This prompt is for killercroc. This is definitely one of the more interesting prompts I've gotten, and really not one I was expecting. Its also probably one of the more challenging prompts I've written, not counting the Purple Sparrow, which was only hard because of the OOC elements inherent in the makeup of that prompt. Highlighting the disparity between Tali and Xen is something I've wanted to explore for a while, and this prompt has provided the perfect avenue for it. I hope you enjoy.
Tali'Zorah was convinced she hated Daro'Xen.
As she stood beside the Normandy's war room table, three-fingered hands dancing across the interface as she pulled up engineering and tactical reports from the Battle for Rannoch, she couldn't help but ponder her thoughts on the woman. If she was being fair, she hadn't known her fellow admiral for very long: in fact, Daro'Xen's tenure as admiral wasn't that much longer than Tali's, as she had only risen to the position shortly after the failed raid on Haestrom over eight months ago, during the Collector campaign. That didn't mean Xen was a rookie by any means: she fit into the position as Admiral of Special Projects quite snugly, taking up the role almost as if it had been hand woven just for her.
That wasn't the problem. Daro'Xen had built quite the reputation on the Migrant Fleet, and for good reason. Unlike the other admirals, who had political motivations driven by emotion, Xen was driven by a cold, logical pragmatism that left little room for other, non-occupational activities. Her fascination with 'reenslaving' the geth was well known, and hardly kept a secret, and that was essentially the blueprint of Xen's endgame. She would not stop until she had exerted control over the geth. But while it had seemed like an ambitious undertaking done for the sole purpose of elevating her to the status of a prestigious champion of the people, there was the underlying feeling that Xen did this for her people. That, under her cold exterior, she truly did care about returning her species to their homeworld, and that she felt as much of a spiritual connection to the planet as the other admirals did: she just did a better job at hiding it.
That wasn't why Tali hated her. She hated her indifferent attitude towards everything. If she really did care about the quarian people, she seemed to have a funny way of showing it. For instance, she had caught Xen carelessly disregarding civilian ships under fire and requiring assistance, simply because she had an opportunity to capture geth technology. Never mind that a ship with hundreds of civilians onboard was about to be killed: Xen must get her hands on geth technology. Perhaps if the decision had been more deeply thought about, then Tali wouldn't have found fault: but it was the fact that Xen had done so quickly and impassively that she had been angered by. Tali had ultimately managed to convince Xen to save the civilian ships, but Xen's reaction was most telling: she had found the venture to be annoying.
She had found saving civilian ships to be annoying.
Tali tensed up, finding herself gripping her console tightly as her thoughts almost completely diverted to her hatred of the woman. What didn't help was that Xen was so indifferent and smug about everything, all at the same time. She had a unique way of combining wisenheimer personality traits with cold logic. Xen could defeat Tali's arguments simply by playing to logic, and it was something that infuriated Tali because not only did her arguments make sense, they ultimately, at least sometimes, forced her to agree to things she would have found ethically objectionable. It didn't help the sense that Tali was being pushed around: she knew she wasn't a proper admiral, and that none of the other admirals would really take her seriously, much less Xen. Her position was that of formality, not practicality. She was simply filling the spot until somebody else could. And Xen knew that, and made sure to constantly remind Tali as such as she destroyed her emotional arguments with ruthless calcalus and indifference. It was times like that where she would enjoy the few victories she got over the woman, however small they may be.
She made sure to look up ever so slightly, allowing her to see the admiral in question standing opposite her console just under the ceiling of her peripheral vision. The woman was focused solely on her work, datapad in one hand while her other one typed at the console intermittently, eyes darting from console to datapad just as sporadically as she absorbed data at a quick pace. That was another thing that irked her: Xen's intelligence. It would be so much easier to defeat Xen if she were someone with flawed reasoning. But Xen's arguments were not only compelling and backed up with evidence, but she was often right when disseminating findings. Tali was not stupid by any means, even she could admit that, but that just made Xen all the more worthy adversary. Someone just as intelligent as her, but with the experience to augment just enough to leave Tali flustered and grasping for a foothold.
It was times like that where Tali simply felt out of place. She didn't want to be an admiral: she wanted to command an engineering section, where she belonged. Her place was keeping the drive core of a starship in working condition, whilst also providing tech support in ground combat with her drone and shotgun. Making her an Admiral was like taking a pilot from the flight seat and dumping them in a sterile, stationary office on some planet.
I believe the human expression is...'fish out of water'.
Xen was the exact opposite. She was in her element. Being an Admiral was exactly where she should be, giving her the tools and resources needed to fund and resource her ambitious projects. She had a keen mind, a ravenous hunger for any and all information that would further her objectives, and a relentless spirit to ensure her plans succeeded. She was right where she belonged, while Tali stood in stark contrast to the other admirals. She didn't belong here.
But despite all of that, Tali still hated Daro'Xen. Her cold logic often led to the sacrifice of many good men and women simply so she could enhance her own standing position. The raid on Haestrom had been an orchestration of hers, hoping to gain information on Dholen and the dark energy consumption so she could learn whether or not it was the result of a geth superweapon. She didn't care how many marines she had to sacrifice to do it: just as long as the ends justified the means. She cared not for the life she willingly sacrificed, so long as the data gained was deemed to be 'worth it'. Her smug attitude at casually blurting out the true nature of Tali's trial all those months ago, like it didn't even matter to her, was another tick against her. Having to sit in admiralty meetings and listen to the admiral go on and on about her plans regarding the geth, postulating that they were still little more than lifeless machines, despite evidence to the contrary as a result of the data Shepard had given her during her pilgrimage. Every encounter made Tali hate the woman just that little bit more.
Xen was no fan of her either. She made sure to constantly remind Tali that her position was just a formality, and made sure to end discussions with condescending, dismissive statements that either contained hidden truths or were meant to spite her. She went out of her way to question many of Tali's opinions and decisions, to the point of actively calling her out. She had called Tali an 'idiot' on more than a few occasions, and didn't hesitate to humiliate or call her out. It was clear to anyone who paid enough attention to the two that they mutually despised each other. And yet, as admirals, they were often forced to work together.
And Tali hated it.
Luckily for them both, the escalation and simultaneous stagnation of the Second Morning War had left them too busy to bother verbally insulting or attacking each other. They had to work together, and they had accepted that, and put their differences aside (mostly) to further that goal. With the Migrant Fleet at the precipice at victory, but forced to retreat due to Reaper intervention, the price for their vigilance was to force themselves to acknowledge the other as a work colleague. As such, they were maintaining a feigned tolerance of the other. Tali mostly ignored Xen, and Xen mostly ignored her. It worked...for the most part.
"Status on the Heflah?" Xen suddenly requested. She didn't even look up at Tali, staring at her console as she waited for a reply. Tali was quick to do so, scrolling through and finding the relevant information in seconds.
"Maintaining steady orbit near the Shellen. A geth frigate attempted to make a pass, but combined fire from the De'flen and Orimo forced it to retreat. Minimal damage to the Heflah, although they are reporting a slight dip in engine efficiency."
"That's tolerable," Xen replied smoothly, having mentally practiced her responses measurably. She fell silent again, returning to her work. Tali waited for a few seconds, in case she had wanted to follow up on the statement, but it quickly dawned on her that the admiral had only asked the question to see if Tali was paying attention and wanted to catch her offguard. It hadn't worked of course, but it had demonstrated that Xen was aware she was being watched by Tali. She shook her head, turning back to her console.
Damn bosh'tet. Should have seen that one coming.
It was times like this though, looking through the casualty reports from their latest failed assault over Rannoch, that she was thankful Shepard was here. Not just because she had missed him all these months, cut off from the rest of the galaxy and unable to message him or see if he was okay, but because when Shepard was around...she knew everything would be okay. He had a way of conquering totally unsalvageable situations. Of taking command where others couldn't fathom continuing. The moment he arrived was the moment the tide turned. With him here, she knew they would win.
It wasn't like she was reliant on him: quite the opposite. But when it came to diplomatic and tactical predicaments like this, it required an ardent military mind to deal with it. She didn't have that. She was an engineer, first and foremost, and her expertise was in tech. Authority over a battlefield...that was Shepard's affinity. Having him present felt like a weight lifted off her shoulders. A proper tactician to offer them sound advice instead of someone pretending to be an admiral for the sake of the masses.
I was never cut out for this. I don't know why they even bothered. Any captain in the Fleet would have been a better choice for admiral than me. The only reason I got chosen was because of my father, and because of my history with the geth and Shepard. I've got none of the other skills required to be an Admiral. And now I'm supposed to save 17 million people...keelah, why me...?
Still, she supposed the real reason she was happy about Shepard's arrival was that she finally had a shoulder to lean on, someone to confide in. While she loved her Aunt Shala, the fact she was also an admiral with a fleet under her command meant that venting her stress on the woman would only add to her own issues to worry about. With Shepard...she knew she could impart her stresses and pressures onto him and he would silently listen (as he always did), and then offer his own input. The fact that he was currently going through a similar situation with the UGC and the Reapers meant he not only understood, but could relate. They had spent the first night upon their reunion simply sharing their thoughts and feelings on the wars they were fighting, and by the end, she had felt much better. Tension easing away, giving way to relief. Relief that Shepard was here now, and that with him here, they could finally begin to make progress.
She must have slipped into a trance, because a moment later, she could hear Xen's voice slipping across the room to reach her auditory emulators, jolting her from the reverie. Blinking several times to rid her eyes of the myopic dissolution of her daydream, she tried to hide the fact she had flinched by slowly looking up to face the older admiral, who was staring across the table straight at her. Her focus centered, allowing her to make out the quarian far more astutely than she could before, despite the intense bluelight of the war table.
"Daydreaming, were we?" Xen quipped, managing to sound both amused and insouciant at the same time. It was a mixture Tali was accustomed to seeing in Xen, but it still irked her anyway. It was just so difficult to tell if the admiral was amused or not. Or perhaps Tali was just hearing what she wanted to hear?
She snorted, "Not at all, admiral. I was thinking." She made a show of turning back to her console screen, hoping that would be the end of the conversation, as it so often was. Xen would make an offhand comment if the mood struck her, but otherwise she too would casually forget the conversation and return to her. She was an unpredictable enigma when it came to these things.
Xen wasn't convinced by Tali's answer however, placing her datapad down on the table as she now turned her full attention to her younger compatriot, an act of which somewhat surprised Tali, as she wasn't usually quick to drop her work to focus on someone she viewed as 'inconsequential' as Tali. So surprised, she actually looked up as the admiral spoke, "There was clearly more to your thoughts than thinking, Tali. You seemed...very distracted."
There it was again: another of Xen's cheap, but elusive, ploys to goad her into angrily lashing out. Xen would often, at least when they were alone, refuse to acknowledge Tali by her rank as befit her station, and would often refer to her unprofessionally as just 'Tali'. It was simply Xen's way of stating, without actually saying so, that she didn't recognize her as an admiral, nor the authority she carried with that title. However, Tali was quite used to Xen's schemes by this point, and she carefully dodged it, but gritted her teeth as she responded, "Like I said, I was thinking. The Shellen is one of our liveships and is far too close to the front lines. I was wondering if perhaps Admiral Gerrel could be convinced to allow it to-"
Xen wasn't falling for it, "No doubt your thoughts lingered on your commander."
Tali stopped dead in her tracks, completely bewildered by Xen's sudden declaration. She blinked once, trying to regain her mental bearings, but found herself for at least a couple seconds without anything to say, which proved to be a mistake: hesitation and/or silence is often a confirmation in and of itself. How does she...? No, I was very careful to keep my relationship with Shepard a secret from the admirals. No, there must be another explanation. Perhaps she means...something else?
Trying to gauge exactly what Xen knew, Tali decided to use the admiral's own tactics against her: she probed for information, "Yes, they have been. Shepard has been very helpful in helping us beat back the geth. The operation to cripple the geth super-dreadnought was only successful because of his timely intervention. And as I understand it, he'll seen be returning from rescuing Admiral Koris. None of these strikes would be possible without him. I was just thinking how lucky our people are to have an ally such as him." She had been careful not to drop Shepard's first name as she often did with him, as it denoted familiarity that she knew Xen's intellect would pick apart in seconds.
The admiral's eyes narrowed, and she braced her arms against the table. Tali stiffened slightly at the sight, arms crossing, "Yes...and I'm sure you've been having him in many different ways yourself, Tali."
She really does know. Keelah, does the rest of the admiralty know? Or is this just Xen's powers of deduction at work? No, that must be it. Shepard and I have been careful not to show our feelings infront of them. We were absolutely thorough. Xen must have figured it out on her own. Not too far fetched. Regardless of being found out, Tali couldn't help but keep up the facade anyway. Her eyes narrowed into slits as she too braced against the table, glaring at Xen, "I believe you're trying to tell me something, Daro. Out with it." Used her first name too. Take that, you bitch.
Xen seemed somewhat perturbed at that, but managed to recompose herself quickly. Still, Tali could smile a tiny bit at her miniscule victory, "Oh, come now, Tali. Do not insult my intelligence...your relationship with the commander is quite obvious. You have not been doing a good job at hiding it."
Well, no point in denying it any further. She's got me. Licking her lips, she simply quirked an eyebrow up at the more mature admiral, "I don't see that its any of your business who I have a relationship with, Daro. Perhaps you pay too much attention to things that are outside of your scope of influence."
Her laugh was a light, but a sweet parody of mirth, causing Tali to tense up like a viper in anger as Xen was left totally unaffected by her assertion, "I didn't make it my business, Tali. I simply find it amusing the lengths you will go to keep it secret. If I was in a relationship with such a prime example of the male gender...I do not believe I would be able to keep it undisclosed."
Now that was not the answer Tali had expected...at all. So much so she had to cock her head at the admiral, letting her smokescreen of defiance slip and give way to confusion. Of all the things she had expected Xen to say about Shepard, and her relationship with him...she hadn't expected something reminiscent of envy. And make no mistake, she had definitely heard that in Xen's tone. Jealously didn't befit the admiral, but there was no doubt she was envious. Despite this, however, in a deliberate measure of spite, she leaned forward slightly, her voice low and wispy as she drew the conversation in, trying to keep it contained between them and not open to the officers on the surrounding level to observe, "Xen...do I detect jealously in your voice?"
For a split second, a minute fracture in time, Tali saw what amounted to a flash of frustration in Xen's form. She had tensed up, her fingers gripping the console more tightly, Xen's eyes narrowing into the distinct slits of vehemence. But then it disappeared, evaporating into the aether, replaced by the calm and confident form of the admiral she knew, "Of course not, child. I simply...congratulate you. While I find it surprising such a man as Shepard would waste his time with a puerile, naive adolescent masquerading as an admiral, I do not begrieve him the ability to choose whatever mate he chooses. A man of his reputation has earned that right."
Wow...she really is envious. I could almost detect a sort of...anger in her voice. I never knew she felt this way about Shepard. Keelah. However, Tali hadn't taken kindly to being insulted in such a manner, and hissed at her through clenched teeth, her voice beginning to raise as she finally allowed the admiral to get to her, "Daro, I'll have you know that Shepard chose me because-"
"You mentioned me?"
The two quarian women turned to address the newcomer in the room, and found none other than the topic of discussion standing at the top of the stairs, looking down on them. He had likely just finished getting undressed in his cabin (their cabin) as he was wearing a basic blue and black shirt, cargo pants and a cap. His hands were clasped behind his back, having just walked through the door and having heard his name mentioned, staring down at them as he awaited an answer. After a moment however, she realized his look was centered on her, not Xen, awaiting an answer. She smiled, leaning back and crossing her arms.
"We were just discussing-"
"-your relationship," Xen course corrected, totally overriding Tali's attempt to redirect the conversation away from what they were previously discussing. Eyes widening in surprise, she whirled to face the quarian admiral, wondering what she was up to. It was clear Xen was dedicated to forcing this discussion now, as she turned to face Shepard fully, her own arms crossed.
Descending the steps and frowning, Shepard gazed between the two of them with a measure of confusion. His gaze lingered on Tali, eyes probing for an explanation to this, but she simply shook her head, willing him not to continue, but knowing that the floodgates had been opened. And once they were opened...
He turned to Xen, nodding with a slight hint of a smile, "Our relationship? You mean Tali and I? And why exactly would that be a topic of discussion?" That last part was clearly meant for Tali, an expression of confusion as to why somebody who had been adamant about keeping their relationship a secret to the admirals was now openly discussing it with the admiral she hated the most. He could be forgiven for that.
Xen just nodded, "Yes, I was just telling Tali here how poorly hidden your relationship was. And that I don't quite understand why it was kept secret in the first place."
"For the Fleet," both Shepard and Tali answered simultaneously. They shot to look at each other instantly, before both turning back to Xen, the quarian engineer blushing intensely. Finishing each other's sentences right infront of another admiral was not exactly the best way to defuse this situation.
"Ah," the admiral replied wearily, as if bored by the answer and finding it dull and uninteresting, "The age old excuse that every quarian in the Fleet uses to justify themselves. Still, I don't think I could keep a relationship with a man like you secret for very long. Quite the opposite, in fact."
"Oh?" Shepard asked, having no idea what he was getting into as he asked that question, failing to notice Tali's signal for him to abort, "You sound like you're trying to say something about me, Admiral Xen."
There was a low sigh of exasperation, "Don't be so obtuse, commander. You are one of the most desirable men in the galaxy, trascending species, in fact. But everybody has different reasons for wanting you, as well. I would be...lying, if I didn't find a certain alluring quality in you as well, Commander Shepard."
Shepard seemed speechless, and simply stood there as Xen's rhetoric continued, Tali watching the admiral with a sense of growing disbelief. The Xen she was looking at now was unlike any other time she had seen the woman. Gone was the indifferent and cold exterior she held up so fervently, replaced by the admiral's version of 'pouring her heart' out. It was both nauseating and interesting to watch, "I will be the first to admit it, I did not like you the first time we met. I thought you were just like Tali: naive, incongruent and a white knight. The wave she had described you in the past had left me no room to see anything else. But then of course I listened to you perform during the trial: you crafted a speech that I found both compelling and powerful. Your ability to play to a crowd and utilize their emotions as a weapon for your arguments was intriguing. And then after I inspected the damage on the Alarei personally...and saw all the geth you killed...I'll admit, I was very impressed."
"Where are you going with this, Xen-" Tali tried to interrupt, only for Xen to ignore her and go right over the top of her, cutting her off near totally.
"I've done my research on you, commander," Xen admitted, beginning to circle around Shepard like someone who was examining a prized specimen in an observation chamber. Considering Xen's demeanour and personality, this seemed totally in line with who she was, "The Lion of Elysium, they call you. Hero of the Citadel. Your actions against the geth...very impressive. Getting Saren Arterius, the Council's best Spectre to kill himself...fascinating. And I heard you died...and came back to life. Only to wipe out the Collectors. And then the Shadow Broker. There is something to be said about your efficiency, Shepard. In fact, I find you and I are quite alike."
Shepard was intrigued by that, "Really? How so?"
"Simple," she pursued, "You and I both see the real picture. You see a goal, and you reach out and achieve it. You don't allow others to dictate what you do: you reach out and seize the day. When your enemies get in your way, you destroy them. If an objective is blocked by an obstacle, you remove the obstacle and continue, unrelenting. In this, you and I are the same. I will stop at nothing to put my people back on the homeworld, and to returning the geth to their rightful masters. And you will stop at nothing to secure your alliance to retake Earth. We are not different at all. We have different methods, oh yes, but in our motives and behaviour...you will find us very similar."
Tali couldn't believe what she was hearing. This...bitch...this hagar'ritz...was not only trying to compare the two, but she was, simultaneously, trying to seduce him! Tali, being a quarian, could easily notice the warning signs that Shepard couldn't: movement of the hands, how she eyed his body, how she circled him like a predator stalking its prey...the warning signs were all there. She didn't know what game Xen was playing, but she was putting a stop to it...right now. She was not going to stand by while Xen had her way with Shepard! She knew he could handle himself, but this act was meant as a direct insult to her. She would not stand for it.
She stepped around the table, waving an accusing finger at the admiral, "You and John are nothing alike!" she spat, causing Xen's full attention to focus on her, "You experimented on your childhood toys! You are a complete psycho! You care nothing for sacrificing the lives of countless men and women to get what you want! You would do whatever it takes to obtain your goal! John would never do that! He goes out of his way to save people. On Feros, he went in alone to minimize friendly fire, and then didn't even fire a single shot! He refused to use his weapons because he was afraid one wrong move would end with a civilian dead...he goes out of his way to save lives! You don't give a second thought to wasting them!"
Shepard, seeing where this was going, tried to diffuse the situation, "Admirals, can we keep this ci-"
Xen wasn't having any of it, "All you've done is affirmed my belief that we're alike, Tali. Shepard is a man of principle. His actions on Feros show he has an indomitable spirit. He will do whatever it takes to accomplish his mission. Its something many of my would-be suitors have lacked. A lack of it bores me, but with Shepard...it has been a while since a man of this calibre has interested me. Taking a detour to save civilians is not something I would have done, but the fact that Shepard did so only demonstrates to me how much conviction he has. Have I shown any less conviction in our war with the geth? Have my countermeasures not significantly lessened casualties within our Civilian Fleet?"
"Ladies, we really should-"
"That's not even comparable!" Tali shouted, "John has morals. Its something you do not have! He is a good man, where as you are cold, heartless and unscrupulous!"
Xen laughed slightly, finally moving away from Shepard to stand infront of him, arms crossed and looking at Tali, "Please child, you do yourself no favours. The fact that Shepard sees anything in you at all is something that puzzles me. You are weak, lacking conviction and frail."
"Now wait just a min-" Shepard tried to object, but Tali had already beaten him to it.
"Listen, you bosh'tet hagar'ritz be'ly, you don't know a damn thing about John. I love him because of what he really is: a man capable of excessive amounts of kindness. He is a warrior, a diplomat and a good man, all in one. He could have taken the data I had on Saren all those years ago, paid me for it and left: instead, he invited me to join his crew, despite having no proof I'd be helpful on the mission. He made a concerted effort to talk to the entire crew, regardless of their opinions or beliefs: even if he disagreed with them. He has had a marked effect on everyone he meets: I became a better soldier because of him. He turned a grizzled krogan mercenary in the leader of a people and someone I consider family. He turned a naive C-Sec officer looking for revenge in a skilled commander. That's why I love him. You want to know why he loves me? If I'm honest, I don't know. But I do know is that out of his entire crew, and all the women in the galaxy, he chose me. I've long since stopped questioning it, and if you want to, you can go right ahead. I don't care. I know John would never leave me, especially not for someone like you, so you might as well give up."
"Thank you, Tali. Now can we please end-"
Xen wasn't finished apparently, "Your infatuation with him is what probably pressured him into being with you. He requires a woman of conviction and strength, to compliment his own. A woman of efficiency and decisiveness. He deserves only the best, and I do not believe you fit that description. Perhaps you should consider stepping away and-"
"Okay, seriously, I've had enough of this ridiculous posturing from both of you," Shepard finally snapped, loudly enough that both women finally turned away from each other to face him. Arms crossed, they watched as Shepard came to stand between them, hands clasped behind his back and lips steeled in an expression of the seriousness that befit him. Confident they would both remain quiet and not start up the argument again, he cleared his throat, "Now look, I appreciate...the things...you have said about me."
He turned to Tali, eying her lovingly, "I love you, Tali, and that's not going to change. You may not always understand my reasons, but from the moment we started this relationship, I knew I was where I wanted to be. One day, you'll understand why. Xen believes you are frail and lacking conviction...I couldn't disagree more. Your selflessness and courageous actions on the old Normandy and the new...its part of what I found attractive in you. You were always willing to set aside your own feelings for the betterment of the mission. You're the best damn engineer I know. Everything about you, right down to your personal creed, is something I find inspiring. Xen couldn't be more wrong about you. I love you, and that's never going to change."
Tali felt immense warmth and happiness at hearing his words: a confirmation of how she felt about him, and her stern belief he would not leave her. She hadn't been worried that Xen would be successful in seducing him, more that she had even attempted it. It had seemed like a personal attack: an insult to her clan, first and foremost, and in ancient quarian history, she might have answered the challenge with personal combat. Luckily Shepard, as always, had deescalated the situation before it got that far.
However, she could see Shepard was still thinking about what to say next. Before she could ask what was on his mind, he suddenly turned towards Xen, acknowledging her next. However, what she heard next wasn't anger, but was in fact the same tone she had heard being used to address her, "Admiral, do not think what you said about me was taken lightly. I...appreciate that you feel that way, even if I don't reciprocate. I don't agree with what you said about Tali, and I'm certainly not about to say that you two should keep this professional. That's not up for me to decide. You're both admirals, and what you choose to discuss is your business. However, I will say this: I respect you as well, admiral. I don't always agree with your views, especially regarding the geth, but I can respect your drive and determination. You're a pragmatist at heart, and I'd be lying if I haven't had to adopt a similar line of thinking in the past. You're convinced of your purpose, and its hard not to respect that. I don't hate you, admiral, and I don't view you as a friend, but I can say that I approbate you. You're strong-willed and dogmatic, and I think anyone with any reasonable semblance of intelligence would be unable to resist being impressed."
Finally, for the first time since Tali had met and talked with Xen, the admiral was left speechless. She simply nodded to the commander's statement, demonstrating her approval with what he said, before falling silent. He looked between the two of them for a moment, and once he saw that their argument had been resolved, he spoke again, exhaling deeply, "Well, if that's that argument resolved, I've got some reports to read over in my cabin. I'm sure you two will not start arguing again the moment I leave the room?"
Tali shook her head, while Xen spoke up, "No commander, you've made your feelings quite apparent. Tali and I will remain...cordial, towards one another."
If she had said that any more stressfully, she might have shattered her teeth from gritting them so hard. It was clear Xen's opinion of Tali hadn't changed at all, simply that her advances on Shepard had been stalled completely and she was accepting this. To her credit, she was quick to adapt, and within moments she had returned to her console, picking up her datapad and wordlessly returning to work, no sign of reproachment in her posture. She looked totally unaffected.
Eying Xen for a minute longer than needed, Shepard finally turned to Tali and smiled, reaching up and kissing her on the hood, before pulling back, "What about you?"
She sighed, smiling, "I've worked with her this long, John. I think I can handle her, especially now that you've pulled her down a few rungs."
"You mean 'take down a peg.'"
"Whatever. You know what I mean."
He smiled warmly, before hugging her gently, "I know. I'll be up in my...our cabin, if you need me. Stop by later if you can."
"Sure. I'll do that."
After a brief embrace, he turned and left the room, doors closing behind him before Tali had even returned back to her console. She didn't let her own smugness radiate enough for Xen to pick up on it, because she knew ultimately the admiral would ignore it. Still, she felt a certain sense of victory rising in her, knowing Shepard had, right infront of Xen, reaffirmed his love for her and basically shot down Xen's advances.
Still, looking at Xen from where she was now, you wouldn't be able to tell. She simply returned to her work, looking totally unaffected. Almost as if the outcome hadn't actually bothered her at all. That she hadn't actually been trying to begin with.
Maybe it was just a social experiment to get me to spill my feelings for Shepard out in the open. Or maybe she was serious. Guess I'll never know.
Nor did she really care. All she knew was that she was happy Xen had been put in her place, and with that, she could continue her work in peace. Not only that, but now Xen's presence didn't bother her so much anymore.
She smiled, returning to work. We've got a war to win. Tonight...well, let's just say I'm definitely paying John a visit.
She was looking forward to it.
I hope this is what you wanted, killercroc. A prompt hasn't challenged me this hard mentally since the 'Purple Sparrow' prompt in terms of execution. Trying to articulate Xen and Tali's feelings for Shepard in a way that was characteristically adherent to their characters was difficult, and I felt I was really reaching towards the end. I've done multiple drafts of this, and while I'm still not entirely satisfied with it, I am convinced you will at least enjoy the final product anyway. Let me know what you think, especially you killercroc.
Up next is Chapter 4 of Equilibrium.
Keelah Se'lai, troopers!