Miss Lain Arca--thank you for the substantial review. Nosebleed! God Bless You. ^-^

Chapter 10

It was the night of Hihara Kazuki and Hino Kahoko's engagement party. It was held at the Hihara household. The modern house was unbelievably huge—almost as big as Yunoki-senpai's ancestral house. The party extended to the beautifully landscaped garden, filled with brightly-lit Japanese lanterns and garlands. Viewed from a distance, it seemed like the stars had dipped down to grace the party.

Hihara's and Hino's friends from school got invited—even Kanazawa-sensei, his lovely wife and Director Akihiko attended. Also present were Hihara's co-actors, two of his previous directors, his manager and publicist. She seemed kinder. Well, sort of.

Hihara got a kick out of his friend's face when Yunoki learned that Ayano-san, his former fiancée candidate, got invited. Ousaki-senpai brought a girl with him; a soft-spoken, purple-haired, bespectacled bishoujo. Apparently, the two met on one of Ousaki-senpai's volunteer work and had been together since.

Keiichi kept everyone entertained with his cello; Shoko was hooked up in serious gossip with Mio and Nao; Nami was busy circulating and taking pictures. 'The only media covering the event,' she'd said smugly.

The party had just begun.

Kahoko spotted Kaji chattering amiably with two of Hihara's co-models. Kaji noticed her and waved. She waved back cheerfully.

She greeted and welcomed other guests while Hihara laughed and joked with his college buddies. He had managed to earn a college degree despite his tight schedule.

"Hino."

She whirled around at the sound of the voice. "Ah—Tsuchiura-kun! You came!"

Ryou shrugged. "Tch. Of course. I heard you've invited models here. Introduce me."

"You brute! And I thought you came to see me!" They laughed together and headed to the garden.

"Oi. I saw you and Hihara-senpai last night at the Patisserie Mont St. Clair in Jiyugaoka," Ryou said abruptly. "You're such a pig, Kahoko."

"Oh, haha," Kahoko laughed. "One of the best patisseries I've ever visited. You should try the pistachio mille feuille, Tsuchiura-kun! Priceless!" her eyes glittered. "Tomorrow, we're going to visit Pierre Gagnaire's patisserie in Shinjuku! Yay!"

"Tch, ostentatious place. Where'd you get a tart worth about 2,300 yen?! You're better off with Toshi Yoroizuka's shop in Tokyo Midtown."

"Yeah, Kazuki said it's a really nice cake shop."

"He makes you happy, huh."

Kahoko's eyes traveled to Ryou's face. His eyes regarded her staidly, and she shifted her gaze to the trees. Tsuchiura took her arm and steered her subtly away from the party. They stood behind a huge Shirakashi tree—the forest was adjacent to Kazuki's house.

"Are you happy, Hino?"

His question surprised her momentarily--Kahoko composed her face and smiled.

"Of course, Tsuchiura-kun. I am happy."

He shrugged and took a small, thick envelope from his breast pocket and handed it to her. Kahoko opened it uncertainly to pull the contents out.

Kahoko gasped.

She was staring at Len's and her pictures; while on the run to the car, on the line to the roller coaster; a zoomed-in shot inside the Ferris wheel—while eating meaty buns; holding hands, laughing together at the haunted house; they even got pictures while kissing! Kahoko's trembling fingers flipped other pictures—at the car, at the park—everything!!!

"Kahoko."

She gathered all the courage she needed to control her emotions so that they did not show on her face. She was not so sure that she could control the reflection of her feelings in her eyes when she looked at Ryou, so she carefully averted her eyes and said rather coldly, "What do you want me to say?"

"Do you remember Sakimoto? Yes, Mizue. She's an editor of a local tabloid. She called and faxed me copies of these pictures, asking me to confirm if it really were you and Tsukimori. The Tsukimori Len."

Kahoko's lips quivered. Her trembling hands weren't entirely from the cold.

"I asked her not to do anything with those pictures and to wait for me at their office. I talked to her and the reporter who managed to track you. I reasoned with them, paid both of them considerably just so those pictures wouldn't get published. Kaji got to the reporters at the theater and talked to them. I don't know how he did it, but none of the pictures they took at the theater appeared in the papers."

"W-why…" was the only word she managed to utter.

"It would hurt you. And Hihara-senpai. Tsukimori, too. Kahoko, this is not just about the three of you. Your family. The people around you."

Kahoko lost her cool and cried. Her trembling fingers dropped the pictures to the ground.

"T-Tsuchiura-kun… I don't know what I'm going to do anymore…"

He took hold of her shoulders. "Kahoko. Are you sure about this? These pictures show what you truly feel. Aren't you being unfair to yourself and Hihara-senpai?"

"He knows. Kazuki knows. B-but...But I've got nothing else, Tsuchiura-kun! I've got nothing more to give…"

"Damn. Don't cry." He sighed. "Huh. I guess I should've just kept quiet about the whole thing. I'm sorry, Kahoko." He picked the pictures up and replaced them on his breast pocket.

"Don't worry," he muttered softly. "I'll destroy all of these first thing in the morning. Everything—plus the negatives."

Kahoko closed her eyes as she released her tears into Ryoutarou's embrace.

---

Hino Kahoko stared blankly at the starless sky. What did stars represent again? She shivered.

She let her breath out in a sigh, and Kazuki put his arms around her, drawing her gently back to lean against him. His tall figure sheltered her light frame from the bite of the wind that whistled from the trees. She rested against him, thankful for the comparative warmth.

He took her hand and led her to the direction of the wooden benches. Hand in hand, they sat in awkward silence.

Kahoko inhaled the fresh air the trees provided.

"Kaho. I love you."

She automatically looked up at Hihara's kind face. He pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"I—I know."

Cold silence hung in the air, broken only by the gurgling of the stream and the stuttering, cluttering song of a distant sparrow. A stray wind whooshed by and created a brief whirlwind where the dry leaves swirled up into the air before slowly drifting back to earth.

Kahoko felt disgusted with herself. She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the thoughts that refused to disappear as Tsukimori Len ran through her head for the hundredth time that day. Here Kazuki is, offering her everything—his heart, his name, his life—and there was nothing she could do to love him back.

"Kaho?" He raised his head to fix her with his gaze, eyes deep with concern and warm with love. "I am willing to wait for the time when I can finally hear you say you love me too." He smiled. "Even if it takes me forever."

Kahoko's face burned with shame. She turned away from him.

"I…I'm sorry, Kazuki. I'm trying…Lord knows how hard I'm trying—"

He wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay, Kaho. I perfectly understand. You don't have to tell me anything."

The chatter of the people at the party reached her ears. She felt grateful for several minutes' worth of quiet and she relaxed in Kazuki's arms. They stayed that way for what seemed like hours. The cozy softness of his cashmere sweater brushed against her cheek. She could feel his heart beating under the fine wool, could feel the warmth of his body. Kahoko silently cried. Kazuki did not deserve a half-hearted woman like her.

A familiar sound tore through the quiet of the night. Kahoko tensed. It was the Ave Maria. Her head jerked up but Kazuki's arms remained around her.

It sounded hollow; sad, even. The music pierced through her heart. It was painful. Kahoko noticed that it was too still—the wind stopped blowing and the chatter died away—it was as if the trees had a mind of their own as they stopped swaying to listen. Her heart pounded with slow, agonized thuds as she strained to listen to the melody. The scene had taken on a nightmarish quality of the kind when you want to scream and run, and find yourself rooted to the spot.

She felt something cold and wet on her nape. She turned to find him watching her with an odd expression on his face, his vivid eyes searching hers with disconcerting keenness, as if he would read the thoughts that lay behind them.

"K-Kazuki…" her throat felt so stiff she had difficulty in enunciating.

"Ah, Kaho-chan." He smiled weakly and let her go. "I can never fool myself into believing you love me too. I was a fool to even try."

"Kazuki—"

"Go, Kaho-chan."

"N-no, Kazuki. Please don't give up on me—"

"Sheesh, Kaho," he interrupted, his voice bitter. "It kills me to see how hard you're trying. If I really were worth anything, it shouldn't have been so hard."

"No, d-don't think—"

"Are you going to let him run away, Kaho-chan?" he exhaled disgustedly. "I can't believe he is going to make the same mistake twice. But I love you so much I am willing to let you go."

Kahoko stared.

"Go," he chuckled weakly. "I overheard Yunoki telling Ousaki-senpai of Tsukimori-kun's flight tonight. Said he'd broken his engagement. Looks like he just dropped by. If you hurry, you might overtake him. Yunoki said he drives awfully slow."

Her eyes sparkled with tears.

"Hurry, Kaho," he said impatiently. "I might change my mind." His eyes were moist. He rummaged his pockets. "Here," he said, handing her a set of car keys.

"There's a secret gate out back, hidden behind the largest Kuromatsu. Turn left and you'll find my car."

"God, you're too good to be true, Kazuki."

Kazuki embraced her and kissed her forehead. "You're lucky I love you this much, Kaho. I'd be a hypocrite not to admit how much this is going to hurt and cost me but…I don't want you to have regrets. I want you, but I want all of you. It's all or nothing."

"Kazuki…T-thank you…" she murmured tearfully. She took a deep breath and took a step towards the gate.

"Oh, Kaho?"

"Kazuki?"

He chuckled sadly and held out his palm.

"My ring."

---

story too fast? no? comments and suggestions are welcome. ^-^ again i thank my tensai proofreader, galythia. kansha! ^-^ (she hearts kazuki, btw.) i feel sorry for him, but i can't help it. i'm a len/kaho fan to the core. sniff. T.T sniff sniff. T.T i say thanks to those who took the time to review. you'll be blessed! gyahaha. U.U kiotsukete! ^-^

i've updated 'hitoshii kawase' as well. click on my profile to read. arigato. ^-^