I promised myself, as I made my way out of the darkening forest, that until I knew Edward was steady in his promises, I would not let him have me.
I made it to the front door before feeling the battering butterflies at my rib cage. The family would think I was cracked in the head, for sure.
The door swung open before I could turn and run again, and Esme greeted me with a soft smile. "Are you alright, Bella?"
I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry for leaving so quickly."
We walked down the hall and back into the living room. I stopped at the entrance, seeing the new faces.
"H-hello," I stuttered, allowing Esme to pull me onto the caramel couch beside her.
I gazed around at them; three unidentifiable females sat beside each other on the chairs Edward and I had occupied only hours before.Edward... he seemed to be missing.
I sniffed as quietly as I could, but no fresh scents of him were detectable.
"You must be Isabella!" exclaimed a petite auburn-haired vampire.
"Bella," I corrected, then paused, wondering if it was rude.
"Bella; that's a beautiful name," chimed another female, her light brown hair tied up in a glossy ponytail.
"Thank you. And you are..?"
Esme piped up. "This is Irina"- she pointed to the first girl who had spoken- "Katrina, or Kate"- the girl with the ponytail- "and Tanya." The last one sat tall, staring down at me with an unfathomable expression. Lustrous strawberry blonde hair cascaded down her back and across her shoulders, fluttering in an invisible breeze.
I felt intimidated, for sure.
"Hello," I said again, at a complete loss for words. "I- um... Thank you for letting me stay in your home."
"Oh, you're welcome. It's no problem!" Kate seemed quite happy to have me here. I felt myself relax.
"We'd love to say 'Edward told us so much about you', but we haven't spoken to him until just today. We were sad to hear he went off to feast the other way." Irina smiled sadly.
"But we're all extremely happy to have him back, and to meet you as well," Esme finished.
I smiled thankfully. Their kindness was refreshing.
"I've already told the girls why you are staying here," Esme added, and I felt as though I could hug her a million times over.
I settled with an extremely thankful smile, hoping she could see how grateful I truly was. She was a miracle mother for sure.
"I'm sorry I interrupted you earlier," Tanya spoke for the first time, eying me in the same way she had been earlier. Her voice was lovely, just as the others; for some reason I had been expecting something more frightening.
"Oh, that's all right... really." I tried not to look embarrassed, though if I were human I would be flushing red from the neck up.
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you run away? I hope it wasn't because of me..."
I stared resolutely at my hands, playing with fingers and attempting to ease the nerves. Everyone seemed to shift a bit closer, curious to hear what I had to say.
"I smelled human blood and it frightened me, because I've been trying to control myself. That bloodthirsty monster sort of came out all of a sudden, and I could hardly contain myself. So I ran. I'm sorry, that was rude of me, I should have said something first," I lied.
They sat back, content with my lie.
"That must have been us, or Tanya. We've been in the market, so we probably have the human smells all over us. Sorry, Bella, we'll try to be more careful next time," said Kate, smiling apologetically.
"No, no, do whatever you please, really. I need to learn some endurance, anyway."
"You have a long way to go, then," Tanya pointed out, still stiff-backed in her seat. Her eyes were cold and her words sickly sweet.
"Thank you," I said through my teeth, then turned to Esme in an attempt to make conversation. "You have a very nice son." The words seemed to burst from my lips. Before I could gather them back up, they fell to the floor and shattered. My stomach clenched; I was so embarrassed.
Esme beamed. "Thank you, darling. Edward is such a gentleman, indeed. But I only knew him for a short time before he left."
"I don't know much about him either," I admitted, ducking my head.
"Really?" Irina looked surprised.
"Um, yes?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just shocked. I thought you and Edward traveled here together from New York City?"
"Yes." I could think of no explanation for why after more than two weeks of travel Edward and I were still strangers, because it was unfathomable even to myself.
"He's a very quiet person. It seems very difficult for him to connect with others," Esme explained to Irina and the others, and perhaps to me as well.
"But surely he's read your mind?" Tanya's unrelenting golden stare was locked on me.
I took a deep breath and turned away. "He can't read my mind."
"What!"
"Sorry?"
"Really!"
The exclamations of the undead brought a tiny smile to my face. Only Tanya sat quiet and stiff-backed, as they all waited for an explanation.
"It's part of my power. You see-"
At that very moment, two snowy white vampires sped into the room. My mouth fell open at the size of the dark haired male. I had to crane my neck to see his face from my seat. His companion was considerably smaller, though somewhat plumper than most of the vampires I had seen. They were both stunning in beauty just like the others, their faces angular and pale, their lips rubies waiting to be kissed.
"Hello," the woman greeted, lifting her hand and curling her fingers at me. Her golden eyes crinkled warmly, and her lips quirked up in a smile.
"You must be Isabella," the male said, his voice deep and alluring.
I nodded slowly. "Bella."
"Welcome to our home, Bella. My name is Carmen." The woman nodded at me. Her dark hair fell over her face and she tucked it behind her ears, giving me a wide smile.
"I am Eleazar." The man reached his arm over Esme and took my hand in his.
My hand was limp in his for a moment, for I had forgotten what I was supposed to do. Eleazar gave a little cough hiding a laugh and I ducked my head in embarrassment and shook his hand with too much vigor.
"Thank you for allowing me to stay." I felt as though I had said those words more times than I had in my entire life.
"It's no problem." And heard those words more than I should.
I stood up just as Eleazar and Carmen were about to sit down. "Is it all right if I go upstairs and unpack?" I had barely anything to unpack, but it was an excuse to leave the room. I did not think I could handle answering more questions, especially if they led to ones of my morbid past; and the inhuman beauty in the room was suffocating.
"Of course, dear," Esme and Carmen answered at once. They smiled at each other and, as I left, Carmen moved to fill my vacated seat on the loveseat.
The house was quite easy to navigate, at least the way to my room, and within seconds I found myself sprawled across my bed, my face pressed into the cool, unused sheets. They smelled of laundry and... Edward.
I sat up and sighed. The thought of his name made my heart pound, but it was ominous now, instead of dizzying and warm. There was no happiness, only misery.
Why? I wondered. Why shouldn't I be able to feel attraction towards Edward?
"Because he's no good," I answered myself with a sigh. But I knew I was lying. Edward was perfect. I was no good for him- that was the truth.
"He doesn't want you," I said to myself. I repeated the words again and again, until my head sang them back.
But I still wondered where he was. The house was too quiet. I pressed my ear to the floor and heard the others' voices carried upwards.
"...turned in Italy?"
"She could have been captured by the Volturi."
"But she wasn't."
"What if they're looking for her?"
"She's been one longer than I have." That was Esme's voice.
"How long?"
"Four decades, I believe."
I stopped listening and pushed myself off the ground. My ripped white skirt was now covered with a thin layer of lint. Examining the floor, I realized just how unused this room was. I was perhaps the first person to step into it for a long time.
"I need to change," I mumbled to myself. The least I could do for these people was look decent, I thought.
I picked the black tote off the bed, where I had tossed it many hours ago. Rifling through the bag, I found a white shirt and a pair of khaki shorts, longer than my last, but still indecent-- at least among the humans.
Hoping the inhabitants of the home would not mind a show of bare legs, I slipped into the shorts and tugged the shirt over my head. I turned to the bathroom at the end of the hall and skipped into it.
After scrubbing my face clean and brushing my hair with a wet comb, I felt cleaner than I had in ages. Throughout my entire self-cleaning, I had refused to look into the mirror, afraid that the topaz eyes I so badly wanted were not there.
But I finally did, and a gasp broke the silence when I met my eyes in the mirror.
Golden as the afternoon sun, warmer than a kindling fire, and more beautiful than six vampires; the topaz eyes reflected the dim bathroom light. They illuminated my entire face, golden surrounding the circle of black pupils.
"You look lovely, now will you stop admiring yourself and please come speak to me?" It was Tanya.
She stood outside the bathroom and watched me turn to her warily.
"What would you like to speak to me about?" I asked. Suppressing a sigh, I followed her back into my room. She took a seat on a chair I had not noticed before, in front of the window.
I sat on the other side of my large bed and faced her, waiting.
She was quiet for a long time, looking out the window with a thoughtful expression on her beautiful face. It was dark outside, and dark in my room.
I leaned over and turned my bedside lamp on. The light woke her from her thoughts.
"I apologize." Tanya turned to me, and her eyes flickered ominously. "Bella... is there something happening between you and Edward?"
I was taken aback by the question and unprepared to answer it. Feeling flustered I mumbled something like, "...don't know... what... it's so... he's kind of... crazy."
"You think he's crazy?"
"No, I- uh... I don't know. I mean, Edward and I don't know each other."
"That's true." She nodded thoughtfully. "I've known him much longer than you have."
"I suppose..." There was only one reason she would ask me these questions. "Is there something happening between you and Edward?"
Her eyes flicked up to me and I was captured in her web, paralyzed by her poisonous stare, and unable to escape.
A smirk crawled across her lips. "Maybe."
And suddenly she was gone, only her bittersweet scent leaving a trail that led out the door.
I fell back on my bed, my legs still crossed. I felt more miserable than before and my heart thumped out a frightened beat.
Competition? I thought. I had never been the competitive type. I was quiet and shy. If there was a fight over something, I preferred to give up and let the other person win.
"But I don't want him anyways," I lied to myself. It was impossible to lie to yourself, I had always heard, but maybe if you did it long enough, you would begin to believe it and then it would not be lying... would it?
I lay on the bed until around midnight and no one bothered me. I was sure they were all gathered downstairs with Edward and talking about me, which did not bother me in the least. As long as I did not have to answer anymore questions for the rest of my life, I would be fine.
Midnight brought a bout of strength to me. Having tired myself of thinking I slipped off the bed, feeling the dusty floor beneath my toes, and strode to the door.
I peeked my head into the hall first, but it was empty. The door opposite mine was the only dark one, but the rest all had thin bars of light pouring from the bottom, which meant everyone was in their rooms.
Quietly, I tiptoed through the hall and down the stairs. Within seconds I landed on the first floor, right in front of the door, and stared at it, wondering if I could go outside without anyone noticing.
Deciding against it- the door was too noisy when opened- I walked down the hall at a considerably slow pace.
I felt like a human, strolling through the well-furnished home with its unneeded heating and its kitchens, bathrooms, and unnecessary leisurely items.
I stopped when I saw the empty caramel couch and, in a rush of idiocy, felt the urge to jump on it. On a bit of a run, I leapt at the last moment, and landed on the loveseat. Curled into a ball, the warm sofa swallowed me up in its cushions and I lay there, listening to the...
"Bella?"
"Oh!" I sat up as quickly as I could and straightened myself, placing my feet flat on the floor.
Edward had half-risen from his seat on a large, white sofa against the right side of the wall. A black square was clutched in his right hand and at first I thought it was a weapon.
He followed my gaze to it and held it out to me. "It's a remote."
I cocked my head. "For what?"
"The television." He laughed and pointed to the black box sitting against the far wall of the room.
"Oh..." I felt silly. A weapon, I scoffed.
"So what was that?"
I clamped my jaws together, having hoped he had forgotten my childish actions only a few moments before.
"Nothing?" I shrugged, hoping to brush it off.
His angel lips stretched into a crooked grin. "All right"- He shrugged too- "if you say so..."
A/N: The first thing that crosses my mind at the current moment is to recommend a book I just read. It wasn't Twilight-awesome (many can't be), but it's a pretty good read.
Just Like That by Marsha Qualey
And though the summary may make it seem like one of those angst reads, it is completely the opposite. At least for me (who absolutely hates angst reads, but has read 'Speak' and 'My Sister's Keeper', plus many- depressing- more's.)
Actually, Speak had a nice ending, for anyone that hasn't read it. Kristen Stewart is in that movie, by the way.
Okay, I digress.
Hopefully I'll update again this weekend, but it's unlikely (which means it will definitely happen. As opposed to when I say I it 'probably' will, and it never happens) because I have to read about 30 pages of a textbook and write an essay on them.
Edward, help me.
R E V I E W !-No. Really. Do it. Now.