PUSH
A Bleach Fanfic
1/26/10
Chapter 9
Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.
Author's note: I hit my 99th review today :| When I started this I couldn't imagin so many of you would love this. I didn't even know if i could finish it, but now i feel i can. Thank you so much :D I love you all! And just as an after thought, I drew an older Hitsugaya because i was inspired :) Check it out at natasharazi .deviantart .com .
***
Rangiku knew he'd come. A part of her felt guilty for having to use his innate sense of honor against him the way she did. It almost made her feel as if she was as bad as the others. Not giving him a choice, forcing him to do something he didn't want. But Rangiku took solace in the fact that she'd seen his eyes the night before. She'd felt his pulse jump under his skin. Her little captain might have become a man, but she was still Rangiku Matsumoto. She could read telltale hearts. Captain Hitsugaya might not have returned her tender feelings, but he was definitely feeling something. And that was the whole point.
Today she would finally have a chance to give him a choice.
He'd been busy with his work and trainings all day. She hadn't had time to confirm if he was in fact coming, but she'd sent a note telling him she'd meet him in their usual sparring spot.
The woods hadn't changed. The grass was still lush, the trees only whispering with the breeze. It was a quiet spot. Easily used for some privacy and for what Rangiku had him mind, she knew today – no one would hear him scream.
Mouth drifting up into a nefarious little grin, she stood in the clearing and waited.
***
Captain Ukitaki wasn't surprised to find Toushiro Hitsugaya standing beside him on the balcony of the academy where they'd finally finished their reports. "You look troubled my friend."
Toushiro seemed to teeter on the edge of speaking or remaining silent, but then he sighed. "I find myself repulsive."
Ukitake chuckled. "We all find ourselves a little repulsive now and then. But what's your cause for self loathing?"
"I'm caught between my honor and my desires."
A wave of sympathy went through Ukitake. They always kept forgetting that no matter how mature Toushiro was he was still young. "Between what you should do and what you want?"
"Yes."
"Sometimes it's doing what you want that keeps us alive."
"Is that your professional opinion?"
"No Toushiro; it is entirely too personal." Ukitake met those enigmatic teal green eyes.
"Are you mocking me?"
Shaking his head, Ukitake laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. The younger man seemed to be drowning beneath the weight of his thoughts. Ukitake took pity on him. "Never my friend, but it wouldn't hurt to take something for yourself now and then."
"Even if it goes against everything I believe?"
Joushiro's brow creased. "Is loving her really that painful?"
His head snapped around, eyes wide at Ukitake's blunt query. "Who are you talking about?"
"You tell me."
Eyes falling away, Toushiro contemplated his answer. Wincing he ran a hand through his unruly hair. "Depends on who you're talking about." Placing his elbows on the railing he leaned forward watching the laughing people coming in and out of the academy. Starting their lives. Sometimes Toushiro wondered about what all he'd missed when he'd been a child protégé. Maybe he had missed being a child. A teenager. "Loving Momo is like a finely honed knife. But," lifting his aqua eyes he swallowed thickly, "loving Matsumoto is like being tied upside-down to a hurtling train." Joushiro, thankfully didn't laugh. "Either way I'm going to bleed."
"I guess the question is how you want to bleed."
An snowy eyebrow arched. "No; the question is, how not to bleed at all."
Ukitake shrugged before mirroring his stance and looking out to the darkening horizon. "If you don't bleed at all Toushiro. How else will you realize you're alive?"
"I'll pinch myself."
"You're pinching yourself now. Is it working?"
Shoving himself away from the metal rail, the younger Captain crossed his arms moodily. "How very cryptic of you Joushiro. I really want to know the woman who did a number on you."
"Ahhh," the silver haired captain chuckled, a hand on his heart as he laughed. "If only there was one. But I see your dilemma. You want Matsumoto but you don't want to abandon Momo. You'll just have to find a way to keep both."
"How?"
"You're the genius. You'll come up with something."
Grumbling, Toushiro Hitsugaya picked up his white Captain's coat from where he'd discarded it during the time they'd been compiling results. "You're a lota help."
"I cannot help."
Toushiro paused in his departure to glance at Ukitake over his shoulder at the deliberately solemn tone. "Toushiro, you have a choice for the first time in your life. You have to make it alone."
This time the meaning was crystal clear. "She's not giving me a choice," he called back, knowing the woman in question was unquestionably his lieutenant.
"You're wrong my friend." Captain Ukitake's gaze was unflinching. "She's the only one giving you a choice."
Toushiro resisted the need to kick something. The trained him to be the perfect student all his life and now they expected him to play hooky.
***
He wasn't coming.
The sun had set hours ago. She'd sat there, plucking blades of grass while her mind drifted. It drifted over Gin, skated over how hard she'd tried to hold onto him. But every time she came back to the same answer. He'd left her. She'd always thought he could save her, but Toushiro was right. How could she save someone who didn't want to be saved?
Then she thought about Momo. Rangiku had fought beside the woman on countless occasions. The raven haired lieutenant had always been brilliant. She couldn't understand where Momo went wrong. Perhaps she had been in love with Aizen. Perhaps it was more than hero worship. Aizen had spent years messing with her head, but somewhere deep down, Rangiku knew that Momo understood just what Aizen had been. But Momo loved him despite all that. Sometimes love was like that.
For just a moment there in between Rangiku had felt horrified. What if Toushiro really did love the broken girl? Rangiku didn't fool herself into thinking that he merely tolerated her because they grew up together. She knew Toushiro had always felt something special for Momo, but he had been hurt. As had many others because of Aizen the bastard, Toushiro was another victim.
However, Toushiro Hitsugaya could be more than just a victim of the Winter War. Just as Rangiku was more than just a lieutenant, or a drinking buddy, or a soul reaper. She was a woman. That was the only reason she still remained in the clearing.
But now the sun would come up soon and Rangiku wondered if all the sake in the soul society could make the ache in her chest go away.
She had given him a choice and he'd made it.
She had to respect it and him.
With a lamenting little sigh, she rolled up to her feet. She wondered if Madarame was in the mood to get rip roaring drunk.
Rangiku walked back towards the trees when a blur of black and white landed before her in a neat crouch.
"How rude."
Her heart came apart and came together all in one breath when he straightened. It took her a moment to take in the man standing in front of her. His Captain's Coat over his arm, he stood there in their all black uniform, his hair catching into icy fire in the moonlight. She debated the wisdom of having this conversation where the moon could play such wicked tricks on his hair and skin. Tonight, she couldn't allow her control to slip.
When the usually verbose woman didn't speak, Toushiro raised a cocky, snowy eyebrow. "First I'm invited, and then I'm abandoned?"
"You?" Galvanized by his accusation at the odd confidence in his stance, Rangiku planted her hands on her hips. "I had thought you'd changed your mind and I'd have to spend the night getting drunk with Ikkaku."
His brow darkened. It troubled Toushiro that the notion struck all sorts of vengeful little chords in him. In fact, he had merry visions of breaking bones in case the unfortunate event did occur. This sort of possessiveness was new for the young Captain. It was downright unwelcome. "You were going to go get drunk?"
"Duh! You ditched me. I was distraught!"
He frowned, ignoring her rather obvious finger pointing. "With Madarame?"
An eyebrow arched, instantly intrigued. "Why? Does that bother you?"
"No."
"Really?"
"…"
"Wow," Rangiku's smile grew wider in awe. "It does bother you."
Scowling, Toushiro walked past her and deeper into the clearing. "Don't be ridiculous!"
The woman didn't bother muffling her delighted giggle. "Oh my god, Captain! I'm flattered! But you needn't worry." She winked when he glared at her over his shoulder. "You know I'm only hot for you."
"Matsumoto!" The eyebrow began to twitch already. "Will you kindly keep such news to yourself?"
"You made a woman wait for you till dawn; you have to take some bashing for it."
He was silent for a few seconds. "I wasn't going to come at all," he finally admitted.
To his horror the woman broke into exaggerated cheer, clapping her hands together gleefully. "Oh that makes me feel so much better."
With a grunt, he turned to gaze up at the lightening horizon. "And why should I have? You only mean to harass me further."
"Harass is such a dirty word. Do you know any more?"
Spinning around, he groaned. "Matsumoto, please!"
Then Toushiro nearly stumbled when in a single flash step, she was before him, her usually beguiling eyes entirely too seductive. "Anything you want," she offered huskily.
Struck dumb by her sudden change in demeanor at her proximity, he stared down at her like an idiot. "Ahh…what do you mean?"
"You said please."
"I…did?"
She nodded, eyes blatantly flirting with his. "What would please you?"
Hell. How was he supposed to answer that without provoking her further? But then he noticed the way her lips were so pink. Pink and inviting. He didn't realize it as he licked his own and swallowed thickly. It was when her mouth twitched with silent laughter that he jerked away from her with a glare. "Stop it. I'm stronger than this."
Sometimes Toushiro Hitsugaya made Rangiku Matsumoto want to scream. And not in a good way. "I'd like to think you're stronger for this," she corrected him with a sigh. "Come on Captain Hitsugaya, tell me what's on your mind. I promised we'd talk today and we will."
"I don't want to talk."
"Then why are you here?"
At the quick challenging question, he felt his blood begin to heat. "This was a bad idea," he muttered quickly and headed back towards the trees.
"Stop!"
Pausing in his flight, the man turned slowly. Deliberately. Incredulously. One snowy eyebrow raised at the sharp tone of her voice. "That sounded like a command."
Her smirk was wicked. "It was."
His brow darkened. "Do you realize who you're talking to?"
"Of course I do," she reassured him, once again in her musical manner. Joining her hands together piously, she offered him a safe smile. It did nothing to reassure him. "Which is why, I had already anticipated that you would try to escape."
For a moment he thought he'd heard her wrong. "Escape?"
"Exactly!" The woman looked positively gleeful. "So I prepared ahead. Of course if you hadn't shown up, it would have been all in vain, but you're here and that's enough for me." All red flags inside Toushiro's head went up in arms as the woman planted her hands on her waist indomitably. "You Captain Hitsugaya have been issued the day of tomorrow and are to be immediately kidnapped for your own good."
His mouth dropped open. "Matsumoto, have you been in the sake already?"
"I understand that this may be a little troubling, but I have taken the liberty of sealing your spiritual pressure with Kidou for the remainder of the day."
"You what!?" He took a threatening step forward, having merry visions of throttling her, but sure enough, his limbs were heavier and he realized why he'd felt so unbalanced when he'd stepped into the clearing. It wasn't Matsumoto, it was her mojo! "Rangiku, I demand that yoUAWO!" Something stung him at the back of his neck and he slapped a hand over it. Pulling away the offending thing he was shocked to find a tiny, feathered needle between his fingers. He stared at the bright pink feather then raised horrified eyes to his smug lieutenant. "Matsumoto, I'm going to ki…" But before he could issue the threat swimming in his head, he felt his world spin out of control. Something soft and lush wrapped around him, but Captain Hitsugaya was already disappearing into darkness.
***
To be Continued…