A random parody of the Walking Dead and the reality TV show 'The Real World.' This is purely for humor and enjoyment and not to be taken seriously.
I do not own the 'Walking Dead' or the 'Real World'.
Garden Snake
Lively producer Lilly narrates what's to come on the latest episode of The Real World Walking Dead. "The cameras in the Walking Dead house roll day and night, they don't stop filming for anything, and a goldmine of action is caught on film."
In the middle of the night Daryl lets out a holler under his bed covers, "ouch! What you biting me for, you think yous a walker now huh?" Daryl teases as giggles from Michonne are heard before Daryl adds. "Do it again."
Merle holds up a flash light clicking it on and off as he aims it at Daryl and Michonne under the moving covers. "Clicky, clicky! What you doing under there baby brother?"
Beth sneaks into Daryl's room saying she wants a sleep over. Daryl folds the covers back shaking his head as Michonne sits up sighing. "Beth this aint a good time." He says.
Beth ignores Daryl and climbs into the bed, then snuggles in between Daryl and Michonne. Andrea comes in wanting to cuddle with Merle and Rick rushes in after her, needing Daryl's room to hide more supplies for the group.
"Naw, Naw everybody get out, get the beep out of here!" Daryl shouts.
Beth whines before she pets an angry Michonne's hair.
"I'm gettin' my beepin' crossbow and if all y'all aint out by the time I load it-"
"Haha, little bro's gettin hyper, must be all that brown sugar he's been lickin on all night." Merle makes a creepy tongue gesture towards Michonne who finally gets up and walks out of the room.
Daryl springs up to look for his crossbow.
"He always gets like this when he don't get to finish, should we leave you alone for the night Darline." Merle teased before everyone began to chuckle.
Carl pops out from under the bed and everyone is silent.
"Wait a minute, was Carl here the whole time?" Beth wondered out loud.
"Where's the candy-" Carl questions.
"If yah want some chocolate she just left." Merle yelled out before the boy shrugged and walked out of the room.
"I hate the beeping house." Daryl muttered.
A few hours later in the morning, Shane is at it again finding another excuse to butt heads with Rick.
"Alright Shane, you need to back off."
"Make me!" Shane puffed before getting into Rick's face. With a sigh, Rick moved Shane back a bit before Shane yelled out in pretend pain and threw himself against the wall, smashing the lamp and shelf in the process.
"I... but I barley touched him?" Rick said looking towards the cameraman recording the insolent.
"Ahh, did you see that, he attacked me and threw me against the wall, this man is dangerous and unstable!" Shane yells into the camera lens.
The camera points back at Rick who has his hands up defense. Suddenly, the sound of a loud bang from Shane forces the cameraman to look back at him and his suddenly bloody nose.
"See, he got the jump on me a punched me in the face!" Shane screams pointing to his nose.
Rick sighed off screen. "Now I know you're lying, I wasn't even near you that time." Frustrated with Shane, Rick can't get away soon enough.
Karen "The...?"
Karen walks intro the house taking a deep sigh of relief, thrilled to be away from the insane Phillip and some skinny brunette with a nagging for house work. She steps into the house seeing Rick walk past her. "Hey there, I'm Karen."
"Are you a producer or something? I already told that Lilly woman I don't have anymore weapons under my bed."
"No I'm the new roommate, Karen."
Rick just stares at her. "Ok? See you around Kathrine."
He walks off.
"Its Karen!" She yells back.
Some time later while out in the backyard, Rick pops his head out from the bushes, startling the couple hidden in the foliage.
"What the beep Rick, I nearly killed you-" Daryl says lowering his crossbow.
"Hey now, I know y'all are doing your thang, but don't roll into my crops... "
"Fine, whatever, just go!" Daryl rushes.
"This is my garden, and I ain't leavin, I'll give you two some privacy... but I aint done tending to the plants yet."
Rick pokes his head back in before Daryl pulls aside the bushes to see Rick gone.
"Where'd he go... man whatever?" Daryl sighs before grinning and grabbing Michonne, pulling her into a heated kiss.
hiss...hiss...hissss
Daryl pulls from the kiss. "Is that a snake?"
Michonne reaches for her katana then sighs hearing more hissing. "That aint no real snake, that's beeping Rick."
"Don't mind me I'm just a little garden snake... I protect the garden-"
"What the beep Rick, are you still hidden in the plants?!" Daryl questions.
"Naw, I'm one with the garden Daryl... I can never leave... now just get back to what you two were doing... hiss... hiss."
"Dammit Rick, you aint no damn snake!"
At the end of the day, Daryl and Michonne walk out into the backyard hand in hand. The two have had a long day with frustrating results but just being around each other puts a smile on their faces. Daryl takes a seat on one of the lawn chairs while Michonne makes herself comfortable on his lap. Its night out and the moon is full. Michonne leans her head against Daryl's smiling up at the sight while Daryl wraps his arms around Michonne holding his girl close.
Merle stumbles upon his baby brother in a quiet moment with Michonne and it gets him thinking about his relationship with Andrea.
"That's it woman, we done."
Andrea looks over at him showing how little she cares. "Done with what Merle?" she humors him.
"You and me. That's it. We aint in this relationship no more."
"Ok." She shrugs.
"What you mean, ok? That all I git, ok?!"
"Merle what did you think this was? I was only with you because I was bored."
A cameraman sneaks up behind a laughing Michonne and Daryl still out in the backyard together. The cameraman waves for the boom man to hurry up so that they can catch some audio.
"Daryl, how deep are we getting ourselves into with this."
Daryl gets a little nervous. "I'll go with whatever you want Chonne"
"I wanna know what you want."
"I don't want this to end."
Michonne smiles, "me either."
A loud gun shot is heard from the inside the house followed by a slue of profanities from Merle. Michonne gets up from Daryl's lap and runs into the house with him.
"Merle! Merle!" Daryl yells searching around the house with Michonne in toe, "I''ll check upstairs," she calls to Daryl who nods his head and rushes to check the downstairs rooms. Michonne searches through the hallway to see Andrea with a gun in her hands, "Andrea what did you do?"
Andrea happily jumps up and down seeing her friend. "Look Michonne I finally got a shot in."
Michonne then hears screaming and grunting and comes into view of Merle with a bullet in his arm.
Andrea's confessional. "Merle lost his goddam mind so I shot him. I don't know what else you want me to say. " Andrea says with an attitude. "He called me a whore and a rug muncher. He wanted to get shot."
Michonne and Andrea stare at Merle who's in complete agony while holding his bleeding arm. Andrea jumps seeing the newest housemate, "Meesh, who the hell is that?"
Michonne shrugs, "I don't know... she says she's the new roommate." Karen walks over to the two friends smiling with an attempt to introduce herself to Andrea.
"Andrea this is Kristen."
"Its Karen."
Michonne shrugs then walks off to get Daryl.
Carl walks out of his dad's room eating his pudding when he sees Karen walking down the hall. Carl pulls out his gun aiming it at Karen who jumps and puts her hands up, "Don't shoot!" She yells as Rick comes out of his room, "Carl... its alright, she's new to the group. Her name is Kelly."
Karen sighs and stomps her foot, "its Karen!"