I've been working on this chapter for well over a month, & I gave it my best shot. It's a little cliche, but hopefully it's setting you up for the final chapter, which HOPEFULLY won't take me as long to write. Enjoy!

The next morning was the hangover from hell. Olivia couldn't see straight when she woke up to Noah crying over the monitor. She grabbed her robe that, unfortunately for her, still smelled like Amanda, and almost screamed as she went in to get her son.

"It's alright, baby," she soothed, lifting him into her arms. She held him tight. She wanted so badly to forget about everything that had gone on last night; all of the realizations she had made, and the fact that the "Elliot era" was over. She wanted to go back to what was familiar, what she knew and loved. But now, she had different interests, and her life no longer revolved around the man she fell asleep with the night before.

Noah finally settled down in Olivia's arms, and when she went out into the kitchen to make him a bottle to drink, she found Elliot making breakfast.

"Why are you awake?" she asked with a smile, getting into one of her cabinets to find the mixture for Noah's formula. She had to get warm water, as well, so that she didn't have to heat the damn thing up. She hated that. It was always either way too hot, or cold enough so that Noah wouldn't take it.

"Wanted to make you breakfast," he returned the smile, and then moved to talk to Noah. "Hey big guy! You're awfully cute, aren't you?" Elliot cooed. Noah hid from him with his hands up on his face, and Elliot gave Olivia a sad smile.

"It's nothing personal; he just doesn't like strangers…" Olivia said before realizing what she had really said. She wanted to take it back, but she knew that she couldn't. "Not that you're a stranger, but he doesn't know you, El—"

"No, I get it… I had five of my own, remember? And now a granddaughter… Ella."

"That's a beautiful name… I'm sure she looks like you." the brunette smiled at the thought of another little Stabler girl running around. Elliot's daughters were beautiful when they were younger, and their personalities came out as they got older, making them especially lovely. Olivia loved those kids so much, and now she really understood what it was like to have her own. Sure, Noah would never look like her, but by God, she would make sure that he inherited some of her good traits.

Elliot nodded. "She doesn't, really. She looks more like…" Elliot trailed off, not having to finish the sentence for Olivia to know what name he was about to say. Kathy. It always came back to Kathy.

Olivia nodded and made a face before leaving the kitchen to feed her son.

"Liv…" he called after her, before she turned around.

"Elliot, I don't need you to pretend like you don't love her around me. I know you do. You always have, and you always will. She's the mother of your children. I'm your… I don't even know what I am, but it doesn't matter anymore."

Elliot gave her a strange look. "What do you mean it doesn't matter? Liv, I came here for you. I am in love with you!"

Olivia swallowed hard. "But I'm not in love with you…" she said, as her voice began to tremble. "You… you remember that blonde you met? The one with me in the parking garage?" When Elliot didn't answer, Olivia continued in a whisper, "I… I think I love her."

Elliot didn't say anything. He looked at her and then down at the eggs on the stove, not even phased by the fact that they were now burning. Not on fire, burning, but they were getting a little crisp.

Olivia nodded, and then sniffed, trying to hold back her tears. "Okay," she told herself. She walked into the other room and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She wasn't sure if Elliot would ever talk to her again after that, and she wasn't sure he wouldn't light the place ablaze. But, she hoped that she could get him talking over breakfast, given he didn't burn her apartment building down first.

"You should tell her."

Olivia had just let Noah down to play and was watching him do so as she wiped some formula off of her robe. She was going to wean him off of it, but it was taking a little longer than anticipated. She wanted him to be done with formula around a year old, but it was hard… he loved it, and Olivia wanted to make sure he was still going to eat solid foods and not fuss about not having his bottle.

When she heard Elliot's voice, she looked up, and he set a plate down in front of her. Freshly made eggs, toast, and bacon, cooked to perfection. She saw he had a plate that looked about the same for himself, so she wasn't sure what had happened to the eggs she had seen him burning ten minutes ago.

"What?" she asked, unsure if she heard him correctly or not. Either way, she made a sour face, and didn't know if she liked the advice he may or may not have wanted to give her.

"Tell that blonde that you have feelings for her," he half repeated, adding a little more to his first comment so that she understood exactly what he was taking about. He sat down beside her, picking up his fork and taking a bite of what he'd just prepared.

Olivia took a breath. "No."

"Why not?"

The brunette let go of the breath she was holding. "Well, for starters… I'm her sergeant, El. I don't think internal affairs would the least bit interested to hear that I wasn't harassing her, I was telling her I had feelings for her," she hypothetically posed, shuddering at the thought of that actually happening.

"I'm pretty sure she has feelings for you, too, Liv," Elliot explained, lacing his fingers together on his lap. He couldn't believe she was after a woman. After all of the years that they had been… whatever they had been, and now that he had spilled his guts to her, she turned him down for this woman. Not that he had a problem with Olivia being with a woman, but it killed him that she wanted someone else.

"Yeah… I don't know… I was pretty harsh with her last time was spoke."

Elliot took her hand with his and smiled at her. "I'm sure she'll give you another chance. She really likes you, Liv."

"Yeah? And how would you know?" she asked, looking down at her son who was still playing peacefully on the ground.

"Because she looks at you the way I do…" he told her with pursed lips. He felt sad, but at the same time he felt relief. He didn't have to worry about hurting her anymore. Now, she could go be with the blonde lady, and he could go back to his life. He had a beautiful granddaughter to focus on now, and that made him so happy.

"El…"

He shook his head. "Go tell her."

"Elliot—"

"I'll watch Noah. Just go tell her how you feel."

Olivia ran like she had never run before. She took a cab for most of the way, but there was a traffic jam by Amanda's place, so she had to get out and move on her feet for a block or so. And she did. She ran the fastest she had ever run… chasing a perp had nothing on her like Amanda did. She made it up the six flights of stairs, and as she went to knock on Amanda's door, she realized it was unlocked.

Olivia cleared her throat, taking a deep breath. "Amanda?" she called, still thinking it was best to knock… she didn't want to walk in on something. What that something might be, though, she didn't even want to think about. "Amanda?" she knocked a little stronger, calling her name a little louder.

She thought it was peculiar that Amanda wasn't home and left her door unlocked, so she took a gulp and opened the door. She walked inside a little, and asked, "Amanda?" into the air.

"Liv?" Amanda called with a cracked voice, from what was either the detective's bedroom or bathroom. She ran out, her face flushed from what Olivia could only assume were Amanda's tears, and avoided eye contact. "Liv… I uh… I'm kinda busy," she managed to say, her voice trembling with sadness.

"Amanda, what's going on?" Olivia asked gently, getting closer to her.

Amanda held out her hands, motioning for Olivia to stop, as she backed up. "Nothin', I'm fine. But please, go… I am… in the middle of somethin'."

Olivia had dealt with victims of rape and assault for the past sixteen years of her life. She had also dealt with their families, and those who simply avoided the truth no matter what the cost. She felt that Amanda was in a situation she couldn't escape right now, but it scared Olivia not to know what that situation was. Nevertheless, she said, "Okay… fine. Can I wait on your couch?"

Amanda looked up at the ceiling and took a frustrated breath. Her leg shook from the anxiousness coursing through her. "Please, please go? I'm fine, I promise I'm fine."

"Then why are you so upset?" Olivia asked, looking at her carefully, her eyes saddened by Amanda's words and actions. Not only that, but she felt that maybe the reason she had come here wasn't so important, now, and she really didn't know if she'd ever have the courage to bring it up to Amanda again… if Amanda even felt the same way anymore.

Amanda opened her mouth to answer when a phone began to vibrate and simultaneously beep. Over, and over, and over. Much too long for a text or a phone call. Olivia and Amanda's eyes locked in a stare. The blonde opened her mouth, but only a frustrated cry came out. Olivia didn't know what to do, so she went over and hugged the detective tightly. "Shh… you're okay, Amanda. It's okay."

Olivia now understood what was going on. Amanda thought she was pregnant. Olivia had had a pregnancy scare or two, and the only reason Amanda would let herself go like this was because she didn't know if she was carrying a child. Another human being. Olivia had been there herself.

"Honey…" Olivia soothed, rubbing her back. "C'mon. Let's go see what's goin' on. Put your mind at ease…"

Amanda could barely stand, but she managed to nod. "Okay," she was able to whisper before she wiped her tears as best she could, and lead Olivia to the bathroom where the test was.

There it was, sitting on the edge of the bathroom sink.

"You know, there's a chance this could be wrong," Olivia soothed as best she could. She pursed her lips, and held Amanda's hand, not knowing how else to comfort the younger woman.

"I… I can't look, Liv. W-will you do it for me?"

Olivia nodded as she swallowed the lump in the back of her throat. If she was pregnant, she would probably want to be with Nick, right? The father of her child… the man she had slept with time and time again, even though Amanda knew she had feelings for someone else. So, what did that mean for her? She'd spend even more of her life, pining away for someone she couldn't have? God, she'd spent just as long doing that as she had being part of the SVU squad.

With a shaky hand, she picked up the stick, and read it. She looked at Amanda and turned the stick around. "It's negative."

Amanda had her eyes closed when Olivia showed it to her, so when she opened them, they automatically widened. A huge smile formed on her face and she had a let out a laugh in spite of the drama that had just unfolded in her apartment. "Really? Liv… that means… oh my God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she cried, new tears running down her face. This time they were tears of happiness, and now, she hugged Olivia differently. Her body felt so light and weightless, whereas before, it was so heavy and upset.

"I didn't do anything," Olivia shook her head, leaning into the hug. She never wanted to let Amanda go.

"Maybe not, but you were here for me, Liv," Amanda told her seriously. "And that means the world to me," she said, pulling away so she could look into Olivia's eyes. They were so beautiful, and so full of relief.

Olivia nodded, and then looked down, as a smile crept up on her face.

"So, why are you here, anyway, sergeant?" Amanda asked, wiping her cheeks again, making sure she'd gotten all of the tears off, and then smiling at the brunette before her. "I know you didn't come over because your detective intuition was calling."

"Nah…" Olivia almost giggled. "I came here to tell you something, Amanda. And I don't know why I didn't realize it before, but last night I was with Elliot, and it all—"

"Elliot?"

It struck a nerve. Amanda was once again unamused, and her tone of voice definitely let the other woman know.

Olivia closed her eyes momentarily. "Just listen, please?" Amanda gave her a nod, and Olivia continued, "I was with Elliot last night, and I realized… I realized I have feelings for you. I… I love you, Amanda Rollins."

Amanda had to laugh in spite of herself. She could not believe what she was hearing, and especially after what had just happened… but, nevertheless, Amanda genuinely smiled, shaking her head. "You do, huh?" she asked, raising her brows playfully.

"Yes… I really, really do," Olivia admitted, but before she had time to say anything else, Amanda was kissing her, and that was when the sergeant realized that she didn't really have anything else she needed to say.