Denial
Chapter Ten
As the sun rose the next morning, Elly awoke to find herself in bed wrapped up in Chloe's arm. She had rolled over during the night and now they were holding each other face to face. She noticed Chloe was awake and pressed her forehead gently against Chloe's, desperately wanting to bring her lips to Chloe's but afraid of been rejected once more after everything she had told Chloe the previous night.
"How long have you been awake?" Elly whispered.
"A few hours…couldn't sleep too well once I woke up," Chloe admitted.
Elly nodded, feeling her grip on Chloe's waist tighten softly, "Are you ready to talk? As much as I would love to just lay here with you I know you have to go to work early."
Chloe ran her tongue across her bottom lip as she decided where to begin, "You need to talk to Mark today and tell him the truth that you're not pregnant to him. Maybe don't mention the Shaun part of it."
"I will," Elly agreed, "I'm a little afraid of his reaction…I might ask him to meet me down by the lake."
"Will you call your doctor back this morning and find out if you're pregnant?" Chloe asked next, before revealing, "I don't know how I feel about that if you are…but you need to know first…and we'll deal with it if you are."
"Will we deal with it together?" Elly asked and after a moment of silence from Chloe, realized it was too soon for Chloe to consider a future with her if she was pregnant to Shaun, "I'll call him after I've spoken to Mark. If I am…I don't want that to rattle me and scare me off from telling Mark."
"If you are…will you tell Shaun?" Chloe enquired.
Elly's eyes widened, "I don't know…I don't really know the guy. I don't even remember anything about my night with him…except he got me a drink from the bar and we talked a little at the bar…then…nothing…next thing I knew I was waking up in his hotel room bed. He was in the shower."
Chloe closed her eyes, trying desperately not to picture Elly hooking up with a handsome stranger she'd never met.
"God, Chlo, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have made you think about that," Elly apologized realizing her mistake, "I'm so sorry I let myself do this to you and hurt you like this."
Chloe didn't know how to respond, she couldn't tell Elly it was okay when it wasn't, she couldn't bring herself to forgive her because it hurt her heart to think Elly could do that so quickly after they nearly had a chance together. Eventually Chloe settled on, "I'm gonna need more time to deal with what you did with Shaun, okay? I can get past it…I just need a bit of time."
Elly bought her hand up to hold Chloe's face gently, "I don't deserve you."
Chloe fell into Elly's touch but was unable to assure Elly that she did deserve her, "I need to get to work early. Can I make you breakfast before I go?"
Elly nodded sweetly, "Yes…and…maybe tonight…after everything is out in the open with Mark and I know whether I'm…can we get together and hang out?"
"Okay," Chloe agreed but deep down she couldn't help wondering if Elly would continue hurting her.
A few minutes later, Elly was sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen table and watched on as Chloe muddled around the kitchen making them breakfast. Elly smirked adorably at Chloe every time she opened a wrong draw or doubled back checking again in different drawers as she tried to find the culinary instruments she was looking for. Having never spent any time in the kitchen at the Kennedy's, Elly was not surprised to see Chloe go through every single inch of the kitchen trying to find what she was searching for.
"Are you sure you don't want my help?" Elly asked already knowing the answer.
"I can manage this…making you breakfast without knowing where in God's name anything in your kitchen is…seriously do not have a whisk anywhere in this kitchen? Oh wait found it," Chloe announced, before rushing over to pour two cups of tea as the kettle came to a boil and passed one to Elly before turning back to the breakfast she was making.
Elly couldn't do anything else but stare in wonder at Chloe. She was conflicted because every part of her wanted to wake up in Chloe's arms every morning and she couldn't help but imagine the pair taking turns every morning making each other breakfast. She knew she had a lot of work to do to regain Chloe's trust and any future they did have was up in the air but for now all she wanted to do was spend time with her best friend and hope that one day things would work out for them.
Fifteen minutes later Chloe served them both a plate of breakfast; she pulled up a stool and sat next to Elly. As they eat in silence, the pair kept making quick glances at each other, unable to hold their gaze for long as they were still afraid of the situation they were in and how much hurt they had caused each other.
As she finished her meal, Elly gently nudged her shoulder against Chloe's and very gently placed her hand on Chloe's knee. Thankful that Chloe didn't pull away, Elly held Chloe's gaze deeply, "That was amazing. I really wish you didn't have to go to work so I could spend more time with you."
"Me too," Chloe whispered gently unable to break Elly's gaze, "But once you've sorted out a few things today…we'll spend some time together tonight, okay?"
Elly nodded in complete agreement, "I can't wait."
Eventually their moment was broken when Bea entered the main area of the house. Elly didn't drop her hand away from Chloe's knee and neither of them shifted away from each other. Bea smiled sweetly at the pair, hoping Elly was back to been herself and that Chloe and she had sorted things out.
"Good morning," Bea greeted the pair.
Chloe and Elly both greeted her with Chloe offering her some leftover breakfast.
Bea poured herself a glass of water, "No thanks, I'm starting work late today and Shaun wanted to catch up so I'm meeting him at Harold's for breakfast. I'll be back here to get changed before I head to the garage."
As she sipped on her water, Bea watched on as both Elly and Chloe seemed to both tense up at the mention of Shaun which was weird for Bea since Elly had only just met him a couple days ago and as far as she knew she doubted Chloe had met him, "Everything okay? I know you don't like me spending time with Finn's brother but its just breakfast."
"Its fine," Elly blurted out trying hard to hide her horror at the thought of her little sister spending time with the guy she'd had a one night stand with. Let alone the fact that she finally thought Chloe and her were making some progress together that morning only to be reminded of Elly's betrayal.
Chloe ran her hand through her hair before announcing, "I should go too. I've got to head home and get changed for work. I'll call you later tonight, Elly, when I've finished up."
Chloe then placed her hand on Elly's hand, squeezing it gently, "Good luck with your talk with Mark."
Bea watched on as Chloe took her time getting up and watched as the pair held hands as Chloe stood up and stared at each other meaningfully before Chloe eventually let go of Elly's hand and left the house.
Bea smiled at her sister as Elly continued staring after Chloe even after she'd walked out of her eyesight, "So…did you two sort things out? Did you tell Chloe everything that's been going on with you the past few weeks and what caused your…little meltdown?"
Elly blinked a few times before giving Bea her attention, "We sorted things out a little, yeah. Yes, I told Chloe everything that has been going on with me, it wasn't easy. I need to sort a few things out today and then maybe I can see exactly where things stand between Chloe and me."
"You two look really happy together," Bea observed, "Does this mean there's a chance you two might…that you would want to be with Chloe?"
Elly blushed, unable to admit to her sister yet, that it was the only thing in the world she wanted, even more than not wanting to be pregnant to Shaun, "We've got a lot of things to sort out. I made some…pretty big mistakes…and I need to work that out before…Chloe and I can work out where we stand...but I am hopeful that we'll be together one day."
Bea nodded, hoping that Elly would find a way to elaborate on her 'mistakes' after she had worked out…whatever it was that needed to be worked out, "Okay, I'll leave you to it, I should be back in an hour."
Before Bea left the house, Elly thanked her, "Bea…thanks for getting Chloe to see me yesterday. I'm glad you went to her to help me."
An hour later Elly was still seated on the stool at the kitchen table. She was staring at her phone and the text message from Mark saying he was at work but could meet her down by the lake in 2 hours' time after he finished his shift. Elly was scared to find out how he was going to react to the news that she'd been lying to him about been pregnant to him. Though she never believed Mark could be the type to get violent, Elly had determined to herself that she didn't trust him to tell him the news alone with her at his place. She wanted people to be around in case he snapped at her even though the chances were greater that Mark would instead yell to high heaven at her and embarrass her verbally in front of anyone in the area. But after the hurt she caused him it was the least she felt she deserved.
Elly was so consumed by her thoughts she barely noticed Bea arrived back home. Elly jumped when Bea came up to her. Bea apologized for scaring her.
"Um…how was your…breakfast?" Elly asked not really wanting to know.
Bea sat down on the stool next to Elly, "It was…so Shaun asked me to meet up with him as he wanted to apologize for…the weirdness the other day when he was here and bumped into you. He told me the pair of you had already met."
Elly felt sick to her stomach, she knew if she was pregnant to Shaun she would have to explain her one night stand to her sister but she had hoped she didn't need to explain the father was Finn's brother, "Oh God, did he tell you?"
Bea placed her hand on Elly's lower back supportively, "Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you if I'd known that was the reason why you've been living like a shell of a person the past 6 weeks. That was the mistake you were talking about earlier?"
"I was so ashamed of what I'd done that night," Elly admitted fighting back tears that welled up in her eyes, "I was so afraid of how Chloe would react to finding out."
"So you told Chloe last night? How did she take it?" Bea asked.
"Pretty heartbroken but she said with a bit of time she can move past it," Elly admitted, praying it was true, "I really hope we can move past my one night stand and be together one day soon."
Bea frowned in confusion, "What are you talking about?"
Elly dropped her face allowing her hair to fall across her face, "Well…I…I thought I told you this morning that one day I want to be with Chloe."
"Well yeah that's been pretty obvious over the last day and I had a talk with Chloe yesterday about everything that has happened between the pair of you the last 6 months and I am more than supportive of you two but I wasn't talking about that," Bea explained, "Why are you calling it a one night stand?"
Elly continued to hang her head in shame.
Bea sat back for a minute, "Wait do you not remember what happened between you and Shaun that night?"
Elly shook her head still unable to face Bea, "I don't remember anything after I met him at the bar."
Bea reached out her hand and squeezed Elly's shoulder, "Sweetie, Shaun told me about your night at the hotel. He wanted to clear the air as to the weirdness from bumping into each other the other day. Honestly he was really worried about you and wanted to find out how you were doing after you ran out on him the next morning. It wasn't a one night stand. Shaun told me you two didn't sleep together."
"What?" Elly looked up at Bea in shock.
"You didn't sleep with Shaun when you were drunk," Bea repeated as she ran her hand across Elly's shoulder, "Shaun explained to me that you were both drunk and you went back to his hotel room, had some more to drink and okay yeah you made out with each other and he got naked and you came really close to having sex with him but you stopped it. Oh honey, no wonder you've been so stressed out the last 6 weeks."
Elly was stunned, "I didn't have sex with him? I…stopped it? I just…I woke up in his bed while he was in the shower and there was a condom on the floor and I wasn't wearing my dress so I…I ran out of there as I couldn't stand what I've done. Are you sure he's telling you the truth?"
Bea wrapped her arm around her sister, "Yes, he is. He told me he didn't even know your name and had no way to track you down after you took off. He may have been drinking that night but he explained to me why you stopped it from going that far with him. Do you really not remember that night?"
Elly shook her head, repeating, "I stopped it?"
"Yes, you stopped yourself from sleeping with him because you're in love with Chloe," Bea told her, "You get very very honest when you've had a few champagnes in you."
Elly frowned, "I told Shaun about Chloe?"
"Sweetie, you spent two hours crying to Shaun and telling him absolutely everything there is to know about Chloe. He couldn't manage to wrangle your name from you before you fell asleep next to him but he knows just how soft Chloe's hair is and the exact shade of colour it is," Bea told Elly, before smirking and hoping to get a smile out of her sister, "You might've spent nearly an hour of that time telling him all about Chloe's prefect hair."
Elly nearly smiled, "I did? I really told Shaun I love her?"
"Yes, you love Chloe and from what Shaun told me you made that very clear to him that she was the only person in the world for you so you didn't sleep with him, he didn't know anything about you but he knew if he allowed you to sleep with him you would regret it for the rest of your life," Bea comforted Elly, "Wait…did you tell Chloe last night that you slept with Shaun 6 weeks ago?"
"Well, yeah, that's what I assumed happened that night and I felt so guilty about it, Bea, like I know we're not together but it really felt like I'd betrayed her and any chance of a future with Chloe," Elly confessed.
"And Chloe told you given time she could move past your 'one night stand' and try to make it work between you?" Bea asked, "Sweetie, Chloe is amazing to react like that but you need to go to her and tell her nothing happened between you and Shaun, it was just a whole big misunderstanding and there's nothing she needs to forgive you for except for getting drunk and making out with a guy in his bed whilst he was…naked…granted not your best move but hey it could've been worse. Oh and make sure you ask Chloe out to dinner after she forgives you."
"I will," Elly smiled for the first time in what felt like months, she felt so relieved to have learned that her love for Chloe had stopped her from making the biggest mistake of her life and she couldn't wait to be able to tell Chloe she hadn't actually slept with Shaun. Elly nearly choked as she realized what this meant, "Wait…if I didn't have sex with Shaun that night then I'm not pregnant…"
Now it was Bea's turn to be shocked, "Wait? What?"
"Uh um," Elly stammered, realizing Bea only knew half of the reason her mistake with Shaun could've cost her a future with Chloe, "I…can you just hold that thought for…five minutes? I need to call my doctor back as he's been calling like crazy the last few days and I've been avoiding him because I thought he was going to tell me I was pregnant to Shaun. I swear I'll tell you everything just as soon as I make this call."
With that Elly raced to her bedroom to grab her phone.
Bea stared after her sister in complete shock. "How…? What…? Elly's not…but I don't understand…how does her not having sex with Shaun mean she's not…? Ohhhhhh!"