Pandora: The Final Solution

by Tisrusewa Karyu

When the ISV Venture Star reports that Hell's Gate has fallen to a coalition of Avatars and Na'vi, the entire RDA organization springs into action to save their cash cow. The lowest cost solution has unforeseen consequences. Irayo.

10. Chapter 10: Jake & Neytiri - Part 4

Pandora: The Final Solution

I gratefully acknowledge one of the foremost creative geniuses of our times, James Cameron, for conceiving the lush moon Pandora and the "noble savages," the Na'vi, that inhabit it. This story uses the characters and setting he created for his movie, Avatar. I have not received any money for my work based on Avatar. If I could get paid by the hour for these stories, I would retire and spend all my time dancing and writing in comfort.

Chapter 10: Jake & Neytiri – Part 4

Jake is baffled, both by Neytiri's behavior and by what his response should be. He doesn't want to upset her again, but she is flooding him with overpowering emotions, mostly pain, sorrow, and remorse. He has done his best to ratchet down most of this deluge, but thinks shutting it down completely is probably the wrong thing to do. He lets some through and simply endures it. Neytiri eventually cries herself out on Jake's shoulder. Once she calms down and relaxes, Jake asks through the bond "What was that all about?"

She silently replies "I will answer when I am ready. Let me show you the day you came into my life first." She slides off his shoulder onto her side, and he rolls on his side to face her again. She snuggles into his arms, and they wrap their arms and tails around each other, holding each other tight. She sends her memories to him through the bond.

Neytiri is standing quietly with her mother and the leaders of the healers, food preparers, and weavers. The rest are sitting the Na'vi way around her father. He is talking with the leader of the hunters and the deputy in charge of hunter training, and Tsu'tey and other several deputy hunters and warriors are listening intently. Jake recognizes this as Eytukan's morning meeting to plan the activities for today, determining which foodstuffs and other items are needed and where to send the hunters and gatherers to obtain them. To Jake, everyone seems happy and relaxed, food must be plentiful and there must be no pressing needs. The discussion is about a large herd of yerik that is working its way towards Hometree. The leader of the hunters has kept the experienced hunters away from this herd, and has used the ikran riders to nudge it closer from behind. Now, the deputy for hunter training thinks they are close enough to take the youngest hunters out to the herd for training, pairing each with an experienced hunter. There may not be many kills today, but that will not matter. The leader of the food preparers has reported plenty of food reserves. The gatherers found a huge nest of teylu yesterday, and today are collecting what they need for the evening meal. Everyone is in agreement without objections, so Eytukan approves the proposed training plan, thanks the training deputy, and the meeting breaks up.

Mo'at looks to Neytiri, and asks "What are your plans for today?"

Neytiri looks to her mother, and without thinking, replies "I think I'll take Seze out, in the opposite direction from the training hunts."

Both her father and the leader of the hunters look up at her. Her father softly says "You have been flying off every day. Maybe you should let Seze rest today."

The leader of the hunters adds "You don't want to lose your stalking skills. You don't have to hunt today, but if you do go out, you should go on foot."

Neytiri immediately makes one of her displeased faces, but knows in her heart they are right. All new ikran riders must ride every day to train their ikran, but lose some ground skills in the process. She remembers her frustration the first time she hunted without Seze and made some silly mistakes. She has been riding Seze for several years now, but still wants to fly every day. To everyone's relief, her face changes and she answers "Sorry, you are right. I love flying with Seze, and sometimes I forget." She looks to her mother and asks "Do you need me for anything today?"

"No, ma 'ite. Things are quiet right now. Enjoy your time in the forest communing with Eywa's children."

Her father looks to her with concern on his face. "If you go the opposite way from the youngest hunters, you will be near the tawtute school. If you see any tawtute, stay away from them and come back right away."

She nods to him. "Yes, ma sempul. I hope to find Graceaugustine there alone some day. I miss her and want to talk to her again. But I will come back if I see any tawtute. I need to take some food up to Seze first, and then head out. I will try to be back before nightfall, or sooner if I make a kill. I like teylu." She smiles as her parents and the others smile back and depart to their duties.

Neytiri gets some raw meat and takes it to Seze up in the canopy of Hometree. After saying goodbye, she heads back down to the food preparers, and tightly seals traveling food into a leather bag that she ties to her waist, on her hip opposite from her knife. She checks her bow and arrows, and heads down the trail towards the old schoolhouse.

Neytiri trots to the school. It is outside the patrolled area near Hometree, but is close enough that the trail is generally safe and free of predators. She is shocked at what she sees. The building is falling apart as the forest is reclaiming the space. She climbs the stairs and stands in the doorway. She looks around the unkempt interior but does not enter. She thinks about cleaning it up, but touches nothing, not even the books lying on the floor. Graceaugustine has not been here often since that awful day; she would never allow this untidiness. Her eyes tear up at the thought of seeing her sister killed in this doorway, and Jake clearly feels her sadness now. She turns and bounds over the steps to the ground below. She walks around the building, looking at the holes in the walls and roof. Much to her surprise, she smells fresh yerik droppings as she rounds a corner to the back of the building, and quickly locates the source of the smell. She finds the signs of a small herd and begins stalking it. The signs take her to a clearing nearby, where she sees several mothers with offspring. If the clan was in serious need, she would take the nearest female without a baby and return immediately, but there is no reason for that today. She climbs a tree and begins looking for the males at the leading edge of the herd. She will take a male if she can find one.

Before she can spot a male yerik, she hears a gunship approaching. It flies into the clearing, chasing off the herd, and lands. With her prey chased off, her hunting is over for now. She jumps to a large branch and flattens down against it, watching the gunship land. Even before it touches down, she sees a dreamwalker, holding a large weapon and wearing a backpack, jump out and sweep the area. She has never seen a dreamwalker behaving like one of their warriors before, and pulls herself even tighter down onto the branch. Soon, she sees two humans that stay with the ship, and three dreamwalkers that walk the trail towards the school. One looks like Graceaugustine. Neytiri would chance talking to her if she was alone, but the warrior and the other one, who acts very child-like, stay close to her. The warrior slowly leads the way into the forest. When the two humans by the gunship get into a discussion, she quietly stands and begins walking the branches towards the schoolhouse. She stays behind the dreamwalkers who stop when a troupe of syaksyuk attack a nearby fruit tree. At that point, Grace takes the lead and quickly leads them to the school. Neytiri stays on the aerial trail, and runs behind the dilapidated structure before climbing down to the ground. She quietly scrambles under the floor, where she can hear the dreamwalkers walk into the building and talk above her. Grace does most of the talking, and the other two speak on occasion.

Jake interrupts through the bond "I'm amazed. I was there to protect Grace and Norm, and I never sensed your presence. You were under our feet listening the whole time?"

Neytiri smiles and nods as she continues remembering.

The dreamwalkers leave the building and follow an old animal trail into the forest away from Hometree, with Grace leading again. Once they get out of sight, Neytiri climbs a tree and follows them from above on an aerial trail. Soon they stop, and Neytiri stops almost directly above them. As the other two talk and look at the tree roots, the warrior wanders off aimlessly. Knowing that Grace will stay for some time looking at the plants, Neytiri follows the warrior from above.

"So you saw everything? I never knew you were there. I wouldn't believe you if you told me, but the bond makes it clear what you saw."

Again, Neytiri smiles. "That is why we share memories through the bond instead of talking about them. Memories are always more complete." She continues remembering.

Foolishly, the warrior touches several loreyu plants, causing the entire stand to fold up, exposing himself to a young male 'angtsik. As it bellows, Grace and the other dreamwalker run up from behind. The young beast charges him, but instead of taking cover, he charges back, stopping the 'angtsik in its tracks. Neytiri has never seen anyone do this before, Na'vi or human, and is much impressed by the heart of this warrior. Now, Jake smiles at her. Then a palulukan appears, jumping over the warrior. Once the 'angtsik herd repels it, it chases after the warrior. They both disappear into the forest, and Neytiri chases them from above. She hears gunfire and stops. She knows the warrior is in serious trouble, but she could be hurt by the bullets, so she takes cover against a large tree. The firing stops, followed by more sounds of the beast crashing through the forest. Then, she hears the beast roaring in frustration, so she knows the warrior dreamhunter has escaped a seemingly certain death. She finds the palulukan raging by a waterfall, and guesses that the warrior jumped from there. Jumping from that height may have been unavoidable, but it took much heart.

After crossing the river and making her way down the cliff, she finds the soaking wet warrior hiding in the bushes and furiously making a crude spear. Although impressed that he has made it this far, she decides to kill him, as he is getting too close to Hometree. He is nearing the patrolled area, and she will get into trouble with her parents and the elders if someone else finds him while she is trailing behind. She takes out her traveling food and eats it while waiting for the warrior to finish his spear and move out of cover. Once he cautiously ventures out, he walks beneath her. She takes aim, but stops when an atokirina' lands on her arrowhead.

"I felt your presence there for the first time, but I never saw you. So this is the sign that saved my life?"

"Yes. That atokirina' landed on my arrowhead while I had my bow drawn. I watched it sitting there for a moment and then flying away. By that time, you moved down the trail and into the bush. I eased off my bow and followed you." She resumes her remembrance.

Neytiri is relieved when Jake gets to a fork in the trail and takes the path leading away from Hometree. This trail is used by the gatherers when they collect the sap that burns, and they will not be out here this late in the day. She watches Jake make a torch from his spear using the sap. As dusk settles over the forest, he makes fire and lights the torch, just as a pack of nantang tracks him down. Lighting this torch is another foolish move as its bright glow gives away the dreamwalker's location to the nantang pack and all other predators in the area. He might even be spotted by a warrior on patrol. Instead of quietly climbing a tree and escaping on the aerial trails, he stays on the ground and noisily fights off the pack as best he can. Obviously, he does not know this is the wrong strategy to survive. She saves his life, and then tries to send him back towards the human settlement alone. However, the cloud of atokirina' landing on him is a sign from Eywa she cannot ignore.

"This was the second sign that day. I did not know why Eywa was protecting you, so I took you home to discuss your signs with my mother."

"So you watched me the whole time, even before Trudy landed us in the clearing?"

"Yes, my love."

"I was confused when you said I had a strong heart. I didn't know you saw anything before the nantang attack."

"I saw you when you first jumped out of the gunship, and followed you from there, very quietly, until I saved you." They both laugh out loud.

"That you did. I can't believe you were under the floor when we were in the old school. I didn't sense your presence until after I made the spear."

"I saw you stand your ground with an 'angtsìk, elude a palulukan by making a dangerous jump off a cliff into a river, and take on a pack of nantang. Few could survive any one of these encounters, but you survived them all in a single day. It was clear Eywa was testing you, and She was not ready to take a warrior with such heart."

"For me, it was love at first sight when you chased off the nantang that were attacking me. Did you feel anything for me that first day?"

"Mostly hatred, because you tawtute killed six children, my sister and my friends. I wanted to kill you, but my tsahìk sense told me Eywa had plans for you. If one of the warriors saw you first, like Tsu'tey, you would have been killed immediately."

"I remember Tsu'tey was unhappy with you when his patrol caught me."

"I knew he would be. It would have been better if I killed you or got you into Hometree by myself. That is why I was upset with your torch. One of the warriors on patrol must have seen the fire you made. A visible fire means either a hunter is in trouble or some tawtute are out at night. Both require a large response like the one that captured you."

"So you weren't interested in me?"

"I was interested in learning why Eywa was testing you, but that was it. I was betrothed to Tsu'tey. Even though that wasn't my choice, I knew it was for the good of the clan. I never thought about you as a possible mate."

"So, when did you change your mind?"

"You got drunk at the hunt festival..."

"Thanks to Tsu'tey."

"... and everyone in the clan saw the way you looked at me, and danced with me, not separating when you should."

"I sort of remember that..."

"Some children started teasing me about your behavior that night. Even my parents noticed. They talked to me the next day. I told them they had no reason to worry, I had no feelings for you. I was promised to Tsu'tey after Silwanin was killed, and had no intention of mating anyone else so I could become tsahìk. I was committed to mating with him, even though I did not feel ready to do that. But, that got me thinking about you. I did not get to choose Tsu'tey, and I realized there are many ways where I prefer you over him. We share a love of flying our ikran, something that Tsu'tey never had. He flew only to prove he could, when needed."

"For not liking it, he flew very well."

"He did everything well, when it came to clan and leadership skills, that is why he was chosen to become clan leader. He was very close to Silwanin, they really enjoyed being together, but he never was close to me. That is why we did not mate yet. My mother said I should give Tsu'tey time to get over Silwanin, and then he would get closer. You came into my life before Tsu'tey was ready to get closer to me."

"There was more to it than that, wasn't there?"

"Yes, my love. Tsu'tey always acted like my big brother, he was very protective of me. That impressed Silwanin, I think. That was fine when I was a child, but he did not stop treating me that way after my dreamhunt. I wanted more freedom than what he was willing to give. He must always be in charge."

"Yeah, that's part of being a clan leader. Helps if you know everything and can do anything."

"And he did, except how to make me happy. Once I realized you were not responsible for the deaths at the school, I saw you were doing your best to learn what I was teaching to make me happy and to make me look good to the clan. Then I started thinking about the qualities I want in a mate. Your biggest shortcoming is that you are a dreamwalker. You are not in this body all the time. Other than that, you have more of those qualities than anyone else I know, including Tsu'tey. I was unhappy with you at first because you were a tawtute and a skxawng. As you learned the Na'vi ways, I saw that you would become an excellent hunter, and I became happier being with you."

"Yeah, you were very unhappy with your mother when she gave you the assignment to be my teacher, and you took it out on me for awhile."

"Yes, but you succeeded in spite of that."

"I wasn't going to let your anger stop me. The language is the hardest part. Everything else is like my training from the Corps, my warrior training on Earth, except the plants and animals are different here, all deadlier. The best part is flying on ikran."

"We both love flying, and our training became much more enjoyable after you captured your ikran. In time, I saw that I wanted to spend my life flying and hunting with you. There were some problems, though."

"Oh?"

"I did not know how long you were staying. No one can mate until after their dreamhunt. Both must be adults, and Eywa enforces this by not letting children make tsaheylu with any Na'vi other than a tsahìk. I thought you would leave before your dreamhunt, especially after my mother said your alien mind probably would not survive. When you insisted on making your dreamhunt, this first problem disappeared. You always succeed when you commit yourself, so I knew you would survive."

"Well, I know that children have little say in clan affairs, so I had to become an adult to get heard. I didn't think I could negotiate seriously with the clan as a child. Also thought everyone would trust me more if I became an adult clan member."

"The next problem was getting Eywa's approval. She does not speak to anyone, including tsahìks, so the only way to find out is to try making tsaheylu with you after your dreamhunt. If Eywa did not approve, we would not be able to make tsaheylu, and we could never be mated. If Eywa did approve, we could complete mating and be mated forever."

"So you don't know until you try. It's all or nothing?"

"Eywa gave me enough hints that She would approve. Think about the day we met. I saw two signs from Eywa saying to save your life. My parents decided to keep you alive, and have me teach you our ways, even though my father commanded the clan to kill tawtute on sight. Eywa made sure I would keep you alive, and work closely with you every day. That day just before your dreamhunt, when you had to report to your leader and your dreamwalker body was unconscious all day, I went out to the Tree of Voices and meditated on becoming your mate. Eywa gave me no sign that She would stop me, and I felt so good afterward, I was certain She approved. You were right earlier. I took you to the Tree of Voices intending to mate with you, if you could be convinced."

Yeah, I needed no convincing, I was ready to mate with you that first night when you saved me. Your mother said Eywa made me destroy your trust in me, and made you force me away, so that I would capture a toruk to return for you and drive the evil humans away. Guess we had to be mated for that to happen. Looks more like Eywa had to convince you than you had to convince me."

"I have not thought of it that way before. If I did my duty, as my parents saw it, I would never have considered mating with you. Maybe Tsu'tey staying unhappy all this time was done by Eywa so I would mate you."

"Well, you're going to be the tsahìk, maybe you can find out someday."

"I said Eywa speaks to no one, not even tsahìks. I will never know for certain. The last problem was telling my parents and the clan. I wanted to talk to my parents about you, but that would put them in a very bad place. If I mated with you, they would have to find someone else to train as the new tsahìk and mate with Tsu'tey. But, Silwanin and I were the only two Omatikaya girls with the signs that we could become tsahìks. My parents would have to go outside the clan to find a replacement, and that would be very bad."

"How's that?"

"They had two daughters known to have the signs to become tsahìks but failed in training them, one dying while making an unauthorized attack and the other breaking a betrothal to the next clan leader to mate an outsider. To other clans, it looks like their clan is falling apart, that they cannot run the clan anymore because they cannot control their own children."

"That wasn't the case."

"But most will think that it was. That is how new clans are formed and existing clans strengthened, by taking those who want to leave from troubled clans. Other clan leaders will try to recruit the best Omatikaya for their clans, taking them away from us. My guess is that we will lose some Omatikaya soon, our clan is homeless and is weakened because many members have been killed by the tawtute, and there are so many clans here now that the battle is over. Even though you are Toruk Makto, there are those that think a tawtute should not be clan leader."

"I didn't want this job, Tsu'tey dumped it on me."

"All previous Toruk Makto were either clan leaders when they captured their toruks, or succeeded their clan leaders later. Tsu'tey was just following history. Making you clan leader also solved the succession problem for tsahìk. I could be tsahìk again, since I am mated to the clan leader. You are the obvious choice to everyone. But, that does not mean everyone likes it. You will have to convince them that you are the best choice."

"Well, I've been busy getting RDA out of here, and dealing with the aftermath."

"I know, my love, but now you have to concentrate on holding the clan together. In the morning, you should call for a full clan meeting mid morning, since my mother is setting up a meeting of all clans to start after the midday meal, and then make tsaheylu with the sacred tree and meditate on what must be done."

"OK. We have to find a new Hometree. And reorganize the whole clan, based on the skills of the survivors that want to stay. You said something about orphans earlier. Does your mother adopt the orphans without living family, or do we?"

Neytiri has a few tears streaming down her nose and cheek. "We need to discuss that with my mother."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, my love. I need to show you the day my father died, and I may not be able to do that. It makes me very emotional."

"Well, take it easy. It was a rough day for both of us."

"I'll start after I chased you away."

Neytiri remembers kneeling beside the body of her father, ignoring everything around her while wailing uncontrollably, when a familiar voice booms out behind her and brings her back to awareness.

"Over here! Over here!" Peyral yells out, and then slides her hands into Neytiri's arm pits and picks her up from behind. "Good thing you were bawling so loudly, I never would have found you in this mess without your crying."

Neytiri turns around, and the two women embrace.

Peyral whispers "I am so sorry." Several warriors appear out of the smoke and flying ash and silently encircle the body of their fallen leader. The women separate. "You should head down to the lake shore. Your mother and the healers are working on the wounded there, and they need your help. The clan is leaving for the Well of Souls immediately. She's worried about you and your father. She said your mate saved her life, and the lives of those with her, including many children."

Neytiri can only nod. Jake feels that she was deeply ashamed, unable to talk about her mate. She bends down and picks up the ceremonial bow.

"We'll take care of your father. Be careful, this smoke is worse than flying in heavy rain or thick fog."

Neytiri looks around the circle of warriors and says "Thank you. May Eywa be with you." She turns towards the lake and carefully walks into the blinding smoke.

Neytiri skips ahead and remembers the smoke by the lake.

She hears the voices before she sees anyone. She carefully walks out of the thinning haze into a nightmare. She encounters a line of dead bodies first, most badly burned or missing limbs. The varying sizes make it clear that both adults and children have died. Beyond the dead bodies are several lines of the injured, lying or sitting on the ground, many crying or moaning in pain. Her mother is standing in the midst of the injured, working on the head of a woman covered in blood. Neytiri practically runs toward Mo'at. When her mother turns and sees the ceremonial bow, her face falls and she begins to waver on her feet. The injured woman grabs hold of her tsahìk and keeps her upright until Neytiri arrives and takes over. They silently embrace until Mo'at steadies herself. They both turn towards the wall of smoke to see several warriors emerge, carrying the body of Eytukan. They solemnly add his body to the row of the dead. The wood from Hometree that impaled him has been removed. Neytiri is glad her mother does not have to see that.

"Ma 'ite, are you alright?"

"I am heartbroken. My nose and ears hurt and I ache all over, but I am not badly injured. You?"

"I, too, am heartbroken and sore, mostly uninjured. Where is your mate?"

"I do not know." Neytiri feels deeply ashamed again, she cannot say what happened to her mother.

"He helped me and many others to survive. Graceaugustine is over there, unconscious. I fear that happened to him, too."

"If he is unconscious in the smoke, no one will be able to find him."

"The warriors are searching, maybe they will. We must get to work, our clan needs us now, more than ever. This smoke is hurting everyone's nose and eyes. We must leave here as soon as we can."

"Who should I help first?"

Neytiri stops remembering. "Everything after that is a blur. I helped my mother and the healers with the injured. We were working as fast as we could, we had to get everyone ready to leave so we could get to the Well of Souls without stopping. Tsu'tey was directing the warriors to search the area. They were looking through the remains of Hometree, rescuing survivors and recovering bodies. The fire, smoke, and ash made that effort very difficult and dangerous, and some of these warriors were injured while searching. A visible fire is always a signal for help, and all who see it must respond immediately. Many hunters that were out in the clan territories heard the explosions and saw the smoke, and returned as fast as they could. Our food was destroyed, so the hunters and gatherers were sent out to find food and bring it to us on the trail. Everyone else who was not injured was preparing for the journey to the Well of Souls. My mother held a quick ceremony to install Tsu'tey as the new clan leader, and then performed the burial rite for the dead, even though no grave was dug yet. When she finished, we began the trek to the Well of Souls, carrying what little remained of our food and possessions."

After a few tears roll out of her eyes, Neytiri remembers the start of that trek. Jake recognizes the first pass on the main trail from Hometree out of the natural bowl that protected it for millennia, called Homepass. Neytiri stops near the top and turns around, taking in the scene of destruction below her. She stares at the fallen Hometree and the wildfires that surround it while the other survivors walk past. She feels nothing but anger and hatred towards the humans that transformed her beautiful ancestral home into this hellish scene. She dedicates her life to seeking out the humans and killing as many as she can for this outrage and the deaths of her sister, father, and uncounted clan mates. Jake feels the heat of her intense anger at that time. She lets the vista burn into her memory. She stares at the destruction as her anger burns her soul, until her mother backtracks and drags her away, up and through the pass.

"I lost some good buddies in Venezuela, I can understand you feeling that way."

"Such anger and hatred interferes with being a good tsahìk. With the evil humans gone, it will be easier getting rid of these emotions. My mother will not let me become tsahìk until I do."

"You know I'm happy to help. I'll speak to your mother, if you want."

"Thank you, my love, but not right away. Let's find a new home first." Neytiri kisses Jake quickly on the lips and then looks down, putting her forehead on his nose. "After we walked out of Homepass, I joined the rotation with the other warriors and hunters. Most of us stay with the clan helping the old or injured while a few scout ahead or stop and stand watch just off the trail. We take turns helping and protecting to keep everyone fresh and alert, but are ready to run to trouble whenever needed. At first, I carried several children during my turns helping with the clan, and I wondered if they lost parents or siblings. Then I wondered if they would be uninjured and have their families whole if we would have listened to you and went into the forest instead of trying to protect Hometree. I helped with one elderly woman who talked the whole time, saying I should never have mated with you, that I should have dropped you in your tracks the moment I laid eyes on you and left your body for the scavengers, that the Na'vi should kill all humans before they kill all of us. I could not listen to her for long, it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears. I told her we should be quiet on the trail, but she did not stop complaining. I pulled in the next sentry we encountered to switch with me, and stayed there until the entire clan walked past. I told the rear guard I was going to look for fruit and then catch up with them. I borrowed a carry net and took off over the ridge to a fruit tree stand I remembered my father showing me. I climbed up into the largest fruit tree, and quickly filled the net. Eywa provides, She kept the syaksyuk away so the clan could eat ripe fruit that day. I sat down on a large branch and started crying. I could not stop. My sister and father were dead, along with many friends and clan members. My mother and my former betrothed were not speaking to me. I forced my mate away and had no idea where he was. No one wanted to speak with me. I felt alone and isolated, and thought even Eywa abandoned me."

Jake is shocked at this admission. "I'm sorry you felt so badly. How did you overcome that?"

"Soon, I was joined by another hunter up in the tree. She and her mate were on their way to hunt in the outer territories when they heard the explosions and saw the smoke. They returned after we left, and met a sentry in Homepass who told them what happened and to catch up with us. They went cross-country and ran into a small herd of yerik, and each took a male, stopping just long enough to blood their kills. On their way to catch up with the clan, they just happened to run under my fruit tree, and stopped when they heard me. Her mate was guarding their kills below while she climbed up to talk to me. I told her I needed to cry because you, my mate, told us to leave, and if the clan would have listened, no one would have died or been injured. I could not bring myself to tell her how angry you made me, and how my outburst kept you from being heard." More tears stream down her face and Jake feels her remorse.

"Well, if someone said my home was going to be attacked, I would stay and defend it. I would never run away. I only wish the non-combatants would have been sent into the forest, instead of hunkering down inside Hometree. That would have saved a lot of lives."

"I should have kept my anger to myself, and helped you convince my parents to leave." Jakes feels her remorse again.

"At the time, I was unhappy that you became upset, and kept my message from being heard. I had to keep my focus on my mission, saving the clan, and held my emotions in check. I wish you would have done that, too. Guess Eywa decided that some deaths were needed to force me to become Toruk Makto, if what your mother thinks is true."

"I am sure she is correct, but it will take me some time to understand it. I was found crying twice that day. I was so ashamed. Maybe I am not strong enough to be tsahìk." Neytiri sheds a few more tears. "It is dangerous to stay in one place with a kill, so we climbed down, shared some fruit that was too ripe to put in the net, and ran to catch up with the clan. After handing our food over to the food preparers, I got back into the rotation, but stayed behind the old woman that upset me. We finally walked into the Well of Souls."

"Did things get better for you there?"

Neytiri shudders and whimpers briefly, sending another wave of pain and sorrow through the bond. "No, things got worse once we arrived in the well. My mother was working hard to keep the clan from falling apart. I helped as best I could, but our relationship was very strained. My father always resolved the problems between me and my mother, and with him gone, we could not overcome our hard feelings. She was too busy to act on it, but I know she was thinking about finding a replacement for me outside the clan. Tsu'tey did not speak to me the whole time. He was angry with you for taking me away from him, and for besting him when he attacked you. No one ever beat Tsu'tey as easily as you did. Several warriors have asked me about those moves, it was so fast, no one knows what you did." Jake feels an unexpected emotion from her now, admiration.

"That's another bit of Earth knowledge I worry about. Maybe some day Eywa will find a way to tell me if I should teach the Na'vi some martial arts from Earth. I'm no expert, but I do hand-to-hand combat pretty well."

"Tsu'tey was very unhappy with me for breaking our betrothal, and for me throwing him off of you when he was about to slit your throat after you went unconscious. We have been avoiding each other ever since, and I have stayed away from his meetings with my mother. The worst was that everyone seemed hesitant to speak with me. No one knew what to say. I also had trouble speaking to anyone who lost a loved one. Maybe that loved one would be alive if I kept calm, instead of getting so upset." Another wave of pain and remorse comes through to Jake. "I spent most of my time hunting alone with Seze. That was the easiest for everyone. All hunters who could hunt were very busy keeping the clan fed, and doing my part kept me away most of the time. That ended when my mother insisted everyone attend her prayer service. Don't think Tsu'tey looked at me the whole time, until after you landed. Our prayers were answered, you appeared on a toruk and gave us hope."

"And my prayers were answered too. You didn't reject me again. I had to get help for Grace, and I was not going to leave if you pushed me away. But, I didn't know what I could do to change your mind if you did."

"No one expected an outsider skxawng to become Toruk Makto. When I realized you were riding that toruk, it became obvious to me why Eywa brought us together. Being apart made me miserable. I will never push you away again."

"And I promise not to hold back any information from you again. Promise me that if I say something that upsets you, you will check your emotions and ask that we speak privately. If we are to run this clan successfully, we cannot have any more outbursts interfering with what must be done."

"What you ask is very hard, but I will try. I do not want the pain like I got after the last outburst."

"That's all I can ask. When we get a new home, we'll have to make a place where we can go and talk in private, like the alcove your mother had on the ceremonial level in Hometree. A place where we can talk out our issues without the clan listening in."

"That is a good idea."

"It's going to be very tough for awhile. Everyone is hurting from losing our home and so many family and friends. I think we and your mother must talk about dealing with the clan problems and our own personal problems."

"You have personal problems?"

"Yeah, my human body is in very bad shape. I need your mother to transfer me into my avatar body permanently. Maybe she can get help from the other tsahìks so that I make it through the process alive. I don't want to die like Grace. If I don't do this soon, I risk serious medical problems in my human body. If that happens, I'll be out of this body for days. I will be able to focus on becoming a good clan leader if I don't have this health concern hanging over me."

"This cannot be done soon, the Well of Souls is full of injured. They must be sufficiently healed before they can be moved, and they must be moved out of the well so there is room for everyone needed to perform the spirit transfer ceremony."

"Yeah, that will give us a little time for your mother to work out the details and teach me what I must do. But the longer we wait, the worse I get. If I get too sick, Max will not let me in the link, meaning this body will be unconscious until I'm well."

"I thought I had personal problems, but yours are so much worse."

"On Earth, a woman in one of my units said the best way she found to get over personal problems is to get under a man."

"We are on Eywa'eveng, so I do not have to go under." Neytiri grabs Jake's shoulders and rolls him on his back. She slides up and sits on Jake's ribcage, throwing her head back to get her hair out of her face. She closes her eyes and uses the bond to see herself through Jake's eyes. She bursts out laughing. Jake is fixated on her breasts, looking back and forth at the minute differences in her nipples. When Jake realizes that Neytiri is aware of his scrutiny, he looks away, blushing, and a wave of acute embarrassment flows through the bond.

"Do not be embarrassed, my love. That is not our way. I, too, want to look at every stripe and spot everywhere on your body, especially in the places that are usually covered."

Another wave of embarrassment flows from Jake.

"Stop doing that!"

Jake tries to repress his embarrassment.

"Eywa has made all her children full of desire to mate. Curiosity about your partner is part of that desire. Never be embarrassed or ashamed."

Jake replaces his embarrassment with his lustful desire.

Neytiri laughs out loud again. "I have heard mated women speak about training their mates, and now I understand."

"Oh?"

"I forget what it was called. Grace had an object she used to look at herself."

"A mirror, or looking glass?"

"Yes, a mirror. I used still water to see myself before we became mated. Now that we are mated, the best way to see myself is to use you. But, you must be trained to look at the places I want to see. I wanted to see my hair, and you were looking at my breasts. Women always want to see their hair and clothes. Men always want to look elsewhere."

"I'm sure women want to look at other places on men."

"We do. Many women think you have a cute butt."

Another wave of embarrassment comes through the bond from Jake. "Really? That doesn't sound very dignified for a clan leader." They both laugh. "So, is it possible to hide anything from a mate?"

"Only for a very short amount of time. Like the Na'vi, all animals make tsaheylu whenever they can. Plants make tsaheylu all the time. While the school was open, we took Grace to a tree that uprooted. It blew over in a strong storm. She went there many times, looking at the roots, trying to identify the roots tangled up under that tree."

"Yeah, she was trying to prove that all plants here are connected together in a network, like the brain."

"Most couples make tsaheylu every night while sleeping. In time, they know everything about each other. This body..." Neytiri jabs the fingers of her left hand into Jake's shoulder. "...goes unconscious every night right after you fall asleep, breaking the bond."

"Sorry, that's the only time I have to take care of my human body. Max insists I spend more time out of the link."

"I will be very glad to have you in this body all the time. I will help my mother prepare you for the ceremony."

"That's good. The sooner I transfer, the better. But, I have a lot of dreams I'd rather not share with you or anyone."

"So do I. But in time, we will both know all our dreams, including the best and worst. Tsahìks spend much time dealing with the issues mated couples have. Most couples, though, work everything out by themselves. My mother will make sure we are working out any issues we might find."

"I'm sure she will."

"Is my hair behind my shoulders?"

"See for yourself." Jake looks at Neytiri's face, and then looks around her head. Neytiri takes in her image from Jake's eyes, and combs some braids behind her ears using her fingers. "Good, Jake. Now, I am ready." She slowly leans forward and slides down Jake's body until their lips touch. She gives him slow, passionate kisses and rubs his sensitive places until his body responds. She slides back onto him and sits up, sighing as she does. "Maybe now we can get a baby with Eywa's help, and not Max's."

"He's a very smart medical doctor, but I'll do what I can to prove him wrong. Do you want a baby right away?"

Neytiri smiles as she sees herself through Jake's eyes, and feels his loving emotions while sharing her similar feelings. "If Eywa blesses us, I will take a baby whenever She decides. If we need Max's help, let's wait until after we get a new home for the clan."

"OK, that's what I was thinking. Now that RDA is gone, everything hinges on finding a new home."

As Jake wished earlier today, Neytiri is eager and willing for an extended lovemaking session now that they have the time. Cutting back on sleeping time here means less rest time for his human body, but this is a trade-off Jake is willing to make tonight. Sharing experiences and talking through the bond was needed, but mating through the bond is the best way to heal their hearts.