Little Girl Lost
By:LockedSoulsAM
Summary: Every year on December 18th, Shelby Corcoran rides around aimlessly lost in thought, mourning the death of her baby girl. The little girl that three years ago she was supposed to give up for adoption. It hits midnight and Shelby runs into something she thought she lost forever.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee and any of the characters. I do own this story line and the ideas and new characters that come with it.
A/N: In the last few hours I have been thinking really hard. This story has been the only thing that has kept me sane and happy. I love these characters and I love the way you all respond to something that I've finally put my all into. My whole life I have been bullied for being different. I always felt bad and this site changed that.
I feel as though I owe all of you an explanation as to what happened. Somehow a person that was reading this story's friend got my personal kik messenger name. If you have ever seen (saw?) Frozen I would describe this person as a stalkerish Hans. He was saying all sorts of creepy stalker things. I deleted and blocked him and even got new info. I posted last night's chapter and everything was fine.
I woke up this morning only to find a review from this person. My question was how did they even know about the story? This subliminal review scared me half to death. Some time later I put the pieces together and I figured out that this was in fact some sort of sick issue. It was more serious than it sounds. I let him win.
But then all of you reviewed and pmed and it made me realize that I am a fighter and this is my story. I couldn't just leave you all hanging like that. The amount of love and support people have for me and this story is amazing. The issue has been resolved and I'm moving on.
There are a lot more chapters to come and I'm nowhere near finished with this story. Sorry for alarming everyone like that and now that everyone knows my true age I hope it doesn't deter you from reading.
No one could ever offend me with their reviews. Like my parents always say "An opinion is like an asshole and everybody has one." I love every single review, good or bad. I hope throughout all of my stories that you all will be there. Maybe even one day I'll write my own original novel or even tv show and you all will remember my writing.
Thanks to a guest reviewer who said this story needs help grammar wise. Oh gosh do you know how many times I have said the same thing? Even though I love English/Language Arts there's only so much I know. If you have any tips feel free to tell them to me.
Thank you all and without further ado (?) I give you the official chapter 10. (I've always wanted to say that).
Enjoy =)
Chapter 10 Me and U
"Nibbles, Momma." Were the only words Rachel muttered after almost 12 hours. The toddler had a restless night and this morning didn't seem to be any better.
She was currently clinging to Shelby's side as they lounged in Shelby's giant bed.
The little girl wasn't letting Shelby out of her sight. Even when the mother went to use the bathroom Rachel was right behind her.
The little girl was feeling like her Momma was angry at her. When she told Dr. Brown all of those things she thought it would help them to understand her better. She barely understood them herself but she thought maybe they would be able to help her. Now Rachel was regretting ever saying anything. Every time Momma looked at her there was a pained expression on her face or these sad eyes that Rachel had seen before at the doctors. Rachel was beginning to think her Momma would send her back. So now if she was a good and quiet little girl her Momma wouldn't have to send her back.
Shelby sure didn't think she was giving off that vibe to her 3 year old. All of this seemed like it sent Rachel two steps back even though they got ahead with her. She was wondering why when Dr. Brown asked Rachel about Leroy did the little girl start to shut down. Was Shelby wrong in thinking that Leroy was at least semi innocent in all of this? Leroy was Rachel's biological father for goodness' sake. There were so many unanswered questions that needed to be answered.
When Shelby looked at her little girl the amount of emotions for the little girl was kind of overwhelming. But Shelby thought about it she wouldn't have it any other way.
So when Rachel shyly asked for 'Nibbles' Shelby didn't deny her.
Shelby slipped her own shirt and bra off. She scooped Rachel into her arms and sat up against the headboard. She tried to pretend that she didn't notice when the little girl flinched. The little girl immediately latched on and began to suckle.
Shelby had to admit after only a few days of Rachel suckling that she felt a difference. She couldn't really explain it but she just felt different. Friday though she would have to talk to her doctor about all of this.
She looked down into Rachel's chocolate eyes and felt love and warmth spread through her body. She only hoped that Rachel felt the same. There was silence in the room that Shelby was hoping to fill.
"Tink I want to tell you about a time when me and your Aunt Mary were little and she stood up for me." Shelby didn't really know what she was saying but she knew Rachel was listening.
"I was 5 years old and your Aunt Mary was 11. There was a playground right across the street from our house. My momma would let us go and play while she would momentarily check on us from the front window. Mary was playing with some of the older kids, who were also her friends, on the swings. I was playing on the monkey bars. At that age I could finally make it across by myself." Shelby smiled and looked down at Rachel. The little girl was suckling and watching her mother with attentive eyes.
"I was in the middle of the monkey bars and I noticed that at the end was a big kid, One of Mary's old friends. I only thought that maybe she was waiting for me to move out of the way. When I got to the end I tried to go around her but she just stood in my way. I didn't understand why she was still in my way. I said 'Excuse Me'. She called me some mean nasty names and said 'You're such a baby. No wonder you were adopted. Mary said so herself'. I knew that Mary would never say such a thing. I was never adopted either. I tried to walk around her and then all of a sudden I was flying off the playscape."
Rachel raises her brows at her mothers' words.
"I was crying and I scraped both elbows. Mary ran over to me and she attended to my wounds by kissing each one. She asked me who had done this and I cried out 'Lizzie Wilson'. There was this look that crossed over Mary's face. She got up and marched over to Lizzie who tried to pretend that she was innocent. Mary beat Lizzie's a-"
Only when she felt Rachel shift did Shelby realize what she was going to say.
"Mary beat Lizzie's butt. Lizzie ran the whole way home with a broken nose. Your PawPaw raised fighters Rachel. I want you to be a fighter too. You already are. But always remember violence is never the answer." Shelby said as Rachel released the breast from her mouth.
Rachel sat up. She furrowed her brows and looked at her mother very seriously. Shelby looked at the little girl curiously, wondering what Rachel was going to say.
"Momma…we get yogurt now?" Rachel asked
Shelby let out a breath and laughed.
"Yes Tink we can go grocery shopping today." Shelby helped the little girl from the bed.
"Yay! Goccey Shoppin!" Rachel cheered. All of her sadness from yesterday was gone.
Shelby laughed again. Now they both had to get ready for Rachel's first grocery shopping trip.
As they walked into Rachel's room the little girl asked one last question
"Momma, what's da monkey bars?"
Pulling into the Imperial Grocery Store parking lot was like Wonderland for Rachel.
All of the cars and people, this was all so new to the toddler.
Shelby grabbed her purse and got out of the car. She opened the door to unbuckle an amazed 3 year old.
"Momma where we at?" Rachel let herself be hoisted out of the car.
"The grocery store Tink." Shelby stood Rachel up against the truck. "Don't be afraid. If you feel scared just hold onto me."
Rachel held onto her mother's hand as they made their way across the parking lot and into Imperial.
The grocery store was loud and bright and crowded. Shelby was thinking since it was early and a Tuesday that it wouldn't be so crowded. She didn't want Rachel to be afraid because of all the people. There was still Rachel's fear of men to be dealt with and Shelby didn't know how the little girl would react.
So far the little girl was holding onto her Mother's hand tightly and just observing everything as they walked. Rachel was secretly shaking on the inside. She'd never been to a grocery story before or anywhere with a lot of people for that matter. It had been almost a month since the little girl had been this close to any men. They were all walking past her and Rachel couldn't help but flinch any time she spotted a man that looked even remotely like her Papa.
"Daddy!" A little boy yelled as he ran past Rachel and Shelby into his father's arms. The little boy was showing his father a toy he found in the toy aisle. This confused Rachel and she held onto Shelby's pants leg. Daddies were supposed to be mean.
Shelby noticed Rachel's flinch and scooped the girl up into her arms. Rachel immediately wrapped her arms around Shelby's neck and buried her head into her mother's neck. She whimpered when Shelby began to hum and rub her back.
Shelby felt like it was déjà vu even though they were in a different place. The mother made her way over to the shopping cart section of the grocery store. Pulling one from the row, she set her purse inside the seat section and next placed Rachel inside of the cart.
The little girl was to busy looking past her mother though. In a few aisles down there was someone watching them. It unsettled Rachel and it was making her tummy hurt. Her attention went back to her mommy though when she was placed inside the cart.
Once inside the seat the two were rolling. Shelby decided to go to the fruit and vegetable, Aisle 3.
All around were fruits and vegetables of different sorts. Rachel was fascinated by all of the different colors of these foods.
Shelby picked up a few fruits that she liked of her own and set them into bags and then inside the cart. She picked up a few that she knew Rachel would need and then turned towards the girl.
"Do you see anything you want Tink?"
Rachel silently nodded. Shelby scooped her out of the cart and set the little girl on her feet. "Go Ahead Baby Girl. You can get anything you like."
Rachel slowly looked around the aisle. She spotted the yellow bananas and scrunched her nose. Shelby noticed Rachel's facial expression and smirked. The little girl truly hated bananas. Rachel spotted the grapes next and she slowly walked over to them.
Turning around to make sure her Momma was following she pointed towards the grapes.
"Grapes, Momma."
Shelby grabbed a bag of green grapes and a bag of purple grapes. "Which ones, green or purple?"
"Uh….green and purple." Rachel chose.
Shelby laughed. "Okay it's settled. We get both." Shelby set the two bags into the cart and followed Rachel to the next fruit she wanted.
The little girl picked out a bunch of assorted fruits like Apples, Oranges, Apricots, Grapefruits and peaches. Next were the vegetables.
Shelby again picked out some that she liked and waited for Rachel to pick her own.
Rachel walked over to some orange things and picked them up.
"Momma whats dis?"
"Those are carrots Rachel. Taste very good and are very healthy." Shelby took the carrots from Rachel and set them in the cart.
"Can we have all dese for dinner?" Rachel asked as she picked out some Brussels sprouts. She loved Brussels sprouts. They tasted like baby cabbage and her Momma made those the other night.
"Yes. Now Rachel we need more vegetables so I want you to grab everything that I tell you okay?" Shelby stood behind the little girl.
Shelby figured that she could help Rachel learn the colors and the names of the fruit right now. The little girl should've started preschool this upcoming fall but they would have to see. Preschool starts at the age of 3 and you go for 2 years and when you are five you start kindergarten. Since Rachel's birthday was kind of late in the year Shelby didn't know if a school would let her come or if she would have to go next year. It didn't hurt for Rachel to learn now. Shelby is an English teacher after all.
It was like a treasure hunt for Rachel and the little girl was having so much fun.
She'd already retrieved a whole list of foods. Avocados, Bell Peppers (she was fascinated by the shape of these vegetables), celery, cauliflower and a bunch of other vegetables.
They'd gone through 4 other aisles and grabbed every other healthy food. Now was the time for the yogurts and everything else the little girl would want.
Shelby grabbed 2 jugs of 2% milk and some cheese.
"Rachel here is the yogurt. Get any one that looks good okay?"
There were shelves on top of shelves with yogurt and Rachel didn't know which to choose from. Rachel saw some that she liked but there was nothing that really caught her eye. But then she recognized a few yogurts that she'd seen on TV.
The one with the white rabbit was the one that Rachel was searching for though. And there it was on the second shelf. Rachel wanted to get to the yogurt but she didn't know how. The grocery store had some kind of open freezer thing under the shelves with other foods in them.
Rachel looked to her momma for help.
Shelby knew what the little girl was asking and picked her up. Rachel giggled; her mother's hands on her sides were tickling her. With her good arm Rachel grabbed the six-pack of yogurt and threw it into the cart.
Shelby set her back onto her feet. The little girl began to run off, she was ready to get more stuff. "Mon Momma! Time for cookies!" Rachel yelled
A few onlookers laughed at the little girls antics.
An old lady stopped Shelby when she reached the little girl. The lady pulled out a dollar from her wallet and handed it to Rachel.
"You keep being a cute little girl. Always listen to your Momma." The old lady said and walked away "She's beautiful miss."
Shelby thanked the woman. She knelt down in front of Rachel.
"Look Momma. I gotta dollah." Rachel showed her mother the money. "Now we can buy da squishy chair!" Rachel smiled.
"Sweetie that's good." Shelby took the dollar and slipped it into Rachel's pocket so the little girl wouldn't lose it. "And you are going to need a lot more dollars than that Tink." Shelby knew she would need to have the stranger talk with Rachel soon.
"How many dollahs Momma?" Rachel pouted "five?"
Shelby smiled again "I'm afraid not but I'll take you to the store soon and you'll find out and stop pouting."
Rachel stopped pouting and muttered and okay.
"Besides Tink. We have to get cookies."
Rachel immediately perked up as she remembered what they were going to get.
She pulled her mother down the aisle and the cart was forgotten momentarily.
Almost an hour later the mother and daughter had a shopping cart full of food.
Most were what Rachel would need to gain weight and stay healthy.
Once in the checkout line Rachel had become quiet again. This person was watching her again.
Shelby noticed and tried to get the little girls attention.
"Baby, hey what's wrong?" Shelby looked to what Rachel was looking at.
As she saw was the candy aisle.
"Nothing Momma." Rachel muttered.
Shelby was trying to figure out what had happened between now and when she and Rachel were choosing cases of water. She decided not to worry too much since it was their turn in line.
"Oh aren't you just the cutest thing." The cashier gushed.
"I not cute. I ugly. You can't say dat." Rachel told the cashier.
"Okay?" The cashier looked to Shelby with questioning eyes.
"I mistakenly let her watch Toddlers and Tiaras last night. Darn that honey boo boo." Shelby lied.
The cashier just awkwardly smiled and finished ringing up everything.
The total came up to $400.12 but Shelby wasn't stressing it. Her paycheck more than just covered all of her expenses and they would now also cover Rachel's. As long as this made her baby girl happy she would do it.
After everything and everyone was in the car Shelby began to drive. She would glance into the backseat at Rachel. The little girl was quietly watching the scenes go by.
The golden arches came into view and Rachel's eyes lit up.
"Go dare Momma!" Rachel wiggled in her seat as she pointed towards the famous restaurant.
"McDonald's? That's where you want to go?" Shelby asked as she turned into the parking lot.
"Yea!" Rachel replied.
They rode past this place with the yellow lights a lot. She always wondered what was in there. Now was the perfect time in her little mind.
Shelby took a second to think about the groceries. She decided nothing would be too bad if they left in less than thirty minutes. She got Rachel out of the car and the two made their way inside.
The look on Rachel's face when they walked into the grocery store was nothing compared to the little girl's face right now.
"Momma I want a toy." Rachel whispered up at her mother. She was scared that if she spoke too loud that she would be in trouble. She didn't know how she was supposed to act in this establishment. When she would go somewhere like this with her fathers they would tell her how to act first.
"Why are you whispering? And okay." Shelby picked the little girl up and carried her to the front counter.
"Welcome to McDonalds. How may I help you today?" A bright and young worker smiled at the pair.
"Yes I would like new fresh salad. For my daughter I would like a happy meal with apple dippers and chocolate milk." Shelby ordered for the two. She didn't know how healthy all of this would be for Rachel but decided to indulge the girl just once. "Plus two small vanilla ice creams in a cup."
Vanilla was easier to wash if Rachel made a mess on her clothes.
"Will that be all ma'am?"
Shelby cringed at the word ma'am. She was only 24 and hardly a ma'am.
"Yes."
"Okay total is $10.23 and your name is?"
"Shelby. And where is your bathroom." Shelby paid. Rachel had whispered in her ear that she was wet and needed a diaper change.
The worker pointed towards the bathroom and informed Shelby the food would be done shortly.
Shelby smiled and carried the little girl into the 2 stall bathroom.
She laid the girl out onto the changing table station. She proceeded to change Rachel's diaper.
A woman came out of one of the stalls. She glanced at Shelby and Rachel and then went to wash her hands. As she washed she kept glancing back at the two.
"Don't you think she's a little too big and old to be in diapers? A little too much coddling in my opinion." The woman dried her hands.
Shelby looked up at the woman. "Well that's too bad I didn't ask for your opinion. And that's a little too much spray tan for a woman so old don't you think? I mean it is winter. But that's just my opinion." Shelby scooped Rachel up and walked out of the bathroom.
The woman's jaw was on the floor.
Their food was ready and the mother and daughter were currently sitting inside of the Playscape area. Rachel was eating her nuggets and watching the other kids play.
"Rachel have you ever had any ice cream?" Shelby asked wiping her hands. She was done with her salad and eating her own ice cream.
"No Momma. I not ever had Ice cream." Rachel looked at the food in question.
"Well taste. You are all done with the food so here is your desert." Shelby pushed the cup gently in front of the little girl.
Rachel used her spoon and scooped some of the ice cream into her mouth.
The little girl gasped and began to scoop more into her mouth. This was delicious.
"Easy there, tiger. It's not going anywhere." Shelby told Rachel. "Is it any good?"
"Its lotta good Momma." Rachel smiled and scooped more ice cream into her mouth.
Out of the corner of her eye the little girl could see someone sitting by themselves.
It was the person from the grocery store.
"Momma we go home now?" Rachel asked. She didn't want to be at McDonalds anymore.
"I thought you wanted to play?" Shelby asked
Rachel just shook her head and stood up.
"Okay. Lets clean up here and then we can go home." Shelby began to gather up their trash.
Rachel grabbed a few things to throw into the garbage and made her way to the trash can in the corner. The little girl easily threw the trash away and turned around.
Her heart almost fell out of her chest at who was standing in front of her. She was frozen in fear. The person made a shushing motion at Rachel and evilly smiled.
Shelby gathered all the trash and went to the trash can. Where was Rachel?
She began to panic as she threw the trash away and looked around the playscape.
"Rachel!" She yelled but there was no reply from the little girl.
She looked everywhere.
Grabbing her purse and Rachel's coat from the table she went back into the eating part of the restaurant.
"Rachel!? Has anyone seen my daughter Rachel?" Shelby yelled out.
Everyone shook their heads.
"I'll help you find her ma'am." A man nearby volunteered." What does she look like?"
"Um she's 3 years old. Long brown hair, that's in pigtails today. She has on a purple sweater and blue jeans with black ugg boots. She doesn't have on a coat. She has brown eyes. And um a pink cast on her left arm." Shelby described the little girl.
Everyone began to search around the McDonalds for the missing 3 year old.
Shelby walked past the spray tan woman and her friends.
"The little girl probably needed some air. God knows how uncomfortable those diapers are." The woman muttered to one of her friends.
Shelby stopped in her tracks. This was not the time to beat up a 40 year old tan wanna be. She had to find her daughter and fast.
"Miss! She's here. Come quick." A teen boy yelled from one of the doors. He instructed Shelby to follow him.
The two ran into the back of the McDonalds where the dumpster was.
There between a crowd of people was a shaken and crying Rachel.
Shelby dropped to her knees in the snow and pulled Rachel into her arms.
The little girl sobbed into her mother.
Shelby stood the girl up and checked her over for injuries. "Baby what happened? Are you okay?"
Rachel simply shook her head and curled back into Shelby
Someone yelled that the police where on their way. Shelby didn't care though. She needed to get her baby home. She would call Harmon later but for now she needed to get Rachel out of there. She ran to her car and placed Rachel in her seat and drove off.
Once home Shelby carried Rachel into the apartment while the doormen from downstairs carried in the groceries. She placed away whatever needed to be frozen or refrigerated but left everything else in the kitchen still in bags.
She sent Mary and Harmon long texts about what happened.
For now she would give Rachel a bath and then the two would talk and then sleep.
The two were in the bath in no time and Rachel didn't even fight her mother.
Shelby sat inside the warm bath water with Rachel in her lap. The little girl was silent as her mother washed her hair.
"Baby, I know you were sad and scared. Mommy's so sorry that this happened." Shelby rubbed the shampoo into the girl's hair. Rachel hadn't made a sound since they started their bath. "I hope that you will be able to tell me what happened. Can you do that?"
Rachel simply shook her head and buried her face in her mother's neck. The little girl was all out of tears. She just sat mutely in her mother's arm as Shelby bathed the two of them. This was seriously breaking Shelby's heart. She didn't know how to fix this. If she had only kept her eyes on the three year old this wouldn't have happened. She turned away for one second and she guessed that's all it took. All it took for this person to take her daughter and scare them both half to death.
She was thinking this sort of joke and she wanted to know why. Her baby girl was breaking right in front of her and she didn't even know how to help her.
Getting out of the bath Rachel's whole mood changed.
Shelby tried to help the little girl get dressed but Rachel had simply yelled at her mother.
"I gots it. I a big girl. I do it by myself."
Shelby felt her heart drop into her stomach at Rachel's words.
It was now bed time and Shelby was standing in the doorway of Rachel's bedroom.
"Rach its time for bed. Come on." Shelby held out her hand for Rachel to take.
Instead the little girl climbed into her own bed and turned over.
"Rachie has to sleep in her own bed. I a big girl. Nobody to help me. I have to be a big girl or else…" Rachel simply said. "Please Go Away."
Shelby let out a small sob. Why was Rachel turning her away? All of the other times the toddler had been afraid or had a setback, she would want to cuddle into Shelby.
"Please tell me what's wrong baby. Do you want Nibbles? Would that help?" Shelby moved over to sit on the edge of Rachel's bed.
"No. No more nibbles. I a big girl. Now go way!" Rachel yelled.
Shelby broke out in sobs as she left the room.
She closed the door and slid down against it. She would never leave Rachel fully alone.
Right now the only thing she knew to do was cry. Shelby pulled her phone out of her robe pocket and dialed the only number that came to mind now.
"Mom? It's Shelby" The young mother sobbed into the phone.
Rachel was in her room crying her eyes out. Her whole body and mind was screaming to run to her mother and jump into her arms. All she wanted was to be comforted by her momma but she couldn't. She'd been told to be a big girl which meant no more being Momma's baby girl. God she hated this but she had to otherwise her and Momma would get hurt. She didn't want her momma to be hurt. She hated seeing her momma hurt but she had to do what he said. Or else bad things would happen.
Rachel cried for hours and fell asleep to her mother's heartbroken voice outside of the door. She fell into a deep but restless sleep. She couldn't run away from this even in her dreams. No one could keep help her now.
A/n: So good, bad or ugly? God you guys don't know how good it felt to write these characters. I really do enjoy writing this story. So did I do Rachel's first McDonald's and grocery store visit justice? Who do you think the person that took Rachel is? Review and let me know what you think. Thank you all for everything. I'm truly grateful for all of you. When I win my first academy award I will personally thank each and every one of you…
-LSAM