10: Our Unspoken Truths prt 2
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_oOo_
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It had been a hectic set of days in the quarantined Heliord. It ended with a funeral.
Estelle stumbled upon the view from the second tier of the city when she was making the lunch rounds, not quite sure what she was seeing at first. The funeral pyre had been thrown together on the lowest level, as far away from the living quarters as possible. Small things, mostly kitchen goods and equipment, were stacked on the careless pile of wood.
There was no way to tell what had soaked up the unidentified poison and what hadn't.
Eventually the medics and nurses carried out the sad bundle that was the poisoner, tossed the body onto the pyre and retreated hurriedly as if they might fall ill at any time. The body was as contaminated as the tables and tools from the kitchen, and to Estelle's horror, just as worthless.
The man had been an amateur from Dahngrest, guildless and guileless; he had been underpaid enough that he had confessed everything the minute Sodia had dragged him from his cell and into questioning. He didn't know what the poison was. He didn't know who it was for… only that a woman had given him the vial, and her instructions had been explicit.
And then he had died in the night, and no one knew how the poison had gotten into his system.
Estelle murmured a prayer for the poor nameless soul. With the wind still blowing a gauzy mist across the city, the soldiers were forced to light the pyre with oil and magic. The violence of the flames felt unnecessary.
Estelle turned away. It wasn't until then that she remembered why she was lingering on the second tier of the city.
Yuri's dinner was probably already cold. It was exactly the sort of hearty, tasteless, sick-bed mush that he hated, and Estelle had carried it around the fort once already, passing by his door so many times she'd lost count. She looked down at the tray, at the single poppy she'd picked to decorate the unappetising mess, and then up to the infirmary's door.
Another lap would do it.
"He's not in there," a familiar voice offered just as she turned to leave.
Flynn Scifo looked pale, boyish and insufferably proud of himself as he eased himself across the walkway with small, cautious steps. He was wearing the oversized white smock that all of the patients were forced to wear, but he'd cinched it at the waist with his broad Commandant's belt and had managed to pull on a pair of leather boots.
"F-Flynn!" Estelle gasped, nearly dropping her tray of cold lunches. "What are you doing out of bed?"
"Getting some fresh air," he replied with a bright smile.
"But you should be resting! Your stamina may have to rebuild naturally, that means bed-rest!" He gave her such an amused look that Estelle dropped her eyes to her hands. The laden tray stared back like a relic dredged up from a bog. "…Oh, and a balanced diet. One of these was yours. You really should get back to your room and finish up your… um, I think it's porridge."
Flynn winced, leaning against the stone balustrade.
"I've already eaten," he said with a nervous grin. "Karol and I got something from the mess hall with the rest of the soldiers."
The tray really did drop from her hands this time and hit the stone. Gruel and dry bread flew in all directions.
"Karol? B-But he shouldn't be out of bed at all! He was - He almost- W-Where is he? Doesn't anyone just let themselves mend anymore?"
Flynn backed up a step, sufficiently chastised and apologetic.
"He's with Rita..? Honestly Estellise, he was doing better than I was. The young bounce back very quick, and Karol is strong for his age."
Estelle ducked down to gather up the decimated mess of her lunch tray. The hearty, nutritious grey slurry was spattered across the stone in a way that made Estelle queasy to look at. It reminded her of poor Karol.
In the end it had been decided that the curry being prepared in the kitchens was the source of the poison. While Estelle had been healing Rita's seared eyes, Yuri, Karol and Flynn had stolen a quick lunch before heading down to the sparring yards. The older men had been too busy with their fight to eat much, but Karol was a growing boy… He'd managed to cram in seconds before the meeting had drawn them from the practice yards and into the tactics room.
He had nearly died.
Estelle still shook at the thought of it. Having Yuri and Flynn brought so low was bad enough… But there were some things in life that she would never forget, and the image Karol heaving up foam that was pink with blood would haunt her for the rest of her life.
She plucked the hospital bowls from the mess on the stone and gave them a small shake before stacking them. She was looking for a distraction, and she found it half drowning in the gruel.
The poppy bent under the weight of soggy oats when she lifted it, its vivid red lost in the grey.
"I don't even know why I… I mean, Yuri doesn't like flowers," she sighed, standing slowly.
"You care about him."
Estelle's eyes shot up. Flynn was staring at the poppy; the sight of the flower had brought a strange and hopeful smile to his face that turned encouraging when he met her gaze. The look reminded her so much of Ioder's attempt at cunning that it made her blush furiously.
"You too, Flynn? I mean, of c-course I do, all of my friends are dear to me, but-"
"A friend, of course!" Flynn burst out hastily. They stared at one other awkwardly.
"I care very much… about my friends," Estelle said haltingly, fidgeting. Flynn had bent forward into a half-bow, blue eyes locked on the ground as if it were the most interesting set of cobbles he'd ever seen.
"Yes, I… I understand."
The silence transcended awkward and knit itself into something else entirely.
"You… Haven't paid him a visit yet?"
"N-Not yet."
"I see… I think Yuri would be… happy if you did, your Highness," he managed next, strained. Estelle winced.
"I-I can't," she replied.
"Even if he doesn't eat his lunch I still thi-"
"He hates me!" Estelle burst out, then slapped her gloves over her mouth. There, she said it. No taking it back, now.
It was the hardest confession of her life, and Flynn was horrified.
"Yuri doesn't hate you, Estellise! How can you think that?" he admonished with enough passion to stun her into silence. She didn't know what to say.
Flynn had apparently stunned himself speechless; a strange series of emotions battled for dominance on his pale face. Exasperation won in the end and he leant upon the stone barrier that skirted the walkway.
He cast her a contemplative look before shifting his cerulean gaze out over the misty view.
"I'm sorry," Estelle told him genuinely, unsure why he was so upset. "It's just that Yuri hasn't said a word since the woods… and he was so angry that I hadn't shared the letters…"
Flynn held up a hand to silence her.
"It's not like that, Estellise… Yuri's just too big of a fool to be clearer. If he's as angry as you say, it's probably at the men who are doing this."
Estelle dropped her eyes. Yuri had been very protective lately, even if she had been making that task harder than it had to be.
"You mustn't expect too much from him, your highness," Flynn suddenly sighed. He propped both elbows up on the stone, shook his head and then added, "For such a brave man, he's never shown much initiative. Especially when it comes to self-gain."
"I don't understand," she confessed.
"No, I suppose not." Flynn looked out over the shrouded city forlornly. After a long silence, he offered her a lopsided smile and took one of her hands in his. He tucked it over the crook of his arm.
"Flynn?"
"Walk with me, your Highness. Allow me to explain something to you about Yuri Lowell…"
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_oOo_
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Judith had wandered through every street, corridor, walkway and boulevard of the quarantined Heliord before her thoughts finally wrenched themselves away from memories of Mt. Temza.
There was still Izuna to ponder, and Ba'ul was approaching the city on a weather front that would sweep the mist from Heliord… But with Raven this hard to find, it meant he was doing his best to stay lost.
Judith liked a challenge. She also suspected why the old spy was being so elusive, and it was time for him to be un-lost, whether he liked it or not.
It took Judith the better part of the afternoon to actually do good on her promise to locate their missing companion, and she'd crossed paths with the baffled Karol and angry Rita more than once. In the end, the search finished in a small plaza that was one of the more scenic in the upper tiers of the city, decked with gardens to attract tourists. She arrived alone, glanced across the decorative boulevard and she smiled when she found what she was looking for poking out from the lush gardens.
A pair of black boots, crossed at the ankles and tapping to an unheard rhythm.
"You're not hiding, are you?" Judith asked aloud, peering around the hedgerow. The boots didn't stop their cheerful beat but she saw Raven sit up slightly from his spineless slouch on the park bench.
"Never from you, Judy-baby," he sang back, a silly grin plastered across his face. Judith pushed through the thick gardens to join him.
"… And the rest of Brave Vesperia?" she prompted after a pause.
When he fell back into his slouch and said nothing, her smile became sly.
"Karol and Rita are looking for you, you know," she added.
"Yeaah, it's too much work keepin' up with you younguns," he drawled, flippant.
Judith studied the slovenly shape half hidden by the lush foliage, his foot tapping that little bit faster and posture somehow worse than ever.
She decided then to stir up some trouble.
"You're not going to run out on the guild again, are you? You know, Estelle hasn't seen you in a while."
"Oh, that poor girl!"
"Neither has Yuri, of course. Some might think you were doing this deliberately."
"Meetin's aren't my thing, darlin'. Can ya blame me?"
"It's not just the meetings. It's been so long since we were all together in one place that I don't think it's happened since... when was it last?" Judith tapped her chin. She couldn't stop the smile on her lips from turning cruel when she concluded, "Oh, I suppose since you started avoiding Rita last year."
There was nothing more satisfying to her in that moment than the way his foot abruptly stopped tapping.
"I think it was Karol's fourteenth birthday, we had that party on the beach," she continued cheerfully. "That was fun, wasn't it?"
"Judith, sweetheart," Raven wheedled, rocking forward suddenly to rest his elbows on his knees. "I'm touched that you're keepin' track, but if you're tryin' ta confuse this old man, it's workin'."
"That's funny, I thought I was being very clear. Are you going to tell me why you run away at the first sight of her, or should I start coming up with ideas of my own?"
For such a blank face, Raven certainly managed to look horrified.
"Uh, not sure where you're goin' with this."
Well, she did warn him.
"I was merely pointing out that you're acting just like a man who is in love but has decided to hide it."
The silence she got for that one spoke volumes. Raven summoned a vague smile from god-knows-where, but his eyebrow quirked in a way that disrupted the expression weirdly. Judith wasn't fooled.
"C'mon Judy-baby, ya know I only have eyes for you," he deflected, lewd and obnoxious. He was easily the best liar amongst all of her friends, but even he was beginning to sweat bullets under her gaze at this point.
"Could I be wrong?" she wondered in mock curiosity. "It's just that Rita was complaining about the quietta slipping its bridle, and I thought that even you couldn't manage something that stupid unless it was deliberate, and then I wondered why on earth you'd miss the opportunity to have such a pretty girl sitting so soundly in your lap-"
"Now hold on there, sweetheart'," Raven croaked.
"-but then you've been trying so hard to keep your distance, and a quietta ride would have been awfully close, so you see there really was only one possible explanation."
There was the barest of pauses. Raven broke out into a pained grimace.
"My darlin' Judith, that's not fair," he sighed. "There's somethin' ta be said for women's intuition, and you got it in spades. How's a man ta cope?"
"You might as well give up," she replied pleasantly. His grimace became a lewd grin.
"We'd make a great team, you and me. How 'bout it?"
"I think not."
"It'd make this old man's life a lot easier, let me tell ya," he said next with a strained expression.
"Oh, Raven. I don't think your heart would be in it," she replied deftly. With a delighted smile, he rocked back melodramatically with both hands pressed over his metal heart.
"The agony of unrequited love!" he moaned.
"Speaking of unrequited love, I don't think you should be missing any more meetings or slipping any more bridles," Judith said mercilessly. "I don't see what's so bad about caring for Rita. I think it's sweet. And if you don't stop doing such a good job convincing her otherwise, you're going to lose more than her friendship to this."
To her great surprise, Raven smiled at her.
"Don't see what's so bad about it, huh?" he asked her quietly. For one distressing moment, Judith felt like she was looking at a complete stranger. She frowned at him.
He had the decency to cast his gaze aside; the archer slotted one finger into his ear, gave it a distracted waggle and then the stranger was gone.
Judith appraised the scruffy old spy analytically. Unlike dear Karol or sweet Estelle, she knew better than to try and actually force Raven's hand. He was evasive, contrary, and he knew when he was being shepherded…
But that didn't make it any less frustrating.
Foiled, Judith took her revenge by smiling at him sweetly, clasping her hands behind her back and calling out loudly,
"Rita? Karol? I found him! We're over here!"
He stared at her openly as the unmistakable sound of their youngest companions arguing grew closer.
"You are a cold, frightening woman, madame," he said seriously. She tipped her head at that, smiling even as her guild-leader rounded the corner.
"Jeez, you've been here all this time? Raven, didn't you hear us calling?" Karol managed, looking exasperated and thin and drawn. He was doing a good job hiding his poor health, but no amount of bravado in the world could fill his sunken cheeks just yet. Raven shot Judith one last look before rising slowly to his feet.
"You were callin'? Sorry son, ya caught this old man nappin'," he lied easily.
"You're hopeless," Karol sighed. There was an awkward silence as they all waited for him to catch his short, rattling breath. Embarrassed, the guild leader grinned sheepishly and nudged the small figure beside him in the ribs. Rita jerked, startled out of the blank stare she'd levelled on Raven.
It was her turn to look uncomfortable.
"Go on Rita, what do you saaay?" Karol prompted with a smirk. Rita didn't wear embarrassment well; she had her hands on her hips with every ounce of her Mordio confidence, but Judith could see discomfort and rage bubbling just beneath the surface. Eventually the mage ran her hand through her hair, rubbed uncomfortably at the back of her neck afterwards and lifted her eyes.
Raven couldn't have looked more nervous.
"Just for your information, I could have made it on my own, you know. And you didn't have to, but you did anyway, and… And I suppose that deserves a little… thanks, Old Man," she ground out.
"D-Don't mention it," Raven replied, transfixed. Rita nodded as if it was a job well done.
And then she strode up and swung a full-bodied punch that launched the spy so hard into the bench that it left the ground and rolled into the garden beyond.
"And that's for ditching me the minute we got here!" Rita snapped, hands on her hips.
"Wha? Nonono," Karol babbled, shocked. "Not like that! We talked about how to show gratitude, Rita!"
Rita pulled a face at him. She opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, then simply turned and strode away with a furious gesture at Karol that made him cower. The guild leader remained low until she was safely out of sight.
"… Wow, why do girls hate you so much?" he eventually managed.
"You've got a lot ta learn, young master Capel," came Raven's wheeze from amongst the gardenias. "Women show their affection in strange and mysterious ways."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Karol replied with a grimace.
"Yes, follow that logic," Judith said shrewdly, "and Rita must love you."
Karol snorted, completely unaware of the brittle silence that had fallen over the decimated garden.
Judith stepped delicately over the crushed flower-bed and peered down at her older friend.
"No more missed meetings," she ordered cheerfully.
"Your wish is my command," Raven replied dryly. "And I'm just bleedin' a little inta my internal organs, here. No big deal. Thanks fer askin'."
"Take your time," Judith replied magnanimously.
She felt so much better when she left the boulevard, almost humming with cheer again. Izuna's echo had dredged up dark and distracting memories in her, and Judith had never liked brooding. It didn't suit her, and it didn't suit Ba'ul.
Helping her friends with their assortment problems was hugely therapeutic.
She decided then to make a point of stirring up trouble more often.
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_oOo_
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Much later on and on the other side of the city, Yuri was freezing himself stupid.
His feet had gone numb some time ago, but there was no way in hell he was going back to the infirmary. Sick beds weren't his thing. Having nothing to do but think about assassins and Estelle and… and Flynn's idiot opinions… and… and Estelle, well, that wasn't Yuri's thing either.
Three days of bed-rest had nearly killed him. Hard bunks and bad food aside, he didn't know what was worse, Flynn visiting him every second hour of the day or the fact that Estelle hadn't visited him at all.
You always were blind!
Yuri shuddered, a little from the deathly cold, mostly from his guilt. The weather change had finally flown in off the fords an hour ago, sweeping the waterfall's mist from the city with its icy breeze and leaving everyone in Heliord exposed to the frigid, starry night. He couldn't remember being this cold. Even the Blade Drifts were better than this. He had changed into his travelling gear before escaping his hospital cell in a bid to shake free the rampaging nurses, but even those familiar layers did nothing to stave off the chill.
There was no way in hell he was going back. The only thing to do was to keep moving.
A familiar bark split the crystal air. Yuri looked up to find Repede standing by the street corner, tail low and straight. With a smile, the swordsman tromped his way over, trying to hammer feeling back in his toes while he was at it. He was a few feet away when Repede suddenly turned his head.
"Repede? Did you find hi- Yuri!" Estelle was a warm vision of pink in the cold, grey night. Repede huffed and sat down with a whump, face turned aside.
"Uh," Yuri managed through his teeth.
She did look upset. Damn Flynn. Damn him to hell and back again.
Despite looking like the world was falling to pieces, Estelle rushed forward in a wave of warmth.
"Yuri, you must come quick! Something's wrong!" she burst out, reaching forward. She hissed and recoiled suddenly.
"Es-s-stelle?" he attempted, but his chattering teeth dissected her name up into pitiful portions.
It wasn't until she carefully tried again that Yuri realised she'd tried to sweep up his hands in hers. They were so numb he hadn't felt it. A shiver tingled down his spine. It had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the way she rubbed his hands in hers, then ran her warmed gloves briskly from his wrists, up his arms and then finally over his shoulders and to his neck.
Wow.
"You're freezing," Estelle managed, stunned. She knocked the breath out of his lungs when she threw her arms around him and, pinning his against his sides, she squeezed so hard her warmth was forced through his skin in waves.
That she looked, smelled and felt so good just made him feel worse.
He was struggling to find the right words to use when Repede trotted over, sat on his foot and shoved his muzzle into Yuri's cold hand.
"I'm alright, Re-p-pede," Yuri muttered disjointedly. He'd been planning on saying more, but the stuttering was just embarrassing. Repede picked up on the frustration immediately and whined, unconvinced.
"This is why I kept insisting on bed-rest, honestly…" she murmured with exasperation. He tried to scoff, but his teeth chattered. Yuri gave her an awkward pat.
"… I'm so blind," Estelle whispered against his chest.
Yuri looked down guiltily at her choice of words, confused. His chin bumped the crown of her head.
"I should have realised. It wasn't just about the letters, I understand now," she continued softly, sorrowfully. "I should have been honest from the beginning, we're friends after all …"
She squeezed suddenly. Yuri gave one final shudder in her arms as she warmed the last of the ice from his core and he exhaled, ruffling her hair. It was Estelle's turn to shiver, and she lifted her face to look at him.
"And even though I wasn't truthful from the start, you must know that I trust you. If you need to fight my battles because you can't show your friendship in any other way then that's fine, because I do trust you! Please never doubt that!"
Yuri lifted his strained grin to the stars. Even with Estelle's ever-present good-will smothered over the top, he could recognise that patronizing assessment anywhere.
… Dammit, Flynn.
Estelle lifted herself up on her tippy-toes to catch his eye back.
"But it's alright, Yuri," she said seriously. "My wish will surely come true soon. I'm sorry for making you work so hard."
She was so close, her face so bright. He had the sudden urge to kiss her, and the strength of it froze him in place.
"Don't be," he said instead, confused. Where had that come from? She smiled, and the urge returned so strong he rocked forward unconsciously.
Repede lifted his head suddenly, aware of the change.
"Oh, apologies can wait!" Estelle exclaimed, leaping back. He had been leaning on her without realising it; Yuri stumbled without her support and made Repede snap out a bark when he stood on his paw. Estelle steadied him but tugged impatiently at his elbow. "Please Yuri, you have to come see this."
"See what?" he managed. He was jerked forward and then dragged down the street.
It was a winding trip through and over several tiers of the city, always getting higher, always going west. By the time the streets went from empty to packed with nervous, murmuring people, Yuri realised something was wrong.
The crowds grew crushing. They had to fight through the anxious mob.
"You can't see it from here," Estelle explained when Yuri growled at the clamouring. He was too out of breath to ask for more details, so he silently trailed along on the end of her hand.
Eventually they broke through a defensive ring of soldiers and into the eerie quiet of the major observation deck that looked out over the plains. They'd cordoned off the best vantage point out of the city. Yuri was surprised to find the rest of Brave Vesperia present. Flynn lingered at the boulevard and motioned them in, pale faced and serious.
Repede whined, long and low. Yuri gave the dog's ears a distracted rub, but when every other head was angled upwards, it was hard not to follow suit…
The star Brave Vesperia was an angry red blot in the night-time sky, too big to be called a star any longer. It burnt the blues and purples around it with a bright corona that made it look like an infected wound in the sky.
"No, I don't like the look of it either," Rita announced to some unasked question. She had wandered over with her research book open before her, several half folded charts and a sextant balanced between the two halves. Witcher was beside her, furiously scribbling into a notebook.
"We noticed it was bigger on our trip here, didn't we Yuri…" Estelle said seriously.
"Uh, yeah. Not that big," Yuri returned.
It was so large that its twinkling looked more like the crackle of flames.
"So it looks like Estelle's assassin was right. I did something when that core overloaded," Rita muttered, tapping a pencil against her notes. "What I can't quite figure out is where it's going."
"Going?"
"It's definitely off track, that's for sure," Rita explained, pulling a contemplative face.
"How can a dead blastia go anywhere?" Yuri demanded.
Vesperia winked vengefully at them.
"Hey Rita, have you figured it out yet? I don't like this!" Karol called out from across the plaza. He was sitting next to Raven with his back against one of the surrounding walls, head tilted back for the view.
"No I haven't figured it out in the five minutes since you asked me last, moron!" the genius mage shouted back.
"How 'bout now?" Raven hollered. Rita threw the sextant at him overarm.
"Not to pile the pressure on," Yuri said softly, still unable to look away from the red blot in the sky, "but I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Listen, it's not that easy to figure out!" she complained. "I'm just as clueless about the core as I was three days ago! I'm not gonna have anything new to tell you until I can see that damn blastia housing at Zaudé!"
"Then what are we waiting for?" Estelle asked quickly. "Let's go to Zaudé. We were debating it anyway, now our decision has been made for us."
She was right. Yuri found his gaze on Flynn; the Commandant had both arms folded and he gave his best friend a curt, decisive nod.
"The New Order will investigate the assassins," he reassured them. "Go." Judith was the next to move, and she leapt down from the stone guardrail gracefully.
"I'll call Ba'ul," was all she offered.
It was a hard to lose sight of the red Brave Vesperia even when the promenade burst into furious activity. The blotch of red was reflected in every eye.
Yuri shivered again.
He knew he had a lot to apologise for, and he knew he had a lot to do if he wanted to make things right with Estelle… but it was getting harder to protect her. He didn't even know where to start when he looked up into the angry red face of her 'brother'.
"We leave within the hour," Yuri decided quietly, but the promise felt hollow.
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_oOo_
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A/N: Lots of talking in which Flynn is tactful... And Judith is not.
Thank you everyone for your very kind reviews! I'm just glad people are still interested after all this time! I'll do my best to update quickly, but please check my profile for news and updates. The next few weeks might be strange.