"Gee, that trip sure took a while!" said Vanille, wiping her brow.

"I know!" replied a weary Hope, "it felt like we were on that airship for like a month and a half... hard to believe its only been about an hour."

"I know, right?"

Hope and Vanille were having a rest on the Archylte Steppe after their long voyage. A thin veil of morning mist covered the area and spots of flowers struggled to stay visible amist a sea of green that spread far as the eye could see.

Suddenly!

Hope found himself in a circular, (or what appeared to be circular) battlefield facing three of the maddest Gorgonopsi he had ever seen and a beast that he only saw in books and news reports where people had been mauled by them: a Behemoth King.

Or Queen, judging by it's nethers.

Hope stared in awe at the creature in front of him, in all its slobbering, bloodthristy, and violent glory. It was truly a marvel to behold as she split one of the smaller beasts in five using wicked claws and shaking another in its vicelike maw, its yelps of pain doing nothing to deter the Behemoth.

The shock from seeing the Behemoth tear apart two living creatures was met with equal oppisition when he turned toward Vanille, who had out a fishing pole. She was shaking her rump in a fashion that would be appealing to one if they were behind her, but sadly not in a way that would allow said person to see her "goods".

"Well don't just stand there!" she screamed, still wagging her behind the way a happy dog would. Not at all like a girl who was facing a monster ten times her size with a fishing pole.

Hope realized he had his boomerang out. Strange, considering it was in his bag and there was not a single place in his kakki shorts he could have placed it.

"What's going on here?" he asked as he got into his Boomerang Chucking Stance®.

"Its a battle Hope! Get into position!"

The Behemoth tossed away the tattered remains of the second Gorgonopsid and advanced on the third.

"Let's just run away!" cried a fearful Hope as the valiant Gorgonopsid fell in a blaze of glory.

"We can't! The Fal'cie Gilgamesh prevents it! We must fight like men!"

The Behemoth Queen reared round to look Hope straight in the eye. He stumbled from a great roar that left fresh bits of Gorgonopsid on his face.

"UH! OHHHH! EEP!" Vanille squealed and groaned in a way that would make most people embarassed if they had other people in the same room while listening, while she swung her fishing pole at the beast, the fishing line apparently going through it with no resistance.

Hope got to his feet while the Behemoth very graciously backed away. They may be animals, but damn if they aren't the most well mannered of things.

Vanille had stopped attacking for some reason while Hope chucked his boomerang with all his might! Which is to say, very little. It bounced much like it would if thrown against a wall or the hide of a Behemoth. Though this didn't stop Hope from trying four more times before having to rest.

Vanille had started flailing her arms about while moaning again. "I'm not all sunshine and rainbows!" she yelled for some odd reason.

The Behemoth charged at Hope with murder in its eyes, her teeth flashing from a stray sunbeam. She reared up and slashed the air where he had been only moments ago.

Hope had slowly shuffled about a meter over while waiting for a chance to attack again. Sure it wasn't an awesome backflip with a a gunshot in the middle, but it was what he had to work with.

A few minutes later...

Hope knew the battle was futile. They had been fighting way past the point where five stars was possible, and the potions and Phoenix downs Vanille was pulling out of nowhere couldn't possibly last forever, could they?

All of his will to fight was being drained away when out of the blue...

"Sora! I'll help you!" a high squeaky voice announced. The three turned to spot a small, black hooded figure. Did the hood have... mouse ears?

"Whoops!" the figure exclaimed, "sorry guys, wrong world!"

There was a flash of light, and it was gone.

Once again, as the spirit of life was ebbing away from Hope...

Out of seemingly nowhere a manly figure dropped from the sky shouting something and then "FIST!" as it dropped down on the Behemoth's skull with enough force to leave a small crater.

"Did somebody call a hero!" came the manly voice of a man wearing a long grey trenchcoat from behind a black mask that covered the area around his eyes but not the blonde stubble of the rest of his face.

"OHMYANIMA!" Vanille squealed in such a high pitch that the Behemoth howled in pain while other Gorganopsi and other nearby animals followed. "Its The Snowman!"

"The who?" asked a befuddled Hope.

"I don't listen to that kind of music, silly!" she replied as The Snowman preceeded to punch the Behemoth in the face.

"The Snowman is a great hero who always saves the pretty girls (and boys) from harm! He wears a mask to protect his secret identity and loved ones from harm! He has a whole crew of super heroes called NORA too!"

The Snowman had somehow gotten the Behemoth into a headlock and was playing "got your nose" with it.

"Vanille, you know that's clearly Snow, right? I mean, I met him like two days ago but I can tell its him. Look at his beanie and coat, no one dresses like that. His name even has "Snow" in it!"

"NO! We must never know the man behind the mask!"

"But-"

"Must. Never. Know."

He sighed, "Fine."

The Snowman grew tired of playing with the Behemoth and decided to suplex it SO hard it faded into nothingness. That may seem really manly, but there was once a man who suplexed a train SO hard it faded from existance.

And so the battle was won. Vanille did a little skip and folded up her pole, The Snowman clenched his fist in furious rage toward the heavens, and Hope quietly slippped his boomerang into his shorts. The only thing that would have made the moment better would be an awesome victory jingle that people would grow to love across twelve versions, but alas, there was no jingle jangle jingle.

A/N:

This was my first fight on the Steppe. Same party, same monsters. I wasn't expecting them to run around the place so it caught me by suprise.

You win no points for guessing The Snowman's true identity. Mostly because he may not be who you think he is, or even if he's a he.

Thanks to the people who were crazy enough to wait a month and a half for this. That's why its so crazy awesome!