Chapter 10 Hello there...
Steve*
I walk to Bucky, he has no expression on his face.
"Seems like there are too many problems here." He says.
"You have no idea." I sigh.
"Do you really want to stay here?"
"No more than ever."
"I'll miss you then." He puts his hand over my shoulder with a smile. "I'll come here whenever I can." He comes near me. Very near. What is he doing!?
"Why miss me? We're together again, and it's only been a couple of days."
"It's only possible because of you."
We spend the afternoon walking around the tower, far away from Tony's lab or Rhodey's area to leave them both in peace.
Today was a very weird day, and it got even weirder considering the fact that Bucky was acting different, and standing quite close to me.
"I have to go. See you soon." He says before leaving. It's night already, I don't understand why he wants to be here so badly. When we were all together we spent time together casually, but not ALL day.
"See you." I smile at him, give him a quick bro hug and go back to my room. I hear him go and I stop at my door... I want to see how's Tony doing.
For just a second.
I go down to the lab, everything is dark except for a little corner brightened by one of his machines. He is quiet, fidgeting with his hand. I sigh. I can't go now, he clearly doesn't want any company. I go back to my room to sleep, waiting for things to get better.
Days go by and Tony is still not out from his lab. I have gone to check him constantly and verify if he's alright. He has been all quiet. Not even a single word from him and I'm starting to miss the sound of his voice. I haven't even heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. speak in days. I remember him that day walking around and talking to his machines. Even that is gone...
On the other hand I've had Bucky here everyday...
I stay in my room today, I'm doodle on a piece of paper just to think and clear my mind. Is it really impossible for me and Tony to be something?
Just before I continue to think more about that subject I get interrupted by a voice.
"Hey..." I turn around fast to look at him after all these days.
"Tony?.."
"You're still here..." he sounds a bit surprised.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
He lefts out a bitter laugh.
"What? You didn't think I would stay?"
"No. Not with all this mess. I thought you'd have been gone by now."
"What mess?"
"Me."
I stay silent looking at him; he certainly doesn't know what he is saying anymore.
"Tony, you're not a mess."
"I mean.. look at me."
I stand up and walk to him. I put my hands on his arms slowly and look deep into his eyes.
"What is wrong with you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know damn well what I am talking about. We were making progress, we talked but... since Bucky came something happened to you. Is it about-"
"Yes." He interrupts. He truly hates the subject. "Look Steve..." he looks down. "I recommend that you leave and forget about the past few days.."
My heart sinks to my stomach. "Do you want me to leave?" I ask fearlessly. No matter what he says I know he doesn't.
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Steve... don't." He looks at my with those melancholy filled eyes.
"Now, why do you say that? I know the truth."
"You already saw how Rhodey lives here with me. You already know that Pepper left me. There's no way to handle this, it's useless to keep trying... I'm just hurting everybody around and I don't want to you get hurt because of me. I don't even know what am I capable of."
"But I'm willing to stay here for you, no matter what. I told you that in the letter and I'm telling this to you again now. You want to stop all this but you don't even try Tony. Look, you've been gone for days.. I don't know what you have been doing all this time. I don't know if you slept, if you had more panic attacks... I know you hate help, but for once, please let me help you."
He gives me a grin and looks back at the floor. "Why do you care so much?"
"I opened my eyes."
"But.. you hate me. I-I don't understand." I've surely made him believe that. I feel so guilty.
"No! I know I may have brought you to believe that but-"
"But what?"
"It's really stupid.. I think, I had to-... to lose you to understand some feelings."
"I really wish I could believe you."
"I've been waiting for you all these days. I came here to talk to you as sincerely as possible. I have been trying to earn back your trust the best I can, without pushing you too much."