Castiel didn't go to dinner at Bobby's that evening but he did email Sam.

Sam,

Hello. I wanted to let you know I'm back in Sioux Falls. I saw Bobby today when I had him remove the most insane idea Gabriel's had in years. Can you believe he put an ipod dock in my classic car? So happy you're spending the summer here. We should hang out. I've missed so much about Sioux Falls, I hadn't even realized it. It's good to be home.

I know we've been avoiding conversations about Dean, but if you've got a few minutes to spare I'd like to speak with you. I've not seen him or talked to him yet, but I have a feeling I will soon. I won't ask you to divulge anything you don't think he'd want you to say. But, I could really use a friend.

-Cas

He took the shirt from his drawer one last time. He would let himself indulge one more night. This time making sure not to feel the sad memories but the happy ones. He didn't want to spend the night crying again. What harm could it do to remember some of the good times? That's what people did right? That was a thing people did, he was sure of it.

The shirt felt more like home than the apartment he'd lived in for four years in Oxford. He'd loved England sure, but in the faded, soft, thin cotton sliding loosely over his skin was a familiar place. He would return it tomorrow. He just needed one more night.

Sam was sitting at home waiting on Jess to get back to the apartment. She had volunteered to bring dinner home so he didn't argue. His phone made a ding saying he had a new email. He clicked the icon and checked it quickly. He read it and immediately he was worried about Dean.

He clicks the speed dial button until he hears it ringing.

"Hey Sammy!" Dean greeted him.

He sounded happy so it eased Sam's worries slightly.

"Hey Dean, how's everything going there?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"You mean how am I dealing with the fact that Cas is back and apparently having super secret conversations with my brother for the last four years?.. It's fantastic Sam. How's things in California?" Dean said laughing when he was finished.

"I'm not sorry Dean he was my friend, still is. I'm not going to apologize if that's what you're looking for. I didn't bring it up because I knew how messed up you were over the guy and I didn't want to make it worse. You should know until tonight we'd never said a word about you. He never asked and I never volunteered anything." Sam said stubbornly.

"What do you mean until tonight? Did you talk to him tonight?" Dean asked quickly.

"He sent me an email, said he'd like to talk. Promised he wouldn't ask me for anything I wasn't comfortable sharing, but he could use a friend and most of his are probably back in England. I haven't answered his email yet. But, I'm probably going to if I don't just call him instead." Sam answered.

"Why didn't he just ask me?" Dean thought to himself but wouldn't dare say it aloud.

"It's fine Sammy tell him whatever you want. Just make sure he's okay, alright? I .. I just want to know that he's okay." Dean said.

"Sure thing Dean, I'll make sure he's okay. We've got all our stuff packed up. Jess may even be more excited than I am, and that's not an easy thing to be." Sam laughed.

"You'll be in Saturday right?" Dean asked

"Yep just three more days Jerk." Sam smiled.

"See ya then Bitch." Dean laughed before hanging up the phone.

Sam responded to Castiel's email.

Cas,

Hey man, that's awesome! I look forward to seeing you. I'll be there in three days. I was wondering if your number is still the same? I thought maybe I'd give you a call and we could talk about stuff. I'm not really sure this is something to discuss in email correspondence. You've been a great friend, it's the least I could do.

Sam

Castiel replied immediately to Sam's response. He was happy Sam was being so friendly about the whole thing. He wasn't sure how he would feel about it. He knew how overprotective Sam was of Dean and Castiel didn't want to throw up any red flags.

Not ten minutes later he heard his phone ringing.

"Hello Sam, thank you for calling." Cas answered

"No problem man, It's cool you have the same number." He chuckled a little.

"Yeah, I saw no reason to change it." Castiel said biting his lip nervously. He usually had no problem talking to Sam. But, this was the first time he was going to discuss Dean and he wasn't sure how Sam would react.

"Before we get started you should know, I spoke to Dean. He's instructed me to say whatever I want, under one condition." Sam paused.

"Yes?" Castiel swallowed.

"He just wanted me to make sure you were okay. He couldn't have stopped me from talking to you but I wanted you to know that we have his blessing or whatever. He just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay." Sam said.

Castiel let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and sighed in relief. It was a good sign that Dean wanted him to be okay wasn't it?

"I will be fine Sam. I just want to start by telling you more about how I felt over the last four years before I ask anything." He said much more confidently.

'That night he took me outside, told me that your dad had passed and he'd taken on the responsibility of raising you and Adam. Said he didn't know about Adam before the hospital. Then, I understood why he hadn't called me. It wasn't until he told me you'd begged him to stay, that I realized he never planned to tell me anything. He had made the decision to not talk to me ever again. The only reason I saw him that night was because of you. You can't imagine how grateful I am to you for that. Don't get me wrong, it broke my heart. But with the way it worked out, I got to see him again. I had my chance to tell him I was sorry for what happened, and I had the opportunity to walk away. He wasn't going to give me that. He was just going to make my decision for me. I wanted so badly for him to stop me, I wanted for him to ask me to stay, for him to want to stay too, but he didn't. I left quickly. Crying the entire way, I went to the place where he'd taken me on our date. I went to that field where I'd fallen in love with him. I cried for hours, I didn't know what to do. I'd never had feelings for anyone before, certainly never loved before. For the longest time Michael and Gabriel told me it would be okay, it was just a crush or puppy love or a million other terms they used. They told me that I would grow out of it, that I'd move on, that I'd get over it and things would be better. They were wrong Sam." He paused, the tears were overwhelming him he had to take a minute to collect himself.

"I'm so sorry Cas." Sam said giving him a minute.

"I know, I'm just trying to get a lot out. Things I haven't said in years, some stuff I've never said. So here goes; I slept in the shirt I borrowed from him for two months before leaving it behind, when I left for Oxford. I know it's kind of creepy but I couldn't help it. It was like the one piece of him I still had, and it was all I could do to crawl out of it every single morning. I didn't want to take it with me, I thought I would never move on if I did. The first few months were hard, then I met a guy named Balthazar. He casually hit on me for a few months but once he got the idea I wasn't interested we became close friends. A couple years later he asked me, about the man that had broken me... that's exactly how he phrased it. I told him he'd done no such thing. That just because I wasn't the campus whore didn't mean I was broken. I was angry didn't talk to him for nearly a month. When I did he took me out and got me wasted. I apparently say a lot more when drunk. I told him what happened and that I was stupid for falling in love after just one date and only two days of knowing Dean. He taught me that you can't help when or how you fall in love. It just happens. Sam it's been four years, I've never looked at anyone else. I'm not even sure I know how to." He paused again taking a few deep breaths.

Sam, of course gives him the time he needs.

"Here I am again completely oblivious to what I need to do. Most of me is aching to run to him and never let go. But I have no idea how he feels or if he'd even want me anymore. Gabriel says he hasn't dated but that doesn't mean he wants me. It doesn't mean that things will work out. I just.. I can't get that close only to get torn away again. I'm not strong enough to survive it. If it weren't for my brothers, school, and my friends I wouldn't have survived last time. I'm still not even sure how I did. I just know that being in England helped mellow the ache inside me to be near him. Now that I know he's so close again it's even more painful. I guess that brings me to the questions. Sam I'd like to know what you know and want to tell me about how he's been over the past four years." Castiel stopped barely holding himself together.

"I'm more than happy to tell you what I know. Just one second, going to help Jess carry the food in." Sam said.

Castiel heard a bang in the background and a feminine voice.

"Who you talkin' to hon?" She said sweetly.

"I'm talking to Castiel, I'll heat my dinner up later okay?" Sam asked just as nicely.

"Dean's Cas?" She asked.

Castiel's heart lurched. Sam had told Jessica about him. Not only that he knew him, but that he had once belonged to Dean. That made him smile even though the tears were still coming.

"Okay man, sorry about that I'm all yours again." He said.

"No problem Sam, If you'd like to eat we can talk again later?" He asked.

"Oh no, now that I've got you on the phone I'm not letting you go till we get this figured out." Sam chuckled.

"Okay."

"Now where were we, oh yes the doubly wrapped enigma wrapped inside a riddle that is Dean Winchester. Okay Cas, I can't tell you everything because he tried his best to keep us alienated from the fact that he was feeling anything negative. He just isn't as good as he thinks he is at hiding his feelings. I'll tell you that I think he wanted to stay in South Dakota. I think if it hadn't been for my life in Austin he would have. I think he wanted you to stay. But, even if he wasn't leaving, he would have never asked you to. He wouldn't have let you give up your dream school, or the experience of living in Europe for four years. He sure as hell wouldn't have let you give it up for him. Dean can be stubborn as a mule but he'd cut his right arm off before he'd deprive someone he loved of anything he thought was important to them. Having said that i think he loved you, I think he still does. Honestly, I'd love to tell you to run to him now! To get out of wherever you are and find him and squeeze him till it makes sense. But, I can't be sure about how he would react to you. What I can tell you is that sometimes he can be a real dick. I love my brother more than anyone else in my life, maybe even more than Jess. I want him to be happy Cas, I don't think he's going to be truly happy without you, but I can't guarantee that he won't screw it up. He has a knack for messing up what he doesn't feel he deserves. I think you might just be one of those things. I also know that if you can make him see how much you love him, make him see that it's okay to say he loves you too, well then you've got him. You'll never find anyone more loyal, loving, or respectful. You both deserve the best things in life Castiel, you both deserve each other. I am not advising you in what to do with this information, that's up to you. I just want you to know that I know he still loves you. I see it just as clear as I see my love for Jessica or hers for me. It's obvious, so just figure out what you want and go get him." Sam said trying to catch his breath. Apparently this talking about feelings stuff wasn't nearly as easy as he'd thought.

"Thank you Sam, go get your dinner. I'll see you when you get here?" Castiel asked.

"Yes, are you okay?" He asked making sure to get the alright for Dean.

"I will be! Goodbye Sam. Thanks again." He replied with a smile as he hung the phone up.

Sam sent a text message before turning his phone off to eat dinner with Jess.

He said he will be okay, -Sam

Dean got the message nearly an hour after he'd talked to Sam.

"They must have had quite a conversation." He thought to himself.

Dean let it go, if that helped Cas then so be it. He wasn't going to deny him that.

He said his goodnight to Bobby and drove back to the diner. The rain peppered down hard on the windshield. One thing about South Dakota summers, they may be nice and warm but that didn't mean it was all clear skies.

He made it back to the diner and checked on a couple things before going upstairs.

Adam was waiting for him with a smile.

"You look much better, workin' on the car help that much?" Adam asked.

"Yeah man, sorry for biting your head off earlier, it's just been a crazy couple days." Dean replied.

"No problem Dean, it happens." Adam said before going to his room.

Dean laid in his bed thinking thoughts of what Cas was doing right then.

Castiel hung up with Sam, he'd made up his mind. He knew exactly what he was going to do.

The Charger roared to life under his foot. The drive was fast and easily navigated.

There was a ding as the door opened.

He walked straight to the counter not considering his appearance.

"I'd like to speak to the owner please." He said politely.

"Is there a problem sir?" asked the confused blonde behind the counter.

"No I'd just really like to speak with the owner please." Castiel said again firmly.

"Sure thing, I'll go get him." She said.

She returned quickly.

"He'll be right down." She said and smiled before turning to refill someone's coffee.

His eyes turned to the door she'd stepped out of.

Dean pushed it open. He was even more gorgeous than Castiel had remembered. His hair tossed, as if maybe he'd been asleep. His eyes piercing through him like a familiar touch. He could barely breathe, let alone remember what he was supposed to be doing.

"Cas!" Dean said. There was no doubt he was shocked. Just how Castiel had wanted him.

He repeated Dean's movements from the garage when he'd asked if Dean would be interested in him. He moved swiftly, grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips moved softly against Dean's until he was pulled in. He'd been trying to hold back, but that was enough to make Cas pull even harder. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and pushed against him.

"AHEM" Jo's fake cough had brought them back to reality.

Both men clearly disappointed in the now cold air between them.