Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything Twilight related. Just my naughty Father Jacob. :)
Rating: Mature-lemons, language
A/N: Thank you guys who let me know you are enjoying this story for the first time and second round. Hope you guys enjoy the changes.
FFG: Chapter 9: Twisted Between Love and Lust
BPOV:
"Please." Jacob whimpered as his lips continue to place gentle kisses down the curve of my neck.
I felt his hands slip underneath my blouse as they caressed and touch every inch of my stomach. I felt so light that I wondered if I had passed out and this was all a dream?
When the palm of his hand covered the top of my breast I felt the warmth of his hand. My body instantly began to absorb his heat like a rock from the sun. I was beginning to feel warm, warmer and then I was so hot that I felt a trickle of sweat trickle down my spine. Jacob was burning me up with his touch.
My heart was racing so madly that it hurt. My chest was aching but I didn't care. If I was going to die from a heart attack and it was in his arms then it would be worth it.
I felt the small metal latch in the front of my bra unsnapped. He was releasing my taunt breasts from the restraints of my bra. When his hands cup both of my breasts I cried out. I was conflicted. This was the sweetest torture. It was like being on a drug. It was so surreal. Every touch, every kiss, every movement between our bodies was pure erotic bliss.
I was starting to wonder if Jacob had lied to me? How could he be doing all these magical things to my body and have no experience at all? I simply couldn't believe that I was the one woman who could undo Jacob's vows to remain celibate. There was no way you could convince me that I was that irresistible to him? There was nothing special about me. I was just simply Bella. No. This was not possible.
My brain began to function at last. Stupid brain.
Bella what are you doing? Do you really want to be responsible for breaking Jacob's vows to God. It's not like he is being unfaithful to a girlfriend. He is being untrue to the almighty himself. Do you want that on your head? Do you want to face God someday and know that you were responsible for causing Jacob's soul to possibly burn in hell? Is the sex worth that much to you? Come on girl think about this. I know it feels so damn good and it feels so damn right but once it is over can you face the consequences of your actions? Can you face him knowing the terrible guilt he will suffer from?
A ripple of tremendous pleasure rolled over me,starting from my breasts, then my stomach, then my hips. I lowered my head to see Jacob trailing his finger over an ethereal blue vein until it disappeared under the dark areola. God he looked sexy as hell.
My fingers curled at my sides. His head dipped down, dragging his tongue over my nipple, then suckled until my body rose up so high I was on my tip toes. I cried out as my sweet core begin to tingle and I felt my panties soaked. It was incredible how his kisses and a little foreplay had me so drenched. I was totally loosing it. I grip his hair on the back of his head as I pressed my breast further into his mouth. I heard him moan causing me to climax so hard that I literally shuddered and spasm standing straight up on my feet.
"God I could suck on these forever. You taste so sweet Bella." He mumbled as his mouth search for the other one.
I was starting to feel tears glistening the back of my eye lids. As much as I truly wanted this with him I knew in my heart I could not do this to him. I should put a stop to this. It was not fair to him. I could handle the consequences but I did not think that a man as good hearted as Jacob could live with what he had done.
When all the strength I could muster I push him away from me. I heard the small plopping sound as my breast slip out of his mouth.
I could hear him panting for air. My hands quickly covered up my exposed breasts as I look up at him with heavy eyes.
I saw the confusion on his face. He wanted to go further. He was willing to do what I had dreamed about a million times. Not once in those fantasies did I ever stop him from touching me. It was insane what I was doing, I knew it. If it had been any other man I would not have stopped. This was Jacob. Father Jacob.
It was rather ironic, he was suppose to be helping me protect my soul and here I was doing the right thing to help save his soul.
"Jacob." I whispered as I snap my bra back and pulled my shirt down to cover me up.
"What? What's wrong?" He ask with a deep sexy voice.
"I'm sorry." I felt the tears stinging in my eyes. I knew that I was totally giving him mixed signals. It was so wrong of me but one of us had to stop this before we went too far, before we past the point of no return.
"Why are you sorry?" He coughed as he ran his hands through his hair. I could tell he was still frustrated. His cock was still hard as hell. It look so enticing and every fiber in me wanted to reach out and touch that bad boy but I took a step back instead. I had to put some space between us.
"I know I can be so damn confusing." I cried out as I pinch the tip of my nose.
"I will agree with that." He sighed long and loud.
"I brought this on. I should have not teased you. I …God Jacob I want you so bad that I am physically hurting. I just can't…I mean…it's wrong." I gulped hard as I watch his face express his own pain.
"I know what you mean." He reach down and shifted himself.
"Bella it's my fault." He continued as he smiled sadly at me.
"No. It's not really about fault. I mean we both wanted it. We both feel this connection between us." I cried out defensively. I did not want him to take this burden onto himself. It was ridiculous for him to believe that he was the one here who was suppose to be stronger. I saw us as only a man and woman, not a priest and woman. We both had desires, wants and needs. It did not matter which one of us wore a robe. This was just human instincts we were acting on.
"I hear you and I know on one level you are correct. Yet the priest…uh…the priest in me knows that I am the one who is weaker between us. I should be protecting you Bella. I should be showing you the way to God's love. Yet here I stood before you ravishing your body. I wanted you so damn badly that I think that I might have actually lost my…well…you know what I mean." Jacob's eyes began to turn so dark that they nearly look black instead of the lovely shade of brown that I had always adored.
"Jacob please don't beat yourself up over this. This is normal. This is what happens between men and women. I know that you have lived such a celibate life and I am pretty damn sure that you have stayed away from women in general or else it would not be so easy to seduce you." I slip my hands into my pockets as I stared down at my feet. I shuffled my feet as I felt warm tears slipping out of my eyes and landing on the floor by my feet.
"Seduce me? Is that what you have been doing Bella? " His voice roared as he laugh loud with anger. It made me tremble. I was nervous. I could tell I had pissed him off this time.
"Not exactly. I mean…yeah…the other day perhaps…but today I swear I was not." I cried out as I wiped away the tears from my face nervously.
He gripped my face hard with his hand as he stared straight into my eyes. I wince as the pain of his hand crushing my jaws so tightly.
"You can't seduce the willing Bella. Don't flatter yourself by thinking that for one damn second that you have some power over me." His voice was cold as ice as his eyes pierce my soul. I felt like he had just slam his fist in my stomach.
Jacob had never been cruel to me before in the past. This angry side of him was something new I had never experienced before.
"I knew it." My voice was filled with venom as I stared back at him. I found myself furious as hell with him. He had a right to be upset with me but he didn't have the right to be cruel like this.
"You knew what?" He snorted as he released my face from his hard grip.
"I knew that I was not the first woman you have touched since you took those damn ridiculous vows." I shouted at him as I walked away from him.
I wanted to put plenty of space between us. We were both growing angry with one another. I did not want him to hurt me. My jaw was already feeling slightly bruised.
"Are you serious?" He growled at me.
I just nodded my head as I stared rebelliously at him.
"YOU are the first woman Bella Swan. Do you see me as that weak? Do I come off as a pathetic man who only thinks with his dick? Let me tell you I've seen beautiful women in the past ten years that most men would die for and not once did it spark even an ounce of passion in me like this kiss did." He look at me with so much pain in his eyes that it crush my heart.
Maybe I had jump the gun with my conclusions. Maybe he had been honest with me after all.
"No. I just…damn it Jacob I just can't stand here and believe that I am something that special or unique. I'm plain, ordinary and I know all you see when you look at me is the girl I once was when you left me. How can a woman like me affect you like that when you just told me that beautiful women hadn't. I've never known you to lie to me but look at you. Why am I able to do that to you if they couldn't? " I pointed down to his swollen member.
He lowered his head as he suck in on his lower lip. Several seconds went by before he lifted his head back up and look across the room at me.
"I don't know why you think so little of yourself but let me tell you Bella, you are special in my book. I don't know what it is exactly about you but ever since I have return to Forks you are always on my mind. You are in my dreams. You are in my fantasies. I have never, ever, had to struggle so damn hard with lust before you came along. You might not want to believe this but there is something about you that makes me want to throw the robe aside and pounce on you like you're my last meal." He stated.
I felt my stomach sink deeper with each word that came out of his wonderful mouth.
Was it possible that Jacob felt more than lust for me? Was it true? Was I the only woman who could entice him? What does this mean? What were we suppose to do now? Where would this lead? Would we both be able to walk away from this strong undercurrent of desire between us?
"You just said it Jacob, lust. You feel lust for me. I want more than that. I want someone who can love me unconditionally and with all of their heart." I felt my heart breaking as he stood silently staring at me. His face was void of expression. I could not read him.
"I'm sorry Bella. I can't do this. All I know is that my body is attracted to you. I know that I adore you Bella. You are very special to me. But the type of love you are asking for …well, I just can't give you that." Jacob's voice was filled with anguish as he turn and walk out of my house with out saying another word to me.
I stood there frozen. I could not believe that he just pretty much told me that other than a physical attraction and a solid friendship he was not, no, he wouldn't give me more than that. I understood why. Hell, I even half expected this response from him. Yet it still hurt like hell to hear him say the words out loud.
XXX
BPOV:
A week later...
"It's not like I can't repaint it if I don't like it." I laughed as Paul frowned at the color of paint I had chosen for the kitchen.
"Honey, you want me to spend my whole day off painting your kitchen a color that your heart isn't set on. Let's try it on one wall and then if you don't like it we can go down to the hardware store and pick up something else." Paul rolled his eyes playfully.
"Okay." I caved. I knew I was being fickle today. When we had gone shopping I had my heart set on a cute pattern of wall paper I had seen in an ad but then when we arrived I started looking at the paint. There was so many color choices that my head began to spin from the possibilities.
Paul didn't mind waiting on me to choose but now that we were back at my house and he saw me frowning I knew he was starting to wonder if I really wanted to color the walls at all. I couldn't explain it but over the past week I wanted to change everything in the house. I even sold my old furniture and purchased a brand new couch and ottoman just because I was restless and had the extra money to spend. Normally I'm more like my father and enjoy the frugal side of me but lately I just had this itch to spend and change things either in my house or hell even about myself. I went and had two inches of my hair cut and had it colored a darker shade of brown. I spent a whole afternoon getting my hair done, a manicure and a pedicure. This was not my usual flair.
I use to dread all of these feminine activities and yet here I was proactively doing it.
"Leah asked if we wanted to go with her and Drew to the movies tomorrow night. Are you up for it?" Paul asked me as he began to stroke the paint brush up and down with a professional flair while mine looked blotched.
"Sure." I agreed easily. I couldn't explain it even to myself but going out with friends seemed better than staying in doing nothing but thinking about the last afternoon I spent alone in my house with Father Jacob.
"Good. I have to say I'm not sure what has gotten into you but I am definitely enjoying it." Paul teased. He leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on my cheek. Turning my head to face him I kissed him back on his lips.
I felt a small spark ignite in the pit of my stomach as his eyes burned into mine.
Paul and I hadn't been really sexually active since we began to date again. I knew he was being patient and waiting for me to give him the sign to move forward with us. I was pleased that he was allowing me to set the pace of our relationship. In the past, Paul had been the one who had pressured me into going as far and far as he wanted. I had seen a different side of him since then. He had really matured and grown up into a gentleman.
"I'm crazy about you." I whispered as I pulled my lips away from his.
His eyes glowed with a eery spark that warned me that he was falling for hard for me and I had to tread softly. I was crazy about him but I couldn't quite say if I was IN love with him just yet.
"I feel the same for you." His word choices eased my fears that he might expect too much from me too soon.
We dropped our paint brushes and threw our arms around one another as we shared a deeper and more passionate kiss.
He was rougher than Jake, his hands were more confident as they roamed my backside, sliding around my waist until they landed on my breasts. His hands pulled and grasped them with a strength that I knew also held experience in it.
"Mmm...yes..." I moaned into the back of his throat.
Paul pushed me gently backwards as his body crawled over mine. He lifted up enough so his body weight wasn't pressing too hard on me as he kissed me and unbutton my blouse. I soon felt the cool air on my chest before his head lowered and I felt his mouth covering my breasts, back and forth. My eyes were opened as I looked up at the ceiling and tried so hard not to let Jacob's face steal into my mind.
This was about me and Paul, not Father Jacob. He wasn't a possibility and he wasn't going to be anything more than a friend to me. Paul on the other hand was a possible future, a lover, a partner and who knew maybe even my husband someday. This was normal. This was natural. This was the way it was supposed to be between a woman and a man.
I didn't feel guilt when his cock pressed up against my inner thigh. I didn't feel horrible as his mouth devoured my breasts. I felt like a woman who was being cherished and possessed by a man who would offer me anything I would ever ask of him.
"I ...we should..." Paul suddenly set up, kneeling in front of me. Both of his eyes held the passion that consumed him.
"What's wrong?" I asked with alarm. Why would he stop now? Paul never stopped in the middle of our make out sessions. I was the one who normally had to put the brakes on.
"I want you Bella but I know if I keep doing this with you, eventually your going to want to stop and it kills me." Paul gasped for air, running both of his hands through his hair as he struggled to control the hormones that rushed through his veins.
"What are you telling me?" I frowned up at him.
"I'm telling you that as much as I love making out with you, the lack of release hurts me. I mean literally." Paul stroked his crotch showing me that he was stiff as a board beneath his tight denim jeans.
"Oh." I knew it was getting harder for him to resist pushing us past first base. He was a grown man and he had needs. I knew he wasn't trying to manipulate me into having sex with him but he needed more than kissing and feeling me up to help ease his sexual frustration.
"I'm not ready for sex yet but ….we could try something else." I chewed on the corner of my lip as I watch him consider my compromise.
"Such as?" He looked interested.
"First, help me up and let's go to my room." He helped me up off the kitchen floor. Holding his hand I led him into my room. I didn't bother with closing the door because we were alone.
"Lay on my bed." I ordered softly.
He was quick to follow my simple demands.
"Pull your jeans off." I took off my blouse and bra while he took his jeans off.
"What are you going to do?" he asked with eager anticipation.
"Shh...just lay back and relax." I whisper as I crawl up on the bed and kneel between his legs.
Taking him in my hand I slowly stroke his silky steel rod. My mouth waters as I watch his eye lids close and a soft moan slip between his lips.
Paul was enjoying my touch and surprisingly I found that I was excited by this.
Licking my lips to moisten them I leaned over him, my hair tickling his thighs as I slid my mouth around him and put him as far back in my throat as I could with out choking. His hips buckled as I slid my mouth up and down him while my hand cupped and kneaded his family jewels.
"Oh sweetness...Bella...yes baby...only you..." Paul groaned as he watched me enjoy myself by pleasuring him. I smiled seductively as I reached the tip of his mushroom head. I twirled my tongue around it, lapping at it like a lollipop.
"I want you to cum in my mouth." My voice was raspy with desire. I watched as his eyes widen with excitement and I knew it was turning in him on as I spoke dirty things to him. I loved that about Paul, I could let myself go when I was with him. I never had to feel ashamed or guilty for my sexual needs. He was more than willing to give me what I wanted, when I wanted it. I realized that this was where I should be. Paul was a good match for me. He could make me very happy if I just let him.
Ten minutes later I was rewarded for my hard work and had a mouthful.
"Where you going?" Paul gasped for air as I climbed off the bed and went straight to the bathroom.
"I got to brush my teeth." I answered as I grabbed my toothbrush.
"Was it that bad?" He ask with a hint of insecurity to his voice. I stuck my head out of the bathroom so he could see my face when I answered him.
"Not one bit baby but we have to finish painting that kitchen and cum breathe isn't going to be appealing to you later when you kiss me." I winked at him before going back to my task of cleaning my mouth out.
"What about you? Don't you want me to help you out?" Paul entered the bathroom as I was rinsing my mouth out with mouth wash.
"You can help me later. Right now I just want to work on that kitchen and then tonight you can take care of my needs so I can sleep like a kitten." I stroked his face with the back of my hand as I look at him with a spark in my eyes.
"I swear your the most amazing woman I know." Paul replied wearing a smile of a man who knew when he had found a good thing.
"I know." I replied with a smirk.
"Now come show me your skills again with a paint brush."
Two hours later we had managed to finish the one wall and I was happy with the results.
"So off or on?" Paul ask as he stepped back to admire our work.
"On. I like it." I said with true contentment in my voice.
"Me too." Paul circled my waist with his arm holding me tightly against him.
"So do you want to keep going?" He looked at the other walls.
"No, let's go grab a bite to eat. I'm starving and you deserve a meal for your hard work."
"I think you already rewarded me for my work." He smiled mischievously at me.
"Oh honey that was just one of the rewards." I teased as I grabbed my keys and purse.
We agreed the diner would be sufficient place to eat. We both were craving a good old juicy hamburger and fries. The diner made their food from scratch so much better than one of the fast food chains we also had in town.
Paul opened the door for me as we entered the cozy warm diner.
There was the usual customers inside. I saw my father and Seth in a booth.
"Hey there is dad and Seth." I pointed.
"Let's go see them." Paul pressed his hand gently on my lower back as he led me to them.
"Hey guys." I greeted them.
Both men smile affectionately at me.
"Hey sweetheart. Hi Paul." Charlie smiled warmly at him.
"What have you two been doing?" Seth frown at me strangely. My cheeks instantly turned bright red wondering if somehow he knew I had given Paul a mind blowing blow job earlier. I turn and look at Paul to see that he wasn't embarrassed at all.
"What do you mean?" I gulped hard.
"There is paint on your shirt and pants." He looked me over from head to toe.
"Oh. I'm repainting the kitchen." I laughed with relief.
"We are starving so we took a break." Paul explained.
"You guys can join us." Charlie scooted over to make room for me. Seth did the same for Paul.
"So what are you two up too? Where is Sue?"
Since my dad and Sue began dating she made a point of not letting my dad eat out so often. She was worried about his heart. Her previous husband had died from a sudden heart attack. I knew she adored my father and wanted to keep him in her life for as long as possible.
"Sue is out shopping for the wedding while me and Seth here are talking about the Fall festival coming up at the church. He has to find some help for a few booths the youth group is helping with." Charlie replied.
"Oh." I hoped that this wasn't Dad's subtle hint that he would like me to volunteer my time. I loved Seth and normally working for the church wouldn't bother me one bit but the thought of having to see Father Jacob wasn't something I desired any longer.
"Bella and I would love to help you out Seth." Paul smiled happily at Charlie.
I felt an urge to kick him hard but knew he would cry out in pain and give me away.
"Really? Thanks!" Seth exclaimed.
"Sure." I gritted my teeth together and flashed a Paul a look that let him know with out words he wasn't getting rewarded for this.
The waitress took our orders and we were soon served our food. I enjoyed talking to three of the most special men in my life. Each one of them loved and protected me in their own ways.I realized that these three men would have suffered if I had acted on my feelings for Father Jacob. The scandal would not only embarrassed them but it would have deemed me as unworthy of their love. I definitely made the right choice when I backed off and put things in perspective.
Now, if I could just remember that when I saw Jake in a few days and not allow my hormones to take over my common sense.
XXX