Lexa's head was heavy. She wondered if the style Clarke had put it up in had somehow increased its weight. She was lying on the cold metal floor of Clarke and Raven's room and could not lift her head. It was not entirely an unpleasant feeling. She could still hear and see everything going on around the room. She was just not accustomed to conducting herself this way. She tried to will herself to sit up but she could not muster the strength to lift her head. Octavia was lying on the floor next to her, laughing at a supposed joke Raven had just made. Lexa hadn't understood it but laughed politely. Lexa's eyes searched for Clarke as her loud sounded the loudest in her ears.
It was then that Lexa realized her head was resting next to the blonde's legs. But she couldn't remember exactly when she had laid down. Clarke was sitting upright, her back against the beds. She was gingerly holding her drink above Lexa's head trying not to spill it. Her empty hand was considerably close to Lexa's hair and she was sure the Blonde was fighting the urge to touch her. They both enjoyed a mutual proximity. It was comforting.
Once Raven had passed out a beverage to each in the room they had done a toast to celebrate the new found peace and finding of new friends. . Naturally Lexa had taken a drink with everyone else.
Though the liquid smelt and looked like a common juice her people drank it had a strange foul taste to it. Not wanting to be rude to Clarke's friends Lexa drank the juice faster than she normally would have, to be rid of it. Or so she had hoped. The moment she had finished her cup, Raven politely refilled it.
That was four drinks ago. Now Lexa's head was heavy and she found she could not focus on a conversation as clearly, but she didn't mind. She looked up again to see Clarke's eyes staring back down at her, the piercing blue eyes.
"Well Lexa?" Clarke asked, apparently repeating what she had just said.
"Hmmm?" Lexa asked unable to recall what they had been discussing.
Raven snorted.
"Shut up Raven." Clarke said good-naturedly. "This is your fault, she was being polite. That's why she was drinking those so fast. She didn't want to offend us by saying our moonshine tastes awful."
"Clarke?" Lexa asked looking up at the other girl.
Clarke looked back down at her and ran her fingers through the Commander's dark hair. "What have you done to me?" Lexa asked sensing the ground turning slightly.
"Sit up Lexa." Clarke laughed supporting the girl's neck and lifting her up into a sitting position.
"How are you doing Lexa?" Octavia asked from the ground.
"I… am well." She replied smiling happily still able to feel the warmth of Clarke's hands on her neck. Whatever the drink was it had lowered her need to guard her emotions. It was a strange yet freeing feeling. She hadn't smiled or laughed this openly since her childhood.
"Good." Raven said from her across the room. "Can I ask you a question Lexa?"
"I suppose." Lexa responded leaning against the bed next to Clarke.
"What did you first think of us when you learned we'd fallen from the sky."
At this Lexa laughed. "I was astounded. " She confessed. "It had been years since anyone had heard tell of a person falling from the sky. I set scouts to spy on you all. Soon you all became a slight joke to us all."
"What?" Clarke asked turning to look at the other girl who was still grinning.
"You were so naïve and unorganized. My scouts only told me of your lack of leadership, forethought and maturity. Like children playing." Lexa shrugged her shoulders. "So I began to ignore you and focus on other tasks."
"Until we started fighting you guys back." Octavia said sitting up. "And kidnapping your people."
"Until then." Lexa confirmed. "Then you became very interesting to me."
"Jeez. It's been a weird year." Raven thought aloud.
"I think most people have thought this." Lexa chuckled. She certainly had a hard time remembering the way the world ran before Skaikru. Her main concern had been uniting the clans, keeping Azgeda in order, fearing the mountain. Now all those things had been dealt with. She had also been alone and had vowed never to love again. Subconsciously Lexa brushed her hand against Clarke's, which was supporting the girl just next to her.
Raven caught this small hint of affection and smile slightly mischievously. Thus far they'd talked about many things from funny childhood stories, to latest things happening in the camp or in Polis but they had not touched on one of the main reasons they had gathered. She stared at the two women across from her. There connection was apparent. After talking more and more with Lexa; Raven understood why Clarke respected her so much. She was intelligent and confident but also had the slightest sense of humor and was a wise engaging speaker. She and Clarke were very similar in most aspects of their personality. However, Raven couldn't really image any romance between them. She'd hoped the alcohol would loosen them up and they'd slip. Lexa had certainly become more conversational but she was still composed for the most part. This slight touch of the hand could be the flood gate Raven hoped.
"I have to go to the bathroom." She said standing up suddenly, catching eyes with Octavia.
"Me too." The girl said catching the not so subtle hint. "We'll be back in second guys." She said opening the door and slipping out of the compartment, closely followed by Raven.
Once the door shut Clarke laughed and shook her head.
"What is it?" Lexa asked looking at the other girl.
"They're just stupid." Clarke smiled, still shaking her head, her two friends had been anything but subtle in leaving the two of them alone. She turned her attention to the slightly tipsy Commander. "Are you having fun?" She asked. Lexa smiled a not entirely sober smile.
"I am. I'm afraid I'm not completed focused on this girl talk. My head is quite heavy.."
Clarke smiled sweetly and put her hand on Lexa's cheek. "Don't let those to give you anything else to drink that isn't water. Okay?"
Lexa would have nodded but she was too preoccupied with the warm feeling of Clarke's hand on her face. There had been many times that she had thought of kissing the girl over the past few days but enforced high amounts of restraint. However, tonight she felt almost nothing holding her back. She didn't care about her people or the problems. She just wanted to feel Clarke's lips against hers. She pull her in tightly, to run her hands along her beautiful body.
Clarke seemed to be feeling this same pull, as she didn't re-ask the question, she too was not entirely sober. She found her eyes darting from the Commander's eyes to her lips. The two found themselves leaning into one another. They got so close that Clarke could feel Lexa's warmth breath on her face. The desire proved to be so much and she kissed the Commander. It was a rough kiss brought on by desire more than compassion. Clarke found herself pushing against the Commander who pushed straight back. The two girl's bodies closed their gap so there was no space between them. Lexa's hands reached over her and grasped her hip, pulling her closer and running her hands along the younger girl's back.
Clarke stroked along Lexa's face and down her neck. The Commander shivered at her touch. Clarke wanted nothing more than to lower the girl onto the floor and continuing kissing on top of her. Just as Lexa began to allow herself to be pushed down the door opened.
The two girls jumped and released one another. Clarke hadn't realized she'd been supporting so much of Lexa's weight. So when she released the girl, Lexa fell backwards slightly too tipsy to catch herself. Clarke went to grab her but found her coordination poor and ended up falling on top of her more than helping her.
Raven and Octavia came into the room laughing.
"Sorry. Are we interrupting something?" Raven asked smirked taking care to step over the two girls and throwing herself on the bed. "We can leave you two along and come back later."
"I believe you now Raven." Octavia said looking down at Clarke and Lexa's tangled forms.
Lexa simply lay flat on her back staring at the metal ceiling a look of mortification carved on her face. Clarke her face red gingerly climbed off and sat herself on the opposite side of the room.
"Well finally Clarke." Octavia said sitting next to her embarrassed friend. "I was beginning to wonder if you and Raven were completely just pulling my leg."
"Hey Lexa." Raven said leaning over the Commander who was still stewing in her shame. "Don't worry about it." She consoled. "It's natural."
"Yeah." Octavia said to Clarke. "I don't see why you guys are keeping this so secret. You both seem happy with it."
"It's not that…" Clarke began but Lexa cut her off.
"The last time the Commander was with someone, she was tortured and beheaded." Lexa said calmly from the floor. Clarke sat slightly straighter. Lexa rarely spoke of Costia and if she did it was more in rage over Azgeda.
"I don't want the same to become of Clarke." Lexa said sitting herself up looking crestfallen.
Raven and Octavia were silent. Glancing at Clarke for any type of detail but Clarke couldn't tear her eyes away from Lexa. Was that really why Lexa had been so keen on keeping them a secret? She wasn't as fearful for what it would do to the clans but what it would do to her?
"Hey." Raven said sliding down to sit next to Lexa. She lifted her arm to put it around the girl, hesitated to contemplate what she was about to do, then followed through with the motion.
" No one is going to hurt Clarke." Raven said confidently squeezing Lexa's shoulder. "I'll kill them if they try."
Lexa cracked a small smile, enjoying Raven's biting personality. The girl had been through so much, and still she remained strong.
"So Lexa." Raven said, suddenly very serious. "I've got something very important to ask you."
Lexa cocked her head to the side curiously.
"How many stupid things has Clarke done in your capital, uhh Polis right?"
Lexa looked at her confused. Clarke just groaned.
"Come on Raven…" Clarke began wanting them to leave Lexa be.
"No. I'm serious." Raven held up a hand to silence Clarke and focused once more on Lexa. "I mean, we have no idea of your customs or life style. She's got to have done some pretty stupid things."
At this Lexa understood. Raven was looking to lighten the mood at Clarke's expense. She felt the corner of her mouth twitch at the idea. She looked across the room at Clarke who sighed and just nodded.
"Well?" Raven prompted.
"Clarke has been pretty adaptive." Lexa said shrugging. Octavia groaned disappointedly. "Except for once or twice." Lexa smirked. "Her first official meal as an Ambassador was quite memorable."
At this Clarke sat up straight. "Lexa no!" She cried. "You said you'd never mention it again!"
"Mention it now!" Octavia sat up attentively while Raven nodded encouragement. "Story time!"
"We had all just sat down to eat." Lexa began and Clarke groaned and lay down on the floor her hands covering her face. "There was such extravagant food. The finest to celebrate the 13th clan." Clarke uncovered her face slightly to listen. "A servant was passing by the dining table just as the meal started to feed our hunting dogs. On his way past the table he was called off to help with something and left the try on the table. By the time he'd returned the entire table looked at Clarke to see she had filled her plate with the dog's food and was in the process of eating it."
Raven and Octavia broke out laughing. Clarke groaned.
"She said it was the best she'd ever eaten" Lexa added laughing. Clarke kicked her foot out slightly to hit Lexa's.
"I was being polite." She cried. "It looked like all the other dishes."
"So you are saying that their food all looked like dog food?" Octavia laughed.
"What do you feed your dogs?" Raven asked.
Lexa laughed. "The parts of the animals we don't eat. That day it was pig groin and deer intestine."
"Delicious was it Clarke?" Octavia asked prodding her.
"I wasn't sure if we were meant to laugh or be offended." Lexa confessed. "After all the time I'd spent convincing my people that Skaikru were intelligent and worth keeping alive. She did that."
"Right. Right." Clarke nodded in mock agreement. "Coming from the girl who didn't know how to unhook a bra."
The room was silent. Then Raven's jaw dropped.
"Shots fired!" She said impressed. Lexa opened her mouth in shock to respond but Raven simply placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Don't even bother. She's cut you, don't make her twist the knife."
Clarke's self-satisfied grin vanished as she truly began to process what she'd said.
"I mean…" She began crawling across the floor to sit by Lexa.
"Don't even Clarke." Octavia laughed at the shocked expression Clarke and Lexa were making. "The damage is done."
"Lexa." Raven whispered to the Commander. "This is the part where you storm away and make her chase you. It's what girlfriends are supposed to do.
"I'm not going to storm away." Lexa replied simply, feeling the alcohol loosen her tongue completely. "I was just going to say, yes I couldn't get the damn piece of fabric off. But I have to say I'm very skilled at it now."
Clarke's face went blood red as she started at Lexa. Who returned her mortified look with a grin.
Raven didn't say anything at first. Instead she just patted Lexa's shoulder thoroughly fascinated. "That's a good skill to have." She said tight-lipped, trying to hide the intense laughter she was dying to release. "I must say I'm impressed."
"Would you both like to hear about Clarke drinking my incense instead of her wine?" Lexa offered her eyes locked on Clarkes'.
"Alright that's enough." Clarke barked leaning in and kissing Lexa. Ignoring Octavia as she wolf whistled. The kiss relaxed the two and they both leaned back against the bed, completely comfortable.
"Incense. That's nothing" Octavia laughed." Once my mom left out some grease and I thought it was that butterscotch pudding stuff."
As Octavia delved into the story of her spooning cooking grease into her mouth Clarke leaned herself against Lexa, resting her head on the girl's firm shoulder to listen. Lexa remained sitting straight but subtly took Clarke's hand and played with her fingers. The two were completely at home and Raven and Octavia couldn't be happier. They had watched Clarke almost destroy herself with guilt and grief. Seeing her happy with someone made them feel like they truly could build lives here.