? I was in big trouble

''Natsuki doesn't swear.'' Shit! Now a teenager lectured me?

''Natsuki!''

''I didn't do anything! Also, I don't know what you're talking about.''

''Always deny your feelings Natsuki ... Like you said before, I experienced love, I went out with boys and girls as you have suggested, but I've never been able to love or give them what they wanted because I couldn't forget you. I fell like I cheating in you, it was weird because we weren't together, it my feelings I deceived. You were the only one who continually haunted my thoughts for the last few months, it was torturous to me, I can't stay away from you.''

''It's been a year and during that time you should have forgotten me, and live your own life and don't think about that impossible, and you already know why. I'm not going to repeat because I begin to get tired.''

''But it has no importance for me even now. Your age, whether you're a girl, my aunt or your past. I want you Natsuki Kuga and this from the beginning and I'll never change my mind, no matter your excuses you invoke.''

She approached my lips again, closing her eyes, my breathing became jerky and my heart began to accelerate, I wanted so badly to kiss her but my reason didn't want and I pushed her away before she could reach my lips, I can't thing like my niece. It was wrong that kind of relationship even she says otherwise. She looked at me with great sadness, I wanted to hug her and comfort her, but I can't' have this kind of gesture towards her.

''Natsuki ... why do you always reject me? I know you feel something for me. And you ruin everything with your hesitations. I know you love me and you could be both happy, but you're afraid to have happiness in your life ... it's sad, you'll end your life alone.''

'' ...'' I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing and I avoided her intensive gaze.

''Natsuki is what you truly want? Never see me in your life? That I disappear? Because if it what you really want then I'll never bother with my feelings and I will agree to marry Yuuchi. It doesn't matter to you that I am with someone else other than you?'' She questioned grabbing my hands and putting on her cheek and she began to kiss them, she looked at me waiting a response from me.

'' ...'' I didn't answer because I didn't know what I wanted myself, I forced myself to forget her but I couldn't do it, is it love? I didn't know what to do; I was lost and totally scared to open myself.

''I think I understand your silence Natsuki, I won't bother you anymore. And you don't have to come to my wedding because I know you won't come no matter what.''

I saw the same smile in the law firm that disturbed me; she kissed me on the cheek, and added:

''Farewell Natsuki.''

N/A: Next chapter will be the last one. I also have an alternative ending with Shizuru weeding, but I too lazy to translate^^'. Thanks for your review and following me, I love you all.